👉 6 tbsp. unsalted butter 8 oz. button mushrooms, minced 2 tbsp. minced parsley 3 small shallots, minced Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste 1 tbsp. minced tarragon, plus 6 whole leaves, to garnish 1 bay leaf ¾ cup dry vermouth 2 tbsp. flour 6 large sea scallops ? cup grated Gruyère ½ cup heavy cream ½ tsp. fresh lemon juice
🍜INSTRUCTIONS
Step 1: Heat the Ingredients Heat 4 tablespoons of butter, the mushrooms, and two-thirds of the shallots in a 4-quart saucepan over medium heat. Cook this mixture until it forms a loose paste, which should take about 25 minutes. Stir occasionally to ensure even cooking.
Step 2: Add Parsley and Tarragon Once the mushroom mixture has formed a loose paste, stir in the parsley and minced tarragon. Season the mixture with salt and pepper according to your taste preferences.
Step 3: Prepare the Scallop Shells or Gratin Dishes Take 6 cleaned scallop shells or shallow gratin dishes and divide the mushroom mixture among them. Spread the mixture evenly in each shell or dish.
Step 4: Cook the Scallops In the same 4-quart saucepan, combine the remaining shallots, vermouth, bay leaf, salt, and ¾ cup of water. Bring this mixture to a boil over medium heat. Once boiling, add the scallops and cook them until they are barely tender, which should take about 2 minutes. Be careful not to overcook the scallops, as they can become tough.
Step 5: Place Scallops over Mushroom Mixture Remove the scallops from the saucepan and place each scallop on top of the mushroom mixture in the individual shells or dishes. Arrange them evenly.
Step 6: Reduce and Strain the Cooking Liquid Continue boiling the cooking liquid in the saucepan until it is reduced to about ½ cup, which should take approximately 10 minutes. Once reduced, strain the liquid to remove any solids.
Step 7: Prepare the Sauce Preheat the broiler to high. In a separate 2-quart saucepan, heat the remaining butter over medium heat. Once melted, add the flour and cook until it becomes smooth, which should take about 2 minutes. Next, add the reduced cooking liquid and the cream to the saucepan. Cook the mixture until it thickens, which should take approximately 8 minutes. Finally, add the cheese, lemon juice, salt, and pepper to the sauce, stirring until the cheese is melted and the sauce is well combined.
Step 8: Pour Sauce over Scallops Divide the sauce evenly over the scallops and mushroom mixture in each shell or dish. Ensure that the sauce covers the scallops completely.
Step 9: Broil the Dish Place the scallop shells or gratin dishes under the broiler and cook until the top is browned, which should take about 3 minutes. Keep a close eye on the dish to prevent burning.
Step 10: Garnish and Serve Once the dish is browned on top, remove it from the broiler. Garnish each shell or dish with a tarragon leaf for added visual appeal. Serve the dish while it is still hot and enjoy!
Note: This recipe assumes you have the necessary ingredients and equipment, such as scallop shells or gratin dishes, a 4-quart saucepan, a 2-quart saucepan, and a broiler. Adjustments may need to be made based on individual preferences and equipment availability.
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[This is a repost. Apologies to the mods, I have a new account and I kinda freaked out over the basic precautions against spam. After this post is reviewed and it is received well, I will provide the follow up. This is in the interest of not spamming the mod inbox nor the community feed.]
I had some ideas floating around in my head about the nature of the warp and the emperor, but rather than make an unreadable wall of text I decided to break them down into discrete concepts, and outline them as cogently as possible.
I’m relatively new to Horusy era lore. I always enjoyed the intentionally vague elements about old school era 40k lore, but upon diving in I was pleasantly surprised to see there’s still lots of interesting mystery to chew on.In this particular post, I’m going to be exploring the nature of daemons and the warp.
There are a handful of things that have been explicitly outlined and reiterated as canon across the historiography of the 40k fictional universe, and one of those is the nature of the warp as a pure, untamed, psychic reflection of the materium. It’s explained time and time again by the in-universe writers that the warp entities lack free will or nature unto themselves. They are like forces of nature.
Let’s explore how these concepts intertwine.
1. The warp is a reflection of “reality”.
This is pretty clearly established. There may be fan theories to the contrary, but the closest thing to “canon” on the subject is that the chaos gods and other warp entities emerge as a response to the conditions and the psyches of the material entities that reside in the discrete, physical realm. Earlier lore describes the chaos gods (sans Slaanesh) originating in the middle ages, but that has been semi-retconned to extend them back to the war in heaven.
Take this in conjunction with the fall of the Eldar, and their decadent society causing the birth of Slaanesh (or at least providing Slaanesh with the psychic energy necessary to emerge in our dimension).
Point being, the lore is quite clear that the warp is a reflection of the materium. Almost like a Jungian shadow.
2. Daemons and the chaos gods themselves lack free will.
This is both a standalone point and follows from the first. This is perhaps debatable, but I think the lore again states quite clearly that the warp beings themselves lack souls and agency, and are simply manifestations of primordial forces.
Lets take this a step further, following the idea that the warp truly is a reflection of the materium.
The chaos gods are not the platonic ideal of their domain, or some sort of generative principle that spreads their evil in real space. The reality is entirely the opposite!
Some adherents or even misguided members of the imperial cult may believe that beings like Khorne are foul beings that bring forth carnage and murder into our reality. But the fact is that the opposite is true. Khorne literally is murder and slaughter in our reality. When you pick up a weapon and slay your fellow human, that’s not an act that pleases or empowers Khorne. It literally IS Khorne. Khorne, like all of the chaos gods, is entirely without being in himself. He is simply a reflection of the slaughter and murder that incarnate beings have wrought upon each other since the most ancient times.
What does this mean for the nature of the chaos gods?
It means that all warp beings, including the gods, are mere thought forms. Khorne is incapable of exorcising his will, because he’s simply a reflection of the murder and barbarity of the children of the material world. Similarly, Tzeentch exists only as a reflection of conniving and duplicity, Slaanesh only a reflection of avarice and desire. None of these beings have a domain of their own, they are empowered solely by the emotion and psychic power invested in their respective domains by mortal beings.
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I know this is all elementary, but I wanted to set the stage for the next section, which regards the nature of sorcery.
[I'll include the next portion of the series following. Other intended ideas are going to be the nature of chaos sorcery, whether the emperor was right, and xanthism in light of these concepts.]
“Human” Sorcery and “Daemonic” Sorcery
Why come the mighty gods of chaos seek out to corrupt and manipulate some chem addicted gangbanger in a butthole industrial hive city? What’s in it for them?
In terms of why sorcery is performed by humans, the answers seem pretty self-evident. I’m some trod upon, forgotten soul of the Holy Imperium, nothing but a meat sack to shift some objects around and die unceremoniously in battle or from the conditions in which I labour. The warp gods whisper to me and tell me that I need not serve any man or woman. In fact, I can be divine! I can swim in the sea of souls in absolute freedom, living in immortality and joy for eternity.
This is the lie that the daemons tell.
Are we to believe that the chaos gods are really actually compassionate deities who want to free humanity from the bondage of servitude to a false god? If that’s your head-canon, that’s cool. But I don’t think it’s that simple.
As was reviewed in my previous post, we know that the chaos gods have no power unto themselves. They, themselves are not immortal and have no agency. They exist as a reflection of us, not the other way around.
Sorcery is a pact between daemonic forces and human agents. By manipulating the material realm, humans can draw the power of the warp into reality, effectively “breaking” normal cause-effect, physical constant, time-space reality and releasing the raw potential of chaos. To the chaos gods, this breaking is relatively trivial, especially because they’re not the ones doing the work.
Why do sorcerous rituals use such arcane and symbolic ingredients and procedures? Because the manipulation of physical reality is what empowers the dark gods and their servants. They themselves are only stories and symbols created by the arrangement of objects and agents in the material world.
The Great Lie
What the daemons want us to believe is that the warp is the true primordial source of reality and that by accessing its power we achieve liberation. The fact of the matter is the opposite. The true centre of reality is in fact material existence. It is our embodiment in a discrete section of space and time that makes humanity, and all incarnate beings, the true centre and power of reality. Without us, the supposed “gods” of the warp are nothing.
This is why the chaos gods over-promise and under-deliver. Why do their mightiest servants get transformed into daemons and forfeit their souls? Because the chaos gods are just jerks?
No. It’s because the chaos gods cannot grant physical embodiment or free will. How can they give a subject the things they themselves do not have and cant acquire? To forfeit your body to the “gifts” of chaos is actually to sacrifice what is TRULY divine, your material form, for the wispy non-substance of the warp. Similarly, to give your will to chaos is to become another beast of the warp is who is motivated only by its own primordial nature, not free will.
Conclusion: Why do the Ruinous Powers court and empower human servants?
Because, quite simply, they derive much, much more power from us than we do from them.
Think of a magician, who can manipulate her shadow to take on all sorts of different shapes and forms. That would be a very cool trick.
Now lets say the shadow learns how to manipulate the form of its human source, moving her about at its will.
To the powers of chaos, nothing is more desirable than manipulating physical reality, because it is the generative source for their whole plane of existence.
They lie to human servants and call themselves gods, but in reality, its humanity that is divine, because we can manipulate this most powerful and sacred of planes of existence-- material reality, the source of all things.
Supplementary Speculation: The Great Game
So what’s the objective of the great game then? I’m open to opinions. Here’s mine: There isn’t one. That’s what makes it a game.
The chaos gods are unbothered, moisturized, happy, in their lane, focused, and flourishing. (Either that or they’re resentful of the nature of their damned existence as subordinate beings of humanity and other mortals.) They know there’s no “win condition”. Khorne can’t dominate the whole universe, nor can any of the others, because they’re the shadow of an abstract concept. Yet they have no choice but to play on-- they are what they are, like the fabled scorpion, it’s simply their nature. Out of nothing but that pure nature, they might see their objectives through to the complete destruction of material reality, but is that a win?
What happens when the shadow destroys the object that casts it?
[Apologies again for the repost and the mods' trouble. If this inspires some interesting discussion, I'll introduce the next section : The Emperor was (Sort of) Right!

