my k-12 was a private uniform school.
first comment here, i dont know if the requirements have changed, but back when, we didnt have a number of uniforms requirement, just that it was clean and presentable. the uniforms during my time also didnt change much if at all, so long as it fit properly, we could use the same uniform each year.
second bit here, while there was a specific place where we have to get a few particular items, most of the uniform could be generic walmart dress clothing. for steffs point, i cant talk too much about it, as im a male, but the girls/ young ladies had some strict guidelines when it came to uniform/ clothing accessories. i dont recall them wearing high-heels, no one was ever toting around a purse, and students werent allowed to wear much, if any jewelry at all.
third bit, as for the social aspect, we had the opposite experience. when out in public, while in uniform, if we were in a large group, we had a sense of pride of belonging to the same thing. and when in small groups, or solo, we represented being part of something larger.

I (20, F) had a bestfriend (20, F), let’s call her steff, who basically broke contact with me because I got a boyfriend.
We have known each other since 6th grade and was inseparable until we started high school. We started in the same school but different classes. I got one friend in my class which is the only friend I hanged out with from my class (this is important for later). At the start of high school I met this guy from another school and fell in love. Steff told me she didn’t want me to stop hanging out with her and text her which I told her of course not. Because that’s what had happen with her earlier friends (who kind of were assholes from the beginning, she told me everything). We became a couple and me and steff kept texting and hanging out for a while.
My boyfriend had a friend group from earlier, and his friends got new friends in their new schools. So in the end we ended up as a friend group of 13.
Me and Steff stopped hanging out alone even tho I asked her many times if she wanted to do something. One time she said “but you’re always with your boyfriend”, which I answered yeah I’m at his house but I can still hang out with you, because they literally live in the same city so it would be easier to hang out with her now then before. She didn’t ask me a single time and all the plans we made when I asked never happened. By this time I felt tired of having to ask her over and over but not being asked back.
After half of the school year was done I decided to change schools. I had a long way to school and didn’t really like the class I picked. We still hung out with our friend group tho and had fun.
Now me and steff don’t text at all, we don’t hang out. Me and my boyfriend don’t really hang out with the rest of the group either, only with his old friends who I like very much.
One afternoon my friend told me about some things three of the girls had told her. They said that I had left Steff all alone, that she was so sad and all of that. And that they didn’t wanna hang out with me because I had left her because I got a boyfriend. So I wrote to her. And we had this long conversation, she was so mad at me and told me I had left her but I kept telling her that I didn’t and I tried to keep it as before.This conversation lasted a few days and ended where we both said sorry but we both knew nothing could go back to how it was before. I still don’t think I really have anything to be sorry about. And I still feel the grudge she holds against me.
Steff still hangs out with this friend group and became best friends with the one I made friends with in my old class. Me and my boyfriend stopped hanging out with them because all they did was drink alcohol and go to parties which wasn’t really our jam.
So, AITA?

Summary: whilst you aren’t the typical party goer, you couldn’t miss the opportunity to crash the popular kids birthday party. After sneaking in with your friend, you manage to squeeze into a game of spin the bottle which soon turns out to be a gateway to 7 minutes in heaven. Unfortunately for you, the very birthday kid and lifelong enemy seems to be the one you’re fated to share a closet with tonight.
[A4A] [M4A] [F4A] [Anyone But You] [Enemies to Lovers] [Spin The Bottle] [7 Minutes In Heaven] [I Hate You] [But Damn] [Kissing] [5 More Minutes] [Party Ambience] [Forced Proximity] [Small Space] [Fake Kiss] [Speakers Birthday] [Another Kiss] [Just One More] [Let’s Stay] [Heart to Heart] [Romance]
This script is open to be monetized and used, all I asked is that credit is given if you choose to fill this script. Making small changes to the script and to gender of speakelistener is okay. ScriptBin link here!
Plain text for speaker
[SFX options and description]
(tone suggestions)
​
[SFX: loud party music, drunk teens yelling]
[You begin to make your way through the party, the endless bodies of drunk teens making it rather difficult. A game of spin the bottle in a quieter room provides you some escape from the sea of teens, and you quickly take your seat.]
(coming in from the busy room, faint to clear) I swear if anyone breaks my parents vase I am going to be pissed. Yeah I hid it in one of the locked rooms, but you know Steff is going to pick the lock – Oh wow, there’s a game of spin the bottle going on already. You want in? Of course, I’m going in! I want my birthday kisses from a random cutie.
[The very birthday bastard steps on into the room. You manage to hide behind a taller student for now, though you doubt they will actually recognize you.]
As the one throwing the party, and it also being my party, I would like to announce that I’m turning this game of spin the bottle into a front for 7 minutes in heaven. There’s a closet in pretty much every room of this house, so we might as well put them to use. Sound alright with everyone?
[The group agrees, and the game continues.]
Very well, now lets get this game underway. I’ll be nice enough to let whoever started the game up to go first.
[The game continues, you watch as people go off in pairs.]
[SFX: bottle spinning, people getting up and leaving]
Alright, my turn. Let me see who’s the lucky person that gets to kiss me tonight. It’s my birthday, so they better make these 7 minutes really worth it.
[He spins the bottle, you watch in anticipation as it spins, slowly coming to a stop. And you bet your ass its point at you]
Let’s see, who’s the lucky person who gets to kiss me – wait a minute. Do I know you? (turning to talk to someone else) Will you stop pushing me? I’m getting up already, don’t need to be shoved into my own closest. I got this, don’t worry.
[You’re both shoved into the closet, a small bit of light coming through the crack.]
Hold on- I do know you! Shit, what did I do to end up in here with you. I know I spun the bottle! Fucking dumbass, I mean what did I do so bad that karma ended up putting you and me together. No, it is that bad. You’re the biggest nerd I know and now I have to either kiss you or miss out on my turn of seven minutes in heaven.
[SFXX: Banging on the closet door]
(shouting) All right! Leave us. Now! (whispering) Look, why on earth are you even here? From my knowledge, you weren’t even invited to my party. My party, might I add! We hate each other, so out of all the parties to crash why mine?
Don’t bother answering, I’m not going to believe you no matter what you say. For some reason, you’re here now and stuck in a closet with me. I’m not sure if this is more torture for me or for you, but either way we’re stuck here for 7 minutes. Possibly more considering they might be kind enough to offer me a few extra minutes, which once I might have been grateful for, but no it just means I’m stuck here with you, for longer. Did I mention its you?
(small pause) Why? I hate you because you’re a nerd, loser, and loner who keeps appearing in my way. At school, after school, at the park, and now at my own party. Jeez, I put out into the universe that I don’t want to see one person and boom they’re everywhere.
You are so that bad. Look, we are not friends. Not even frenemies, enemies even. In fact, when I see you, I audibly groan. I feel so disgusted I almost throw up, I actually want to throw myself into a brick wall, not even that I –
Why do you look like that? (small pause) No you look sad, why sad? Has it finally dawned on you that you ruined my birthday party by destroying one of my chances to kiss a random person?
Oh… Well, when I usually insult you, you just throw one back at me. I didn’t think I actually hurt you when I say these things, you’re more of a loser than I thought. Right, sorry. Look, you’re a nerd and all but that’s not why I hate you.
No, it isn’t. If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re pretty great. Too great, actually, which is part of the reason I hate you. You’re too perfect, like untouchable by misfortune. You get good grades, you’re smart- well book smart not street smart, I’ve seen you nearly get run over more times than I can bare to count.
Right, back to topic since you just want to hear me sing your praises. The fact is, when I see you, I see this cute little perfect being who lives in a bubble of perfect and eats perfect little bowls of cereal for breakfast.
Okay what I’m trying to say is that you made me jealous! That you live in this perfect world and you’re always so nice, no matter how bad of a day you look like you’re having or how many times I’m mean to you. I’m mean to you cause you’re perfect and I want to be the one bad thing to make your world less perfect.
You seriously only got from all of that is that I called you cute? You’re dumber than I originally thought.
[SFX: Footsteps getting close to the closet]
(whispering) shit, I think someones coming in. Quick, kiss me. Yes I’m serious! Kiss me, we need to like make them go away and if they find us talking they’ll kick us out. Shut up and kiss me nerd.
[SFX: kissing. Smooch the hell out of them baby <3]
[They lean in for a kiss, cupping your cheek and pulling you in close. They kiss longer than they need to, the commotion of whoever came in to inspect leaving after a few seconds.]
(in between kissing) sh, just one more. A little longer. To make sure. Can’t be to safe.
(slightly out of breath) Huh. No no, nothing wrong. Just, you kiss pretty good for a nerd. Thanks- wait that better not be implying I’m also a nerd because I will take back all those nice things about you. I’m not no nerd and you know it.
I mean, I did mean them. Yes, I’m sure I did. Guess I’m failing to make your day worse now huh? (insulted) Come on, I know my kissing isn’t that bad! I have had plenty of practice and large majority of those who have experienced –
Not what you meant? Gotcha, I’ll shut up now.
[SFX: kiss them again. A good kiss. Do it]
Hm, let me think. I rate this closet experience a solid 7/10. Got to kiss a cute nerd, but definitely needed more kissing. What do you mean we can fix –
[Cut off with another kiss]
-that. Gotcha. I think my extra birthday minutes are going to come in now. If anyone disturbs us again, we can just make other kinds of noises, and we don’t have to fake those if you like.
[They give a little chuckle, pulling you onto their lap and grabbing your hips.]
Get on my lap, I want to do more than just kiss you now. Think of this as me making up for all the times I called you something I didn’t mean, and there’s a lot of them so we might be here for a while.

