Difference between tractor and reefer fuel


2018.08.16 23:49 boxnumber10053 potion.live

Potion is named after its rigorously developed formula designed to heal and sustain. Potion's formula is a result of 3 years of focused research and testing towards one question: What is the healthiest 1500 calorie, ketogenic, macro/micronutrient covering drink?

2012.11.13 11:19 MichiganMan2 geothermal

A reddit focused on geothermal energy and geothermal electricity. All civil discussions aren't just welcome but wanted.

2015.06.11 01:02 MBen7 Crossfit Hate

Jacked & Tan

2023.06.02 07:06 GroundbreakingAd6288 [F4M] Black Clover Romance!

Hi! I'm sorry if my post isn't as nice looking at the others, but I hope you like my idea! I enjoy world/story building and Black Clover! I'm looking for someone to be either Fuegoleon or Nozel to go along with an OC of mine. Since they're side characters, we basically have to build our own story anyway!
While away on a mission, he finds a strange looking woman battered and all alone. He gets a strange feeling that he can't leave her there.
Some type of arranged marriage with Fuegoleon or Nozel to help strengthen the bond with another kingdom.
Those are 2 ideas that I have, but I prefer we build a plot together!
I'm looking for a longterm roleplay partner who is literate, 3rd person, and detailed. I usually match my partners length. I'm fine with doubling so we can both get someone we want. I need my partner and all characters to be 18+ since this roleplay will get explicit at times, but thats not the focus. I prefer a mix of romance/slice of life/action to keep it interesting but this main focus is probably romance. I'm happy to discuss any and all other aspects with you! We can go along with the anime or make something completely new. The romance between them will be kind of a slowburn. I'd like for us to build a world we're both happy with. You need to have discord.
I have about 8 years of roleplay experience (back when IG and kik were really popular so starting in 2012) and am trying to return to it. I'm 23F and my timezone is +1 CST but I'm fine with any time difference. I'm a SAHM so I understand life gets busy and you can't respond all day. Just also let me know ahead of time if you'll be unavailable for an extended period of time. Feel free to dm me!
submitted by GroundbreakingAd6288 to Roleplay [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:05 GroundbreakingAd6288 [F4M]Black Clover Romance!

Hi! I'm sorry if my post isn't as nice looking at the others, but I hope you like my idea! I enjoy world/story building and Black Clover! I'm looking for someone to be either Fuegoleon or Nozel to go along with an OC of mine. Since they're side characters, we basically have to build our own story anyway!
While away on a mission, he finds a strange looking woman battered and all alone. He gets a strange feeling that he can't leave her there.
Some type of arranged marriage with Fuegoleon or Nozel to help strengthen the bond with another kingdom.
Those are 2 ideas that I have, but I prefer we build a plot together!
I'm looking for a longterm roleplay partner who is literate, 3rd person, and detailed. I usually match my partners length. I'm fine with doubling so we can both get someone we want. I need my partner and all characters to be 18+ since this roleplay will get explicit at times, but thats not the focus. I prefer a mix of romance/slice of life/action to keep it interesting but this main focus is probably romance. I'm happy to discuss any and all other aspects with you! We can go along with the anime or make something completely new. The romance between them will be kind of a slowburn. I'd like for us to build a world we're both happy with. You need to have discord.
I have about 8 years of roleplay experience (back when IG and kik were really popular so starting in 2012) and am trying to return to it. I'm 23F and my timezone is +1 CST but I'm fine with any time difference. I'm a SAHM so I understand life gets busy and you can't respond all day. Just also let me know ahead of time if you'll be unavailable for an extended period of time. Feel free to dm me!
submitted by GroundbreakingAd6288 to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:05 NiotaBunny A hypothetical legal situation inspired by seasonal allergies

Suppose someone has seasonal allergies that are so bad it interferes with their work. They're within arm's reach of a box of kleenex every thirty seconds (which also requires them to be by a trash can every five minutes), or they have so much mucus you'd think something in their nose burst. Their eyes are all bloodshot and their ears itch like crazy, and they sneeze like a cannon, sometimes in rapid fire. Each week or two, they have tried a different allergy medication, but their immune system quickly causes each medication to be ignored by their bodies, and they have run out of ideas. They know this experience all too well from high school, as it almost cost them their grades to constantly be distracted by a need to wipe their nose, but now they're an adult in the workforce.
So then, hypothetically, in legal theory (and in a world where not only would a lot of "annoyance" based conditions be considered disability but where the local governments probably played a role in the cottonwood tree planting, though that raises questions because it means each town would be different), what are the logistics this could count as disability? As in the kind you might get an income for? I've seen people with allergies that make me question where you would draw the line between "what you go through is a fact of life" versus "alright, go home, I can't expect you to do this with what you suffer from".
submitted by NiotaBunny to legaladviceofftopic [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:04 Glass_Lobster9770 Recommendations

Hey Team,
Hope this post finds you all well. I own a section in New Zealand that is just over half an acre or 2400 square meters in size. Currently, with line trimming and push mowing with catcher, this is a full day's work for me and to be honest really hard to keep up with. For some time now I've been pondering a ride on. There are some trees and stumps in the section for context. I'd still be looking to keep my push mower to do the tight corners and hard-to-access parts of the section.
I catch it all now as the mulching function on the current mower I own isn't the greatest.
It's mostly flat with a small slope at one end. I've been starting to have a look online its kind of a minefield of different options as far as mowers go. I guess my questions are:
- What am I best to look at based on my situation, zero turn or tractor style?
- Based on current timings what would each of the above options save in time roughly?
I'd be happy to spend a bit more if one was significantly faster than the next or was going to give a significantly better finish.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by Glass_Lobster9770 to lawnmowers [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:03 DetectiveWonderful42 What’s the best strain to micro dose with?

I know a cube is a cube but I honestly can tell some slight differences between strains. I have currently in my collection : Storm trooper , albino golden teachers , el choco, yak, and APE’s. Wondering if anyone has any info on best option for a daily or bi-daily micro dose. Thank you.
submitted by DetectiveWonderful42 to shrooms [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:02 SinfulAbsorption Best RAM For Gaming in USA Available on Amazon

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submitted by SinfulAbsorption to markforcart [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:02 Ray2207 Crew motorfest some basic features

We are slowly getting our hands on motorfest. Here are some basic things/changes I noticed.
  1. Respawn has been changed to rewind similar to forza horizon series. Great change as respawn had a huge disadvantage in crew 2.
  2. There is no nitrous in F1. Thank God they finally did this. And there is a functioning pit stop and you will need to go there in between races.
  3. Lighting is hugely imroved, crew 2 always looked dull outside of cities and suburbs this change alone make motorfest 2x better looking.
  4. No GPS in vintage cars. They handle very differently to the normal cars.
  5. Majority of cars, all legendary and summit reward cars from c2 are ported to motorfest.
  6. Environment is lot more forgiving now. Small props will brake easily.
  7. Map is 1/3 of crew 2 but it is still big enough
  8. Planes handling is overhauled. They now feel like battlefield V planes. Way better.
  9. Upgrade system, market, currency system is the same. Which tbf is fine.
submitted by Ray2207 to thecrew2 [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:01 SnoBun420 Finished Skyward Sword yesterday. I liked it.