Packaged Thai Tea from Thailand is loaded with artificial coloring and often fake vanilla. I want to make my own, here is my idea, please give me your feedback!
Assam tea makes a very nice strong cup with malt notes and I think it would make a great base for my Thai tea.
Liquid anatto is natural and used to color cheese orange and can be easily purchased online or in specialty shops. It offers highly concentrated coloring with very little flavor, so I think it would be a good choice.
Pure Vanilla extract is not cheap, but I think it would be a good addition.
To prepare my tea, i will spread the Assam tea out in a thin layer on a tray. Then I will use a very fine sprayer to coat the tea with anatto and vanilla. Let dry and place in air tight container.
Am I totally insane here or does this sound like a reasonable process to make my own Thai tea that can be stored and brewed like the original but without all of the nasty artificial ingredients?
TIA!

Recipe Title: Exquisite Hydrochemical Elixir
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Ingredients:
- 1 liter of pristine, filtered water
- 0.001 grams of dissolved atmospheric nitrogen (N2)
- 0.0001 grams of dissolved atmospheric oxygen (O2)
- 0.00001 grams of trace minerals (optional)
- A pinch of cosmic stardust (optional, for added celestial flavor)
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Instructions:
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1. Begin by ensuring a sterile environment, as the utmost purity is paramount in this intricate recipe.

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1. Carefully measure and pour the 1 liter of pristine, filtered water into a laboratory-grade glass vessel with an airtight lid, ensuring no contaminants are introduced during the process.

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1. With meticulous precision, weigh out 0.001 grams of dissolved atmospheric nitrogen (N2) and gently infuse it into the water, using a calibrated nitrogen infusion system. Exercise caution to prevent any deviations that may disrupt the delicate balance.

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1. Next, with utmost care, measure 0.0001 grams of dissolved atmospheric oxygen (O2) and introduce it to the water, employing an oxygen diffusion apparatus. Ensure controlled introduction to prevent excessive aeration, which may alter the taste profile.

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1. For those seeking an additional touch of complexity, add 0.00001 grams of trace minerals to the elixir. This step can be adjusted to personal preference, as different minerals may impart subtle nuances to the water's character.

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1. For an ethereal touch, consider the optional addition of a pinch of cosmic stardust. Be mindful of its potency and rarity, using only a minute quantity, as it adds a celestial essence that elevates the experience to new dimensions.

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1. Seal the vessel with the airtight lid, taking great care to maintain the purity of the elixir. It is imperative to minimize exposure to contaminants and environmental influences that could compromise its delicate composition.

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1. Allow the elixir to rest undisturbed in a controlled environment free from external disturbances. This will enable the elements to harmonize and achieve the ideal equilibrium, resulting in an unparalleled tasting experience.

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1. When ready to indulge, decant the water into a pristine crystal glass, which enhances the perception of its subtleties. Take a moment to appreciate the clarity, the elegance of its structure, and the symphony of molecular interactions within.

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1. Savor each sip, allowing the multifaceted flavors and intricacies to dance across your palate. The fusion of dissolved nitrogen and oxygen, paired with trace minerals and cosmic stardust, will transport you on a sensory journey like no other.