Aazar, Badjokes - Freak
Above & Beyond - 10 Years of Group Therapy part 2
Afrojack, Dr. Phunk - Party Girl
Alott - Insomnia
ARTBAT, David Guetta & Idris Elba - It's Ours
Bart Skils - Horsepower
Bingo Players - Supersized
Bishu - Miss u
Blasterjaxx - He's a Pirate
Blastoyz - Colosseum
Bobby Neon - DFBL
Brett Allen - Greatest Track ever made
Bryan Kearney - Kaia
BT - Flaming June (Dan Thompson Remix)
Calippo - Speed of Light
Chapter & Verse - So right
Cihanback ft. Kery Fey - Feeling Alive
Club Zero Cool Vol. 3 (Compilation)
Colin Crooks - Never good enough
Croatia Squad - Majestic
D72 - Burning
Darius & Finlay - Face Melt
Darkzy - Go
Decimate - Purple Saloon (EP)
Deerock - I remember
Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike - Age of Love (2022 Remix)
Dustin Husain - Dreamwalker
Ekko City, Movada - Move on
Emma Hewitt x Richard Durand x Nourey - COLLIDE
FEEL, Papulin, Ren Faye - Way Of Magic
Flowidus - Sensory Overload
Gabry Ponte - Never be alone
G Jones and EPROM - R.A.V.E
Graphyt - Ravolution (EP)
Honey & Badger - Connection (EP)
Hugel, Jude & Frank - Rio Rio
Hugo Cantarra - Out of Time
JiV - Scattered
Justin Prime, Voster & Gallardo - Lost & Found
Kyau & Albert - Velvet Morning 22
Little Comp of Horrors Vol. 4 (Compilation)
Lucas & Steve - Rage
Maddix - Heute Nacht
Marshmello, Juice WRLD - Bye Bye
Mat Zo - Colours (Tsu Nami Remix)
Max Styler - Move my Feet
Mike Williams, Robbie Mendez - Ambush
Modestep - Diamonds (EP)
Nicky Romero - Myriad
NOVH - Falling in Love
Ørjan Nilsen - Hung up (Night Version)
Öwnboss - Left & Right
Qlank - Workshop (EP)
QUIX - Crew
Remk - On The Coast EP
Renato S, Naems - Welcome to the Jungle
Riot Ten - Check this
Sabre - Space Invaders
Sam Smith, Kim Petras - Unholy (Disclosure Remix)
Sergio Marini & Luke - The Moon
Showtek - In my Soul
Sian - Chemicals (EP)
Sohmi - Somebody
Solah - King (Album)
Something Good - Rhythm (of the Night)
Somna, Mike Schmid - Me Minus You
Steff da Campo, SLVR - Papasito
Stoned Level - Shinobi
Timmy Trumpet, Rave Republic - Ole Ole
Timofey, Gregor Potter - Sweet Dreams
Tisoki - No Rules
Tom & Collins - Se Va
Tough Love - Jacking
Tsuki - Stay with me
Tuff London - Hold on
TVBOO - Blue Collar Bass (Album)
U Know Who - Beast Mode
Vivid - Hypnotized
Wildcard (US) - Back in '89
Will Sparks - Pills (Deborah de Luca Remix)

I’ve (F32) been slowly distancing myself from my highschool friends since 2019. The reason is just because I thought we were one big family but then I learned there were cliques etc.
I was quite naive and aloof so I thought we were a “friends forever” group but now that I have one foot in and one foot out I hear A LOT of opinions from others that I never knew existed before. And it makes me a tad sad.
Example: - Rachel is frenemies with Steff

• Lisa feels left out and dislikes Rachel because she feels she ignores her lol
  
• No one likes Tammy but puts up with her
  

To name a few.
It was a surprise to me to find out there was so much gossip and two-faced people that were in my group. Again I thought we all loved each other and accepted each other but it seems like it’s just everyone “putting up” with it bc they don’t have anyone else.
Do you think this is common in friendships from highschool?
I feel I’ll never be able to go back to the group anyway because it feels fake and it’s not one big family vibes it’s always a tad toxic and judgey.
I wonder if this is just common in those big friend groups when you get into your 30s?
I also feel people are more judgey in your 30s

These results have been sitting in the sheet for a couple of weeks, but I completely forgot to make a post for them: my apologies! Let's run through these races, including two monuments with potential for great scores!
Paris-Roubaix
Picks
You'll have to cast your minds back for this one, but Wout van Aert's leadership status in Jumbo-Visma was still doubted as of Roubaix, which explains his two picks, and the Konstant Küng was our favourite instead with nine picks.
The SRFL winners of Paris-Roubaix picked Wout van Aert: veggielegs21 and grabmygrimleys! Van Baarle won the race but his extra pick pushes him just under Van Aert's score for u/Mattho, u/derwipok, and u/brandoncorskey1. u/bassmanyoowan and GC leader u/f1phoenix round out the podium with, once again, Matej Mohoric, 5th in Roubaix!
Flèche Wallonne
Picks
Warren Barguil rides the hivemind wave to the top of the SRFL picks list ahead of conventional favourites Pog, Ala, and the Cherbourg Cheetah.
The SRFL winner of Flèche Wallonne is u/baat: a unqiue pick for an unexpected winner: Dylan Teuns! In fact, the SRFL podium mirrors the actual race result: Valverde and Vlasov finished 2nd and 3rd in SRFL and IRL. They both had two pickers: u/wurthskidder, u/Cletus_Awreetus, u/SoniMax and u/discowhippet.
Eschborn-Frankfurt
Picks
You lot avoided a lot of sprinters with question marks, but that's not the SRFL way of winning!
We've put this race earlier in the running order because it nicely mirrors Flèche: a unique pick winner, and once again the podium is the same in SRFL and IRL: but the entire podium was full of unique picks! u/brendancorskey1 wins with Sam Bennett, ahead of u/Eyeconoclastic with Gaviria and u/Gta352 with Kristoff.
Liège-Bastogne-Liège
Picks
Who else but classic SRFL favourites Aleksandr Vlasov and Daniel Martinez could be the top picks for SRFL? Cumulatively this season, their number of picks must be greater than or at least equal to Pog and Wout's.
The SRFL winners for LBL both picked the winner Evenepoel: u/Perlut and u/andytheciderman! A couple of unique picks sprinted for the SRFL podium in the group behind, but not including ultimate dark horse Quinten Hermans. Instead, the next positions go to u/Ruqki (Higuita) and u/aidikay (Teuns).
Tour de Romandie
Picks
More Vlasov? More Vlasov. And what's more, y'all were actually right in this race! He won! Good job!
The SRFL winner, however, in what is one of my favourite results so far this season, is u/ssfoxx27 with Steff Cras! Only the second SRFL rider to win a race from outside the top 10 since Thymen Arensman in the inaugural UAE Tour, coming in 11th in GC. u/Ruqki and u/Dusse83 come next with Ben O'Connor, an positive_ad2228 rounds out the podium with Sepp Kuss, also outside the top 10 in GC.

General Classification

Top 25
u/f1phoenix retakes their lead from u/RaylanGivens8, who is also passed by u/aidikay thanks to the latters' fantastic Liège result. u/GrabMyGrimleys climbs from 10th to 4th after scoring in all 5 races this update including their Roubaix win, and the same can be said for u/baat who's just one place lower!
The graphics department was too tired to update the medal table, but u/grabmygrimleys becomes the third multiple-gold winner alongside u/rjbman and u/f1phoenix, and special mentions go to new multiple medalists u/Ruqki, u/SoniMax and u/brendancorskey1!

Find the full results and standings here!