Finished Skyward Sword yesterday. I liked it. Wii version btw.
Controls Guess the first thing to mention is the controls. You kind of have to since, motion controls are like half the identity of Skyward Sword. Well, first is to mention the non-motion controls. They’re fine. No problem there, as you would expect.
Anyway, I was okay with the motion controls. Well, I thought I was. For the most part the motion controls really just made certain things a bit more or a lot more cumbersome. So that was okay, I thought. Like, makes throwing bombs kinda annoying and stuff, and also they use motion controls in areas where it has no business being used of course, but even then I dealt with it fine. The only time it really annoyed me was in the stupid harp mingame in the pumpkin bar. Took me seven goddamn tries to beat it! So yeah, I thought it was still fine except that after beating the game I happened to play some Twilight Princess HD. Hadn’t played it in awhile and disc was nearby so why not?
Well, that certainly made Skyward Sword look worse. I thought I was generally okay with the motion controls but then playing TP it’s like, oh my god this is so much better. I can do exactly what I want when I want and not have to be overly careful with certain actions because of motion stuff. So yeah. I was kind of okay with the controls but it’s not something that made the game better for the most part
Other gameplay stuff
So yeah, Fi pops up way too much. Everyone knows this but yeah like you’ll enter a room in a dungeon there is this thing that could take a little time to notice or figure out but Fi jumps out and spoils the damn thing lol.
Dowsing is a gimmick. It’s kinda lame but not the worse thing ever.
The items you get, I think that they are not that strong. The three new items are the gust bellow, Whip, and beetle. None of these items are truly new items. The gust bellow is a lamer version of the gust jar. Like, in Minish Cap that item could blow things, suck things up, do thing like pull in mushrooms to cross gaps, suck things, shoot them out, etc. The Gust Bellow is just clearing dust and blowing the propellers. Yeah, pretty weak. The whip is like the grappling hook and uh, yeah. It can pull some levers and stuff but come on, that’s not that interesting. Beetle is the hyoi pear in Wind Waker. This time it actually can do more though and has various useful upgrades. It’s a consistently useful thing and it’s cool. Bombs can also be rolled instead of just thrown overhead, so that’s neat even though I avoided using bombs when necessary because I didn’t like the controls for them. But compare this to Twilight Princess. The boomerang is basically the end result of additional features being added to it over the series. Wind Waker added the multi lock-on and Twilight added the wind effect. The Iron Boots had a whole new dimension added with the magnet walking thing. The Clawshots, instead of the upgrade being longer, you get two, which is more interesting for sure. The equivalent of the hammer type weapon is pretty much the ball and chain, and it stands out a lot more compared to the magic/megaton/skull hammer. The Spinner while limited (If you ever wished the Spinner was more useful, try Unsighted btw) was such a unique idea. I don’t think there was anything quite like it before. You get the idea. Oh yeah, the upgrade for the digging gloves was cool (Partially since one too many of the items in Skyward Sword are just the “use the thing on the thing” type) but I got tired of it so very quickly since there’s a cutscene to go underground, you have to use stamina to move faster, attacking is annoying, etc.
Stamina. I think it was handled fine. I will say that I think stamina made more sense in Skyward Sword then it did in BotW/TotK. Although again, playing Twilight Princess right after, I didn’t miss not having stamina one bit.
Combat. It’s what you expect out of 3D Zelda pre-BotW. This time they actually make use of the different directional slashes and stuff. First time you could parry enemy attacks I think. Also the vertical spin attack is really cool.
Silent Realm. I loved these. These were some of the best parts of the entire game.
Boss rush. I consider this to be the single worst implementation of a boss rush I have ever seen in a game. 3D Zelda bosses are not the most suited for a boss rush, but it’s worse here. Every time you defeat a boss you have to go through dialogue. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Why? And then the Imprisoned is part of boss rush? My god. Didn’t bother with clearing the whole thing. Just got the Hylian Shield then quit because I didn’t want to risk failing the third Imprisoned fight and losing everything. Really, really bad.
The Imprisoned. I didn’t mind the second refight because there was a good amount of time between the first two fights and there was a new mechanic added. But for the third to happen so soon afterwards? Really?
The sky. So, I heard the sky was empty. And it is. I didn’t mind that much though. Ironically Skyward Sword has the emptiest overworld in addition to the densest overworld among 3D Zeldas.
Environment variety. This is one of the biggest issues with Skyward Sword I feel. You have the three main zones and revisit them repeatedly. But first, was it necessary to have a desert and a volcano zone? I mean, you only have three, so I would think you would want to have them be as distinct as possible. For the desert to be after the volcano, it does feel repetitious. But you revisit the forest later and go to the lake, that’s fine I guess. It’s a new area although you just kinda go through it. The volcano, the other area is more volcano. The desert? Well, more desert. It all looks very samey. There’s even two fire temples, which doesn’t help.
Out of the 3D Zeldas I’ve played I think Skyward Sword feels the most “video-gamey.” The overworld areas being so dense is part of the problem. While I was okay with it in this game, I don’t need to see it return. It has a real negative effect on the way the world feels. It feels the least organic. Like, there’s all these things around and it was/is all for this little platforming challenge or small puzzle or whatever. Like, it obviously feels like “oh yeah, this is this small challenge to get around this or find this thing” and much of the world is like that. Having only one town that is disconnected from the areas contributes to the feeling. The sky world too, since it’s largely empty it feels a bit like a glorified level select hub.
Padding. Yeah, there’s a lot of it. How much it bothers you depends obviously. I heard of the Tadtones but that didn’t bother me much. Had good music, swimming was enjoyable enough, yeah. The other region equivalents were fine too but yeah it’s undeniable. The biggest issue is that it comes at the cost of the feeling of adventure. Like, going to new areas and stuff. Tough to feel that way when you have only three areas and you go back to them over and over and.
Shield durability, crafting stuff, collectibles. I don’t really know why the shield durability was a thing. It doesn’t add much to the game. My guess is that either they were overcompensating because of how powerful the shield in the previous two 3D Zeldas was and/or they needed to have more stuff for you to use money/materials on. The crafting materials is part of a long-standing problem the Zelda series has had that is still a thing to this very day in the newer games. I mentioned this in my TotK post I think but Zelda games after some point started to feel like they didn’t have enough interesting permanent things to find in the world. Like, it’s mainly rupees, less commonly pieces of heart and even more rarely more unique one of a kind rewards. It wasn’t a problem with the smaller games but the when you increase the scale of the game, you need to also followup with the stuff to find. The issue is very obvious in Skyward Sword because it’s like, gee, we don’t have enough interesting things in the world so let’s have a bunch of random bugs and junk to collect to be used in the mainly pointless durability system and upgrades. If you had the upgrade system in previous Zelda games what would be the cost? Money. Just money. But now you need money and other random stuff. I feel like it was what led to some of the stuff in BotW. There’s actually a handful of things in BotW that came directly from Skyward Sword, ironically enough.
Timeshift Stones were fun. The devs thought so apparently given how much they use the mechanic. Still, it was interesting enough to where it didn’t get old.
Dungeons were fine. I feel like I’ve heard people seriously hype of the SS dungeons and I didn’t really see it. Maybe my expectations were too high but yeah the Sandship did stand out. The sliding puzzle dungeon was also cool although the speed brought it down.
Adventure’s Pouch. This was a cool idea. I would say it’s a shame this didn’t return but BotW was the next one. Although I’m sure they still could’ve had this in some way, like you can choose between more space for weapons or more space for food. Something.
The medals are a neat idea although the actual medals themselves are uninteresting. Charms from Hollow Knight these are not.
Tedium. This is an issue. The repeated visits to areas, Fi popping up then needed, the pauses when you pick up crafting materials, crafting, etc.
So, about the story. Over the years I knew plenty of things about Skyward Sword but I never actually played it until now. One of the things I heard about was that it was more story and/or character driven. Like, it’s pretty apparent at the beginning of the game with the thing between Link, Zelda, and Groose. But that’s the thing. That rivalry/love triangle/whatever is a thing…...at the beginning. Like, what I saw of Zelda at the start made her pretty much my favorite version of the character in the series. And then it basically goes away for 90% of the game. Zelda herself disappears almost entirely. Zelda being out of commission for most of the game is nothing new to Zelda games but it’s worse here because of lively she was at the start. To have all that just for it to vanish is why it sucks so much.
Like, I thought there is this rivalry thing with Groose but after the game starts for real you don’t see him until like three dungeons later. Wtf?
So yeah, the characters had this promise but it doesn’t pay off when they aren’t present for much of the game. The other stuff like the master sword, well I don’t know if we really needed to know how it came to be. It’s fine, but whatever. Girahim is fine. Just fine. Fi, well nobody cares about this non-character, but I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before.
Some nice songs. Some highlights were the bamboo island theme, miniboss theme, and Lake Floria Underwater.
Anyway yeah. I enjoyed the game although I think it started to run out of steam in the later part. Not one of my favorite Zeldas but still enjoyable enough. I’ll go through it again someday on the HD version instead but that likely won’t be anytime soon. Lastly, I can see how this led to BotW since certain things started to become predictable in the series.
submitted by SnoBun420 to truezelda [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 07:01 JCD_007 Digital Reality - Part 24