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Note: This recipe is intended purely for imaginative purposes. Water, in its natural form, requires no complex recipe to enjoy its life-sustaining properties.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full [R-word censored by jobs] to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

Just got this email - so much to unpack here.
"Hi ,
You may remember Pure Urolithin A, an ingredient launched by DoNotAge.org that showed promise in so many ways.
Unfortunately, just a few days into its launch, Nestle*s legal team contacted us with letters threatening legal action in multiple territories.
Nestle is the largest food and drink company in the entire world, currently worth around $330 billion dollars ($330,000,000,000).
One of their many companies has done some research using Urolithin A, and they have protection over its use for muscle growth.
They also sell it for a much higher price than DoNotAge.org
They demand we remove it from sale completely.
DoNotAge.org spoke to our legal professionals, who confirmed that Nestle could not stop us from using Urolithin A (it is naturally occurring in the body, and they only have protection over its use for muscle growth).
We responded to Nestle (via legal teams) saying that we would remove all reference to muscles on our Pure Urolithin A page.
Nestle responded, saying they would not accept this and we must remove it for good.
At this point, DoNotAge.org had already been forced to waste tens of thousands on legal fees.
These funds should have gone towards health research, but "Nestle Health Science" decided otherwise.
DoNotAge.org CEO Alan Graves decided enough was enough after this long drawn out process of back and forth via multiple legal teams.
He responded swiftly, urging them to see sense. He even offered to licence their product, despite not needing to.
He even offered to pay for further research using the ingredient.
You can see an excerpt from his plea below.
"This whole situation is very silly. Our mission is to extend healthy lifespan for as many people as possible, and whilst I understand yours is to make as much money as possible, I hope that you will not act like a pharma company at the detriment to the general publics health.
We are happy to do a deal where we distribute your Urolithin A. We are also open to giving you access to our ingredients such as SulforaBoost and SIRT6Activator, which unlike Urolithin A are actually novel.
We have global reach and this deal can help both organisations grow, and more importantly provide access to these healthy ingredients to more humans.
It would also be great to speak directly with those at timeline / amazentis and stop this silly legal palaver.
You can make money and still do the right thing for human health. You can collaborate, rather than compete.
Also worth noting that we are a health research organisation that provides funding for research, we are very happy to do that with you too!
All you had to do was ask. This offer is still open." So how do you think Nestle responded? You can probably imagine. They declined and continued to act the bully. They will not stop until any and all urolithin a is removed from DoNotAge.org In a final bid to keep this ingredient available to you, we sought further legal advice. We were told that this is a common tactic used by HUGE companies like Nestle. They know that they have no legal right to stop us from providing you access to this ingredient. They also know that they have $330 billion dollars behind them to litigate organisations like DoNotAge.org into oblivion. So, despite the fact that we are in the right, we are the losers here. DoNotAge.org have been forced to pull this ingredient, or face years of wasted legal fees and eventual death once funds ran dry. We cannot afford to let that happen, the health research we do is too important for the future of humans. Big corporations win again. Being right is not all it takes to win, legally. If the bully is big enough, they can win regardless, due to the structure of the legal system. We have been forced into defeat on this occasion, by one of the world's largest corporations. DoNotAge.org would like to thank each and every one of you for your ongoing support as we aim to break this horrendous monopoly on health. We continue to fight for better quality ingredients and fairer pricing every single day.
Many thanks,
DoNotAge.org Team

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

The Stretching Guide
Jewelry-
Wearing quality jewelry is one of the most important parts of the stretching journey. The best material(s) for stretching first and foremost are “Single-Flare Glass Plugs” or just glass jewelry in general; while single flare implant grade Titanium and Niobium are safe to use it is important to get it from a trusted makeseller to ensure the grade labeled is true to the product. Acrylic, silicone, cheap metal, double-flared as well as natural (e.g., wood, stone, horn) jewelry should never be used to stretch piercings let alone in freshy pierced flesh. Here’s why!
Acrylic: Materials like acrylic are quite easily scratched and dented even in packaging which can lead to irritation, and while acrylic is sold as jewelry it is not currently available in a biocompatible or “medical grade” version(s) in the jewelry trade, this means it is extremely hard to know the actual quality and with all the additives used to cheapen the product and worst case scenario leach these chemicals out of the jewelry. This honestly makes them a poor choice in all scenarios. Cheap Metals: Cheap metal jewelry can be safely presumed to be low quality in many ways, either being low polished, coated in low quality metals or just not the proper grade in general. This can lead to swelling and irritation in most cases. If you are going to choose to wear cheap/low-grade jewelry it is important to be sure the area for it to be used in is fully healed beforehand. Silicone: In this case there is a medical grade silicone jewelry provider, ‘Kaos Soft Wear’. Silicone is a poor choice for stretching as it can easily lead to micro-tears, blowouts, irritation, and infection. High-grade silicone is an excellent choice for healed piercings and after stretching has healed but not during either process. Natural Materials: These materials include wood, horn, stone, bamboo, and bone. Though these materials may surpass many types of jewelry in aesthetics they make a poor choice to stretch with and for initial piercings due to their porousness. This aids in trapping bacteria which of course can lead to the worst case, infections, if a blowout were to occur and irritation because of the larger pores in the surface. Having this happen during a stretch or initial piercing can make for a very poor experience which is why it is only recommended to wear these pieces in properly healed holes.
We always recommend buying your jewelry from a well-known manufacturer. Here are some quality jewelry manufacturers:
· Anometal
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• Industrial Strength
• NeoMetal
• Glasswear Studios
• Gorilla Glass

Why Glass Single-Flare Plugs?-
Single-flare glass plugs are the best choice due to having a gentle but steep tapered end making insertion of the jewelry easy and comfortable when your body is ready. Being extremely smooth, non-porous, weighing less than other metal jewelry and with the ability to be autoclaved make it an excellent choice for stretching and fresh piercings alike!
O-Rings-
O-rings are regularly available in Nitrile and Silicone. Though usually safe, some people may have allergies to either of these materials. Signs of an allergy from your O-ring will usually result in redness or itchiness at the location of the O-ring, but it’s important to note not to confuse an allergy irritation with your ears not being ready to stretch as blowouts usually result in the days to come and not so much immediately after stretching. People who do use O-rings can often have trouble keeping them on, whether it be while sleeping or throughout the day, but there is a hopeful fix! The X-Ring - Nitrile No-Roll O-Rings. These O-rings stay where you need them much better than normal O-rings... Unfortunately, they only come in sizes from 8g to 1"(25mm)
Stretching Basics-
Keeping your Piercings Healthy:
Lubrication is necessary when stretching and with everyday maintenance/care. The products below are particularly good for keeping your lobes healthy & moisturized and when mixed with beeswax, they will work for twice as long!
​

• Jojoba Oil
• Coconut Oil
• Avocado Oil
• Emu Oil
• Raw Cocoa Butter
• Vitamin E oil

Always keep your lobes well lubricated!
Especially when inserting jewelry! This helps keep your skin happy and healthy, along with this the process of massaging the area is also beneficial in itself!
-How to Make "Ear Butter"
It is incredibly simple to make your own ear butter.
For it you’ll need the following ingredients:
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• Coconut Oil = 1 TBSP
• Vitamin E Oil = 1 TBSP
• Jojoba Oil = 1 TBSP
• Raw Organic Cocoa Butter = 1 TBSP
• Emu Oil (AEA Certified Always) = 1 TBSP
• Organic Beeswax = 1 TBSP for a soft "butter," or 2 TBSP for a firmer mix

