Used tire shop open near me

I’ll go first. There are many to choose from but there’s a client I had a while back… let’s call her F. This woman. I LOVE this woman.
She has two ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE little dogs, and I love them sooooo much! At the end of our meet and greet, she generously gave me a little bag of Filipino banana crackers. A day before the sit she said “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what you liked to eat so help yourself to anything you like!” and then kept checking in asking if I had lunch 😆 F was super sweet, communicated a ton with me the whole time, answered all my questions and loved the photos I sent her. Then, on the last day, I was scheduled to leave in the evening. F left me a GLOWING 5-star review and tipped me before I even left the house. I nearly cried. We had a very nice conversation after me thanking her.
Sometimes I make mistakes while pet sitting (misunderstanding body language, getting too close to other dogs by accident, etc) and I always feel like an absolute failure. So getting to talk those things out with people like F, and inadvertently leaving such a positive impression even with all my fuck-ups makes me feel so much better about my ability to be a good caretaker. I often re-read my reviews and it always leaves me feeling happy 🥰
So, what about you? Are you an owner or a sitter? Who have you hired/been hired by that has left a positive impression on you? What has been your favorite moment pet sitting? Tell me all about it! I think we could all use a dose of positivity!

I know this sounds like a super a-hole thing to say, and the throwaway is because a few of the people involved follow my main. My (28) oldest friend (28) was going through a tough time and I didn't know until a few months ago. TLDR: Step-Father is very ill, no chance to save him, and so both him and his wife (her mom) have used her as a punching bag for their grief. I have an online group of friends that I cherish dearly, and have kept me strong during my own issues, so I introduced them after asking her if she wanted to start playing the game we all play. She fit in perfectly, and everyone welcomed her.
Shes much more outgoing than I so she was easily integrated, and even drew more people in to the server. But now I feel like an alien in my own happy place. My close friend is always in the middle of the excitement, and more than once has there been an inside joke that the entire room uproars in laughter about, or break into a rant about someone who I thought was nice but apparently "we don't like", and I sit there in confusion because I wasn't invited to whatever they had done or am aware of any problems.
Ironically, the only way I am in the loop is because SHE tells me, and makes a point to bring up that all these people DM with her daily, including when they're all in call together. At this point, I've known most of the newer people for over 4 months and most of them only message me to ask about her. Even my closer friends that I used to be thick as thieves with have been less and less consistent with their messages. Its actually a joke in the group now that I'm too scary to talk to because I just give a really intimidating vibe, and I've told them that this joke hurts my feelings because I've actually been seen as the "scary girl" for a long time. I don't want her to feel bad about it, because I don't think its her fault at all, but it hurts because I went from having a group of people that I could talk to, to feeling like everyone around me would much rather prefer if I wasn't there. The straw that broke the back was when I got on once, she and a very good friend of mine were hanging out alone. I joined and they ganged up on me, saying that I sounded tired, don't I have work to do, I should go to sleep because I'm "very out of it". Both of these people I've been very close to, they know parts of me I wouldn't share with anyone else. And it was clear that they wanted me to go away. As I left, some of the others from the group joined and they started back up to their perky selves.
I don't know what I did, but it feels like everyone prefers her over me. I don't understand why we can't both be there, or why the close friends I had before seem to just not care as much about our relationship now. More than once has there been a time when we've both gotten online together, and the majority of the group will say hi to her, and completely ignore me. It hurts.

I’ve been struggling to stabilize my parameters for a couple weeks now and my water has been foamy when the jets are on. I went to the store to get my parameters double checked and they said my ph was high so they sold me some ph-
My parameters in the morning were: Bromine 10ppm Ph 8.5 ALK 80
After the ph- I left the cover open to try and lower the bromine, 30min after ph- my parameters were
Bromine 10ppm Ph 7.5 ALK 80
About 7 hours later:
Bromine 8ppm Ph 6.5 ALK 80
Now ph has basically crashed… I feel like I need to wait for bromine to go back to nearly 0 and then re-adjust my ALK and ph but I’m really not sure what the right move is now, any help?

Shatterfall [Online] [Starfinder] [PST]
Host’s Name: [ Mr. Man.]
TTRPG platform: [Starfinder]
Age Rating: [18+]
Mature Content: [There will multiple uncomfortable story devices that will be used, we ask that if you're applying that you have a open mind.]
Beginner friendly: [Yes, we encourage learning.]
Requirements:[Just discord and the use of the internet. ]
Time and Date: [ This will start usually around 5-7 pm pst]
Homebrewed Character Creation Allowed: [No]
Homebrewed World/Monsters: [Yes]
Character Level: [To be decided.]
Run Time: [6 hours for a long term campaign.] [Looking for 5 players, maybe more.]
[Story] The Pactworlds faces a strange mystery as multiple ships were obliterated by Divine Fire. Most think this is a simple attack but there are those that claim a dark omen has been seen. Unfortunately for you, you were on one of these vessels. Crash landing on Castrovel, you must uncover the mystery of why this has come to pass. A adventure that will take you not only through the pact worlds but a whole host of different systems, to uncover a dark plot that has been set in motion by a strange event that will lead you against a threat the galaxy was not prepared for. Fans of Pathfinder and Starfinder lore well be greatly awarded with facts and story related to the universe created by Paizo but also featuring some gods and lore seen in Dnd's universe Even to those new to the system or the lore the story offers a great start in a universe filled with so much to do. This is technically canon to a few other games I've ran, but that's part of the mystery to unpack. This is the beginning of a whole new adventure for those brave enough to face an oncoming darkness.
Please Dm me for further information!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!
Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!
I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.
Maybe you're new to /stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.
It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!
---
This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!
What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.
What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.
What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.
---
This post goes up at:
- US - Night/Early Morning
- Europe - Morning
- Asia and Australia - Evening/Night
A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.
---
Happy Friday!
“We’ve got to work gradually on our deeper, more profound change. We’ve got to open ourselves up to working on things carefully, layer by layer. We’ve got to exercise more patience with ourselves …. And we’ve definitely got to acknowledge and celebrate how far we’ve come more frequently so that we can practice being kinder to ourselves along the way.” – Natalie Edwards
IWNDWYT lovely people of SD!
If you have 30+ days sober and you’d like to host the DCI, reach out to SaintHomer and he’ll get you set up!