Hey. We are a small group of 6 dutch tarkov players. We play in teams of 2,3,4 and are looking for another dutch or flamish player. We are between level 10-24
My discord: JustSteff#0102

Hey. We are a smakl group of 6 dutch tarkov players. We play in teams of 2,3,4 and are looking for another dutch or flamish player. We are between level 10-24
My discord: JustSteff#0102

Part One for those interested.
​
One week later. The phallic image penetrates my hippocampus with as much unwelcomeness as its first appearance on a horribly inattentive, questionably attractive contractor's phone. Only now, the mystery meat has a name. SPC Johnson.
During the conversation with my squad the week prior, I learned that SPC Johnson was in B company. Apparently, the legend of his massive member had followed him from AIT, as several of his training unit members were assigned to the same battalion. The question remained, could this really be him? Based on my soldiers' description of SPC Johnson - thin frame, glasses, very white, massive cock - they could have been talking about Jordi El Niño Polla.
How could I possibly verify this information? How could I draw the connection between SPC Johnson and the woman, whose name I hadn't learned yet? I was grasping for ideas for days. Private Investigator? No, too expensive. Rumor mill? Terribly unreliable. I needed an expert on penises, someone who would do it for free and for little else than the simple gratification of solving a mystery. It was then that an idea began to form in my mind...
Enjoys joking about dicks...
Enjoys looking at dicks...
Gets weird in the field...
Competes to do the grossest thing in the unit...
"OH SHIT!" I said, and the six tables in front of and behind me at the DFAC went silent.
"Sorry..." I said, startled by my own outburst. "Forgot... I'm... on CQ today."
Aaahhhhh.
Sucks to be you!
Damn man you better hurry before sarnmage comes and finds you.
I really did have CQ that day, and had already done half my shift before switching out with one of my Privates to go grab chow. The way our unit worked was actually pretty slick. You do a 12-hour day over the weekend, and First Sausage gives you a pass the following Friday. I told you this unit was pretty dope, right?
I picked up my tray and hurried to the nearest trash line. I knew who... or what, I needed. Because everyone knows that if you tell this person there's a legendary cock that needs finding (or especially fondling), they will go anywhere, fight or fuck anyone, overcome any obstacle to track it down.
I needed a Cav Scout.
Thursday, 1700. NCO Meeting after final formation.
"And I still need that signed 362 from PFC Jameson for that ruck." said SGT Stevens, our newly promoted Supply NCO. Stevens was... well, Stevens was a jerkoff. An especially jerky jerkoff [I had something else here but auto-mod removed the post for it] that even SPC Johnson's massive cock wouldn't be able to please. You know how suddenly, sometimes, when a SPC gets promoted, it's as if you just installed truck nuts on a Prius? Yeah, that's this guy, but he also had the power to take your damn money if you weren't shit hot on keeping receipts. And believe me, he enjoyed it. Cap on your PVS-14 go missing? Statement of Charges. Lent your cold weather gear to a buddy and he came back somehow with the wrong size? Statement of Charges. Somehow have two sleep systems? First of all that's mine, and second of all FUCK YOU JENSEN.
"Clear." said SSG Foraker, the supply sinner's squad leader. Funny thing about Foraker, this guy was the personification of the phrase, "I care. I just don't give a fuck." We were quickly becoming friends.
"Going around the room..." 1SG Simmons said in his assertive fashion, and proceeded to offer an on-tempo, lazy knife hand at everyone at the table as if he was conducting a monotone orchestra.
"Clear."
"Clear Top."
"Cuuuhhhh-lear, Top."
"Clear, Top."
"Alright," he said, "SSG u/MattyJRobs, enjoy your day off, everyone else, I'll see you at 0600 PT formation. Commander wants to do a company run."
"Yessss..." said Stevens. Because of course he fucking loved Company runs. 1SG Simmons occasionally let Stevens call cadence, and you better believe anytime Stevens got the opportunity to take up a position with even a whiff of authority, he was rock hard. To his credit, he did probably call some of the best cadence in the company... but you'll never hear anyone compliment him on it. The dude compliments himself enough for all of us.
I enjoy my long weekend. My apartment is clean and I'm burning the leather-scented candle my sister got me for Christmas, trying everything I possibly can to create an atmosphere to produce manly thoughts and purge penis thoughts. I am not successful.
Wednesday Afternoon. Area Beautification.
FUCK it's hot out... I think to myself. The group of us assigned to the front of the company area are all pulling weeds, and when we're done here we have to go help up at battalion. Besides the heat, it's one of those pleasant kinds of days that sure, you're hot, but then you catch a breeze and it's the next best thing to sex. We finish and pack up, throwing all of the refuse in the back of an LMTV.
"Do we wanna stop at the dumpster before battalion, Sarn?" PV2 Fresney (or "Fez" as we like to call him).
"Nah, there's plenty-uh room. Let's just go."
We arrive 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the companies. The joes start to unpack the truck of what few broken gardening supplies we have and start scoping out their choice areas. Not long after, I hear the whirr of another LMTV pulling up, followed by the HURRRR, CLICK, HISS of it coming to a stop and the brakes engaging, and the slam of the back tailgate. Out of the front, a rather short and stout E-5 climbs down. With his arms extended above his head as he lowers himself down, I can see that we prefer the same brand of moisture wicking underwear with the cock sock on the front. You know the kind. Breathable. Silky. Feels like an angel is gently cupping your balls. I form a one-way bond with the man, that only comes from preferring the same undies.
I read his nametape as he struts up to me, detail following close behind, hiking his pants up and dribbling sweat from his chin. I can tell they were probably doing the same details as us all day.
"Ay Steff Sarn, Ah'm Sarn Waaaahhhhley." he said, extending the 'I' sound in 'Wiley" in a deeply Southern drawl.
Oh, I'm gonna fucking love this guy.
SGT Wiley had the kind of farmer badass swagger that only comes from riding cows, milking bulls, and wrestling pigs all day for the majority of you life. "Hey Sarn, nice to meetcha. I think my guys have already kind of staked claim to a few areas but if you wanna partner up, don't be afraid to have your guys help 'em out."
"Oh, we're gon' knock 'er on out an' maybe me'n you gittuh enjoy ourselves a beer early 'fore fahv. Don' worry, I won' tell'f you won'. " I laugh. This dude and I are gonna get along just fine.
"SPESHIST JOHNS'N!" he bellows.
Oh fuck.
"SPESHIST JOHNS'N" he bellows once more.
No fucking way.
And as I think that, a small framed, very white soldier with glasses comes from around the back of the vehicle, double timing.
To be continued... Maybe. Probably. Fuck you Jensen.

Due to the 40,000 character limit for this text field, my list of songwriting plans have to be divided up into groups of 250 at a time.

• Songwriting Plans 1-250
• Songwriting Plans 251-500
• Songwriting Plans 501-750
• Songwriting Plans 751-1000

My list of conceived and planned songs, thus far. The ones with finished lyrics are in bold.

MY PLANNED SONGS (parodies / filk / contrafacta)