Link to Part 1
Link to Part 2
Link to Part 3
Link to Part 4
Link to Part 5
Link to Part 6
Link to Part 7
Link to Part 8
Link to Part 9
Link to Part 10
Link to Part 11
Link to Part 12
Link to Part 13
Link to Part 14
Link to Part 15
Link to Part 16
Link to Part 17
Link to Part 18
Link to Part 19
Link to Part 20
Link to Part 21
Link to Part 22
Link to Part 23
Note: This story is meant to be read after completing DDLC Plus. All credit for the original DDLC and DDLC Plus characters and world goes to their creator. Some concepts like the Universal Constructor are also borrowed from other series (most notably the original Deus Ex), though its use in this story is my own idea. My original characters in this story will deliberately not be named and their descriptions will be kept vague, so anyone reading this who wants to see themselves in one of the original characters can more easily do so. I'd welcome any feedback and will post more parts as I write them. I hope you enjoy the story. This chapter took a bit longer due to the challenges inherent in writing poetry and trying to write something that I thought sounded like the various characters. As with previous installations, here is a custom dialogue to go with it: The Poetry Festival
Credit for Sayuri's character design goes to user Hoeruko who made the design a number of years ago and originally posted Sayuri in this thread: The next doki fusion, Sayuri, is here.
Here is Part 24 of Digital Reality. The Literature Club finally gets to put on the festival. Will their words have an impact on any of the MES engineers? Will they get Monika back?
Part 24: Digital Poetry
The Literature Club members all stood together in the club room and waved a greeting to the group in the MES conference room.
“Hi everyone!” Sayori began, “On behalf of the Literature Club, thank you for joining us today. I’m Sayori, and this is Yuri, MC, Natsuki, and our newest member, Sayuri. Though our club president Monika isn’t here right now, we’ve all written poems to share with you today.”
“Don’t forget the cupcakes,” Natsuki added, “I don’t usually share it, but you should have my recipe for the best cupcakes ever in the packets you have. I made some for us to share here, but since we don’t have a way to send them to the real world, I figured sharing the recipe was the next best thing!”
The MES engineers flipped through the packets on the table in front of them.
“A cupcake recipe?” asked Rea Vorte with surprise, “You can’t just make cupcakes appear in the simulation?”
“No,” Natsuki replied, “Knowing what we now know about our world I know why you would think that, but I’ve always made my cupcakes with a recipe and ingredients.”
“Interesting,” Ro Teether said, “I would not have expected the simulation to go into that level of detail.”
“I think the original script contained an event in which the characters can bake cupcakes, so that may be where it comes from,” replied Ive Laster.
Paula Miner sat silently, looking intently at the recipe page. After a few moments she looked up.
“I’m by no means an expert baker, but reading through this recipe it does look like it would work,” Miner said, glancing from Laster to Natsuki, “Your secret ingredient is rather interesting, too.”
Natsuki smiled, “That’s how I’ve always made them.”
“By the way, since we’re on a two-way connection, can they see us?” Miner asked.
“Sort of,” the FXI President replied, “They’ve told me when I’ve been connected to the system that I appear as a fuzzy silhouette to them.”
“Yeah, we can’t see you exactly, but we know you’re there,” Sayori confirmed.
Miner nodded slowly. “Very well. We’ll need to chat about this cupcake recipe more later. Please continue.”
“Okay!” Sayori said, “We’ve each written a poem that we’re going to share with you today. There’s no particular theme that connects them all, but with everything that we’ve learned in the past week we thought that writing was a good outlet for our thoughts and emotions.”
“MC has agreed to start today’s event by sharing his haiku, entitled ‘Poem About Poetry’,” Sayori continued.
MC stepped to the front of the group. He looked down at his piece of paper and then back up at the group as he began to speak.
“I’m far from as good of a writer as some of the other members you’ll hear from today, but that just means that the quality can go up from here,” MC said in a self-deferential tone, “This is a poem I wrote about the creative process of writing poetry.”
He winked at Sayori as he began to read.
What is poetry?
Far more meaningful than just
Simply random words”
Natsuki grinned. “Wow, you didn’t take my advice about not just throwing random words on a page, you literally wrote a poem about it!”
“Haiku is an interesting choice,” Teether said, “It shows an understanding of syllables and structure, and I find it very ‘meta’ that you would choose to create a poem about poetry.”
MC nodded, “My past poetry has been accused of being nothing more than twenty random words on a page, so I’m poking fun at myself a bit.”
“Well done, MC,” Sayori said, “That was a fun poem! Next up will be Yuri, with her poem called ‘The City.’”
Yuri stepped to the front of the group. She glanced to the side, looking slightly nervous. After a few moments, she seemed to gather her thoughts and looked toward the group. “My poem is not as straightforward as MC’s haiku, so I would prefer not to share the meaning until after you have had the opportunity to consider it for yourselves.”
She started to read, her voice becoming stronger and more confident with each word.
A city stood in the distance.
Shining lights, soaring towers.
A beautiful and magnificent place.
A place of honor and achievement
When viewed from afar with detachment.
Though upon arrival
The city unveils its truth.
There is no honor here.
Glowing lights
Are cold and artificial.
I thought I knew this place
But it treats me as a stranger.”
Yuri looked around the club room after she had finished speaking. An enigmatic smile of satisfaction crossed her face.
Sayori spoke up first. “Yuri, it seems like your poem could be about changes in perspective over time. Like going back to visit a neighborhood you’ve moved away from. You know things aren’t as they once were, but you still kind of feel lonely when you find that things have changed.”
Yuri nodded. “That’s part of it. We’ve all experienced a significant change recently as we’ve understood our world, and I struggled to find a way to describe what I was feeling. Places that had been familiar to me suddenly appeared different with the knowledge that this is a simulation.”
“So the AIs can not only write poetry but use metaphors and explain their meaning,” Teether observed, “Fascinating. Ive, you never told me that the entities in VM1 were capable of creativity like this.”
Laster shrugged, “Other than Monika, they were tied to the script until recently. Based on Monika’s behavior, we knew that at least she was capable of taking initiative and making changes to the world, but she was the only entity able to do that. The script included poetry, but we’ve never tasked the entities with creating original content.”
“This isn’t because of anything that the FXI team did, right?” Teether asked, “I know you mentioned that they were responsible for all of the entities gaining elevated access permissions. They didn’t extend the script or anything?”
“Yes and no,” the FXI CTO replied, “We restored files to the VM and added the ‘monitor kernel access’ permission to all of the characters, but we didn’t do any scripting. This is all them.”
Miner glanced between the FXI President and the FXI CTO with suspicion but said nothing.
Sayori took the pause as an opportunity to continue. “Thanks, Yuri. Natsuki will be next with her poem, ‘My Friends.’”
“Okay, time for my poem!” Natsuki said, “Mine is a bit more upbeat than Yuri’s.”
Some come from near
Some from afar
Each shines bright like a star
They’re my friends
That’s who they are
Old or new
Many or few
Friends are important
To me and you”
Natsuki smiled at the group, “You all inspired this poem. And by you all I mean both you all here in the club and our new FXI friends. You’ve made the literature club a place that I’ve enjoyed and a place of friendship.”
“I liked your poem, Natsuki,” Sayori said, “I’m glad you feel that way about your friends.”
A look somewhere between exhaustion and frustration came across Paula Miner’s face. “This is all well and good, but are we gathering any useful data from listening to an AI read a cute little poem like this?”
Natsuki glared at Miner and opened her mouth to offer what was certain to be a sarcastic retort, but Sayori pre-empted her.
“Are you not enjoying our poetry?” Sayori asked, sounding disappointed.
“The poetry is fine. I’ll even say it’s impressive for AI-generated content,” Miner replied, “But though your poems are interesting, we’re here to do a job, not study literature. And we need to gather useful data to justify our own jobs and this project’s existence. So tell me, Ive, are we getting useful data from this?”
Laster tapped a few keys on his laptop. “We’re recording this session and logging all data. It looks like there may be some interesting patterns of activity, but we won’t be able to say for sure until we analyze what we’ve got.”
“I’d imagine that you’re likely getting a lot of useful data,” the FXI President chimed in, “You’re not only gathering the data logs from VM1, but you can pair them with the recordings to understand what happens in the system when the AIs are allowed to interact and create on their own. I don’t know what your project goals are, of course, but in terms of AI research I’d think that there’s something you can get out of this.”
“There also may be something useful for our efforts to stabilize our connection to VM2,” Teether added, “If we can understand how entities operate when freed from a script in VM1, it may give us some clues as to how we might be able to interact with VM2.”
Miner considered for a moment and then nodded. “Perhaps you’re right. Ive, let’s just make sure we’re logging everything for future analysis.”
As the conversation once again died down, Sayori continued. “I’ll go next. My poem is called ‘A New Day’ and it’s about my journey with some personal challenges.”
She took a deep breath and began to recite her poem.
“Storms tried to block out the sun
The world was dark and gray.
It’s so hard to have any fun
When the clouds won’t go away.
But you never stopped trying
To shine through the darkness
Even when I was crying
You showed me kindness
It’s a new day now
Though the clouds aren’t gone
The sun shines somehow
I find the strength to carry on”
Sayori blinked away misty eyes as she finished reading. The other club members surrounded her in a group hug as she stepped back from the front of the room.
“That was a wonderful poem, Sayori,” MC said, “You share your feelings so well.”
“I liked that poem quite a bit,” Laster chimed in, “It’s got a great message of perseverance and hope even in challenging times.”
Sayori nodded. “I’ve been through a lot, but things are getting better now. My friends have been a huge source of support through all of this.”
“I really like your writing, Sayori,” Sayuri added, “Your poem is easy to read but the more you think about it, the more you feel the emotions you’re trying to convey.”
“Thanks, everyone. I appreciate your kind words,” Sayori replied, “And now for the finale of our festival I’d like to introduce our newest member, Sayuri, and her poem ‘What Remains.’”
Sayuri stepped to the front of the group. “I’ve been reading through classic poetry recently. Poems like Shelley’s ‘Ozymandias’ inspired me to write this one about what will stand the test of time in a time when so much is digital.”
Sayuri paused, looking around the room, before closing her eyes and reciting her poem from memory.
Ancient monuments that still stand
Classic portraits and landscapes grand
Such works are the legacies of the past
Physical objects that will last
But what will tell of this new age?
When are stories are gigabytes, not a printed page
A digital reality, its purpose completed
Leaves little trace if it’s deleted
If all that remains is a dusty drive
Will the future know we were alive?”
Sayuri opened her eyes as she finished. Both the club room and the MES conference room were silent as both groups took in her words.
“Wow, Sayuri,” Yuri said, breaking the silence, “That was incredible. I really loved the images you created with your words.”
The FXI President glanced around the conference room. Paula Miner’s expression had softened, and she appeared to be lost in thought. Ro Teether continued to look excited and intrigued by his observations of the Literature Club. The FXI CTO wore a satisfied smile. Ive Laster looked relaxed and relieved. And Rea Vorte was looking down at the conference table and shaking her head. Her expression was difficult to read.
Miner looked up at the screen showing the Literature Club. “I never thought an AI would generate content that would make me feel anything. But I have to say this has given me some things to think about. Ive, can you please confirm that we’ve logged all the data from this session?”
Laster nodded. “Yes, we’ve got everything. If this is the last big data gathering session we have before decommissioning VM1, I’d say it’s a pretty good one to go out on.”
“If this is truly AI-generated content, this seems like a new level of sophistication,” Teether mused, “It’s one thing to be able to generate text, but to be able to convey this kind of emotion and explain the meaning of metaphors is not a capability I’ve ever seen in AI.”
“It’s a little scary,” Rea Vorte added, “I don’t know that I like the idea of AI this sophisticated. Especially after what we saw Monika-”
“Let’s refrain from speculation,” Miner said, cutting Vorte off, “We can talk more about system capabilities later.”
“You think we’re scary?” Sayori said, looking sad, “We just wanted to share our writing with you. We just wanted to show that we’re not that different from you. We have feelings, emotions, and desires just like you do.”
“You’ve got my vote, for whatever it’s worth,” the FXI CTO said with a smile, “I’m not big into poetry, and I certainly had my concerns about sophisticated AI when I first encountered all of you. But the more I’ve interacted with and observed you the more I see how similar you are to us.”
Miner glanced sideways at the FXI CTO but said nothing.
“Can we please have Monika back now?” Natsuki asked.
Laster turned to Vorte, “Rea, please move Monika’s file back to VM1 by COB today. Let’s discuss how we can best move the entire simulation after we’re done here.”
“Thanks, Ive!” Natsuki said with a smile, “Sayori did a great job leading the club in Monika’s absence, but it will be good to have her back.”
Vorte looked up at Laster. Frustration was evident on her face. “Like I said before, let’s discuss that offline after we’re done here.”
Laster shrugged. “Fine. I’m not blaming you if there’s a problem by the way. If there’s an issue, we’ll work on it together.”
“Great job, everyone,” the FXI President said to the Literature Club, “We’re going to log off from VM1 now, but I’m sure we’ll talk again soon.”
The Literature Club members waved to the group in the MES conference room as the club room faded from the projection screen to be replaced with Laster’s desktop.
“I think we have a lot to discuss, and it’s going to take some time to unpack the implications of everything that we just saw,” Miner said, “I was skeptical of the value of this presentation at the start of this meeting, but I’m hopeful that we have gathered new and useful data from this session. Let’s all take a break for a bit and reconvene at six, which gives us an hour break. I want to discuss this further. Ro, can you please order in some dinner for the group? I think we’re going to have a long night.”
submitted by JCD_007 to DDLC [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:59 Fit-Instruction9929 Chronic Depression impacts my relationships