Today was my first time going to my home park with a friend since August of last year. I went with a high school friend who I hadn't seen since Memorial Day Weekend last year (also a trip to SFOT), and I let him use the first of my Platinum Pass discounted tickets (and of course now passholders get a $20 bring-a-friend ticket for the month of June). Our plan was to start with Titan and New Texas Giant and do a circle around the park, eventually winding up back where we started and marathoning our number ones (mine is NTG and his is Titan). Things started off incredibly smooth as we hit five rides in the first hour, but things would slow down after lunch as not everything would go according to plan afterward.
Titan - Even though my friend is not an enthusiast, he still ranks some of the coasters at the park, and Titan is his number one. We got the back row on the first train of the day and this thing was already hauling. I have fallen in love with the floater bliss that is the speed hill which will immediately be ruined next year by my first B&M hyper, and I grayed out in the second helix for the first time. This somehow keeps climbing my rankings, and is now competing with Mr. Freeze for my #2.
New Texas Giant - My number one until my upcoming reunion with Iron Rattler and my friend's number two prior to riding Mr. Freeze. We took the ninth row in order to get a walk-on, intent on getting a back row ride later in the day. The first half is great regardless of what row you're in, but riding in the middle versus the back can make the difference between floater and ejector airtime.
Chaparral Antique Cars - We did this as a meme but it turned out to be a nice, relaxing and surprisingly fun early day change of pace, but the best part was seeing some rare angles of Shockwave and New Texas Giant.
Shockwave - I was surprised to see this running single train ops as maintenance was working on the second train. Even so, it was still a walk-on, but we had to take the second-to-last row, again intent on returning for that back row ride.
Superman: Tower of Power - Amazingly, we only had to wait two cycles, and it turns out we timed our ride perfectly, as it started to get a line after we got off.
Newman's Cafe - I first tried these a week and a half ago on a solo trip because of Airtime Thrills, and knew right away I had to get my friend to try them. They're decent for theme park food, but the nuggets and fries could be crispier. Even so, my friend absolutely loved them.
Texas SkyScreamer - Is it just me, or did this get new seats since I last rode it last summer? Regardless, this was still a lot of fun to get back on again. Not very forceful, but the views are absolutely breathtaking, even if I couldn't clearly see the Dallas and Fort Worth skylines today.
Judge Roy Scream - This might actually be worse than some SLCs, though I wouldn't know since it's been 10+ years since I last rode one. We got a back row ride on this classic woodie, and this was the first time a coaster made me question my life choices. My friend and I both agreed that this thing was unbearably rough, and I audibly said that Six Flags should call up GCI.
Mr. Freeze - This was my friend's first time ever riding Mr. Freeze. Lesson learned: Ride this first on less crowded days. We waited anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour, and after waiting that long, we decided we were going to get the front row no matter what. Of course, the only people in front of us when they let us into the station also wanted the front row, and struggled with the restraints after returning to the station. The ride ops ended up reopening the air gates so my friend could get on the same train as me (in hindsight, we should've just gone through the air gates while the people in front of us were struggling and helped them out). So if you saw the ride ops reopen the air gates for one train today at around 2 PM after locking the restraints, now you know why (I'm actually surprised they did). I got stapled, which killed the airtime coming in and out of the inverted top hat, but it was kind of my fault, plus those lap bars are heavy as a brick. After getting off, my friend said that the wait was well worth it and that it very nearly overtook Titan as his number one.
Batman: The Ride - A single train wait for the back row when we got on. I don't know if we got the other train or what it was today since this thing was glass smooth when I rode it a week and a half ago, but Batman was ROUGH today. The B&M rattle was very noticeable and was accompanied with some occasional headbanging.
Catwoman Whip - I used to adore this thing as late as last summer (GP moment), but now that I'm a full-fledged enthusiast, I have come to realize how mediocre this ride truly is. You can definitely feel when you're upside down, but I wouldn't call it hangtime, and the positives when you're upright aren't that strong.
Pandemonium - Another I rode for the first time since last summer, and I was very disappointed by how little we spun. Operations were also iffy, as after we hit the final brake run, the ride ops took forever to start dispatching trains again and there was nothing wrong with the ride.
Runaway Mountain - This definitely deserves more attention. We were assigned to the front car and ended up taking the second row, but even so, it was still a great ride with decent airtime and swooping drops and helices that feel much faster than they actually are. This might actually be better than Batman.
New Texas Giant - Back for our back row ride, only for the ride to break down while we were in the station. We decided to wait it out, as I had seen the ride go down enough times to know that it's usually back up within ten to fifteen minutes. The people in front of us waiting for the back row decided to take another row for a shorter wait, so we got on one train sooner when it started running again.
Shockwave - After our back row ride on NTG, my friend was getting tired as his caffeine had worn off, so we decided to end the day early with a back row ride on Shockwave. As we approached the ride, we noticed that they were now running two train ops, and we walked on to the back row. I was left with plenty of leg room, but the lap bar came down one click on its own during the vertical loops, so I didn't get as much airtime in the second half as I would have liked.
JB's Smokehouse Barbeque - My friend wasn't yet hungry for dinner, but since I have an all season dining plan, I decided to grab a BBQ Brisket Sandwich on the way out. It was smaller than I remember, but was still good (I mean, come on. You can't go wrong with Texas barbeque). And the fries were actually crispy (looking at you, Newman's Cafe).
Overall, today was rather successful despite some setbacks and not getting to do our marathons. We rode everything we wanted to except El Diablo (I probably would have bashed it afterward), and I managed to get my friend on Mr. Freeze for the first time and it very nearly became his new number one.