Instructions:
1. You will need two pots, a large pot filled with water, and a small pot to set inside the larger pot which will float on top of the water. This is how you make a double boiler.
2. Place pots on stove, on Low heat.
3. Add all ingredients to the small pot.
4. Slowly allow all the ingredients to melt together.
5. Stir thoroughly & pour into small mason jar or other container and allow to cool at room temperature.
6. When cooled, it should be creamy to slightly firm depending on the amount of beeswax you decide to use. *If it is too hard for your liking, melt mixture back down and add more oils. If it is too soft add more beeswax.*
When you’re stretching your ears and the area has healed, it’s important while oiling and massaging them to also practice being without them. This helps promote a healthier lobe by helping with circulation and prevention of thinning. However, some people may not be able to leave their plugs out for long periods of time but the point is to allow your lobes to rest each day while still being able to gently insert your jewelry again after said period of time. There are of course exceptions such as when you are planning to or have recently stretched already. You should be leaving your jewelry in while you sleep for two to four weeks before and after stretching but should still be removed for about an hour after showering or cleaning once a day to massage and lubricate them. While youre lobes are initially stretching try not to sleep on them and instead sleep on your back if possible or use a specially made pillow like a travel pillow.
· Ear Piercing Pillow
If you happen to have had a blowout that has healed and are trying to reduce the “cat-butt” look, lubricating, and massaging your lobes three times a day may prove to be beneficial, as well, downsizing, may prove beneficial and may also help thicken lobes!
How to stretch your Piercings:
When on your stretching journey patience is a virtue!
The longer you wait in-between stretching your newly loved piercing the better the results!
Below is an approximate timeline you can follow for soft tissue such as earlobes. Remember when in doubt, wait longer.
The following is the approximate time needed to wait in-between stretching softer tissue:
Fresh Piercing 6+ months 14g-12g 1+ month 12g-10g 1.5+ months 10g-8g 2+ months 8g-6g 3+ months 6g-4g 3+ month 4g-2g 3+ months 2g-7mm(1g) 4+ months 7mm-8mm(0g) 4+ months 8mm(0g)-9mm(00g) 4+ months 9mm(00g)-10mm(00g) 4+ months
When it comes to piercings located in cartilage and or other thicker tissues it is recommended to at least double the table above. To reiterate these are just general approximations. It is important to note that some people may need to go slower. It can be VERY hard to tell if you are going too fast sometimes. Stretching is not a race. The question should never be "How fast can I go?" But rather: "How slow should I go to avoid doing any damage."
Everyone’s body is different, the same goes for various locations of the body and stretching them. The smaller the increase in size the safer the stretch will be. You should never stretch more than 1mm at a time especially since it’s become quite easy to acquire glass plugs in 1.0mm and even 0.5mm increments. You can find incremental jewelry sizes here:

• Gorilla Glass .5mm Plugs
• Nirvana Glass .5mm Plugs
• Arctic Buffalo Glass 1mm Plugs
  -Dead Stretching is the process of using single-flare plugs of proper material and simply inserting it into the piercing at a slightly larger size than currently worn once the fresh piercing or previously stretched area is healed fully. You will see a slight gap between your skin and the jewelry when pulled lightly downward. At smaller sizes this may be less noticeable but indicates you are ready for the next size. Dead stretching should not be done with double-flared plugs as the flare is usually another 1-2mm wider in diameter than the size you are ordering. If you ever feel tingling sensations, burning, pain, or any other sensation after stretching, downsize immediately. -Taping is the process of using of using PTFE tape to gradually go up in size over time. Bondage tape is also used but is not always recommended due to it being almost two times as thick and over twice as wide. With this method you would start using this at larger sizes 0g(8mm)+ when you are healed from your last stretch and you start to have a small gap that won’t stretch up to the next size. You would wrap it around your jewelry about two times, lubricate your ears and insert the jewelry. You would then wait for the stretch to heal and proceed to the next available jewelry size. This method though not as safe as dead stretching is sometimes needed, that being said, the taping method can be more of a pain as you should be changing the tape daily to keep it clean which means removing the tape and rewrapping. To make this easier you could use a decent quality caliper to check the size of the jewelry with the tape after wrapping. Taping should be used as a last resort of sorts for people who have waited the appropriate amount of time but still can’t get to that next size. It is also used to help facilitate the stretching of cartilage in even smaller increments than 0.5mm. If you ever feel tingling sensations, burning, pain, or any other sensation after stretching, downsize immediately. -Weights are an addition or replacement of a heavier piece(s) of jewelry that can be used in numerous ways. Weights should always be avoided with new and freshly stretched piercings. Lighter weight can be used to help facilitate stretching in the form of stone plugs or even the addition of Captive Bead or Seamless Rings into sturdy tunnels. These small increments of weight can help get you to that next little step but it is important when using hanging weights to really keep track of how much they weigh. For example, a Rose Quartz 25mm double-flare plug weighs about 18grams, a 0g 5/8”steel captive bead ring weighs about 31grams, hanging weights can be found at about 6-50grams but knowing this also consider that instead of the weight being distributed more so properly like when we wear our plugs, hanging weights will be constantly pulling downward on the same spot of the ear which can lead to the thinning of the area and irritation this can still go for inserting heavier weights through tunnels. It’s important when considering hanging weights to use them temporarily, about 2-4 hours a day. Even heavier stone and extra rings through tunnels should be used in moderation, any excess weight pulling on a specific area can cause thinning if you leave it in long enough. If you ever feel tingling sensations, burning, pain, or any other sensation after stretching, downsize immediately. -Tapers(traditionally) should realistically be considered an instrument rather than a piece of jewelry. Tapers can cause (and often do) severe damage before you realize what has happened and this also includes tapered jewelry. This includes pinchers, spirals and twist pieces alike. Due to the very gradual increase in size this makes it easier to insert larger jewelry before the area is ready causing blowouts, tears, swelling and possibly infection. It’s also important to not wear these types of jewelry to bed as they can get stuck in blankets and pillows! Using tapers to stretch is extremely discouraged in most scenarios though there are some exceptions, being cartilage and other tougher tissue areas(e.g., upper ear, septums, some genital areas). Even though this is the case and stretching these areas is quite different than the standard earlobe it is still recommended to go slow, use half sizes, and be aware of how these areas should feel when stretching. Like any other piercings you can still cause blowouts, tears, and infection. If this is a new journey for you, it is STRONGLY recommended to see a piercer to stretch these areas for you the first few times to figure out how it should be done and feel. If you ever feel tingling sensations, burning, pain, or any other sensation after stretching, downsize immediately.
  