I'm a 29year old woman who grew up in an abusive and chaotic household, and have been suffering from depression for atleast a dozen years. My parents used to fight a lot and I hated living with them. I really enjoyed living with my maternal grandparents because their house seemed to be filled with fun and loved. When I was 10, my mother put me with her family. Slowly, even that place became toxic and hostile, as I was a burden on stretched finances, and none really wanted me in that house anymore. My aunt told me I was ugly beyond measure, a bad person and unlucky for my parents. I felt as though I was responsible for their unhappiness. I left as soon as I could, and started living alone during high school, and my mother supported me financially.
By the time I graduated high school and went to college, I got into some toxic friendships and was deep in depression. My scores in academics dropped over time and college wasn't really successful for me. I didn't make any good friends in college either, because I tried to isolate myself halfway through that time and the friends I had made during the first year, didn't really care. I cared and gave far more during those relationships than I received, so I ultimately stopped. During that time, I had few long distance relationships with men who verbally and psychologically abused me, and I feel guilty for being with them, I was so desperate for love.
After college, I got a low paying job. I also met a boy who was very supportive and kind. He loved me a lot and I did too. He is super smart and emotionally intelligent, and helped me unlearn a lot of bad things I had believed about myself during my childhood. He helped me understand the problems from my childhood and abuse.
However, soon, my issues started affecting the relationship. I used to feel there is something off about the relationship. I used to get angry over little things and lose control of myself. I tended to realise that later and apologize to him. But slowly there was significant damage to the relationship. I quit my job and was trying to find a better one, but it is really difficult. My savings lasted a while, and a year later my aunt fell sick and needed help. She had cancer and my mother asked me to be there with her. The cycle started where I had left it in childhood. She used to scream and shout at me with cancer in her lungs. I felt like I was a helpess child again. After an year I started living alone again, but I was not okay. I realised I was transferring my trauma to my boyfriend and I broke up with him, but stayed friends still. A few months after our break up, he told me he was bi-sexual and had sexual relationships with men before meeting me. It made me feel like I was right all along about something being off, and that my anger was justified.
The depression that had started in high school, had gotten worse over the years, and, I struggled with frequent anxiety and panic attacks. A year later, I started consulting a therapist and a psychologist, got some medicines and advice that helped me stand back on my feet. I almost felt like I am normal and have no issues.
I met another boy, who was very gentle and kind. When I was with me and I got an attack, he was there for me and helped me through them. I started feeling like I was really loved and cared for. However, he does not know how to cook or do any household work, and we have a few fights about that. After that, he stopped supporting me emotionally. Some days when he feels he likes me, he becomes available, and there are many days when he is just out of reach, even though he is right in front of me. I stopped therapy and got off medication, because medicines made it impossible to focus and do my job well, and my therapist stopped feeling helpful.
We lived together for over a year and a half, and had a lot of fights, over really inconsequential things. I feel like a lot of those fights happened because of my anger issues. Halfway through our time living together, he wanted to break up and when I was away for a few months, he even went on dates with a girl he met on a dating app. When I had discovered these things, he was angry and wanted to break up, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it. I feel I have become too attached to him. I get really frustrated whenever I think about the time he was trying to break up with me and going on dates with other women. We have been together for almost 3 years now, and I have observed that whenever I am having a depressive episode, things get bad between us. From time to time, when I am having a normal mood,, he talks about getting married, but then a depressive episode comes back, he makes me feel isolated, which further fuels the negativity in my mind. I feel like he does not understand this depressed side of me, and when I complain about this to him, he tells me i should talk to a therapist.
I feel my relationships will never be successful because of my depression, and that should just quit and be alone. Would appreciate any advise, suggestions about this situation.
submitted by Fit-Instruction9929 to depression [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:58 Ok-Permit2777 Newbie questions

Hi, I’m going to be getting a steam deck and I have a few questions any help is greatly appreciated.
  1. Do you have to have a docking station to charge it?
  2. Is there a big difference in the screen quality between the mid tier model and the top tier one?
  3. When you first get it in order to set it up do you need to plug it into a computer or a TV or something or can you play it straight out of the box? Thanks in advance for any help.
submitted by Ok-Permit2777 to SteamDeck [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:58 kiraadria Why are ascendant signs different between Vedic and Western astrology?For instance, I am a Scorpio ascendant as per Vedic, and Sagittarius ascendant as per Western. Which is correct?

Since I don't know which one is correct, I can't decide which one to look for while following the astrological prediction comments.
submitted by kiraadria to AskAstrologers [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:58 bingoburger Twist on Twins Paradox Question

Hello, hoping someone can help clarify my thinking on this. The standard twins paradox scenario has sibling A stationary on earth while sibling B speeds off near SOL to some mid-point in space, turns around and comes back to earth at similar speeds. When the two are reunited, the space bound sibling is younger due to relativistic time dilation.
How would the outcome of this hypothetical differ if sibling B instead orbited the earth at the same near-SOL speed for the same amount of proper time as before. Would the age disparities between the two siblings be different upon their reunion? If so, why?
Thanks in advance for any insights.
submitted by bingoburger to cosmology [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:57 jasonmitchell_ Mastering The Stage And Screen: Acting Techniques For Different Mediums

Mastering The Stage And Screen: Acting Techniques For Different Mediums
Introduction: In Hollywood, actor Jason Mitchell views acting as a multifaceted art form that requires adaptability and versatility. Whether it's commanding the stage in a live theater performance or captivating audiences through a camera lens, actors employ different techniques to excel in other mediums. In this blog post, we will explore the nuances of acting for stage and screen, highlighting the distinct approaches and skills required for each medium.
The Intimacy of Film: Acting for film demands subtlety and naturalism. The camera is a perceptive observer, capturing every nuance of an actor's performance. Close-ups magnify even the slightest facial expressions and convey emotions with great intensity. Actors working in film often focus on internalizing their characters, using microexpressions and subtle gestures to communicate feelings effectively.
The Power of Projection in Theater: Things According to the Actor Jason Mitchell, beginners should remember that, in contrast to film, acting on stage requires projection and larger-than-life expressions to ensure that even audience members in the back row can connect with the performance. Theater actors must possess a solid physical presence and vocal projection, commanding the stage with energy and clarity. Techniques like voice exercises, physical warm-ups, and projection exercises help actors deliver their lines effectively to reach the entire audience.

Mastering The Stage And Screen: Acting Techniques For Different Mediums
Timing and Pace: Timing is crucial in both stage and screen acting, but the approach differs. In theater, actors must be aware of the pacing of the entire production, working in harmony with fellow cast members to create a cohesive performance. Stage actors develop a keen sense of timing, allowing for precise comedic delivery or intense dramatic pauses.
In film, actors need to be sensitive to the editing process. Scenes are shot out of sequence, and the final product is shaped in the editing room. Actors must adapt their performances accordingly, ensuring that their actions and reactions can be seamlessly pieced together in the last edit.
Spatial Awareness: Actors on stage have a broader canvas to work with, utilizing the entire performance space to create dynamic stage pictures. The ability to navigate the phase confidently and engage with co-actors in real-time is crucial in theater acting. They must be aware of blocking, stage directions, and the proximity of fellow actors, ensuring their movements and interactions are visible to the audience.
Film actors, on the other hand, must develop a keen sense of visual composition. They collaborate with directors and cinematographers to frame their movements and expressions within the camera's field of view. The focus shifts from sharing the space with fellow actors to finding the most visually compelling angles and working within the frame.
Adaptability: Actors who excel in both mediums often possess a remarkable ability to adapt their performances. This adaptability comes from rigorous training, experience, and a deep understanding of the nuances of acting on stage and screen. They understand the unique demands of each medium and can seamlessly transition between them.
Conclusion: Acting is a dynamic art form that evolves with each medium. While stage acting requires projection, physicality, and a strong connection with the audience, film acting demands subtlety, naturalism, and an acute awareness of the camera. Mastering the techniques for different mediums allows actors to expand their repertoire and excel in a variety of performance contexts. By embracing the unique demands of each medium and developing the necessary skills, actors can genuinely shine, whether they're commanding the stage or captivating audiences through the lens of a camera.
submitted by jasonmitchell_ to u/jasonmitchell_ [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:56 SophiaHeartfield Know the Difference Between Recourse and Non-Recourse Factoring

Know the Difference Between Recourse and Non-Recourse Factoring submitted by SophiaHeartfield to TradefinanceCompany [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:56 fierademonyita difference ng treatment between panganay and younger siblings

Hindi ko maiwasan manlumo tuwing nakikita ko na iba yung trato nila saken kaysa sa mga kapatid ko. Mas maluwag. Mas ginanagabayan. Walang pressure. Walang pagkukumpara. At walang "ikaw ang magaangat satin", "ikaw magpapaaral sa mga kapatid mo", "ikaw nalang pagasa natin". Thankful ako na hindi nararanasan to ng mga kapatid ko. Pinagtatanggol ko pa nga sila. Pero hindi ko maiwasan na malungkot sa part ko. Pano ako?