I started working last week today. Since the beginning, the job has been a nightmare. I work at a toy store for parents with cash pockets. The kids are really lovely and so are their parents... The prices of all of our products are ungodly expensive. For instance, an LOL doll ball is worth $25 dollars at the store but on Amazon, it's like $7. I was told I would be working alone and that turned out to be true.
First red flag: My boss trained me for a single day and yelled at me after forgetting how to do something I only reviewed twice.
Second red flag: "We are hiring" is a fucking lie and there is definitely something sketchy about this situation. I am a newbie doing my best to go above and beyond. Multiple people have come in inquiring about a job. Since we don't have job applications (technically a third red flag), I just ask for their name and contact info to write on a piece of paper for my boss to look at. I kid you not... about five people had come in last week inquiring. After I took their info they asked what would happen next so I told them that I was new and that someone (didn't specify who) would contact them if they were interested. However, my boss was furious. She told me to never bother her with and I QUOTE "pest-like issues" and to not act so stupid and use my common sense. Like what the actual fuck?! I will gladly take down that hideous sign. On Friday, a boy about my age came in asking if my manager was in because he was there for an interview between 11 and 1 pm. I had no knowledge of this so I checked our work phone and believe it or not, his number showed that they had a 10-minute phone call. This confirmed his statement and 11 to 1 is a concrete time frame. My boss was chatting it up with the FedEx guy when I told her that the guy was there for their scheduled interview. She told me that she never scheduled an interview with anyone. When he introduced himself, she told him to be quiet and leave. Then she yelled at me in front of customers "Never EVER tell anyone that I am the boss. Don't be stupid." If I was a customer hearing this, I would think that this business was a front for something more... yunno.
Red flag three: On the weekend, we get plenty of people and are able to make our money goal of 3k but on the weekdays, we don't even make 2k. Apparently, I am responsible for these failures because I am not chasing people around like " BUY OUR FUCKING JACK IN THE BOXES". She is highly unrealistic and snaps at me easily.
Red flag four: She is never there. This is HER business. She owns the building. She owns the business. She leaves me alone as a newbie to do everything and complains when stuff isn't done exactly the way she wants. She goes to yoga 7 days a week. I feel like I am the manager of the store and that I am running the business because I work more than she does.
Red flag five: during the week we get little to no customers. I am not allowed to be on my phone so I brought a book to read when the store is a ghost town. My boss came in and yelled at me for reading and told me that there was plenty to do. I had already organized our display, swept, brought in boxes, and dusted. I did everything and she was still pissed. She really gave me shit about it and I almost cried.
And honestly, I have never cried more about being afraid of getting yelled at. I am terrified of my boss. I know that she isn't a good boss or a good person, as I have seen because she is also not very nice to customers which is probably why our store only gets 2.5 stars. The other morning, I was opening and forgot my store key in my mom's car. I began hysterically crying on the phone to my mom "Grace is going to yell at me! I am going to be in such trouble." I am so fucking stressed and my mind is all over the place because of her. I asked if she could open the store once I arrived, especially because she lives down the road from the store. She came in her rich housewife outfit and huffed and puffed and then called me sloppy. I did get paid, but she has only scheduled me to work for one day this month. I have decided to leave work. I am figuring out when I can officially quit for the sake of my mental health. I need to prepare myself for her insults and battering. Tonight, I felt frustrated with her. It is my day off and all she's doing is complaining to me about how the building was built in 1887 or whatever and that I need to wash the windows. She texted me about twenty times today with these unnecessary remarks. My frustration became so intense that I downloaded Yelp, posed as a person looking for work at my store, and gave it one star, reviewing it by writing that the manager is rude to her customers and her employees. I do not feel bad because the other reviews have similar opinions. I don't feel so alone anymore. I am currently looking for a new summer job as we speak. I feel a little better now. I need to figure out how to tell her that I am quitting. Thanks for reading my rant and sorry that it was so long.

I'm feeling stressed and could use any ol convo to take my mind off things. I'm open to any type of convo long or short, just as long as it's chill.
I'm tall and average built, currently a cook, and have been enjoying making art, music, and baking lately. I also game and like computers and tech stuff. I'm always looking for new hobbies! Id like to get into traveling and working out more next I think.
Whats something that you enjoy doing? How's your day/night going? If you feel like having a random convo send me a message!

So I’m 26 f and I have been with my partner 27m for about 4 years known each other for about 6, we have a daughter together of 4 years, our relationship through out the beginning was amazing, he was very thoughtful and kind towards me, he still is but its less than before and might be burn out from parenting and working ? He had a bad day about two weeks ago so I decided to make him a hand made gift, I ended up making him hand made love notes which took me about 3 hours because I wanted it to look super cute, I gave it to him and he seemed happy with it and I was excited he seemed to love it, he didn’t open the gift right away and that’s understandable, he had just gotten from work and was hungry etc, but two days had passed and he still didn’t bother seeing what I wrote for him, I just left it alone for another day but the third day I noticed he still hadn’t opened it so I asked him if he didn’t like it and he said he did just would open later, so I again left it alone for another day and he still didn’t acknowledge it, so I just spazzed, I asked why he didn’t like it and he totally shrugged it off, that made me feel so sad, I haven’t brought it up again but it is eating me, like does he not love me anymore ? Did what I do seem cringey to him ? Ever since then I have been re evaluating our life together so far and I’m just thinking how low maintenance I am, and I think he is just very used to me, like he can live or live with out me, we have a daughter together and I know she would be sad but I’m just not sure if the feelings are the same as they used to be, it may sound crazy because it all started with a hand made love note to him but it made me kinda open my eyes, pls advise, let me know if there’s anywhere I can go about bringing it up again or how to end things, I’m just not sure and def need help, thank you in advance
Edit: I am not the best at writing, please bear with me, and sorry if my story sounds a little wacky, thank you

I started working last week today. Since the beginning, the job has been a nightmare. I work at a toy store for parents with cash pockets. The kids are really lovely and so are their parents... The prices of all of our products are ungodly expensive. For instance, an LOL doll ball is worth $25 dollars at the store but on Amazon, it's like $7. I was told I would be working alone and that turned out to be true.
First red flag: My boss trained me for a single day and yelled at me after forgetting how to do something I only reviewed twice.
Second red flag: "We are hiring" is a fucking lie and there is definitely something sketchy about this situation. I am a newbie doing my best to go above and beyond. Multiple people have come in inquiring about a job. Since we don't have job applications (technically a third red flag), I just ask for their name and contact info to write on a piece of paper for my boss to look at. I kid you not... about five people had come in last week inquiring. After I took their info they asked what would happen next so I told them that I was new and that someone (didn't specify who) would contact them if they were interested. However, my boss was furious. She told me to never bother her with and I QUOTE "pest-like issues" and to not act so stupid and use my common sense. Like what the actual fuck?! I will gladly take down that hideous sign. On Friday, a boy about my age came in asking if my manager was in because he was there for an interview between 11 and 1 pm. I had no knowledge of this so I checked our work phone and believe it or not, his number showed that they had a 10-minute phone call. This confirmed his statement and 11 to 1 is a concrete time frame. My boss was chatting it up with the FedEx guy when I told her that the guy was there for their scheduled interview. She told me that she never scheduled an interview with anyone. When he introduced himself, she told him to be quiet and leave. Then she yelled at me in front of customers "Never EVER tell anyone that I am the boss. Don't be stupid." If I was a customer hearing this, I would think that this business was a front for something more... yunno.
Red flag three: On the weekend, we get plenty of people and are able to make our money goal of 3k but on the weekdays, we don't even make 2k. Apparently, I am responsible for these failures because I am not chasing people around like " BUY OUR FUCKING JACK IN THE BOXES". She is highly unrealistic and snaps at me easily.
Red flag four: She is never there. This is HER business. She owns the building. She owns the business. She leaves me alone as a newbie to do everything and complains when stuff isn't done exactly the way she wants. She goes to yoga 7 days a week. I feel like I am the manager of the store and that I am running the business because I work more than she does.
Red flag five: during the week we get little to no customers. I am not allowed to be on my phone so I brought a book to read when the store is a ghost town. My boss came in and yelled at me for reading and told me that there was plenty to do. I had already organized our display, swept, brought in boxes, and dusted. I did everything and she was still pissed. She really gave me shit about it and I almost cried.
And honestly, I have never cried more about being afraid of getting yelled at. I am terrified of my boss. I know that she isn't a good boss or a good person, as I have seen because she is also not very nice to customers which is probably why our store only gets 2.5 stars. The other morning, I was opening and forgot my store key in my mom's car. I began hysterically crying on the phone to my mom "Grace is going to yell at me! I am going to be in such trouble." I am so fucking stressed and my mind is all over the place because of her. I asked if she could open the store once I arrived, especially because she lives down the road from the store. She came in her rich housewife outfit and huffed and puffed and then called me sloppy. I did get paid, but she has only scheduled me to work for one day this month. I have decided to leave work. I am figuring out when I can officially quit for the sake of my mental health. I need to prepare myself for her insults and battering. Tonight, I felt frustrated with her. It is my day off and all she's doing is complaining to me about how the building was built in 1887 or whatever and that I need to wash the windows. She texted me about twenty times today with these unnecessary remarks. My frustration became so intense that I downloaded Yelp, posed as a person looking for work at my store, and gave it one star, reviewing it by writing that the manager is rude to her customers and her employees. I do not feel bad because the other reviews have similar opinions. I don't feel so alone anymore. I am currently looking for a new summer job as we speak. I feel a little better now. I need to figure out how to tell her that I am quitting. Thanks for reading my rant and sorry that it was so long.