• Proper Tapering set w/ in-between sizes
  
• Snap Plug Stretching Kit 4g-0g, 0g-1/2”
  

Snap-Plugs are a not mentioned very often now adays but are a safer alternative to tapers when/where they can be applied. These plugs snap together in small increments, more so than tapers. For example tapers in mm starting from 4g-0g would be 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8mm with half sizes, whereas the snap-plugs from 4g-0g would consist of ten steps making it less likely for blowouts or tears when of course used properly.
Stretching Cartilage and Other Areas:
When considering stretching cartilage and other tougher areas it’s important to note that this is quite a different experience than stretching tissue like the standard earlobe. As mentioned above, healing and stretching time is about doubled when it comes these tougher areas whether it be septums, upper portions of the ear or even genital piercings like the apadravya. If you plan to stretch these areas you should consider how large you want to go with your stretching journey. If you only plan to go up a couple sizes from the initial piercing, stretching over time is definitely feasible where others who may want to go larger may consider a larger needle gauge or even get it done with a dermal/biopsy punch, area dependent. When it comes to these piercings it’s always recommended when stretching to see your piercer to make sure this is done properly even if only to get a feeling of how it is supposed to go. Stretching these areas even when going about it properly you can and usually will experience some slight pain and thereafter, redness along with tenderness in the area. Just the same, stretching these areas should never involve bleeding, swelling, consistent sharp pain, and shouldn’t feel tender for more than a week or so depending on the person and location. Using tapers should be done slowly, and with respect. Most of you have at least witnessed what happens when ears blowout and the damage improper taper use can cause, adding that experience to cartilage or other tougher areas and you can see why we are so strict with how/when tapers should be used.
Gauge and Sizes:
Once you reach about 2g you should realistically ignore “gauge” sizes as well as fractions of an inch and focus on using millimeters (mm). You can get yourself a decent caliper to measure your jewelry diameter as well as its overall and wearable area to be sure youre receiving and ordering the correct products.

• Quality Digital Caliper

There is nothing worse than buying a new set of plugs or other body jewelry only to find out it doesn’t fit properly.
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GlucoTrust, a 100% natural and high-quality supplement to regulate your blood sugar level.

GlucoTrust, a dietary supplement by Maximum Edge Nutrition, helps to support healthy blood glucose levels in the body naturally with its blood sugar-control formula. According to several GlucoTrust customer reviews, it is among the best blood glucose support supplements available.
This article will examine the blood sugar supplement in depth, including its makers, ingredients and workings, as well as scientific evidence on health benefits. We will also discuss pricing, guarantees, customer reviews, and guarantee.
Let's start by examining GlucoTrust in more detail.
Addendum Name:
GlucoTrust
Sub Category for
Supplement Dietary
Additional Form:
Capsules
Capsules in a GlucoTrust bottle:
30
Description of the
GlucoTrust, a 100% natural and high-quality supplement, helps to regulate the blood sugar level by using natural and organic ingredients.
Characteristics of the Add-on:

• 100% natural ingredients
• Herbal Extracts
• Safety and effectiveness
• Free Side Effect
• Additive-free
• Allergen-free
• Made in an ultra-modern facility
• Research-based ingredients approved by Health Canada

Guideline for Supplement Intake:
It is recommended that you take a GlucoTrust cap daily, before going to bed. This will help balance your blood sugar.
What is the best way to use this dietary supplement?
GlucoTrust can be consumed by men and women over 18 who are at risk of having high blood glucose levels.
Supplier and Manufacturer of Supplement:
Maximum Edge Nutrition
Supplement Ingredients:
Gymnema Sylvestre, Biotin (chromium), Manganese, Licorice Root, Cinnamon and Zinc.
Supplement Pricing:

• Purchase the 30-day supply for $69 each bottle plus $9 shipping fees
• Purchase 90 bottles at $59 each + Free Shipping + 3 Bonus Products
• Purchase 180 bottles at $49.99 per bottle plus free shipping and 3 bonus products

Bonus Product:

• Green Smoothie Recipes that Burn Fat
• Superfoods: The Ultimate Guide
• Breakthrough 3-Day Liver Cleanse

Supplement Refund Policy:
You can return your purchase within 180 days if you are not 100% satisfied.
Where Can I Buy The Supplement Supplement?
The official website of GlucoTrust is where you can purchase GlucoTrust.
We will now begin with a thorough discussion on The GlucoTrust supplements for blood sugar.

Supplement Description – What is GlucoTrust®?

GlucoTrust, a 100% natural dietary supplement available in the market today for both men and women is designed to support a healthy blood glucose level by increasing insulin and decreasing insulin resistant significantly.
This helps both men and women to eliminate high blood sugar levels. It helps improve their health overall and the immune system.
The product is a food supplement that contains only natural ingredients.
The GlucoTrust Formula helps to combat the root cause of elevated blood sugar. The root causes of high blood sugar levels are low insulin and an increase in junk food cravings among men and women. The formula targets oxidative stresses and promotes weight loss. It also helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels.
This formula for blood sugar is made up of 15 natural and plant-based ingredients with antioxidant and anti-inflammatory qualities. The pure and powerful GlucoTrust ingredient, such as licorice roots, juniper berries and others, helps to increase insulin sensitivity and support healthy blood vessels. It also controls blood sugar, enhances immune system function, reduces food cravings and regulates high blood pressure.
We will discuss in the next section of our GlucoTrust Review the manufacturers and how the capsules work.
Regulate blood sugar levels naturally - try GlucoTrust now!

Supplement History – Who are the makers of GlucoTrust?

GlucoTrust, a nutritional supplement that supports a healthy level of blood sugar is available on the market. Maximum Edge Nutrition manufactures and supplies it. The GlucoTrust Capsules were manufactured by a team of experienced health professionals including diabetes doctors and nutritionists. They followed all safety guidelines.
The GlucoTrust formulation contains 15 potent natural ingredients that are approved by Health Canada and have been proven to reduce blood sugar in adults and children over 18 years old. It also helps them maintain normal blood pressure and lose weight.

What is the GlucoTrust diet supplement?

The GlucoTrust supplement helps you to maintain normal blood glucose levels through its powerful, natural and effective formulation. The GlucoTrust formula is completely different than other blood glucose capsules, as it contains ingredients that are natural, plant based, of high quality, approved by Health Canada, and extremely potent.
According to some, your cravings for junk foods are a major factor in a person's struggle with lowering their blood sugar and addressing the health problems that come along with it. GlucoTrust is a health supplement that helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels, insulin sensitivity and suppresses your cravings for junk food and sweets.
The production of insulin in the pancreas begins after the consumption of GlucoTrust. The capsules regulate blood sugar by decreasing insulin resistance and increasing insulin sensitivity. In just a few short weeks, these balanced blood sugar levels can help to strengthen your immune system and promote weight loss. They also improve blood circulation and blood flow, which in turn supports deep sleep.
The GlucoTrust formula for blood sugar management helps both men and women to maintain a healthy lifestyle by offering multiple health benefits. These benefits will be discussed in the upcoming parts of our GlucoTrust review article.
Buy GlucoTrust now and manage your diabetes easily

What Is The Best Time To Take GlucoTrust?