Emeee hinahatid sundo hanggang pagpasok kasi bunso namin sa gala nyang swimming ngayon samantalang ako dati maligaw ligaw pa ako kakahanap at pag commute sa gala ko tas mas bata pa ako nun saklap. Tas nung sinabi kong baka di matuto si bunso mag commute, pagalit pang sinabi saken na baka maligaw. Pasok si flashbacks.
submitted by fierademonyita to PanganaySupportGroup [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:54 First-Trick3391 Are we lacking Go video contents in English? What are the topics most sought after

As title suggested, I tried browsing through YouTube and to a staggering difference I see so much gap between how Chess videos perform versus Go videos. I quickly tried searching for more Go videos and always stumbled on to the same creator, and I felt there is a lack of consistency in the contents. I felt like study resources are more written than shown through video in English.
On a side note, I couldn’t finish most of the Go contents, at one point it gets a little boring I had rather play a game and review it. Most videos are too instructional.
What are your thoughts?
submitted by First-Trick3391 to baduk [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:54 Storms_Wrath The Human Artificial Hivemind Part 378: Equisa Makes A Deal

First Previous Wiki
Equisa frowned as she looked at her bosses again. The three Sprilnav Elders before her, not even Refined Elders, were simply staring at her disdainfully as if she'd asked if gravity was real. One of them wasn't even bothering to look at her and instead was scratching at his neck, likely a result of a bite.
A long time ago, there'd been someone who had released genetically modified Sprilnav into the air. They had been modified so heavily that it was definitely illegal, but the creatures were unusually hardy, bred fast enough to double their populations in a day, and constantly irritated most Sprilnav, even those who weren't Elders. And, of course, the products to prevent the bites were extra expensive, with planned obsolescence just another part of their hated design.
"But why can't I go back? There's no good reason for it. I want to see Joshua and Meihala again." She missed them greatly. Equisa had forgotten how lonely life was when there was no one you could call a friend. Even with all the wonderous tech of the Primary Galaxy, there was nothing that would fix that. Nothing real.
"Is fornicating with them your only reason for wishing to see them?"
"No," she replied. "But my relationship with them is a factor. I don't understand why you're constantly stonewalling me. It's unnecessary."
"You were trying to share technology with them."
"Then I won't do that anymore. Simple. Happy?"
"I can sign a binding non-disclosure agreement."
"You did last time, too."
Equisa scowled.
"I would like to talk with Nova, then."
The looks of disdain became those of derision. One of them looked like she was about to laugh at her.
"Nova is a Progenitor. He does not have time for you, much less should his divinity be tarnished by our presence. No, you are going to remain here and wait. Go find something else to do than waste our time."
The Elder pulled a hood over his head, tightened the straps of his cloak, and made a sign with his claws for the other two to follow. Equisa knew she wasn't invited to whatever meeting they were about to have. She assumed that she was going to get fired now and would have to find another place to work. That would be both demeaning and difficult. Another reminder of what she'd lost by being forced to leave the Alliance behind.
Equisa turned around mournfully, gazing at the door which led to the main corridor and elevator to the ground floor of the building. With absent amusement, she noticed that the windows had extra bars on the sides to prevent people from jumping out. Though she could jump off the very highest building in the city and come out unscathed.
Clearly, this wasn't getting her anywhere useful. Equisa had to re-think her options and determine a path forward. She exited the building, weaving through the crowds of Sprilnav that were walking and flying through the streets between the massive skyscrapers. Some of them had bought personal flight devices, useful for those who didn't want to deal with pedestrians. But it often led to disaster when people got drunk. But there were always more Sprilnav, so the accidents weren't being dealt with anytime soon.
She could see the high arches overhead, supported by huge amounts of metal and a superstructure that went down to the very core of the planet-sized city. After grabbing a few pieces of food that looked particularly good, like some meat from a new cloning facility, she settled down on a patch of artificial grass. There were other Sprilnav there, mostly couples on quiet excursions or children playing on various different playsets. But Equisa was alone.
She'd never had any children and didn't intend to. None of her previous mates had lasted longer than a few hundred years at most, which hadn't ever been enough time to unravel the complicated mess of secrets and suspicions surrounding almost every Sprilnav Elder. And having relationships with the common Sprilnav would be seen as a black mark on her reputation, perhaps the equal of the one she'd apparently received for daring to love two humans instead of some dry Elder who only moved one day a year.
While her relationship with Meihala and Joshua had been sudden, it hadn't been bereft of real love. She really did love them and wanted to have friends again. For far too long, she'd been alone. She didn't like feeling that anymore because it was in times like this when depression could sink its claws into her without warning.
She'd been trying to get in touch with the Alliance again without success. Even the more secret emergency methods she'd established weren't working at all. No quantum connections were successfully linked with her implants. Errors and notifications about having no access plagued her vision as she tried in vain to even send out a single message.
There was no way for her to reestablish contact, which worried and angered her. Even her ship was being watched, not that she could actually get to the Alliance using it. Wormholes were far too expensive for people of her stratum to be able to afford.
And she didn't have sponsors that would be willing to pay, either. She needed information, friends, and actual help. Help that no one was giving her. Her bosses didn't even care. It saddened her greatly. Equisa didn't know where she could find Nova, either. It wasn't like he was easy to find unless one knew where to look. He could easily disguise himself as a normal-looking Sprilnav, after all. Many technologies existed to allow that, and Nova likely had the best of the best.
Of course, Equisa wasn't sure how one could hide a tail, but that was just her. Even being able to have seen him once in her life was already far more than most Sprilnav would ever know. In that way, she'd been exposed to a higher power. Within the Sprilnav, the Progenitors were gods. They had cults and religious followings in their names, political power so immense that not even the rest of the species together could pool their resources enough to resist.
It was said that no one disagreed with them. And they didn't. Not if they wanted to continue existing. Equisa had a feeling that if Nova wanted to help her, he would. Though it wasn't like someone of his stature would appear before her.
"Why not?"
Equisa could feel the mindscape bend slightly and looked up to meet the eyes of a being that was far beyond her own abilities to comprehend. She didn't know what she felt at that moment.
Certainly surprised, for sure. A large amount of reverence for him and a growing disbelief that she wasn't dreaming. Perhaps she really was lying in bed with Meihala and Joshua again, and this irritating life would disappear when she awoke once more. But when she opened her eyes again, Nova still stood before her.
His small stature was quite distinctive. Despite her height advantage, there was no question as to the hierarchy of power here. Even the grass was bowing to him, bending low to the ground in a way she'd never known was possible.
And his voice held an aura of command so utterly intense that she only now noticed she was kneeling. She didn't bother trying to rise.
"What?" Equisa asked.
"Why wouldn't I appear before you?"
Of course he could read her mind. She expected nothing less. But it did feel a little violating. Okay, it felt very violating, but it wasn't like she could say that to his face. Oh. She just had.
Nova's small form coiled around itself before bulging and changing color. Soon, a normal Sprilnav was standing before her, but that ethereal air was still there. It was like a smell in the air but beyond that. Something pleasant yet distinctive. It didn't seem like perfume, either. She knew that it was affecting her mind in some way, but she didn't really care. Perhaps that was part of the effect, too.
"You're way too high up. I'm a nobody compared to you. At most, I should be seeing a Refined Elder, not a whole Progenitor."
"Am I not what you expected, then?" Nova asked. His amusement was clear in his strangely commanding voice.
Equisa sighed. "I don't know whether you're real. I can't tell if you're mocking me. I... don't know how to feel about you being here."
"You don't want me here?"
"No, it's not that. I want you here, but also... sort of wonder. Why come to me now? Why me and not the countless other Elders? Am I special? Was I chosen as something greater? And why do my superiors refuse to let me return to Earth and Luna? I have a life there."
Equisa knew now, more than ever, that she didn't have a life here.
"You do not have a life there. The humans you care for will die in less than a millionth of the time you have lived. Elder Equisa, to put it simply, associating with them in such a way is not just immoral, but it is not possible in even the short term."
Nova's cold eyes made Equisa flinch back. "I... I want to live a life free of shackles. Is that so much to ask?"
"Yes. For a Sprilnav Elder from the Primary Galaxy, it is. As an Elder, you are an envoy to the species as a whole. You represent us. Know that your actions on Luna were so reviled by some that I have already dismissed motions to assassinate you."
"People came to you, a Progenitor, to ask permission to kill me?"
"Because if they did it without my permission, due to your very close ties with Humanity, it could become problematic for them. I would not protect them from the consequences of their actions. And additionally, there are some Elders that have called for you to be sealed away for somatic realignments."
Equisa couldn't hide her fury.
"They want to alter my mind, because they couldn't handle the thought of a human sticking themselves in me? How insanely childish and petty. In fact, I'd think the reputation of always being down for it is far better than that of genocidal sadists, which is the reputation our species has among all the others. Progenitor, kill me if you must, but at least let me die free."
"You shall. However, I am not here to kill you. I am here to determine what to do with you. Sending you back to Humanity would prevent a rupture of relations, particularly the only positive relations that Elders have with them period, with the exception of Nilnacrawla in Penny's head. However, doing so would also anger a number of highly powerful conservative factions, particularly those based around supremacy and purity of our species. Granted, I would not have to worry about such an issue. But you, and your family, might be different. It is entirely possible they might wipe out all of your relatives, were you to leave for Luna to go back and soil yourself among the humans."
She frowned. "I did not soil myself, Progenitor. You don't understand what it's like. Even now, everyone I thought I knew ridicules me for daring to love who I love. Even you. You're the closest thing to a god this universe has ever seen. And yet, even you stand before me, heaping your disgust for me onto my already burdened shoulders. They're not animals, Progenitor."
"Your actions are casting the Alliance in a negative light as well, in the eyes of many Sprilnav who would not care otherwise."
"And so what? They don't matter."
"They do, you just do not want to admit it. If I wanted to stop you from loving them, I could, Equisa. Right here, right now, I could rearrange your brain, altering your memories like clay in my claws. I could make you forget what love even is. I could turn you into a slave, or into a living bioweapon. My disapproval of your decisions is mostly from the standpoint of someone who had to deal with the fallout. I care not for your decision to try and mate with humans."
"When you love someone, none of the other stuff matters. I want to go back, Progenitor Nova. Back to the Alliance. I don't know who decided that this punishment was necessary, but surely your word is above theirs."