I started working last week today. Since the beginning, the job has been a nightmare. I work at a toy store for parents with cash pockets. The kids are really lovely and so are their parents... The prices of all of our products are ungodly expensive. For instance, an LOL doll ball is worth $25 dollars at the store but on Amazon, it's like $7. I was told I would be working alone and that turned out to be true.
First red flag: My boss trained me for a single day and yelled at me after forgetting how to do something I only reviewed twice.
Second red flag: "We are hiring" is a fucking lie and there is definitely something sketchy about this situation. I am a newbie doing my best to go above and beyond. Multiple people have come in inquiring about a job. Since we don't have job applications (technically a third red flag), I just ask for their name and contact info to write on a piece of paper for my boss to look at. I kid you not... about five people had come in last week inquiring. After I took their info they asked what would happen next so I told them that I was new and that someone (didn't specify who) would contact them if they were interested. However, my boss was furious. She told me to never bother her with and I QUOTE "pest-like issues" and to not act so stupid and use my common sense. Like what the actual fuck?! I will gladly take down that hideous sign. On Friday, a boy about my age came in asking if my manager was in because he was there for an interview between 11 and 1 pm. I had no knowledge of this so I checked our work phone and believe it or not, his number showed that they had a 10-minute phone call. This confirmed his statement and 11 to 1 is a concrete time frame. My boss was chatting it up with the FedEx guy when I told her that the guy was there for their scheduled interview. She told me that she never scheduled an interview with anyone. When he introduced himself, she told him to be quiet and leave. Then she yelled at me in front of customers "Never EVER tell anyone that I am the boss. Don't be stupid." If I was a customer hearing this, I would think that this business was a front for something more... yunno.
Red flag three: On the weekend, we get plenty of people and are able to make our money goal of 3k but on the weekdays, we don't even make 2k. Apparently, I am responsible for these failures because I am not chasing people around like " BUY OUR FUCKING JACK IN THE BOXES". She is highly unrealistic and snaps at me easily.
Red flag four: She is never there. This is HER business. She owns the building. She owns the business. She leaves me alone as a newbie to do everything and complains when stuff isn't done exactly the way she wants. She goes to yoga 7 days a week. I feel like I am the manager of the store and that I am running the business because I work more than she does.
Red flag five: during the week we get little to no customers. I am not allowed to be on my phone so I brought a book to read when the store is a ghost town. My boss came in and yelled at me for reading and told me that there was plenty to do. I had already organized our display, swept, brought in boxes, and dusted. I did everything and she was still pissed. She really gave me shit about it and I almost cried.
And honestly, I have never cried more about being afraid of getting yelled at. I am terrified of my boss. I know that she isn't a good boss or a good person, as I have seen because she is also not very nice to customers which is probably why our store only gets 2.5 stars. The other morning, I was opening and forgot my store key in my mom's car. I began hysterically crying on the phone to my mom "Grace is going to yell at me! I am going to be in such trouble." I am so fucking stressed and my mind is all over the place because of her. I asked if she could open the store once I arrived, especially because she lives down the road from the store. She came in her rich housewife outfit and huffed and puffed and then called me sloppy. I did get paid, but she has only scheduled me to work for one day this month. I have decided to leave work. I am figuring out when I can officially quit for the sake of my mental health. I need to prepare myself for her insults and battering. Tonight, I felt frustrated with her. It is my day off and all she's doing is complaining to me about how the building was built in 1887 or whatever and that I need to wash the windows. She texted me about twenty times today with these unnecessary remarks. My frustration became so intense that I downloaded Yelp, posed as a person looking for work at my store, and gave it one star, reviewing it by writing that the manager is rude to her customers and her employees. I do not feel bad because the other reviews have similar opinions. I don't feel so alone anymore. I am currently looking for a new summer job as we speak. I feel a little better now. I need to figure out how to tell her that I am quitting. Thanks for reading my rant and sorry that it was so long.