According to the manufacturers, the GlucoTrust supplement's recommended dosage is one capsule per day before going to bed for normal blood glucose levels.
These capsules are formulated with natural and high-quality ingredients to reduce blood sugar levels.
You should take this supplement regularly for at least several weeks to get the best results. This will also eliminate any risk of blood glucose spikes.
You can also read: The Best Blood Sugar Supplements

Be Careful Before Consuming GlucoTrust capsules

According to the manufacturers, there are a couple of precautions users should take before consuming GlucoTrust daily. Below are the precautions:
GlucoTrust should not be used by children under 18 years old.
It is not recommended to exceed the dosage of GlucoTrust without consulting a health care professional.
You should not use this product if your doctor has diagnosed you with an underlying condition, or if medication is being taken without consulting a qualified healthcare professional.
If you have any side effects, or if your body reacts in an allergic way to the GlucoTrust supplement, stop using it immediately.
Get GlucoTrust before it is SOLD OUT
What are the natural excipients found in GlucoTrust supplements?
We will now discuss the ingredients that are blended in GlucoTrust to help control blood sugar.
Gymnema Sylvestre
Gymnema Sylvestre, a climbing woody plant, is indigenous to India, Africa and Australia. Gymnemic acid is found in the leaves, and this chemical gives them their medicinal qualities. Since ancient times, the herb has been used to treat various ailments in Ayurvedic traditional medicine, such as diabetes, obesity and digestive disorders.
Gymnema Sylvestre can have a hypoglycemic (lower blood sugar) effect. This herb regulates blood sugar levels in several different ways:
The production of the hormone insulin can be stimulated by gymnemic acid. Insulin helps to regulate blood sugar. It can also be beneficial to people who have type 2 diabetes and may produce less insulin.
Gymnema Sylvestre has been shown to regenerate cells in the pancreas that are responsible for insulin production. It can improve insulin production as well as regulate blood sugar levels.
Biotin
It is an essential B-vitamin for metabolism. Many foods contain it, such as eggs, livers, whole grains, and nuts. It is available as a supplement and can be found in many multivitamins, hair and nail products and other supplements.
Biotin activates enzymes that break down glucose in the body, which is the main source of energy. Biotin increases glucose uptake into the cells when glucose levels are high.
Biotin is also involved in insulin production, which regulates the blood sugar level. The pancreas produces insulin in response to a high level of glucose in blood. Biotin stimulates insulin production, and increases the sensitivity to insulin of cells. This allows better control of blood sugar.
Biotin deficiencies may increase the risk of type 2 diabetes. This condition is characterized by high levels of blood sugar. The supplementation of biotin may improve glucose tolerance, reducing the likelihood of diabetes.
Chromium
The mineral chromium is vital for the health of humans. The body needs it in very small quantities to work properly. Many foods contain chromium, such as meat, vegetables, whole grain, fruits and grains.
The chromium in our bodies plays an important role in controlling blood sugar. This is done by increasing the effectiveness of insulin, which regulates blood sugar. The pancreas produces insulin, which helps transport glucose into cells where it is used as energy.
The chromium works by binding with insulin receptors located on the cell surface. This helps increase glucose uptake into cells. The result is that glucose levels in the bloodstream are reduced.
Manganese
Manganese is essential for the regulation of blood sugar by helping to produce insulin.
The body uses glucose as a primary energy source, and manganese is essential for this process.
Manganese is also involved in producing the antioxidant Superoxide Dismutase. SOD protects the cells against oxidative damages caused by free radicals that can lead to diabetes. A manganese deficiency may lead to impaired glucose tolerance and decreased insulin secretion.
Licorice root
The root of Glycyrrhiza plant is used to make Licorice Root. Since ancient times, it has been used in traditional medicine for a wide range of ailments, such as coughs, sores throats and digestive problems. Licorice roots are also known for their sweet flavor, which is a result of a chemical called glycyrrhizin.
Licorice roots contain compounds which have a beneficial effect on blood glucose levels. Amorfrutin is one of the compounds that has shown in animal experiments to increase insulin sensitivity, and reduce blood sugar levels. Glabridin is another compound that has been shown to increase insulin production in the pancreas.
Licorice roots also contain compounds that help to reduce inflammation. This can lead to insulin resistance or high blood sugar levels. Chronic inflammation, which is part of the normal body response, can cause a variety of problems including diabetes.
Cinnamon
Cinnamon has shown effectiveness in regulating blood sugar levels. It can firstly improve insulin sensitivity. Insulin helps regulate our blood sugar by allowing glucose into our cells.
Cinnamon helps to increase insulin sensitivity. This means our bodies can better use insulin to reduce blood sugar levels.
Cinnamon can also slow the digestion of carbohydrates. Cinnamon can slow down the breakdown of carbohydrates in our digestive system. Cinnamon can slow down the process and prevent blood sugar spikes after eating.
Cinnamon has also been found to be antioxidant, and can help regulate blood glucose levels. The antioxidants protect the cells against damage from free radicals that can lead to diabetes and other problems.
Zinc
Zinc, a trace element is needed in very small quantities for optimal health. Zinc is present in many foods including nuts, seeds, meat and seafood. It is necessary for enzymes to function properly and plays an important role in cell division and growth.
Zinc is essential for the production and effective use of insulin by the body. Insulin, a hormone produced by the body's pancreas, is responsible for controlling blood sugar. Our body converts carbohydrates to glucose when we eat. Insulin is responsible for transporting glucose into the cells.
Zinc binds to insulin receptors within our cells, allowing insulin to function correctly. The binding allows insulin to effectively transport glucose into cells. Zinc helps to regulate insulin production in the pancreas. This ensures that the body has enough insulin available to control blood sugar.
Juniper Berries
The juniper fruit is the fruit of a tree that grows all over the world. Most commonly, they are used in the cooking of Scandinavian and northern European cuisine. The berries of the Juniper tree have a unique flavor, which is sweet but also slightly bitter.
The berries of juniper trees contain compounds known as terpenes that have shown anti-inflammatory properties. It is crucial to note that inflammation is linked with insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes.
Researchers have also found that the juniper fruit may regulate blood sugar levels by increasing insulin resistance. Insulin, a hormone which helps to regulate blood glucose levels by allowing the cells to absorb sugar from bloodstream. Insulin resistance can cause cells to be unable to effectively absorb glucose, leading to high levels of blood sugar.
Order now before stocks run out!
Supplement Benefits – What Are the Health Benefits of Using GlucoTrust?
This section will discuss in depth the benefits of GlucoTrust, a blood sugar-control supplement.
Maintain healthy blood sugar levels with GlucoTrust Diabetic Formula
The GlucoTrust formula for diabetics is a blend of natural, safe and clinically-proven ingredients such as licorice roots and juniper berries. This powerful formula from GlucoTrust is designed to combat the causes of blood sugar imbalances and high levels of blood glucose.
The GlucoTrust formula for diabetics contains ingredients that are packed with goodness. They help to reduce sugar and junk-food cravings, lowering your blood sugar and supporting effective blood sugar management.
GlucoTrust regulates blood sugar in the body by controlling the rapid release of glucose from your blood vessels.
The GlucoTrust Blood Sugar supplement helps promote deep sleep
GlucoTrust is a health supplement that promotes deep, rejuvenating sleep by blocking the hormones cortisol (which stores belly fat) and leptin. The blood sugar formula of this supplement helps maintain a healthy level of leptin and cortisol hormones in the body. It is made with high-quality ingredients such as licorice roots, juniperberries, etc.