"Yes, it is. That is not the only reason I have come to see you today. And I should note that you would do better to be more careful with your words around other Elders, or especially if you have the misfortune to meet any other Progenitors."
"I am... destabilized, Progenitor Nova. I apologize. The people I love are in another galaxy, and I am not able to reach them anymore. I'm not sure if you know how that feels."
"I did. I lived a life with my mate for eons. Before the Source war, I was the happiest Sprilnav there ever was. Now, she is long dead. The Source personally dug its claws into her chest, turning her bones to a constantly exploding supernova within her body, all while keeping her alive for a subjective time that is longer than your life has ever been. My grief after the war was great enough that I considered taking my own life. So yes, I know what it is like to love. But I am warning you about the cost of your actions."
Equisa could feel the venom in his voice. It triggered her instincts to run, but her muscles wouldn't move. Terror rang like a bell throughout her psyche as she was consumed by the hunger in Nova's eyes. And then, it all faded. The bone-curdling fear disappeared, and Nova tilted his head. She took it as a cue to speak again.
"You faced the Great Enemy alone?"
"Not alone, until she died. Yes, the Source killed her. Do I hate it? Not really. The deed is done, and the scar is cold. The real reason for the Source war was that during the glory days, we were sucking the very life force of the psychic realm away. The Source tried to open a dialogue to prevent it, and failed. When the last of its family died, leaving it as the sole inhabitant of the mindscape, the war began."
The scar wasn't cold, that was for sure. No matter how much he liked to pretend otherwise. "I can still hear your thoughts, you know."
"It would be nice if you allowed me to live in my delusions for a while longer."
"Well, back to the conversation then. You claim that I have tarnished the reputation of the Sprilnav, and yet we continue to purge species in the Secondary Galaxy for the mere crime of making an AI. Even though you alone could easily reach across the galaxy to deal with it at that point." "Yes."
"But you're a god."
"Yes, I am. However, that does not mean that I wish to willingly fight another one. An AI that reaches technological singularity is also a god, as much as the concept can be constrained in reality."
"What do you mean?"
"When a being becomes immensely powerful, their conceptual weight also increases, assuming they increase their psychic energy footprint. That's why Penny was able to survive being disemboweled by Yasihaut several times in quick succession. It is part of why Elders can survive forces mundane Sprilnav cannot. It is why I could walk into a black hole and survive."
"Have you?"
"What is it like?"
"There are no words."
"Describing something that does not exist is very difficult. How do you count in a universe where numbers do not exist? It is much the same for them. The mess inside the event horizon of a black hole is incredibly damaging, even for a being such as myself. Were I to remain in a singularity for long enough, though it would not kill me, it would begin to hurt."
"There seems to be a lot of extra importance with concepts, then," Equisa said.
"Elder Equisa, concepts run the universe. The Source's power is conceptual, just as mine is. Even the hivemind has some conceptual power, though it does not know it for sure yet. And you will not tell it, if you are to go back to Luna."
"Can you protect my family?"
"Of course," Nova replied. He clacked his jaws once, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled.
"Will you?"
"Maybe. I will need a favor in return."
"Well, if I die completing your favor, don't hold it against me."
"Do not worry. That is not the type of favor that I require. Rather, I need you to monitor the progress of the Alliance. Particularly the powers of the hivemind, Penny, Gaia, and Brey. And the intelligence of their various AI citizens."
"Can't you do that?"
"Yes, and no. Remaining near the Source's bones for a long time is not preferred."
"Then I will try. But it may not be easy, and there is every possibility my information could be wrong."
"Yes. I am aware," Nova responded. "But I will see what you can do."
"So I can go back?"
"Yes, Equisa. Though again, do not share what you know anymore. You are allowed to provide context for situations. Sharing any technological knowledge will be looked upon negatively." "I understand. I just want to see them again."
"You shall."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"She did what?" Hive Emperor Calanii growled.
"The Alliance claims that Rank 10 Ambassador Liinara insulted them several times, and has provided a recording of what was said. It has been verified by VI analysis as authentic," his advisor said.
Calanii quickly put on his clothes, now finished with the deep massage he'd been waiting for all day. He stretched a bit, feeling the gaps in his chitin more than he used to. He was getting old, slowly. Not that he'd die of old age with the immortality treatments, but aging still was possible. And the growth hormones in it had resulted in him becoming larger than he'd once been.
"I'll come back to that later. Where is she now?"
"She has gone into hiding, likely presuming that you are going to kill her. We know where she is."
"I shall issue a formal apology, then. I will also give the Alliance any compensation they reasonably request. They are requesting compensation, yes?"
"They are."
"Then deliver the contents of their list to my desk tomorrow."
"As you wish, Hive Emperor."
The advisor bowed and left. Calanii was glad that the pheromone blocker was active right now. His anger was barely contained, especially at the thought of such a stupid blunder. Reaching Rank 10 wasn't something just anyone could do, especially as an Ambassador. Liinara would die if the Alliance requested it. And if they did not, she might still die anyway.
He'd schedule a call with them and try to reestablish diplomatic ties. There was no way that their relationship would survive any longer by being left out to thaw with such a heinous breach of etiquette. He then received another call, this one directly to his office.
The banners overhead fluttered with a light breeze, obviously artificial but still pleasant on his chitin. He'd been very stressed that past few days, with Exii'darii's jailbreak looming over him. She'd try to kill him, that was for sure. The countermeasures were being put in place all around the palace, and most military sites and urban centers would receive special equipment deliveries soon. Logistics were a mess, but when the call went out, an executive order from the Hive Emperor was an easy way to speed things along.
Calanii sauntered over to his desk, realizing that he would need much more anti-stress ointment than he'd thought. It was so intense that his actual body was starting to feel it. When he answered, the screen showed the face of a Cawlarian.
"Who is this?"
"I am Truth Speaker Huatil."
"The Nest Overlord's mate?"
"What business do you have with me, that he does not?"
"The Sennes Hive Union has intelligence that the Sprilnav are operating several clandestine mind-control cells, intent on sowing discord and chaos amongst your populace. They have a particular focus on government officials, such as Ambassadors."
Calanii got what she was suggesting. He didn't question how she'd learned the information. No one that shacked up with the leader of an entire nation would be some pointless nobody with no connections.
"You mean Ambassador Liinara?"
"Her and others. Rich executives at companies, such as one under scrutiny for certain actions against the Alliance several years ago."
"How long has this been going on?"
"That is unknown," Hautil admitted. "What is known is that they will begin to cement their power soon. When they feel that the have enough, they will make their moves."
"Then we must move first."
"Yes, we shall. But that does not include us alone, but also the Alliance."
"What exactly are you suggesting?"
"Well, an agreement. A treaty organization, perhaps. Drafts of the documents will be given to you if you agree to inspect them. Note that this would likely be a full defensive alliance, with all that entails. There would be no room for half-measures."
"Then why the Alliance?"
"The Alliance will be a peer player in under three years," Hautil said. "By every metric, they have already reached the level of technology of our base militaries, though not specialized technology like stealth or shields yet. In particular, their ability to have an outsized impact despite their small population due to Phoebe and Edu'frec's control over vast drone and android forces is already becoming a potential concern."
Calanii knew that was true, at least. His own spies within the Alliance had noted the explosion in their fleet size with worry. Their encryption was already incredible, though that was because of their two AIs. Furthermore, they had a whole species that quite literally could not be infiltrated for spying. Perhaps that extended to mind control, as well.
"Estimates place the number of satellites in their stellar constellation within the Sol system at 330 billion. That is enough to power hundreds of times their current civilization's total power usage. Their Mercury-class guns have been confirmed capable of breaching Sprilnav ships, placing them on par with our own battlecruiser weaponry. In terms of fleet numbers itself, they have 11 dreadnaughts, with 13 more assumed under construction, 30,000 battlecruisers, 50,000 carriers, 120,000 cruisers, 500,000 destroyers, and 1.1 million frigates. In addition to that, nearly 2 million drone craft, capable of linking to direct battle networks, directed by Edu'frec and Phoebe. These numbers have not been publicized."
"Quite something, but nowhere near the billions we have," Calanii replied. Those numbers were similar to the reports he'd received. Supposedly, most of that expansion was possible due to Guulin and Acuarfar populations being so high and the wealth of the Alliance skyrocketing along with the average living standards. And most crews were small, with only a little above the number of people necessary to run a ship being placed on one, though all had overlapping specializations. This was most true for humans, which had the ability to take all the typical specializations and roll them into one.
Due to the hivemind, a human could be the best engineer ever seen at one moment and the best pilot ever the next. Its usefulness seemed to know no bounds.
"Yes. But they can put up a fight now, and most of our fleets would be tied up as defense forces in a war."
"And mind control?"
"We have confirmed that there isn't any of it within the highest members of their government. The number of surprise scans has increased considerably, and it seems that their leadership is in a contained panic over the possibility. They seem to be looking for a capability to block the abilities of mind control chips to work period," Hautil reported.
Calanii had a theory.
"You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
"I would not."
So she was willing to lie to his face, then. His own intelligence agencies only had one single spy within the Blue Intelligence Agency. That was how they'd learned the method of placing chips within the brain to directly interfere with any attempts at establishing control. It was likely a stopgap measure since an Elder would likely find a way around it with enough motivation, resources, and time.
"Truth Speaker, yes?" Calanii asked, bemused.
"I am."
"How interesting. I know who you are."
Calanii could almost smell it in her carefully controlled movements.
"Do you? Who do you think I am?"
"You are an Agent. Top 100, most likely. Your control is admirable."
"You have been taught about something?"
"Yes," Calanii replied. "My uncle was a highly connected individual, just as my parents were. We do have our equilavents, you know."
Hautil grinned. "I've run infiltration missions on your so-called 'Star Raiders' before. You don't exactly run it as cleanly as it could be. I could provide some pointers, for a price."
That wasn't exactly comforting. She wasn't just in the lower numbers, either. Maybe he was even talking with someone below the designation 010.
"And you are authorized to give me that information?"
"Yes. I could be said to be a little... high in the hierarchy. Know that this is not to leave the room either. React to me normally at a summit or meeting, and we will be able to establish a proper working relationship."
"I do not trust you."
"And when it comes to the Alliance, I will determine what actions to take."
"Don't wait too long, or they may just decide to seize control for themselves."
submitted by Storms_Wrath to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:53 throwawaytriptaker AITA for choosing to prioritize my vacation fund over giving money to my friend's potentially life-saving surgery?