Number	Parody Title	Original's Title	Original’s Artist	Original's YT link
1001.	Back Above A 4.9 / The Turnaround of Ratings	His Banner Over Me Is Love	Larry Leader and B.C. Laurelton	https://youtu.be/4dKw6WnPOg8
1002.	Hopkinton	Hell On The Wabash	Dan Emmett and George Barrett Bruce	https://youtu.be/tvJakG-801I
1003.	Events of 1840	Low-Backed Car	Samuel Lover, Brendan O'Dowda	https://youtu.be/70rzCHUQrLQ
1004.	Hey Brian, You'd Better Not Be Asking For Money (BB Version)	Fun Fun Fun	Beach Boys	https://youtu.be/_JasiSpmfsU
1005.	We Are Not Amused (But Sometimes Abused)	Dead Island theme	Giles Lamb Feat. Mairi Campbell, Peter Nicholson & Guido De Groot	https://youtu.be/9CzcOcBb_ms
1006.	Unlisted Videos	God Bless America	Irving Berlin	https://youtu.be/BSyDaallxpE
1007.	I Don't Wanna Go This Way	Born This Way	Lady Gaga	https://youtu.be/3Vzrr64ZrVU
1008.	Miss LaTanya Unmultitaskable	In My Heart There Rings A Melody	Elton M. Roth and Andy Harsant	https://youtu.be/r-nTSJNBnVQ
1009.	Right To Vanish	Call Me Maybe	Carly Rae Jepsen	https://youtu.be/7GlTdyA9z7s
1010.	My AT&T	Maya The Bee (1982 opening theme)	Karel Svoboda	https://youtu.be/xVQ-SBLHDwE
1011.	Returned His Salary To His Church	Battle Cry of Freedom	George Frederick Root	https://youtu.be/MGKnc_YiR-E
1012.	That Is Such An Evil Number	Spring	Vivaldi	https://youtu.be/jGFqtOdEIWk
1013.	Blinking Wrinkles	Seinfeld Theme	Jonathan Wolff	https://youtu.be/MGQR6TZZVzk
1014.	Watch People Almost Die	Daddy's Oldsmobile	Hal Ketchum	https://youtu.be/JHAfLHTucj0
1015.	It's A Slot Machine At Home	The Bridge at Avignon	Pierre Certon, Adolphe Adam	https://youtu.be/f75_41UxKDc
1016.	Hard Brake Detected	Rockin' Tune	Willard A. Palmer, Morton Manus and Amanda Vick Lethco	https://youtu.be/I41W-3DPxVw
1017.	Bubble Gum Lights	Bangapseumnida	Pochonbo Music Ensemble	https://youtu.be/z8EkO8iIbZM
1018.	Our Essential Trailer Tail	My Pretty Topsy Tail commercial jingle	Tomima Edmark(?)	https://youtu.be/ukBbxTR-XL8
1019.	When K-Mart Opened in 1989	Bangapseumnida	Pochonbo Music Ensemble	https://youtu.be/VL50Y-S3mYM
1020.	3rd From The Corner	Down On The Corner	Creedence Clearwater Revival	https://youtu.be/BrB3gaX3-gI
1021.	Tagged Her Feet	Eine Kleine Nachtmusik	Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart	https://youtu.be/Jo7ox5ptjGY
1022.	God And Homeschool	Person of Interest	Rebecca Black	https://youtu.be/Z_pj02MFZdo
1023.	The Unlocked Gate At Constantinople	Pokemon Cianwood City Theme	Go Ichinose and Hitomi Sato	https://youtu.be/HjqIDr4sVY4
1024.	The Old Target Lot	The Old Rugged Cross	George Bennard	https://youtu.be/-JS9P8d2iOc
1025.	Tickling My Feet	Flood	Jars of Clay	https://youtu.be/EfAhpX_wIBk
1026.	Skin Slip	Convoy	C.W. McCall	https://youtu.be/d9BWlGP_DJw
1027.	Kim Jong-il Gwangyeoksi	Kanine Krunchies	Mel Leven and Lucille Bliss	https://youtu.be/DqBhJUjXBHg
1028.	Shelf Stocking	Convoy	C.W. McCall	https://youtu.be/j3VN54M1OXA
1029.	Baconator Fries	The Longest Time	Billy Joel	https://youtu.be/Yqe3wtudJ68
1030.	Indulgences	Los Colores De La Primavera	Ken Johnson	https://youtu.be/7SQiGQ1TGD0
1031.	They Need To Fix This Doggone Game	Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer	Johnny Marks and Robert May	https://youtu.be/fhbREHcz05o
1032.	The Bus Ride Back To Texas	The Yellow Rose of Texas	Mitch Miller	https://youtu.be/LUs2H8q26KY
1033.	Please Stop Necroing Threads	CHiPs theme	John Parker	https://youtu.be/59cxuFEzGQc
1034.	Brazzelton	Savages (from Disney's "Pocahontas")	Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz	https://youtu.be/QlzuWbDHZrU
1035.	Haircut From Hell	Andy Griffith theme	Earle Hagen, Herbert Spencer and Everett Sloane	https://youtu.be/AMZ6osLqEZQ
1036.	I Won't Help You With The Cigarettes and Alcohol Anymore	Pokémon Cerulean City theme	Junichi Masuda	https://youtu.be/9tsf9ad-jbE
1037.	Wie Heisen Sie? (Pokémon version)	Kanto Pokémon Gym Theme	Junichi Masuda(?)	https://youtu.be/atXmxeiYORY
1038.	The World's Most Humane Prisons	Pokémon Cinnabar Island Theme	Junichi Masuda	https://youtu.be/Y6M73yToMS0
1039.	When I'm In The Middle of Driving	Ready, Steady, Go (Full Metal Alchemist theme)	Tetsu Hyde, Hajime Okano, L'Arc-en-Ciel	https://youtu.be/NZdjDUjzUiQ
1040.	From Mexico City to Boston	This and That	Emma Gunnarsen AKA eMMa	https://youtu.be/zS45W46NGFk
1041.	How Much Did You Weigh At the Time?	God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again	Jeremiah Rankin, William G. Tomer	https://youtu.be/GZHrtHdbdOE
1042.	Interhamwe Militia	God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again	Jeremiah Rankin, William G. Tomer	https://youtu.be/EQlv_xUYATg
1043.	El Cazador	Forget You	Cee Lo Green	https://youtu.be/4fq_MDgEzRM
1044.	You Wouldn't Be Alive Today (If The Nazis Won The War)	Schnappi Das Kleine Krokodil	Joy and Iris Gruttman	https://youtu.be/7NxRv6KtnWM
1045.	Could That Be Why You Got So Big	All Creatures Of Our God And King	St. Francis of Assisi, William Henry Draper	https://youtu.be/MUZD0hgtSgE
1046.	Don't Drop Anything Down There	Ready, Steady, Go (Fullmetal Alchemist theme)	Tetsu Hyde, Hajime Okano, L'Arc-en-Ciel	https://youtu.be/YpET6AMYIy4
1047.	Ban The Xbox	Night Fever	Bee Gees	https://youtu.be/SkypZuY6ZvA
1048.	I'm Sorry, But You Cannot Sleep In Here	Bananaphone	Raffi Cavoukian	https://youtu.be/PQJjx19sRbs
1049.	Cash For Clunkers	Oh, Susanna	Stephen Foster	https://youtu.be/qSIj17xbAyk
1050.	Freakofnurture Disappeared From Wikipedia in 2008	I Can See Clearly Now	Johnny Nash	https://youtu.be/g_rB4v75jqU
1051.	Tale of Pvt. John L. Drugan	Ballad of Thunder Road	Robert Mitchum, Jack Marshall, Don Raye	https://youtu.be/ONxGn4_XEIo
1052.	You're A Weirdo	Rule Britannia	James Thomson, Thomas Arne	https://youtu.be/RLejLks8feE
1053.	The Truck Is In The Way	Baby Come-A-Back	The Chordettes	https://youtu.be/Gv7eHZawR7Y
1054.	Visibly Aged Out Of His Role	CHiPs theme	John Parker	https://youtu.be/PzAJ5P97MsA
1055.	$414 a month	Pathetique (main movement)	Ludwig Von Beethoven	https://youtu.be/L1-kZWjZP-g
1056.	Ban-Evading Creep	I Want To Hold Your Hand	The Beatles	https://youtu.be/7FigLQb6IHg
1057.	Silence Your Phone	Love Lifted Me	James Rowe, Howard E. Smith	https://youtu.be/JEgezk-X3nU
1058.	Captured Russian Soldiers	Southern Soldier / Kill That Yankee Soldier (American Civil War song)	Miss Minta Morgan	https://youtu.be/_LBttKZ7u9Y
1059.	Roadable Aircraft	Sesame Street theme	Jon Stone, Bruce Hart, Joe Raposo	https://youtu.be/lxqBN3h0Bgs
1060.	Old Pontiac	The Old Rugged Cross	Alan Jackson	https://youtu.be/O5fHmxC4Qjc
1061.	Laderoboter	(Keep Feeling) Fascination	The Human League	https://youtu.be/DuwM8nASrOA
1062.	Such A Future Dead Man	Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas	Hugh Martin and Ralph Blaine	https://youtu.be/-tJtsKngXJU
1063.	Jens Stoltenberg, the Leader of Norway	Anchors Aweigh	Charles Zimmermann	https://youtu.be/HMAqNNDmV5k
1064.	Jens Stoltenberg, the Leader of NATO	Joyful, Joyful (the Sister Act version)	Mervyn Warren	https://youtu.be/Pk4rpsIRMUw
1065.	A Ride To Haven (Stop Whining Like A Little Girl)	Bin Laden Bomb Song	Craig Williams, KOMP-FM morning show crew	https://youtu.be/temLjXqL5Fw
1066.	You Were Guilty	Colors of the Wind (from Disney's Pocahontas)	Stephen Schwartz and Alan Menken	https://youtu.be/4i0HDygKdLM
1067.	Idi Na(k)huy	Gasoline Gus and his Jitney Bus	Billy Murray	https://youtu.be/hWNXODdv4Wo
1068.	You're Not On The Day	Joyful, Joyful (the Sister Act version)	Mervyn Warren	https://youtu.be/57ut8Eei4Mg
1069.	You Were Abrasive	Bananaphone	Raffi	https://youtu.be/v_xfouK5KRc
1070.	Software Piracy	The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald	Gordon Lightfoot	https://youtu.be/FuzTkGyxkYI
1071.	The French at Dien Bien Phu	Dead Man's Curve	Jan and Dean	https://youtu.be/8SOtUzGSlU8
1072.	It Was 30 Degrees	Sim City SNES Village Theme	Soyo Oka	https://youtu.be/Af6ZQdh_yVs
1073.	Central Christian School	Tomten Jag Vill Ha En Riktig Jul	Peaches	https://youtu.be/a-79sbicwTQ
1074.	Old Man Star	Low-Backed Car	John McCormack	https://youtu.be/grQ3qB-6OmQ
1075.	MARIUPOL	Province Theme 3 (Caesar 2 soundtrack)	Impressions Games, Sierra Entertainment	https://youtu.be/sqvgjHHq6SI
1076.	Please Pick Up After Your Pets	Penny Lane	The Beatles	https://youtu.be/S-rB0pHI9fU
1077.	4 Years Newer / CT200h	Ballad of Thunder Road	Robert Mitchum, Jack Marshall, Don Raye	https://youtu.be/o1CYKDoYCIM
1078.	Pretty Busy	Little Bitty	Alan Jackson	https://youtu.be/Eo2OIUpWznY