Hi guys. First of all, I'm really sorry if I misspell something, english is not my first language.
Last night, I was sleeping and having a "normal" dream until something else invaded that dream. A door or portal (I'm not sure) started forming in the air right in front of me. I became very curious and as I approached, the door opened, revealing a huge, dark, and cold corridor. It was dark, and there was a spiritual aura in that corridor that frightened me. Just as I was about to give up on entering it, I felt a hand on my shoulder. When that hand touched my shoulder, I shrunk down and started crawling on the ground (I think I transformed into a snake), and that somehow made me feel safe enough to pass through the corridor.
Inside the corridor, there were many doors, and I could see glimpses of light and images through the cracks. These seemed like memories. I could hear various sounds coming from the doors, voices conversing, laughter... But I didn't want to enter any of those doors, despite my curiosity. I stopped at the end of the corridor when the last door in front of me opened, and I entered it, and then I started watching a new dream, and I'm pretty sure it was my past life - all of the sensations were TOO VIVID and I can even remember smells, writings on banners, and too many details that I wouldn't remember if it was just a weird dream.
After I entered the door, it seemed like I "returned" to being human and started witnessing several memories of a past life, but they were scrambled and out of order.
The first memory that came to mind was when I was wearing red lipstick, a long dress that didn't seem to belong to this era, and I was smoking a thing that looked like a thin stick, like, it wasn't a common cigarette. I appeared to be young but trying to portray a mature woman. I remember I was scared, not wanting to be recognized. I was on the rooftop of a condominium or hotel (I'm not sure) waiting for my mama, and a very confident, charming, and polite man with a mustache and a suit became interested in me, he was watching me from a distance. He started talking to me, I remember I was trying to be seductive and wanted to look like I was bored, but he made me smile and laugh, and that sensation was weird, it was like I haven't laughed in a while, it felt like relief. Even when I rejected him and tried to be rude, he didn't give up the interest in me, he laughed and seemed to like me even more.
The second memory was of when I was a little girl, wearing a standout red cardigan, living in a village with lots of snow. I would walk home following a train line that was still being constructed I guess, and the men in that village would fish in a large lake, that would freeze in the winter. The houses were small, there were no tall buildings, and the only vegetation was like a tundra. [When I talked to my best friend about this part of the dream, we researched similar places to this one that I dreamed, and after some time we found pictures of places in Russia that seemed veeeeeery similar to this place, specially a city called "Murmansk". I didn't even know this city even existed and never heard of that place in my life, I'M A BRAZILIAN].
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The third memory I had was when I was a slightly older girl, but it was before the first memory, I think here I was what, 13? 16? I'm not sure. I had long, brown hair and wore a white dress with ruffled edges that went down to my calves, like girls would wear in ancient times, around 1910/1920. I lived in a house that looked like a mansion, with brick roofs and a large estate that included a grove and a fountain. I remember the memory starting with me arriving from the sky, perhaps by a small airplane or helicopter (??) or some other aerial vehicle (?? i really don't know). I was truly wealthy, with one or two servants waiting for me, and my father was a wealthy man who loved me dearly. I was his darling. He seemed to be a professor at a university or something similar, he was a man of knowledge. I remember hearing people calling me... "Masha," "Masha". I was really happy and lived a good life around that time, I remember feeling like everything was right. [When I told my best friend about that, she enlightened me that Masha is a Russian name and that it was actually a nickname for Maria. And I didn't even know Maria was a Russian name, since it's pretty common here in Latin America too. I was mesmerized. Still am.]
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The fourth memory is precisely with my father. I remember being in some place underground, like a mine or a metro (I remember it had a train line and some trolleys) and oddly enough, that's where I studied, alongside other young people, some girls and mostly young men. I studied in a laboratory with my father's support, but what I was doing seemed to be illegal, I don't know. I think it was not allowed for me to study. I apparently had a fiancé, a blond, white man, and he was really wealthy. I loved him at first, but something involving sex happened, I'm not sure. It was after this "sexual encounter" that I completely lost interest in him, I felt disgusted by him and only wanted to know about studying, I didn't want to be his wife. I reall can't remember how, but in the end I avoided marrying him. That's when everything seemed to start going wrong, but I don't know how either.
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The fifth memory is of my engagement party with the charming mustached man I met in the first memory. I truly loved him and was very, very happy, oh my god, I can't even describe. We were celebrating our engagement in a place that looked like a small dinebar and I remember the smell of strong perfum, food that involves garlic and sweat (but I didn't find it disgusting, it was hot inside while it was really cold outside, as always. I remember I was so happy I was ecstatic). I remember having diverse guests, some people who seemed to be on the margins of society, like black people, homosexual people, etc. They were all my friends, dear people to me. I remember reaching the back of the diner and seeing my mother wearing a fur coat and a pearl necklace, dressed in 1920s attire, all elegant compared to the rest of us, who were not simple but not so wealthy looking. She was crying because my father had already passed away and because she had no money for anything. She was devastated, and that saddened me deeply, cause I missed her and I missed the feeling of not being the mother to my own mother. I was a 100% certain she would use the money I gave her to buy alcohol since she had become an alcoholic by that point. She smiled at that moment (that was the only time she smiled the entire night) and left through the back with a friend. I remember that impacted me very much, and my fiancé comforted me.
The sixth memory is strange. I was much poorer, living in a very simple cottage with my mother and the man who had become my husband. I remember being in the bedroom with my husband, being... Y'know... intimate, and the sensations felt really real. And my mother was clueless and quite intrusive. She entered the room without knocking or giving any warning, and it was a very embarrassing moment, I remember losing my temper with her and almost yelling that she couldn't do that kind of thing. Then, I remember putting on my clothes, a long-sleeved dress that went down to my calves and was straight, and brown boots. I was skinny and lived in a village with some trees and wooden houses. I recall being a teacher at a school for homosexual boys, I was protecting them from the law, trying to teach tem how to survive while everybody thought they were there to be "reformed". My husband knew everything and was very supportive. Then there was this day when a really strict general entered the school, I already knew him from before. He was there again, wanting to see if the boys were "reformed," and I had to quickly warn the boys to maintain their composure. I remember the general wearing black leather clothes, an imposing hat/beret, and I was so afraid of him that my legs trembled and despite me being a rebel at that point of my life, I was scared like a chicken. I felt like he knew I was lying, like he caught me but acted cool, and I remember thinking that my life was in danger. [Later, when talking to my best friend, I realized that the way he dressed and his behavior reminded me a little too much of a nazi general/soldier. I'm not sure, but this could be it].
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The last memory I recall is visiting my husband in prison during winter when there was A LOT of wind and snow. I was wearing a dress, boots, and a warm brown coat, with two pigtails on each side of my head, like "Mary Jane" style. I had a heavy heart as I entered a dark and gray corridor, searching for my husband in the cells until I found him. He was shirtless, barefoot, wearing only gray sweatpants, lying on a stone bench, and he was very strong. I remember being horrified and screaming in despair with all the strenght I had in my lungs, "They're going to kill him! He will die of cold! Cover him up right now!". It was truly horrifying to me, specially because the reason he was there wasn't fair, he didn't do anything wrong, in fact he was fighting for what was right (I don't know what it was, but I remember I kept repeating this inside my mind, like, talking to myself, so revolted for all of this situation, as if it all wasn't fair at all). I recall another man, I'm not sure if he was a corrupt prison guard or a fellow inmate who had been released, gave me the key, and I managed to open the cell where my husband was. It seems like it was planned but I didn't know, we escaped and started running. I remember running through the emergency exit, the fire stairs, and the alarm was triggered. Men in uniforms came running after us with weapons in their hands. I remember almost losing my husband of sight because he was trying to close the door so we could win time, but I waited for him until the end, and we were going downstairs, jumping the stairs. In the end, I only remember that by some miracle, we managed to escape and reached an abandoned wooden cottage where he got dressed, and there was hot soup prepared by his sister, who provided us shelter, but I don't think we had a 'plan B' to get out of there and move on. We had nowhere to go, I guess, but I'm not sure. I just remember being tired, running, the sensation of my heart pulsing so fast I could feel it in my head. I was determined to save my husband.
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That's the last memory I have. After that, I don't remember anything else, but I woke up with a sense that our story ended badly. I remember I could'nt stop crying. And I know it all sounds too much of a fanfic but I swear I'm not lying, I swear to god - my boyfriend texted me that morning when I was talking to my best friend about this weird dream, and told me he dreamt that he was a doctor and lived in Russia with me. When I started talking to Erica (my best friend) about it, he was still sleeping.
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I'm certain it wasn't just some hallucination, it was a past life memory. I just don't understand, why would the universe/god/whatever's up there make me remember this life? Because it wasn't a hypnotherapy, I wasn't meditating, I was SLEEPING. It happend involuntarily. What do they want to tell me? Why couldn't I see how I died, was it too traumatizing? Who was Masha/Maria? Who was her father, what was the name of my husband? Will I ever know? I'm just so, so curious. I want to know more.
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What do you guys think of this all? What should I do? I'd like to go to a hypnotherapy session but I'm so afraid of, Idk, feeling pain, or seeing how I died and ending up more terrified than I already am of death. I really don't know. But I want to know who Masha/Maria was, what was her last name, if she really existed... I just need to know it was real.