Hello Reddit, Could you please share your honest opinion with me regarding a difficult situation that has been concerning me? I would be happy to provide the details, although they may be complex and emotionally charged.
I have been saving religiously for a dream vacation that I have been planning for months now. Thanks to my hard work and a decent salary, I was able to save enough money to make this dream come true. I am pleased to say that I was very excited and looking forward to the experience, which is happening in less than a month!
Recently, a good friend of mine received some distressing news. She has been diagnosed with a form of cancer that, although currently at stage two, may require prompt treatment to prevent it from progressing. The doctors strongly suggest that it would be beneficial for her to have surgery at the earliest to eliminate the tumor and minimize the chances of any complications. Unfortunately, she does not have insurance to cover the costs of the surgery, which is expected to cost around $100,000. I realize that I have the financial resources to cover this expense without it having a significant impact on my financial stability. The doctors have stressed the significance of receiving timely treatment. But they have also mentioned that waiting for an extra five months may not immediately endanger her life or necessitate further treatments such as chemotherapy.
I understand that this information has put me in a difficult situation where I have to choose between my long-awaited vacation and supporting my friend during her time of need. In my opinion, it may be more feasible to wait until my next bonus arrives so that I can cover the cost without having to dip into my vacation savings, and thus not having to rebook everything (which would cost even more). Furthermore, I have to admit that it is a bit challenging for me to not feel a slight sense of disappointment that her non-participation in the trip might necessitate some modifications to the budget, which could potentially result in higher expenses for the rest of us (me and 2 other friends are going).
I appreciate your understanding that my hesitation and conflicting desires may come across as selfish. I am struggling with feelings of guilt and trying to work through them. I am pretty inclined to my decision to take the vacation and let her wait 5 more months, but it seems like our mutual friends have differing opinions. Some people understand my predicament and agree that I should put my personal vacation plans ahead of my friend's medical needs, while others are outraged that I would put a trip ahead of my friend's health.
So: Despite the doctor's recommendation for quick action, it's not guaranteed that my friend would suffer immediate mortality or require extra treatments if we wait another five months; am I the asshole for choosing my vacation fund over donating the money for the potentially life-saving surgery?

INFO: My friend has poor credit and told me that if it is not paid upfront they wont be able to afford the payments. I was confused on this too. I am able to pay for the whole thing no problem, and i would never ask for the money back as I am much better off than her. But it would mean delaying my vacation.
submitted by throwawaytriptaker to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:52 Nyrin A console game sharing workaround for EA

DISCLAIMER: I played with a family member this way, on Thursday night for about thirty minutes, on two Xbox Series X consoles. I can't make any guarantees about PS5 equivalence, that it won't boot someone after some extra period of time, or that it won't be hotfixed. YMMV.


METHOD (the classic switcheroo):


I'm gonna go back to playing now, but figured this might help someone, at least. Best of luck, ye Brothers and Sisters of the Horn. And hornless plebs too, I guess.
submitted by Nyrin to diablo4 [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:52 KingoftheRednecks The Void Hunt ch 4