1079.	Gangdol	Big Bad John	Jimmy Dean	https://youtu.be/4ukE3jwmOcA
1080.	They're Not Known To Tip Well	Hollaback Girl	Gwen Stefani	https://youtu.be/_jAAixDgHhM
1081.	$100	Down On The Corner	Creedence Clearwater Revival	https://youtu.be/vrMvblpZFq0
1082.	We Will Rave On Putin's Grave	Rock of Ages Cleft For Thee	Charles Wesley, Augustus Montague Toplady	https://youtu.be/CuYhZS7zlhM
1083.	The Pump Cheated Me	Love Lifted Me	Alan Jackson	https://youtu.be/mEsgA_TgDas
1084.	So Andie Would Hear It	Ancient of Days	Ron Kenoly	https://youtu.be/ZjDz0cLebUw
1085.	It's Not Gonna Stay	Battle Hymn of the Republic	Julia Ward Howe, William Steffe, James E. Greenleaf, C. S. Hall and C.B. Marsh	https://youtu.be/yAqNe-m0a8s
1086.	Twitter's Suspension of President Trump	Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough	Michael Jackson	https://youtu.be/B2B1of3OXSs
1087.	The Ballad of Gabby Petito	On The Back Seat of the Old Henry Ford	Lawrence Dillon	https://youtu.be/dGazVQqlrsU
1088.	Well Yeah (How a Filipino Says 'Duh')	Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head	Burt Bacharach, Hal David	https://youtu.be/OT1HCQcSHW0
1089.	Reasons to Join NATO	Convoy	C.W. McCall	https://youtu.be/wczPet0Yf9E
1090.	Come To Church (Soulwinner's Mission Church)	Best Friend	SMAP	https://youtu.be/shdHNAl_GPo
1091.	Never Ask A Felon What His Charges Are	Looking 'Round My Neighborhood (a Barney tune)	Philip Parker	https://youtu.be/V0CFTe3vHrc
1092.	Pierdol Się	Big Bad John	Jimmy Dean	https://youtu.be/Hy7arhKbQkQ
1093.	Have a Stay at the Comfort Inn Hotel	Ponyo theme	Katsuya Kondo, Hayao Miyazaki, Joe Hisaishi	https://youtu.be/6IUHODdxjFE
1094.	I Have a Repertoire of Things To Do, In Order To Pass the Time	His Banner Over Me Is Love	Traditional, Cedarmont Kids	https://youtu.be/Ebond0jjDgI
1095.	I Do Not Want An Artificial Eye, Says General Martok	Ukrainian National Anthem (Ukraine Is Not Yet Lost)	Pavlo Chubynsky, Mykhailo Verbytsky	https://youtu.be/aXixlG8-564
1096.	Kelly of Jimmy John's	Minuet in G Major	Johann Sebastian Bach	https://youtu.be/icZob9-1MDw
1097.	Shianne of Jimmy John's	Witch Doctor (Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang)	Ross Bagdasarian (David Seville)	https://youtu.be/TYgOlqinH7A
1098.	KHERSON	Gesu Bambino	David Archuleta	https://youtu.be/Jpocrh7pLTY
1099.	Don't Share Ukrainian Troop Movements / Russian Troop Movements Need The Widest Share	Tomten Jag Vill Ha En Riktig Jul (Santa, I Want a Real Christmas)	Peaches / Bunsungarna	https://youtu.be/AD_QbIHxOtw
1100.	My Sister Wrote a Label	This and That / 123	eMMa	https://youtu.be/Yhstcyv7IX8
1101.	$10,000 For a Peanut	Drive My Car	The Beatles	https://youtu.be/ljQjQ7PvdD4
1102.	He Was An Abolitionist	Simple Gifts	Aaron Copland	https://youtu.be/FMtCh0VuoKg
1103.	Sometime Today	Trust and Obey	John H. Sammis, Daniel B. Towner	https://youtu.be/R0S8Z-dMM40
1104.	It Could Always Be Pretended	The Internationale	Pierre De Geyter, Eugene Pottier	https://youtu.be/PPExpmtdMEw
1105.	The House Cost $36,500 In 1970	ABC Is As Easy As 1-2-3	The Jackson Five	https://youtu.be/X0Ph9Tc8tUw
1106.	Uvalde, Texas	The Happy Wanderer (AKA the "Valderi Valdera" song)	Florenz Friedrich Sigismund, Friedrich-Wilhelm Moeller	https://youtu.be/xW09Osnr7Yo
1107.	Russian Helicopter	Rosa Helikopter	Peaches	https://youtu.be/pL_JXFbh9cc
1108.	Southern Hospitality	Cult of Personality	Corey Glover, Vernon Reid, Muzz Skillings, Will Calhoun	https://youtu.be/7xxgRUyzgs0
1109.	If You Wear That, They Won't Interview You	Who Killed Jesus Many Years Ago?	Mickey Holiday	https://youtu.be/7G3pAE2PezY
1110.	It Is The Toy Run	The Old Gumbie Cat	Andrew Lloyd Webber	https://youtu.be/n4FAKR7Jx8k
1111.	UPS Has No Air Conditioning	Ukrainian National Anthem	Pavlo Chubynsky, Mykhailo Verbytsky	https://youtu.be/mUfwy3f3R4s
1112.	Somewhere Past Waldron	Summertime Lover	300 Likes / Nathan Walters	https://youtu.be/qChh4YZokog
1113.	The Ballad of Leigh Sundem	Ave Maria	Franz Schubert	https://youtu.be/2H5rusicEnc
1114.	Losers Say What	Lozzobear's Symphony	Shonky Brothers	https://youtu.be/jC4RuPxMxQY
1115.	This Is Mimi's / Label That	Over There	George M. Cohan	https://youtu.be/921z4LAHvak
1116.	The ME-410	the mid-episode tune of the David the Gnome soundtrack	Javier Losada and Hilario Camcho	https://youtu.be/igUDdBLRm-w?t=1001 (16:41-17:29)
1117.	I Finally Got You To Laugh (Bruno Mars version)	Uptown Funk	Bruno Mars	https://youtu.be/OPf0YbXqDm0
1118.	I do not want to share my age	Eternal Father Strong To Save	William Whiting	https://youtu.be/_7o4Ltq_Dz8
1119.	Besa	Surfin' USA	The Beach Boys	https://youtu.be/KcZn05qxVgg
1120.	Mrs. Fazekas	the Korean Harley-Davidson commercial tune	Harley-Davidson	https://youtu.be/pquHwjFjAM8
1121.	Just Neckbeard Things	Big Bad John	Jimmy Dean	https://youtu.be/7aCOaVYwwao
1122.	Camster	SpongeBob closing theme	Steve Belfer	https://youtu.be/MiKuhfDjims
1123.	Saved A Choking Little Girl	Crazy 'Bout An Automobile	Ry Cooder	https://youtu.be/9PYsz6odY00
1124.	Cool The Phone Down	Blow The Man Down	Recorder: Percy Grainger, Lyricist: Tom Roberts	https://youtu.be/ufWdpNSs3DM
1125.	Nobody Living Here By That Name	Fukai Mori (Deep Forest)	Do As Infinity	https://youtu.be/zR-zU0RSGBs
1126.	Brendan Killion	Milk and Cereal	G. Love & Special Sauce	https://youtu.be/8nIGUatrN8s
1127.	I'm About To Lose My Motha-pluckin' Job (TOML version)	Time Of My Life	Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes	https://youtu.be/wVSEX2azwjE
1128.	Rabbi Speaking Hebrew	We're Out of Gas (from the Back To The Future soundtrack)	Alan Silvestri	https://youtu.be/EBZhHM6cdcI
1129.	Famous Bowl	Jessie's Girl	Rick Springfield	https://youtu.be/H2vCeF6YpgI
1130.	Will You Please Refrain From Vandalizing Any Wiki Pages?	the Pippi Longstocking Theme	Jan Johansson	https://youtu.be/1mOGeAM7KME
1131.	There's 33 Left	Feliz Navidad	Jose Feliciano	https://youtu.be/N8NcQzMQN_U
1132.	The Reappearance of Brian Goodwin	Zunea Zunea	Cleopatra Stratan	https://youtu.be/dS1Gf7qq2sI
1133.	Bottom Gun	Fig Leaf Times Two	Kevin MacLeod	https://youtu.be/UcOXTd9Ix7g
1134.	Pocahontas Was Just 10	Bridge of Avignon	Adolphe Adam	https://youtu.be/miCiClOgNak
1135.	Idaho, Youdaho	the Major victory tune from Panzer General	Doug Brandon	https://youtu.be/E38CyUheXgA
1136.	He Only Got Paid $9	the Salute Your Shorts theme	Ed Alton	https://youtu.be/WqMFnCBGWi8
1137.	Lonnie the Safety Coordinator	the Pippi Longstocking Theme	Jan Johansson	https://youtu.be/fbpF-FW3bew
1138.	There's A Misfire	the Super Mario Brothers basement theme	Koji Kondo	https://youtu.be/c0SuIMUoShI
1139.	They Don't Enroll	Time Marches On	Tracy Lawrence	https://youtu.be/t5wUFURYc0g
1140.	The Volume Song	the Jeopardy theme	Merv Griffin	https://youtu.be/g3Kq1vURcL8
1141.	Norman Borlaug	the FreeCreditReport.com country song	Dave Mulhefeld	https://youtu.be/YWnUmpQhiOw
1142.	You Are Not Allowed To Plug Anything In	Mors Lilla Lathund	composed by Georg Riedel, lyrics by Astrid Lindgren	https://youtu.be/9smQGIkhD0M
1143.	We Don't Need No More	Captain Teodor / Theodore	Georg Riedel and Astrid Lindgren	https://youtu.be/OfJZAGs4cxk
1144.	Brian Goodwin Wants My Body Spray	The Wise Man and Foolish Man	The Cedarmont Kids	https://youtu.be/3HVdbULOVHA
1145.	They Count Dollar-For-Dollar	Do What I Feel	Tha Dogg Pound	https://youtu.be/6d0lvvhVOJ0
1146.	Author John C. Beaglehole	Captain Theodore	Georg Riedel and Astrid Lindgren	https://youtu.be/jIwl185fn2M
1147.	The Ballad of Ferdinand Pribbenow	Get Together	The Youngbloods	https://youtu.be/7xGxQXmu7Os
1148.	The Inger Nilsson theme	Don't Stop Till You Get Enough	Michael Jackson	https://youtu.be/DkjwyAk2GRw
1149.	Leatherman Tool Shanty	Wellerman Sea Shanty	Nathan Evans	https://youtu.be/qP-7GNoDJ5c
1150.	D-O-X-X-I-N-G	Battle Cry of Freedom (Confederate version)	composer H. L. Schreiner and lyricist W. H. Barnes.	https://youtu.be/ZdMLb3eiWWg
1151.	Buy Here Pay Here Lots	Beep Beep	The Playmates	https://youtu.be/XFIV6ueYUgE
1152.
1153.
1154.
1155.
1156.
1157.
1158.
1159.
1160.
1161.
1162.
1163.
1164.
1165.
1166.
1167.
1168.
1169.
1170.
1171.
1172.
1173.
1174.
1175.
1176.
1177.
1178.
1179.
1180.
1181.
1182.
1183.
1184.
1185.
1186.
1187.
1188.
1189.
1190.
1191.
1192.
1193.
1194.
1195.
1196.
1197.
1198.
1199.
1200.
1201.
1202.
1203.
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1206.
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(More to come as they get conceived...)