Ok so basic story goes is that I haven't had a haircut in awhile (family doesn't have alot of money right now and I hate asking for things)
I was just about to get to bed when my headphones snagged onto my hair, I started to panic and one thing led to another and.. I think you can guess what happened.
Long story short they snapped in half and one of the wires got ripped and it isn't fixable
Now I have to use this horrible and annoying ones, I prefer the headphones that cover your whole head and not the ones that you stick into your ears
I'm VERY pissed because I have a job shadow where I have to go to an autonomy shops, I can't stand loud noises and now I'm shit outta luck apparently, those were basically ehat kept me from being overstimulated
I don't know how long its gonna be until I can get a new pair of them
I'm just angry in general
Any of yall got some advice on what I can do I REEEAAALLLYY need it.

I feel like some roles like doomsayer, prosecutor, etc. should be able to open their abilities and have choices ready before the ability is usable.
For doomsayer, looking through chat to see who claimed what, finding the roles on the wheel, and locking in your choices all within 30 seconds feels impossible. I'd love to be able to have it ready by nighttime so I can spend my night double checking my options and not rushing to get everything in at the last second.
For roles like prosecutor and deputy, sometimes you want to have your target selected quickly so you can use your ability before you get instantly voted up by evil majority or have town up someone else too quickly. Haven't had this happen to me yet but it seems like it would be very frustrating to play around.

I started working last week today. Since the beginning, the job has been a nightmare. I work at a toy store for parents with cash pockets. The kids are really lovely and so are their parents... The prices of all of our products are ungodly expensive. For instance, an LOL doll ball is worth $25 dollars at the store but on Amazon, it's like $7. I was told I would be working alone and that turned out to be true.
First red flag: My boss trained me for a single day and yelled at me after forgetting how to do something I only reviewed twice.
Second red flag: "We are hiring" is a fucking lie and there is definitely something sketchy about this situation. I am a newbie doing my best to go above and beyond. Multiple people have come in inquiring about a job. Since we don't have job applications (technically a third red flag), I just ask for their name and contact info to write on a piece of paper for my boss to look at. I kid you not... about five people had come in last week inquiring. After I took their info they asked what would happen next so I told them that I was new and that someone (didn't specify who) would contact them if they were interested. However, my boss was furious. She told me to never bother her with and I QUOTE "pest-like issues" and to not act so stupid and use my common sense. Like what the actual fuck?! I will gladly take down that hideous sign. On Friday, a boy about my age came in asking if my manager was in because he was there for an interview between 11 and 1 pm. I had no knowledge of this so I checked our work phone and believe it or not, his number showed that they had a 10-minute phone call. This confirmed his statement and 11 to 1 is a concrete time frame. My boss was chatting it up with the FedEx guy when I told her that the guy was there for their scheduled interview. She told me that she never scheduled an interview with anyone. When he introduced himself, she told him to be quiet and leave. Then she yelled at me in front of customers "Never EVER tell anyone that I am the boss. Don't be stupid." If I was a customer hearing this, I would think that this business was a front for something more... yunno.
Red flag three: On the weekend, we get plenty of people and are able to make our money goal of 3k but on the weekdays, we don't even make 2k. Apparently, I am responsible for these failures because I am not chasing people around like " BUY OUR FUCKING JACK IN THE BOXES". She is highly unrealistic and snaps at me easily.
Red flag four: She is never there. This is HER business. She owns the building. She owns the business. She leaves me alone as a newbie to do everything and complains when stuff isn't done exactly the way she wants. She goes to yoga 7 days a week. I feel like I am the manager of the store and that I am running the business because I work more than she does.
Red flag five: during the week we get little to no customers. I am not allowed to be on my phone so I brought a book to read when the store is a ghost town. My boss came in and yelled at me for reading and told me that there was plenty to do. I had already organized our display, swept, brought in boxes, and dusted. I did everything and she was still pissed. She really gave me shit about it and I almost cried.
And honestly, I have never cried more about being afraid of getting yelled at. I am terrified of my boss. I know that she isn't a good boss or a good person, as I have seen because she is also not very nice to customers which is probably why our store only gets 2.5 stars. The other morning, I was opening and forgot my store key in my mom's car. I began hysterically crying on the phone to my mom "Grace is going to yell at me! I am going to be in such trouble." I am so fucking stressed and my mind is all over the place because of her. I asked if she could open the store once I arrived, especially because she lives down the road from the store. She came in her rich housewife outfit and huffed and puffed and then called me sloppy. I did get paid, but she has only scheduled me to work for one day this month. I have decided to leave work. I am figuring out when I can officially quit for the sake of my mental health. I need to prepare myself for her insults and battering. Tonight, I felt frustrated with her. It is my day off and all she's doing is complaining to me about how the building was built in 1887 or whatever and that I need to wash the windows. She texted me about twenty times today with these unnecessary remarks. My frustration became so intense that I downloaded Yelp, posed as a person looking for work at my store, and gave it one star, reviewing it by writing that the manager is rude to her customers and her employees. I do not feel bad because the other reviews have similar opinions. I don't feel so alone anymore. I am currently looking for a new summer job as we speak. I feel a little better now. I need to figure out how to tell her that I am quitting. Thanks for reading my rant and sorry that it was so long.

Host’s Name: [ Mr. Man.]
TTRPG platform: [Starfinder]
Age Rating: [18+]
Mature Content: [There will multiple uncomfortable story devices that will be used, we ask that if you're applying that you have a open mind.]
Beginner friendly: [Yes, we encourage learning.]
Requirements:[Just discord and the use of the internet. ]
Time and Date: [ This will start usually around 5-7 pm pst]
Homebrewed Character Creation Allowed: [No]
Homebrewed World/Monsters: [Yes]
Character Level: [To be decided.]
Run Time: [6 hours for a long term campaign.] [Looking for 5 players, maybe more.]
[Story] The Pactworlds faces a strange mystery as multiple ships were obliterated by Divine Fire. Most think this is a simple attack but there are those that claim a dark omen has been seen. Unfortunately for you, you were on one of these vessels. Crash landing on Castrovel, you must uncover the mystery of why this has come to pass. A adventure that will take you not only through the pact worlds but a whole host of different systems, to uncover a dark plot that has been set in motion by a strange event that will lead you against a threat the galaxy was not prepared for. Fans of Pathfinder and Starfinder lore well be greatly awarded with facts and story related to the universe created by Paizo but also featuring some gods and lore seen in Dnd's universe Even to those new to the system or the lore the story offers a great start in a universe filled with so much to do. This is technically canon to a few other games I've ran, but that's part of the mystery to unpack. This is the beginning of a whole new adventure for those brave enough to face an oncoming darkness.
Please Dm me for further information!