The San later swore the same oath, and a few days later they were stepping onto the Semiramis, exclaiming over the smooth lines and gleaming metal. Cruisers were not normally built for families to have their children on board, so some changes had to be made. What the San had given in trade was more than enough in value, however, and there was room enough to do so without affecting performance. The craft was a sleek, swift fighting vessel, bearing eight boarding craft and more than a hundred and fifty guns—not really enough to take on a dreadnought, but easily the better of any cruiser in the field.
There were cabins, some larger for the many couples that had children, infirmaries, chapels that were completely bare since each species had its own faith and their own trappings to bring, kitchens and canteens, gyms and exercise equipment, even libraries, one of which the engineers had taken time to make into a school. In short, it could be considered a tiny city, or at least a small town, with everything they needed to live for months at at time.
Despite his impatience to cast off and the way his daughter nearly quivered at the sight of the pilot's controls, Mogan insisted on time for everyone to get used to the ship.
Not that the crew was only human, not anymore. Some of the poachers who they had saved, and who had fought beside them in turn, on Noepe insisted on coming with, adding another fifty or sixty Sylfa and Shawing to the crew. Chadnov's wife Karshta, her head nearly brushing the ceiling at five meters, carried two very large infants aboard. And almost two hundred of the Vishtali came, varying between challenging belligerence and those clearly fighting down the desire to flee.
The Vishtali had not been slaves. Not legally, at least; according to the Sovereignty, they were no more sapient than humanity. While they were owned and worked and abused and in more than one raid literally chained to the beds for customers, charges for slavery could not be filed. Legally, they were livestock, not slaves. The boss of the planet Irhost had hired the San to take care of it in an extra-legal, and very definitive, fashion, but they could not undo the damage that had been done.
On their own planet, Vishtali technology remained in the age of steel and steam, with further advances punished. Many of them took to training as technicians easily, finding the electronics easier to work with than the over-complicated steam machines of home. Of the five hundred or so that had been rescued, relatively few continued to accompany them, but those few had more than just their skills. They had what has always been the most valuable commodity to a pirate—information.
On the third day, with the crew feeling more relaxed, the mercenaries arrived, ready to take their stations. The fourth day found Mogan in the captain's chair, looking at a viewscreen that showed the starry void before them.
He was on a dias, where he could see everything on the bridge. Sylfa design preferred a captain's walk, with stations on either side, but this pattern let him see almost every station from where he sat. Burya and Logog, the ship and marine officers, sat in similar chairs at the bottom of the dias, while others of the crew sat at their stations. Most of them had displays for the operators to see, with somewhat larger displays above them so he could see pertinent information immediately.
His daughter sat at the pilot's station, waiting for the order.
Ellisan was sixteen now, old enough to hold an official rank, and even had charge of the ship's pilots—some for the helm, and others for the boarding craft. For the first casting-off of the new ship, there was no possibility that she would let anyone else hold the helm. She nearly bounced in her seat, four hands adjusting controls on the board.
She was a Meht, of two different species, and the first of her kind. Not that she was the first Meht—there had been billions, but they were still a relative rarity in a galaxy with trillions of sapient beings in it. Not any two species produced one; most such pairings ended with no result at all. The San didn't know how many such species they were compatible with, but Ellisan proved that the Sylfa were one of them, and Chadnov's surprise pregnancy and spear-point wedding were proof that the Mantu were another.
Meht were often considered to have the advantages of both parents' species, although that wasn't always the case. Ellisan had her mother's arms—all four of them—and her frame and height, but while her hair was the silver color standard to all Sylfa her skin was a much lighter shade of blue-green. She could pass for a Sylfa if needed, especially with makeup, but she generally stood out. But as much as she looked like a Sylfa, she was able to run with humans, something no Sylfa could manage.
Her shoulders were not built the way human shoulders were; to her great discomfort, she could clumsily hurl an object a few yards, like any other species, rather than the direct, drilling throws of human spearmen and slingers. She could clumsily hurl something with a surprising degree of accuracy if not force, another talent from her human ancestry, but this had meant nothing until she first fired a laser pistol.
Meht were also sterile—at least, except for a very rare few, and Ellisan was not one of those. She had been bitter over that, once, but now it didn't make the difference it once had. Perhaps other things were taking importance, or perhaps the situation had changed, or perhaps it was simply part of her growth. Whatever the reason, Mogan was pleased to see it no longer ate at her. He had tried to paint it as a blessing; before they came to the stars, after all, the day of her first birth was the most dangerous of a woman's life, and she was also spared the cramps and mess that some women went through. He had tried, but he really had not succeeded.
Then again, today was a day to make anybody forget their troubles. The lower officers, newly granted official ranks, stood in a line watching.
The viewscreens along each wall,front and sides, showed the view outside in sharp visuals. In the open area at the front, holograms showed the ship itself, one with the docks around it and one showing only the ship.
Burya, once the chief of the Hanging Rock village, nodded. He was fitting well into his new position; Mogan had worried that the authority would still stress the eighteen-year-old, but so long as Mogan was making the bigger decisions he handled it well. Burya had often seemed the oldest of the group, but now he stood straight-backed and smiling as he checked his wristpad a final time.
“All airlocks closed and checked, all clasps ready.”
Mogan nodded. “release.”
Burya repeated the order. They had expected to feel a change in motion, but the ship's own inertial dampeners easily negotiated the slight change from the station's orbit around its star to the Semiramis' free orbit.
“Helm,” Mogan said, and got a delighted grin from Ellisan. “Take us away.”
Again, none of them could feel the movement. The only real indication they were in motion was on the holos, where one lit up to indicate the engines and the other showed a growing distance between ship and station.
Mogan waited as the ship slowly accelerated, until thousands of kilometers lay between them and Haitac Station.
“Alright, let's put her through her paces. Helm, prepare a full burn.” Mogan manipulated the computation array in front of him, producing a holo of the system, with the ship far smaller. He tapped a point on the holo. “Turn here, to this point, then this, and this.” More points, telling the array to register where his finger was at, describing a series of sharp turns before heading out of the system. “Now.”
They could feel it this time. Those standing stumbled and almost fell as the ship leaped forward. “Full Burn” was apparently a term that harkened back to ancient days when chemical rockets were used, but the gravitic drives were far more powerful. They reached the point sooner than Mogan realized, and Ellisan expertly swung the craft around, engines humming smoothly, to the new course.
Mogan relaxed a little, as they went through another hairpin turn with easy efficiency, and then the third. He had seen enough to know that the turns were not so easy, but that Ellisan's expertise made it seem so—but nonetheless, the ship handled beautifully as they raced forward.
The route took them out of the system, far enough from the sun to escape its gravity, and Mogan tapped what looks like an asteroid on the holo. “There's our target. Caricole left.”
Burya repeated the order into his wristpad, alerting the crew, and the laser turrets and etheric cannon swiveled as far forward as they could go. Those on the top of the craft and forward were readied.
Little was still known about the Etheric Currents. They reacted, as far as science could confirm, to only three things things—gravity, hard light, and plasma. To the Ether, hard light seemed solid. Shielded ships were pushed by those currents, and sapient species had rapidly devised how to make what were effectively sails of hard light that could catch these currents and propel the ship.
Nobody knew how fast the Currents were, if they were truly many times faster than light or if they added speed in some other way, but even slow, bulky freighters could move five or ten thousand times the speed of light. The smallest racing craft—the size of a shuttle but mostly power-plants and shield-generators—could move literally thousands of times faster than that. Shett had told him that the Semiramis would match or beat most destroyers; in a pinch, it could likely cross the entire galaxy in about six months.
Plasma, on the other hand, reacted explosively with the Etheric currents, causing massive force and expansion. This was sometimes weaponized in the use of mines or planted bombs, but the most effective weapon built managed to combine the two; the Etheric Cannon.
The weapon had a firing chamber and a barrel, but both were lined with shaped fields of hard light. The chamber funneled to push as much ether as possible within, and on firing it was closed off and filled with plasma. That force pushed not a projectile but another, moveable hard light shield, that served as a wadding of sorts to shove a small ball.
The cannonballs fired by a heavy cannon rarely weighed more than five kilograms, but they flew at an immeasurable speed, far faster than those swiftest racing ships. On impact, much of that force—the vast majority of it, in truth—was transferred back to the Etheric Currents. This was generally considered a good thing; otherwise even the tiniest projectile moving significantly faster than the speed of light could literally destroy a planet. The force that remained, however, was enough to cause considerable damage to whatever unfortunate object it hit. More importantly, the projectiles were fast enough to make combat feasible even at faster-than-light speeds. Lasers were somewhat useless, after all, when a craft was already moving at several thousand times the speed of light.
The Currents' aversion to gravity was often considered a blessing. Ships did sometimes crash into things, including planets, and a two-billion-ton dreadnought, or even a one-million-ton destroyer, smashing into a planet was cause for absolute devastation. But at least they couldn't hit a planet, or the traffic near a planet, at faster-than-light speeds. That it also slowed travel was considered a worthwhile payoff. That it made etheric cannon useless inside the gravity of a solar system wasn't as well-liked; thus nearly every ship, and certainly every warship, carried both cannon and lasers.
The last time they were in a battle, they could feel the transport they were in shudder, just a touch, as the forward cannons fired. This time there were just the smallest thumps, small enough that Mogan couldn't be sure whether they were heard or felt, and puffs of dust rose from the massive stone.
It wasn't dust, at least most of it, but they were still thousands of kilometers away, far enough for even fairly large boulders to look like specks of dust. An instant later the ship swung left more than 90 degrees, exposing the right side for another volley. On the holo, they could see some of the streaks indicating shots pass right through the asteroid, with so much of it blown away.
The Semiramis flew past, the remnants of the asteroid on their right. Leaders shouted, cheering at the display, but Mogan simply watched, smiling.
“Well.... This will make things interesting. Urgant?”
The Vishtali woman raised two of her four hands—it was hard to raise just one--to acknowledge him and nodded.
“You know the location, yes? Talk with navigation and plot it for us.”
The woman nodded and bent to speak with the woman at that station. A few minutes later, the holo with the map expanded, with the star they were aiming for outlined in a small nimbus of light.
The Semiramis adjusted slightly, changing position, and then there was the slightest hum, almost too low to hear, as the shields came on.
On the other holo they could see the ship suddenly surrounded with a layer of hard light, and then other shields came up, sticking out to the side a little like fins, or the sails he had seen on boats among the Sea People. The ship rocked as the Etheric Currents began pushing, and Ellisan adjusted the shape of them.
The ship picked up speed, although the inertial dampeners made it difficult to notice. They passed the speed of light well behind them as the shield-sails expanded, and then others appeared, to the side. Ellisan adjusted their flight so they were slightly off-course, but the reason why became evident as the ship's speed increased yet further, moving several thousand times the speed of light.
The maiden voyage--and the first raid--of the Semiramis had begun.
submitted by KingoftheRednecks to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 06:51 Admirable-Usual559 How do I deal with a narcissist?

So for context of the current situation, I (15f) recently got caught smoking weed by my dad. He is very anti weed and considers it a dangerous drug. One of those guys that got scared by D.A.R.E when he was in high school and he himself has never smoked weed. I agree that it was a bad idea to smoke in his house. Instead of dealing with the situation like a parent should (by punishing me and having a talk with me, expressing disappointment but loving me at the same time), he blamed my mother and threatened to call CYS or the cops. My mom didn’t give me the pot, he’s just delulu and thinks that she did for some reason. He repeatedly texts me about how disappointed he is in me and how I have forever broken his trust. I’ve been ignoring him, as replying fuels the fire and makes things worse because he wants me to fight him.
This I can understand, the trust being broken and the disappointment. But he’s being very extreme, threatening the police and CYS like it’s nothing to him. Not hesitating to tell me that he will never forgive me for this. Very end of the world to him.
He’s always been a pretty absent dad. He always worked when I was a little kid and never went to any of my softball games or school events, even when he was home. He moved my mother and brother and I 3 hours from our family and almost my entire childhood I never communicated with anyone outside of my immediate family. About 6 months ago I stopped going to his house, and now I only see him every other weekend. His relationship with my mom really messed me up and now I have anxiety, depression, and severe PTSD. When he gets angry he has outbursts, calling names and throwing things and punching things. Basically every form of abuse except for physical hitting. Most of my life I’ve blamed everything that happens between us on myself, even if I know it isn’t all my fault. I took on the absence, the fighting, the suicide threats, the punching and throwing, the divorce, and the manipulation. I personally feel that we barely have a relationship at all even though I’m almost certain he would disagree. He knows absolutely nothing about me, because I prefer it that way as it gives him less to hurt me with later. I would consider my dad a narcissist and I think that he needs serious psychological intervention. Despite my years and years of outpatient therapy and psychiatric treatment, he doesn’t see anything wrong with the way he’s acted and he doesn’t acknowledge his part in my mental illness.
About 5 months ago I started smoking weed regularly. I understand the risk of self medicating with marijuana and it’s a risk that I don’t take lightly as I have a very good reputation and I have a history of addiction in my family. I have found antidepressants very ineffective and they have given me nothing but suicidal thoughts. The weed has been the only thing to manage my anxiety and make life manageable and it doesn’t make me think about dying. I’m a straight A, occasional B, honors student going into my junior year. I think I’m the kind of kid most parents would be proud to have. I don’t party or sneak out, the only bad thing I’ve ever done is the weed. Despite my good gpa and hard work, I was dumb enough to leave a bowl with resin in it at his house and he found it while snooping in my drawers.
I’m not really sure where to go from here with my relationship with my dad. I don’t see us having any sort of good relationship once I turn 18 in about 2 years. It’s been about 3 days since he found the weed and I’ve been ignoring his nasty text messages to me. There is no talking to him. My mom went through the same thing a few years ago when they were married and he found her stash. He also only found less than a gram of burnt flower. I know this because I burnt every pull out it and then spilled the asked on my floor. There was almost nothing to find. He will never ever admit he’s wrong or apologize. If you know a narcissist, you know what I’m talking about. I don’t even know what to say to him. I was sorry, but after he spoke to me the way he did, I no longer feel sympathy for disobeying him. My mom is considering helping me get my medical card, as that will make it no longer incriminating. Does anyone with experience with abusers/crazy people know what to do? Any tips from those without experience? Is it even worth my time to try and repair this relationship or should I just stop seeing him at all?
Let me know your thoughts please.
submitted by Admirable-Usual559 to FuckingAbusiveParents [link] [comments]