LOTTO SOUDAL

Code	Name	Nation	UCI Rank
LTS	LOTTO SOUDAL	BEL	18

Lotto Soudal boasts one of the longest-running sponsorships in the pro peloton, with Belgium's national lottery serving as a core sponsor since 1985. Rarely focussed on GC efforts in recent years, the team excels in stage-hunting, sprints and classics. In 2021, Lotto Soudal failed to improve on their 2020 results, but didn't perform any worse either, despite some setbacks and lack of form from some of their more reliable riders. They have, however, had a steady trip downward in the UCI team rankings over the last several seasons.

2021 Season Recap

While Lotto Soudal didn't make any great strides forward in 2021, the team matched its 2020 output exactly, bringing 12 wins across the calendar. In fact, in each of the past two seasons the team has taken 8 wins at the World Tour level, with the rest coming in .1 and .Pro races. The team's ambitions were clearly higher, especially around top sprinter Caleb Ewan. His widely-announced 2021 plan to win a stage in each Grand Tour started out well enough with a pair at the Giro d'Italia, but he crashed hard early on at the Tour de France, breaking a collarbone and throwing a wrench in his plans for the season. Tim Wellens also brought a pair of wins, as he did in 2020, but unlike 2021, Wellens didn't find success in any WT races. Youngsters Brent Van Moer and Andreas Kron made up for it though, with some exciting stage win in the Critérium du Dauphiné, Tour de Suisse and Volta a Catalunya. Thomas de Gendt also took a win after failing to cross the line first at all in 2020 (the first season he'd gone winless since 2015).

Top Riders Last 5 Years

Rank	2021 (points UCI)	2020	2019	2018	2017
1	Wellens (826)	Ewan (971)	Wellens (1951)	Wellens (1792)	Greipel (1785)
2	Ewan (766)	Degenkolb (589)	Ewan (1845)	Benoot (1097)	Wellens (1367)
3	Van der Sande (756)	Wellens (521)	Benoot (1444)	Greipel (914)	Gallopin (1297)
4	Degenkolb (594)	Vermeersch (270)	De Buyst (670)	Debusschere (662)	Benoot (1240)
5	Vermeersch (564)	Gilbert (253)	Lambrecht (649)	Lambrecht (584)	De Buyst (501)
Tot.	4729	3246	8756	4700	5466
UCI Rank	18	17	9	15	13

Results 2021

This includes stage wins, GC, Mountain, Youth and Points Classifications.

Type	Rider	1.	2.	3.	Tot.
WT		9	6	6	21
	Ewan	4	2	1	7
	Kron	2	-	1	3
	De Gendt	1	1	1	3
	Van Moer	1	1	-	2
	Goosens	1	-	-	1
	Degenkolb	-	1	-	1
	Sweeny	-	-	1	1
	Oldani	-	-	1	1
	Vanhoucke	-	-	1	1
Pro		5	4	3	12
	Ewan	3	-	1	4
	Conca	1	-	-	1
	Vermeersch	1	-	-	1
	Degenkolb	-	1	-	1
	Van der Sande	-	3	2	5
2.x		2	4	2	8
	Vanhoucke	-	2	1	3
	Oldani	-	1	-	1
	Moniquet	-	1	-	1
	Wellens	2	-	1	3
1.x		-	1	2	3
	Degenkolb	-	-	1	1
	Thijssen	-	1	1	2
Nats		-	-	-	-
Tot.		16	15	13	44

Top Results 2021

According to UCI Points

Rnk.	Race	Rider	Placement	PointsUCI
1.	Paris-Roubaix	Florian Vermeersch	2	400
2.	Milan-Sanremo	Caleb Ewan	2	400
3.	Eschborn-Frankfurt	John Degenkolb	2	250
4.	Benelux Tour	Tim Wellens	4	220
5.	Primus Classic	Tosh Van der Sande	2	150

Unsurprisingly, Wellens and Ewan were among the team's top names yet again. When he's healthy, Ewan is hard to beat in a flat race and he's also proven to be strong in some hilly races as well, targetting Milan-Sanremo and finishing second out of an impressive group of strong puncheurs and classics specialists. His 2021 plans were interrupted by a broken collarbone in a hard crash with Peter Sagan on Stage 3 of the Tour de France but a couple of months later, he was back at it, winning a stage of the Benelux Tour. Florian Vermeersch pulled out a surprisingly good result in the epic October edition of Paris-Roubaix, bringing the team's second monument podium of the season with a 2nd place there. Though he missed out on a win, Tosh Van der Sande secured podiums and Top 10s across the entire season, while a pair of 23-year-olds went on a bit of a stage-hunting tear. Brent Van Moer took stage 1 of the Critérium du Dauphiné and in doing so secured all of the classification jerseys for the one day. Andreas Kron also showed his worth, with stage wins in the Tour de Suisse and Volta a Catalunya. Breakaway expert Thomas de Gendt also won a stage in Catalunya after going almost two years without reaching the top step in a race.

Outgoing Transfers

Rider	Born	Nation	2021 UCI Pt.	Type	New Team
DEGENKOLB John	1989	GER	594	SprinteClassics	Team DSM
GOOSENS Kobe	1996	BEL	61	Climber	Intermarché-Wanty-Gobert Matériaux
MARCZYNSKI Tomasz	1984	POL	0	Two Vuelta Stages	Retirement
OLDANI Stefano	1998	ITA	170	Puncheur	Alpecin-Fenix
THIJSSEN Gerben	1998	BEL	166	Sprinter	Intermarché-Wanty-Gobert Matériaux
VAN DER SANDE Tosh	1990	BEL	756	Puncheur	Jumbo-Visma

The team loses a few promising young riders, with Belgian duo Kobe Goosens and Gerben Thijssen leaving to join the Intermarché-Wanty squad, and Italian Stefano Oldani moving over to Alpecin-Fenix. With a few podiums and Top 10s in smaller races, and an impressive 5th at Dwars door Vlaanderen, Tosh Van der Sande is taking his skills over to Jumbo-Visma, while John Degenkolb joins Team DSM after a pair of so-so seasons with Lotto Soudal. Long-serving veteran Tomasz Marczynski rides off into the sunset, retiring after a 16-year career, the last six of which were spent with Lotto Soudal.

2022 Roster

Rider	Born	Nat.	2021 UCI Pt.	Type	Joined Team
BEULLENS CedricNEW	1997	BEL	84	Classics	from Sport Vlaanderen - Baloise
CAMPENAERTS VictorNEW	1991	BEL	559	TT/Classics	from Team Qhubeka NextHash
CONCA Filippo	1998	ITA	24	Climber	2021
CRAS Steff	1996	BEL	63	ClimbeGC	2020
DE BUYST Jasper	1993	BEL	104	Sprinter	2015
DE GENDT Thomas	1986	BEL	50	Breakaways	2015
DE LIE ArnaudNEW	2002	BEL	72	SprinteClassics	from Lotto Soudal U23
DRIZNERS JarradNEW	1999	AUS	28	Sprinter	from Hagens Berman Axeon
EWAN Caleb	1994	AUS	766	Sprinter	2019
FRISON Frederik	1992	BEL	21	Rouleur	2015
GILBERT Philippe	1982	BEL	367	Monuments	2020
GRIGNARD Sébastien	1999	BEL	3	ITT	2021
HOLMES Matthew	1993	GBR	0	GC	2020
KLUGE Roger	Germany	1986	0	Leadout	2019
KRON Andreas	1998	DEN	260	Puncheur	2021
MAŁECKI Kamil	1996	POL	3	All-round	2021
MONIQUET Sylvain	1998	BEL	15	GC/Climber	2021
SCHWARZMANN MichaelNEW	1991	GER	8	Domestique	from BORA-hansgrohe
SELIG RüdigerNEW	1989	GER	17	Leadout	from BORA-hansgrohe
SWEENY Harry	1998	AUS	53	Leadout/Classics	2021
VAN GILS Maxim	1999	BEL	135	Climber	2021
VAN MOER Brent	1998	BEL	93	ITT/Breakaways	2018
VANHOUCKE Harm	1997	BEL	235	Climber	2018
VERMEERSCH Florian	1999	BEL	564	Sprinter	2020
VERSCHAEVE Victor	1998	BEL	0	PuncheuClimber	2021
VERVLOESEM Xandres	2000	BEL	2	GC/Climber	2021
WELLENS Tim	1991	BEL	826	Classics	2012
Avg.	27 yrs.	27 riders	161,2 pt.