Okay so I have a drug test tomorrow morning at a job agency that I showed up to, for a little background before I’m called an idiot I got out of the marine corps about 2 months ago and moved back in with my mom unfortunately, now since I’ve been out I’ve had a very tough time looking for a job I went to two job agencies and was told “we don’t have jobs available right now blah blah blah” so this was the third job agency I went to after countless emails from a bunch of different mechanic shops and blue collar jobs that weren’t interested in the least so I walked into a different job agency I never heard of just yesterday and I went in expecting to hear “sorry no jobs brown veteran dude” so I kept my hopes really really low, until they said “hey we have a valve technician spot available that pays 20 an hour only 20 minutes from here” I was shocked and wasn’t really excited because my mind immediately went to “shit I just smoked the day before what the fuck”, they told me theyll call me to come back either Monday or Tuesday next week so I thought “cool I’ll go get a five day detox kit and try to clear my system” well that turned out to be a waste of almost 50 bucks I don’t have plus an extra 20 for a masking drink I bought for the day of the test just in case, it was a waste cause they called me this morning saying “hey great news we’ll just have you come in tomorrow and we’ll drug test you then and you’ll start work Monday.” SHIT I bought two drug tests and ANOTHER masking drink just to see if it’ll work saving the other one for tomorrow, It very much did not work. So I opted for the next best option, went to a smoke shop and asked for fake piss dude behind the counter was really cool (somehow learned he was in the process to get shipped to Paris island so we talked a bit) and offered me an apparently really good brand called serious monkey bizzness with the monkey flask, I looked it up just now and apparently it’s a pretty trusted brand, has anyone used it before? Can you help ease my mind because I’m scared shitless I need this job and didn’t expect it to fall on my lap THIS fast. Is this a suitable and liable brand of fake piss to use and will I pass? If anyone knows please let me know as soon as possible, if I take the test before I get an answer I’ll let you know my results. Thanks. (Also do they do hair follicle drug test for jobs out here in Texas? Cause if so I’m totally fucked)

Hey everyone, been struggling with gender for a number of years and I'm pretty sure I know the answer but I think I'm just super deep in denial and looking for validation/anyone who might have had a similar experience? I'm mid-20's AMAB and I started more thoroughly questioning my gender back around early 2019. Since then, I've been having these on and off periods of thinking I was trans vs thinking I was not that would last a couple months or so (I think now I just kinda chalk it up to how much dysphoria I was feeling?). Growing up and before I started seriously questioning my gender, the notion of being a girl was definitely something I had never really let go of (but I didn't really think all too much about being trans until recently) and I would frequently daydream about turning into a girl and all that.
When I started questioning my gender, I was mostly doing things like trying on sports bras and stuffing, using faceapp filters, etc. I also tried out using she/her pronouns and a different name with my friend group at least a couple of different times, along with things like wigs and breast forms, both of which I had a reasonably not cis gendered reaction to. When I tried all of these things, I got a fair amount of euphoria, but eventually the feelings would fade enough for me to go back to feeling more masc. Honestly, this paragraph is pretty telling to me but whenever the feelings faded I felt comfortable enough in my own body to ignore everything I tried.
And that's the part where I think I'm struggling? I would shift back to feeling not trans, to a point where I felt comfortable enough that I didn't really feel the need to identify as trans, and for a while, I had sort of made peace with the fact that I would routinely flip back and forth between feeling trans and not feeling trans. This has ultimately lead to a LOT of frustration as I every time I stopped feeling dysphoria I thought it wasn't going to come back and that I would be able to deal with it if the dysphoria did come back. Predictably, I was wrong, and each time the feelings of dysphoria came back it somehow felt more intense/worse to the point I am not wondering if the opposite could be said about my earlier reasoning (where I felt comfortable enough with my body to not transition when I wasn't having as much dysphoria): if I am feeling worse enough about my body to need to transition when I am experiencing dysphoria.
Essentially, I've been putting off actually addressing the problem because the feelings would eventually go away and when they did return I felt frustrated, confused, scared, and tired of going through all of it.
I think I'm just wondering if this is similar to what other people have experienced, if I'm just in denial, and I'm not really sure what I can do/what to do next?