This supplement is a great way to improve blood glucose regulation and blood flow. It also helps with weight loss.
GlucoTrust Reduces Oxidative stress
GlucoTrust reduces oxidative stress within your body. It reduces oxidation throughout your body and improves your health.
The capsules contain high-quality natural ingredients such as licorice roots and juniperberries, which have anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidant properties. This helps to maintain blood circulation and control blood sugar levels.
Consuming These Capsules Can Help Reduce Insulin Resistant
The GlucoTrust Capsules are made with a blend of natural and safe ingredients that have been scientifically proven to increase insulin production and sensitivity in the pancreas. The increased insulin is also accompanied by a decrease in insulin resistance, which helps maintain healthy blood sugar levels.
Additional Health Benefits of GlucoTrust
GlucoTrust capsules have many other health benefits.
The powerful ingredients in this product, such as licorice, juniper, and others, help to strengthen the immune system.
The GlucoTrust formula for blood sugar control helps to improve circulation and boost blood flow, which in turn will help you maintain a healthy blood pressure level and blood glucose levels.
GlucoTrust reduces high blood pressure due to ingredients such as cinnamon.
The GlucoTrust Capsules help promote weight loss because they convert the calories you consume to energy, and do not accumulate them in various body parts.
This product helps to maintain healthy skin and hair.
Get your GlucoTrust today and enjoy the benefits.
Supplement Science – What does science say about the purported benefits of GlucoTrust?
In 2018, a study was conducted to determine the effect of juniper berries (an ingredient in GlucoTrust) on diabetic rats' blood sugar levels. Results showed that rats given juniperberries had lower blood sugar levels than the control group. Researchers found that the antioxidants in juniperberries could reduce oxidative stresses, which are a factor that contributes to diabetes.
In 2019, another study investigated the anti-diabetic potential of juniper extracts. In the study, juniper extracts significantly reduced blood sugar levels of diabetic mice. This study found that the juniper extracts have anti-inflammatory qualities that may reduce inflammation and thus diabetes.
A number of studies also examined the effect that zinc supplements have on individuals who suffer from diabetes. In a study published in Journal of Diabetes and its complications, zinc supplementation was found to improve glycemic management in people with type 2 diabetics by improving insulin sensitivity and reducing blood glucose at fasting.
In a study published in Journal of Ethnopharmacology, licorice extract was found to have anti-diabetic properties in animal models. This study showed that licorice extract improved insulin sensitivity and reduced blood sugar levels in animal models.
In the last study we will discuss about chromium, the researchers looked at how chromium supplements affected glycemic regulation in type 2 diabetic patients. Researchers found that supplementing with chromium improved glycemic management, which was evidenced by lower HbA1c and fasting glucose, along with improved insulin sensitivity.
What are the Bonus Products that come with GlucoTrust bottles?
The makers offer three bonus products free when you purchase the 90-day package or the 180-day package from the official website.
Below you will find the details about these free digital bonuses.
Bonus product 1: Fat Burning Green Smoothie recipes
First, you get "100 Delicious Green Smoothie Recipes that Burn Fat".
You will find in this eBook a collection of delicious and mouthwatering smoothie recipes. The ingredients for these smoothies are readily available in your local supermarket.
These 100 recipes will help to burn fat and maintain a healthy level of blood sugar.
Bonus product 2: Ultimate Guide to Superfoods
The Ultimate Guide To Superfoods is the second digital free bonus.
You will learn about the superfoods you can eat to keep your blood sugar levels healthy and maintain a fit body.
The book also includes information on the benefits of eating superfoods as opposed to processed foods. Processed foods can lead to an imbalanced blood glucose, increased weight, and other adverse health effects. Superfoods, however, promote healthy blood circulation and healthy blood glucose levels.
Bonus Product 3 - The Breakthrough 3-Day Liver Cleaning
Third free bonus digital is the "3-Day Liver Cleanse and Breakthrough".
The eBook contains information on a 3-day routine for liver cleansing that helps you to rid your liver of the toxins that have accumulated over time, causing high blood sugar, obesity, low immunity and energy.
This 3-day liver cleanse routine is also said to help improve the general functioning of your liver and promote weight loss. It can also manage blood sugar levels.
Does GlucoTrust offer a refund policy?
All three of these packages are covered by a 180-day money back guarantee if you're not satisfied.
If the user is not happy with the results of the GlucoTrust pills and feels that their blood sugar level remains high and they cannot maintain the natural hormonal balance in their bodies, they can ask for a full refund, no questions asked.
To receive a full refund, send an email to support @ edelixir . com and include the word "Refund" in the subject line.
GlucoTrust reviews - what do customers think about these blood sugar support supplements?
GlucoTrust is a natural product that has proven health benefits for hundreds of people.
Several GlucoTrust customer reviews state that this is the best dietary supplement that helped support healthy blood sugar levels despite blood glucose spikes. It helps to promote blood flow, proper circulation and reduce sugar cravings.
The benefits include licorice roots and juniperberries, which are potent natural ingredients.
The 180-day money back guarantee was also very popular with customers, as it meant that they could try this supplement without any risk.
Read reviews from GlucoTrust customers
What are the pros and cons of GlucoTrust?
GlucoTrust Blood Sugar Supplement has both pros and cons, just like any other dietary supplements on the market. We have covered the subject in this section.
The Pros of GlucoTrust Blood Sugar supplement
The following are the pros and cons of GlucoTrust Blood Sugar Support Formula:
Everyone can consume this natural supplement, regardless of their age or gender.
GlucoTrust is made with natural, high quality ingredients such as juniper berries and zinc.
Customers have reported no serious side effects after taking GlucoTrust capsules.
All users who purchase the GlucoTrust 90-day and 180-day supplies of this blood sugar supplement via its official site will receive free shipping as well as three bonus products.
The 180-day, 100% risk-free money back guarantee is available to all users.
The Cons of GlucoTrust Blood Sugar supplement
Cons of GlucoTrust Blood Sugar Support Formula
The GlucoTrust bottle can only be purchased on the official GlucoTrust Website, and not any other known platforms such as Amazon, Walmart or eBay.
Results experienced by individuals after consuming GlucoTrust vary depending on blood sugar levels and their body type.
The manufacturers recommend that all users consult a healthcare professional before consuming GlucoTrust. GlucoTrust is not prescription free.
Final Verdict on GlucoTrust – Is this Blood Sugar Supplement Worth Purchasing?
GlucoTrust, a dietary product that regulates blood sugar in both men and women while promoting healthy blood circulation to their organs.
As can be seen by the GlucoTrust Reviews, these capsules are trusted around the world. The capsules have helped to reduce blood sugar risks and support blood glucose management.
These blood sugar supplements are the best because all of their natural ingredients, such as licorice roots and juniperberries, were scientifically proven to have numerous health benefits by different research studies.
You can also enjoy a risk-free purchase with a refund guarantee of 100% on the official website of this company within 180 days from your date of purchase. !
Visit our official site to order GlucoTrust. >>>

I am starting to like coffee but I want to make things cheap and efficient hence the use of coffee powdegranules. Planning to pre-mix dry ingredients for convenience.
Also, i dont want to invest much on gadgets or tools thats why buying coffee grounds/beans is not my option.
What brand of (pure) instant coffee can you recommend? Is there something similar to brewed coffee when it comes to taste?
Thanks guys!