The team wasn't too active in the transfer market, but did bring back Victor Campenaerts on a three-year contract after he spent a couple years away. Arnaud De Lie was promoted from the team's U23 squad after a very successful 2021, including a win at the U23 edition of Omloop Het Nieuwsblad, two stages and the points jersey at the Tour Alsace, a stage podium at the Tour de l'Avenir, a stage at the Circuit des Ardennes and a host of wins in other U23/amateur races. Other younger signings include Australian rider Jarrad Drizners, who showed promise in the Flanders Tomorrow Tour and took a 7th-place finish on the first stage of the Volta ao Algarve, and Belgian classics specialist Cedric Beullens, who managed some decent results in one-day races like Eschborn-Frankfurt (12th place) and Omloop Het Nieuwsblad (17th place). A pair of BORA-hansgrohe support riders - Michael Schwarzmann and Rüdiger Selig - round out the team's signings for 2022.

2022 Outlook

Despite his age, we'll almost certainly see Philippe Gilbert on the starting line for Milan-Sanremo in a last-ditch, longshot attempt to complete his set of monument wins. However, it's much more likely that Ewan will be the Lotto Soudal representative in the race finale. Whether he can finally pull off the win remains to be seen, as the field of challengers will no doubt remain incredibly strong. It's less likely we'll see Ewan try again for a stage win in each of the Grand Tours. With the late-September World Championship race taking place in his home country, no doubt that will be a target for him. Could we see a Lotto rider in the rainbow stripes before the season's end? Wellens will certainly be ever present in stage hunting and classics, while de Gendt seems likely to share the breakaway spotlight with Van Moer. No doubt there will be many eyes watching Andreas Kron's career progression and youngsters Victor Verschaeve and Xandres Vervloesem could be set for a bit of a step forward, now with a year of WorldTour riding behind them after showing much promise on the U23 circuit.

••• An Hour Later •••

Dr. Steff Nacht is speaking with Mr. Roger Stone, "I fail to see how this can be of use. Oh, the first part is clear enough. Malignant masses can be removed with relative ease, and so long as the distribution of other sources is small enough, they can be destroyed with relative ease. But these two toxins? I can see that if we were able to guarantee delivery of precisely the right amount, it would be revolutionary."
Mr. Stone continues, "But as it stands, it's like a magic bullet for eliminating cells with no gun precise enough to fire it. You are correct. That is the problem. What we need for this to work is another research project. One focused more on the physical engineering than the talent learning."
An oddly rough voice intrudes, "That assumes that the known talents are all that exists."
"Welcome. Of courtesy, I do not ask your name." Dr. Nacht is startled by Roger's statement, but seeing the relieved look on the rough face of this stranger, he accepts Roger's judgment, for now.
"Of courtesy, I thank you. Dr. Nacht, your curiosity will be satisfied before any definite action." Nacht nods. "If I may continue?" Nods from both Nacht and Stone.
"The ancients did not know how to recognize and train talented people, but they had a broader understanding of talent. Usually, they perceived the talents as akin to performing everyday tasks without mechanical assistance, often at a considerable distance and with a near-instantaneous response time. I choose to break the complex list of individual powers down into general categories and expand from there.
"Healing, This is the one that we are most familiar with, but we apply it in a very narrow set of ways. The ancients saw it as the application of one of five energies; we use only the mental energy of the healer. Necrotic talent comes here as it is a simple reversal of energy flow.
"Kinetic, The movement of physical material from one location to another. Imagine surgery performed without a knife, retrieving lost items if the kinetic knows the location, sending things to a known site. We do not use this power at all. The ancients knew several other uses, starting a fire, personal flying, and theoretically creating matter.
"Perceptive, The gathering of knowledge by means other than the physical. Being able to listen to conversations at a distance beyond average human or even mechanical aids can work. Halfway around the world, for example. The talent may use all of the senses, and in more extreme cases, one may violate the flow of time. This is the origin of the truth talent.
"They had words for other powers that do not appear to fit these general categories, yet I do not have a good theory for how they operate, so I will leave them in the literature for another to attempt to explain."
Steff Necht is incredulous, "You claim that we use less power than the ancients, none of whom accepted that the talents were real?"
"We use the talents we have with greater force than the ancients but focused into minimal areas. We have the potential to do far better than we are now. It is inaccurate to say that none accepted the talents, but those who did were often considered charlatans and worse."
"I cannot believe that anyone who could demonstrate these abilities would be considered a charlatan! The results are undeniable!"
"With respect, so few could demonstrate "undeniable" results that they were easily dismissable. With the desire for solutions to intractable problems, many professed these powers yet had nothing but trickery behind them."
"And truth talents did not expose them?"
"They did not even have truth talents; what they had were people who were extraordinarily capable of detecting lies."
Nacth is now actively aggressive, "That is the very definition of a truth talent! Please, cease splitting hairs!"
"Dr. Nacth, do you deny that the untalented can, with some reliability, tell when another individual, talented or not, is lying?"
"Such individuals are no better than random chance!"
"Really? Would you care to wager on that assertion?"
Roger Stone interrupts, "This is going too far. No wagers. However, I do suggest impromptu research. I have no talent other than necrotic. Docter Derdash has truth talent, and I understand the General has no talent at all. Father also has no truth talent but intimate knowledge of my life. Place the three of them in opposition to me to confirm the truth or falsehood of each statement I make.
"You, Doctor Necht, will record the statements while our guest confirms what you have written. Our two test cases, and my father, will record simply a number and a yes or no mark whether or not the statement is true. I will also record my numbers and answers. Acceptable?"
Necht responds, "As a preliminary to a full-scale test, it is not unreasonable. I would not consider it more than a preliminary indication of which way the test might go."
"Agreed."
The test runs swiftly, five short statements considered adequate for a preliminary finding.

N	RS	HS	GBSH	BD
1	T	T	T	T
2	T	T	T	T
3	T	T	T	T
4	T	F	F	F
5	F	T	T	F

Necht, "Interesting, You all agree that the first three are true, but on the fourth, Roger? Are you certain of your statement on the fourth because the other three disagree with you?"
"I was certain until you told me that. Now I'd like to hear the reasons for the two without talent who decided I was lying, and why?"
His father responds first, "You were concussed. What you answered is what you believed but is not what happened."
General Hewins is next, "As an untalented, I depend on several observations. In this case, I saw a distinct shift of the eyes that indicated a lie; this is not quite universal, but it would be difficult to hide for someone unaware of the trait. It's also open to misinterpretation for ambidextrous and left-handed."
"Doctor Derdash?"
"I had always thought that we were only examining the belief of the individual. If Roger believed this wholeheartedly, then why would I sense falsehood?"
Guest replies, "When you perceive truth, how does it seem to you?"
"Truth is truth!"
"Is it a visual or aural sensation?"
"Aural! Their voice carries the truth!"
"Dr. Derdash, I contend that you perceive the past by hearing Roger's voice in the past saying that this response is false."
"How... How would I know?"
"I do not know myself."
"Can I trust my truth talent?"
"Has it ever failed you? Did it fail you in this case?"
"No... It has, to the best of my knowledge, never failed me. And in this case, it did not fail me, despite Roger's belief that what he said was true."
"Then you can trust it, but you should probably consider a study of the truth talent keeping this in mind."
"Dr. Necht? The last question?"
"This is... peculiar. The two non-talented both claim true, but Roger and Derdash both claim false. Doctor Harry Stone?"
"This derives from the same concussion incident. As with the prior statement, I do not doubt that Roger believes it's false. Unfortunately, I observed the incident."
"General?"
"I have the same reaction as before, the distinct shift of the eyes. Based on that reaction, I would claim that the statement is true and that Roger is lying."
"Derdash?"
"They are both wrong. I have never gotten a more solid sense that the statement is false."
"Roger? Can you shed some light on this?"
"Yes. The disagreement is a bone of contention between myself and my father. It occurred before the concussion, and the memory is evident in my mind. My father misinterprets what he saw and refuses to accept my statement that his interpretation is false."
"I know what I saw and heard. You have been unwilling to expand upon your original statement, so I stand by my determination."
"Would you accept my statement if I extended it in privacy to another? One I trust will hold that inviolate to the end of days?"
"It is that important to you, Son?"
"Yes, it is."
"I agree. Let it restore peace between us in this matter."
"General? You have heard?"
"I have heard."
"Will you keep this information inviolate until the end of days?"
"With one exception, If I deem the information necessary to the defense of the country, I will divulge it to those who most need to know. I cannot guarantee their silence."
"I doubt it will be that important, but your condition is accepted. Step this way with me General," offering his arm to her.
"Whatever will your mother think?" General Hewins accepts his arm.
"That I am being kind to a long-term friend of hers, who has sorely lacked friendship in this place."
"Have I?"
They stroll out the door, heading for a balcony.
"You are the commanding officer. You may have professional colleagues that you trust with your life, but are they friends that you can "let your hair down" with? Or are you always "The General"?"
"The latter, I'm afraid."
"So, we shall walk, and talk, and perhaps become friends."
"So gallant. Why are you not married yet?"
"Too busy, besides, the women that Mother picks out for me do not 'fit' with me. They view marrying a necrotic talent as either an act of pity or an act of sacrifice. Neither is acceptable to me."
"And how do you know this?"
"I do the unthinkable, I ask."
With the General gaily laughing, they walk out the door.