So I've been lurking this subreddit for sometime now, Reading other's stories and how much they've been through. Due to their courage I always felt like posting/unloading my own troubles here too, But everytime I was about to click send I regretted it.
Today however I finally feel like I should just go through with posting and get this all off my chest, Or atleast write it down to help the process.
TW: Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Gaslighting, Neglect, Suicide mentions, Among other things The following is a "relatively brief" recap of my situation, In which i'll go over pretty several situations and types of abuse i've been through, So keep that in mind before reading. With that here I go....
I was born In what in the US and lives there till about I was 10. I lived with my mom and dad as an only child in a classic American style suburb. Life was great as a kid, Atleast the being a kid part was, Y'know, School, Friends, Hangouts and sleepovers. I had it all in that sense, But then one day while dad was out working, Mom opened the door to a guy I never saw before, Little did I know that this "guy" would be a key player in everything that would follow. For the sake of this retelling of events we'll call him "Carlos".
Now even before that day mom was no saint, She was overly agressive when punishing me, She'd play with my feeling, etc; but this is when everything took a turn for the worst. Carlos came in and said "Is that your son? I thought you'd ve alone.-something something" I don't fully remember what he said since it's been so long but he was shocked to see me and almost left then and there, Mom comforted him back in and lead the man into her room, She then grabbed my arm so tightly and threw me outside on the front lawn to quote on quote "play" while she "Catched up" with her old friend Carlos.
After I came home later in the afternoon mom I saw that Carlos was gone and that our livingroom table was broken. After a bit of discussion on what happened She started to beat me senseless with her closed and ring-wearing fist until I promised that when dad came home I'd: not tell him about Carlos and that I'd say that I broke the table with my toys?, I don't know how she thought dad would think a 6 year old boy would leave a noticable crack in a high-quality wooden table was possible with some transformers toys and a toy lightsaber but hey, She was the adult then.
After this event Mom would have a cycle where first she do some sketchy shit like bring in a guy, Sell dad's stuff or straight up abandon the house with me alone to go on a shopping spree, Then she'd buy me anything I wanted to keep it a secret and she'd seal the deal with... a pink promise... a fucking pinky promise. Oh but the icing on the cake is that she learned from her previous mistake and now, everytime she'd do this, She would first tie me to the bed in her room, close all the window blinders, Take out the lightbulb and disconnect everything that could produce light and/or sound in the room and LOCK ME IN FOR HOURS AT A TIME. She then moved her lover for the day encounters to the guest room and I could always hear her, I would hear her say that I was out at school, A friends house or playing somewhere in the neighborhood. Then I'd hear her moan or laugh and drink dad's expensive wines from his cabinet.
While in the coined by her "Nap time game" I had certain things to abide by.
-If I made sound, she'd come in to beat me
-If I moved too much, she'd come in to beat me
-If by the time she'd open the door I was either: Out of the restraints or had pissed on myself in the timeframe I was locked in place, You could guess what happened.
Outside of this she'd beat me regularly, Cuss me out for no reason, Force me to study and get perfect grades, Not allow me to hangout with certain friends due to once again, In her words "Not liking their people, they're bad people", Lock me outside, Leave me at family member's houses to be a sort of punching bag for them and only recently while talking with my psychologist have I unlocked a dormant memory of her forcing me to lay on her naked body under her shirt and suck on her nipples "like a baby".
Now you may be wondering what my dad was doing during all of this, That's where mom's manipulative prowess came into play, She'd play the victim, She'd downplay the situation, She would start arguments and even hit him as to distract him from the main point, me. My dad eventually filed for divorce but despite the piles of evidence against her, the court decided for me to be in my mother's custody with weekends to my father.
This was the beginning of the worst part of it all, Without dad around, Everything mom would do previously increased tenfold and got even worse, Cigarette burns on my lower back and behind my ears, More brutal beatings, Neglecting me for DAYS on end, etc. After a second attempt to gain custody from my dad. My mom accused him of some heavy and fake charges of assault and attempted murder which as a result made the State deport my dad to his homecountry, by this time I was around 9.
Now, completely alone, Mom and I would move around constantly and at one point we'd live where the rest of ber twisted fucking family lives. They all took turns doing shit to me, Stuff my brain seems to have forgot, My cousins, aunts and uncles saw me as their little toy. And although I was never penetrated nor had any sort of direct contact with any man's genitals, there was more abuse on that front.
Now a year later and age ten, My mind finally realized the weight of everything that occured to me and I grew insanely depressed and anxious. I also grew obese due to my mom only feeding me fast food everyday, several times a day. I was at the edge then, And I got to the point of contemplating suicide by dropping off a bridge nearby as I had seen a news report about someone doing just that.
Around December mom, In a rare showing of maturity decided to let me travel to go see my father for the holidays in his country, with the strict condition i'd come back to her. I went on this trip and had a sense of love from dsd and his side if the family I hadn't felt for so long. On the second to last day sitting on an iron bench at the town's main plaza I begged my father not to let me leave back to mom, I wanted to stay with him and live peacefully with him. My father clearly saw this coming and as such prepared for the worst, He got a court appeal against my mom that essentially kept me from leaving the country till either my mother came into the country's jurisdiction or until i was 18.
Life these past 10 years in this new country has been rough, most of it was adapting to the culture, and going through 11 different psychologist and 3 different pharmaceutical agents. I lost out alot on the social factor till i was 16, before then people who knew me during that period referred to me as "a living husk" or "dead inside", I really was, I felt like my whole life i was hopeless and always out of control if the events of my life, As if a childe could have any say in those kinds of things. In the end my offical diagnosis was clinical depression and PTSD which my last psychologist would often use the term C-PTSD to describe it, which is partly why I came to this sub in the first place.
During my recovery process I was still able to befriend alot of people, But outside of my main group of four friends i don't really care about anyone else. I even got a girlfriend when I was 17, She was great but part if me felt like I just wasn't capable of feeling love or that I deserved love, Which made me break with her 9 months into the relationship.
Nowadays I'm no longer depressed but there are times where I feel as if i'm some kind of soldier without a war (not in a cool way at all), Like as if my mind and body are bracing for the worst but that's not necessary anymore, I'm no longer "bleeding from a fresh wound" so to speak, but boy do the scars left behind sting on days like today.
There's alot more I could talk about but i feel like this is already quite long and I could honestly write a full book with everything i've seen and been through, Anyways if you made it this far, Thank you... This little vent has provided a small bit of catharisis for me.
For every and anyone that is in/ has been in a similar situation, It get's better, You're stronger than you'll ever realize and remember to put yourself as your main priority, Don't let others insert themselves as the center of your world.

I've had a laundry list of spine issues including AnkylosingSpondylitis, Adult Degenerative Scoliosis, every disk is bulging, other words i forget now, plus fibromyalgia, pectus carinatum, chronic migraine and they think hEDS (I meet all criteria but the doctorsaidno blood test to prove. DUH), positive ANA, then negative, pcp tested several times for Lyme's. Symptoms of MS, lots of overlapping bs.Torn labrum in hip, torn rotator cuff, etc. Not everything sorted, not a whole lot of hope today.
Now, the problem this week is there is a pain so awful to the L of T spine and a bit lower than top of shoulder. It is SO intense it stops me in my tracks and I have to stop talking, catch my breath and just.. OMG! I play it off, as best I can.
That area of my back, L of thoracic spine, above where bra strap is, up across shoulder, down ribs has always been like my fibro area. Tingly, numb - I use a topical and it would help. Lately, not so much.
Now this pain grabbing n stopping me is new, a week or so ig. I noticed last night there's open wound on neck, like C7-T1, which is ALWAYS nerve sensitive, so RARELY touched.
The wound looks like brush burn n I actually had a similar one elsewhere about 6 weeks ago. I asked if severe nerve pain inside can cause a sore outside the skin. I was told no. But this is the 2nd time...
I get no pain med. I can't take Gabapentin, Lyrica or Cymbalta, have tried all several times over the years and Gaba tears up my stomach and swells up my legs, Lyrica makes me crazy dizzy/loopy/off at 75mg 3x/day, we recently tried 10mg 2x/day. It just knocks me out! No pain relief. Cymbalta doesn't work with my DNA, had swab done for mh meds.
So rn I can't stand even the lightweight tee I'm wearing touching my skin. I'm getting zaps n zings n I've been through a LOT of pain and am pretty tough. I've NEVER had anything this bad.
I have MMJ, it will knock me out n that's fine for tonight, but I'm hoping someone has experience to share, a website to direct me to. SOMETHING. I did a search for naturals, but I'm hoping y'all may have some thoughts.
I'm not even sure if I should call PCP, Neurologist, Neurosurgeon... I can't drive any more 3 levels of neck surgically fused, 2 fused on their own. So I doubt I can get to a doc or ER tomorrow.
ANY suggestions, are greatly appreciated!!