Now that we're past the submission deadline, I thought it might be fun to post and talk about the different paths everyone came up with. Naturally, if this is something that's supposed to be more hush hush until after the winners are announced, go ahead and nuke it from orbit mods. It's the only way to be sure.
I'll start. I was really coming up against the character limit, so I wasn't able to talk about the *ahem* flavor as much as I would have liked, but I wanted to create a path that could fight, but was intended around something non-combat. I decided on cooking!
Path of the Flame’s Bounty
Goldsign: Hands and forearms of living steel
Madra aspects: Fire and metal
Iron body: The Ember Well Body. The user must cycle their Flame’s Bounty madra while being exposed to extreme heat and wrapped in layers. The point is not to shed the heat, but to take it in, hold it, endure. The strongest sacred users of this body are said to bathe in volcanos and slough off the red dragon breath like a light summer rain.
Enforcer: The All-Palate. The fire stokes, the metal controls. Flame’s Bounty madra, when applied to the body, boosts the reception of the senses while providing stability against overload. A master of the technique can see twitches in his opponent’s muscles, hear his heart increasing prior to movement, smell hidden dangers, and ignore the pain of attacks, if admittedly not lessen the damage. More importantly, they can create heavenly spice blends, portion ingredients by weight, and even tell when a cake is perfectly done by the sound of it baking.
Forger: Sous Hands. A battle keeps a fast pace, and a good kitchen no less so. Sacred artists of this path have learned to forge extra limbs from their madra, able to be distinguished by being made purely from dark metal with a pulsing glow deep within. Most typically they add two extra arms down their torso, to aid in attacking, blocking, and food prep. More experienced artists can make extra limbs, place them in unconventional places, or even form them into weapons and tools as needed.
Ruler: The World’s Oven. Not everything is subtle. Sometimes you just need to turn the earth and sky around you into a sweltering oven. And if you happen to roast your enemies, well, even the hounds can have an excellent meal now and again. Nothing flashy, just slowly raising ambient temperatures.

Welcome to MySunPure Grocery, your reliable source for high-quality Vanaspati in Bangalore. Vanaspati, a versatile and essential ingredient in Indian cooking, is now easily accessible through our online grocery store. We understand the importance of sourcing the finest Vanaspati, and that's why we offer a curated selection of trusted brands that prioritize quality and taste.

I am F 28 1,90m 140kg (according to google 5'7" and 308lbs). I had many day ones during the last years, I think my first day one on this subreddit was back at 120kg. Obviously that didn't go well. It's not like I am mentally unwilling to get my weight loss going but if I look at my overall situation health-wise, finance-wise and living-wise there are so many issues that I can't influence and that make it even harder to lose weight, that I simply do not know where to start to fix things.
To give a bit more hindsight to my troubles:
Health-wise: I have nerve damage in my leg. Due to it I neither can walk nor stand for more than 30 min tops. It starts with numbness, then stinging pain and at the end my whole back hurts like hell and I can't move for the rest of the day. Years of chronic headaches that make me take painkillers everyday made me numb to most common painkillers as well. Top if off with early signs of arthritis in both wrists and I pretty much don't have any part of my body left that I could functionally use for regular sports.
Finance-wise: Working on a minimum wage sustaining two people in a two people apartment since my room mate recently lost their job. We expect them to not find a new job anytime soon nor will unemployment money cover more than rent without monthly costs. That means my minimum wage money will have carry to my part of rent, both our parts of monthly costs, both our food and whatever unexpected problems may come our way. I do not have any savings cause until earlier this year I earned even less (they just recently raised minimum wage in the whole country which gave my salary the minimum boost). So I cannot afford a gym, especially since there is none in walking distance of me, which would mean spending more of the already expensive gas to get to one and I already barely make it through the month with enough money to fill my car to get to work.
Living-wise: Living with said room mate brings bunch of food-organising problems. They don't like most veggies if they can still make a "knack" sound when biting on it, so only soft cooked veggies. Pure veggie dishes are a no no either and half the veggies out there are just generally a no. Every dish needs to either have noodles, rice or potatoes with it and in general is the direction of our dishes very calorie-heavy even if they sound like they might not. Said room mate tried a few times to join me in the endeavour of healthier eating and calorie counting but the counting always became a chore that made them stop. And since they cook most of the time (cause I can'T stand in the kitchen that long due to my bad leg), them not weighing the ingredients and counting the calories makes it almost impossible for me to keep track of my dinner intake. Them also very quickly reverting to old eating habits make it tough for me to keep my stance on healthier habits going. And due to me having to finance all our food already, it's also not an option to do separated cooking.
I have exactly two means of home sport activity, one being a 20yo stand-bycicle, which can't count any stats anymore since the display is broken and which is very hard to sit on. I also can't use the handles on it as I can't change their position and leaning on them gets me into bad posture. And a VR headset with multiple high activity games (Beat Saber, FitBeat and a Viking Drum game I forgot the name of) which are fun but require A to stand and B hurt my wrists with prolonged playing.
All in all it feels like no matter what I want to do, there is so much that will make it impossible to lose weight, I just can't get started to begin with. Top it off with me being a very emotional stress-eater on a sugar addiction and all I have is a devil's cycle of only ever gaining more weight and sinking deeper into selfhate. Health is one motivator of mine to lose weight cause I just can't deal with myself anymore as I am but if I am not my only enemy, how am I supposed to win the battle? Another reason is that I am in love with someone I met online. We never met irl but I also fear actually meeting them and them not liking me irl due to my terrible looks. It feels like a ridiculous reason but he's the reason I got the VR set since it helped him to lose weight and maintain and I hoped it might help me as well. It is a lot of fun but my body just has such low limits, it doesn't even feel worth it if I can only do 30 min every 2-3 days at best.
I think what I might need is professional help but all help I could get costs money I don't have. My doctor and my insurance are both not really helping me in that regard, so I feel pretty left on my own with no clue how to make a plan that can help me get started.

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