••• 30 minutes later •••

"Please, General! There is no need to laugh so hard! It was not a pleasant experience for me!"
"I know! I know! But the look on your father's face if I should tell him! That is what I laugh at!"
"Well, at least I need not worry about that!"
The meeting has organized into small groups discussing what might be done. Dr. Steff Necht marches over to General Hewins, "General."
"Doctor. What may I do for you?"
"Our guest, who Roger Stone — among others — either recognizes or accepts him without name, will not explain why. We are preparing to take action, and this guest has promised to reveal his name before action is taken.
"I see. Have you approached him yourself?"
"As others have accepted him, I cannot do so without their agreement. It would be unthinkable rude."
"Yet you feel you cannot continue without knowing his name."
"I am curious. I am more concerned that if he does not answer for himself, then he stands forsworn. In this group, that cannot be accepted."
"A matter of propriety, honor, and security. I see your point. As I am the commanding officer, allow the three of us to approach him. I will put the question to him."
Across the room, Harry Stone sees them approaching. "Um, I know this is a ground forces base, but I see a battleship and two escort cruisers approaching at flank speed."
Looking, Guest comments, "Nay, not flank speed, say three-quarters. However, the flag's targeting signals make it clear that I am the target. Welcome, General! Or is it Admiral now?"
"So I'm a battleship now?"
"Only when closing upon your target with your formidable armament locked on his person. It helps that you brought two escort cruisers with you."
"Ah... Drat! I've given away my position!"
"No, I think not. You still have a hidden salvo waiting."
"I'm afraid so. You promised to reveal your identity before action was taken, and we are close to action."
"So it is. Please gather the Stone Family here with us. The others may listen in, but the Stone Family, and Doctor Tao Drigh, need to be close to hear what I have to say."
"I will see to it. Roger? Please gather your family members. Dr. Necht? Find Doctor Drigh and ask him to attend me."
Dr. Necht and Drigh return first. "You asked for me, General?"
"Yes, we are waiting on the remainder of the Stone Family."
The crowd, seeing the gathering around the General, slowly migrate in that direction.
"Father, we are here."
Neko slips to Harry's side.
The General addresses Guest, "Your witnesses are gathered, speak you piece."
"General, I request a guarantee of my personal safety."
"Personal safety? That I can grant, at least until the legal processes have been properly followed. It may result in your incarceration as protective custody, is that acceptable?"
"Eminently."
"Doctors Stone, Mr. Stone, I owe you an apology. I am the proximal cause for Jones' interest in your plans. I became concerned when Dr. Drigh proposed to rent space from you and asked Jones to find out why. For what he has done, I truly apologize."
"Is he alive and well?"
"Yes, he is."
"And you are?"
"One and the same, two minds, one body. I am often known as Doctor Jekyll, a play on the play you might say. My alter ego is known as Cannibal Jones."
In a lightning shift of facial features, Jones stands before them. Smacking his hands together and rubbing them, "I love it when a plan comes together!"

••• One Month Later •••

An assemblage of distinguished-looking doctors, lawyers, philosophers, and others with an interest in ethics and responsible medicine.
"Gentlemen and Ladies, I am Doctor Harry Stone. You are here to witness certain demonstrations of new techniques and discoveries based on necrotic talent." The assemblage is immediately in an uproar, lead by one Professor.
"Please! Hear me out! You cannot make an informed decision without full knowledge!"
"Popycock! Necrotics were proved useless centuries ago!"
"Professor Bald Derdash, your information is incorrect. Ahrens never said they weren't potentially useful. All you have to do is go to the stacks and study the matter yourself."
"I have! He stated under oath that they were of no use!"
"Yes, he did."
"Then this travesty is at an end, good day, and thank you for wasting my time!"
"Under penalty of death if he did not do so."
"What?"
"He did not declare them useless, he recanted their usefulness under church law. If he had failed to do so, the church would have executed him as a heretic."
Professor Derdash's expression is one of confusion. "Doctor Stone, the copy in our stacks does not say anything about that."
"I would be surprised if it did. University Hospital holds the oldest known copy of the original documents. In those documents, the terms under which he recanted are spelled out quite clearly. All documents more recent than our copy are either a copy of a secondary copy or a copy from our primary. You may be interested to know that the Church, however much its power has been curtailed, is still the only body trusted to make copies of such important documents."
"They wouldn't!"
"I wish that were true, but we have obtained a mechanical copy of the documents from Capitol Hospital, and compared them to ours. The edits are clearly designed to produce a false impression, without blatantly changing the structure or content."
"That's... I want to say impossible, but you would not lie about something so important, not with all the truth readers here."
"Which I now give permission to validate my statements.
"First, Arhens was forced to recant under pain of death.
"Second, The documents at University Hospital, of which we have a mechanical copy here with us, clearly state so.
"Third, The documents at Capital Hospital, of which we obtained a mechanical copy, and have with us, clearly have been modified to give a false impression.
"Even based on this small evidence set, it is clear that some agency does not want necrotic talent used, for whatever purpose. I do not propose to point fingers. I only state facts.
"Fourth, the only body trusted to make such copies is the Church.
"Fifth, all textbooks have an even more aggressive stance, stating that necrotic talent is absolutely useless for any form of healing. The only accepted use is for sterilization, and only after all other life forms are evacuated.
"Sixth, the Church is the largest publishing house handling textbooks of all types.
"All of this is circumstantial. Potentially useful for identifying the culprit, but not to convict of any crime. In any case, that is not our purpose here today.
"Today, in this place, and with the able support of the Government MRIID center graciously allowed by General Bethany S. Hewins, we aim to show undeniable proof that necrotic talent has a definite utility within the healing community, with a correct understanding of the problems and potential solutions.
"First, in vitro demonstrations, made available simultaneously via this camera-equipped microscope. If you will observe the screen overhead, while Mr. Roger Stone makes the demonstration."
General Hewins observes closely, eyes bright with excitement. Roger presents each demonstration on its own merits,

• Control of necrotic talent to avoid damage to healthy tissue. (Note: divided petri dish.)
• Consequences of the destruction of diseased tissue in proximity to healthy tissue. (Note: undivided petri dish, showing a wave of destruction clearly.)
• Consequences of the introduction of purified toxin among otherwise healthy cells. (Note: destruction of all healthy cells until toxin is depleted.)
• Consequences of necrotic talent when healthy and diseased cells are well mixed. (Note: cascade failure of all diseased cells with corresponding rapid sweep through healthy cells.)

"As you can see, use of the necrotic talent will require extreme solutions. By itself, it is not useable except in specific circumstances. Observe."

• Consequences of necrotic talent when healthy cells outnumber diseased cells by more than 1000 to one. (Note: Some healthy cells are destroyed, but the overall sample of healthy tissue survives.)

"This technique can be used on patients with malignant growth of cells for no apparent reason, which if left uncontrolled will result in the death of the patient. If there is a single growth or a limited number of growths that can all be surgically excised, that is the current treatment.
"However, there is almost always a recurrence of the disease, usually in another part of the body. In the case where single cells of diseased tissue appear in widely separated parts of the body, we may be able to use necrotic talent to prevent recurrence."
"In the future, if we ever have the ability to detect such malignancies while they are small enough, we might be able to avoid surgery altogether. In the ultimate win, a patient might undergo necrotic treatment as a preventative for malignancies.
"Of course, those are in the far distant future. Much work remains to be done, not only research into the potentials of necrotic talent, but the healing talent community must learn to differentiate unhealthy tissues into more detailed categories than simply healthy versus unhealthy." There is disturbed muttering in the audience, "Oh, come now, gentlemen and ladies, if an untried necrotic talent can precisely differentiate individual cells as healthy versus diseased, surely experienced healing talents can do better than that!"
General laughter with a tinge of ruefulness for the humorous chiding. The murmuring switches to preliminary planning for such studies.
"Gentlefolk, the presentation is not complete. Dr. Drigh also has new information that ties in with my research. Dr. Drigh?"
"Thank you, Mr. Stone. Gentlefolk — I like that word! — In earlier work, I isolated a toxin from a patient that is as deadly as the toxin generated from necrotic talent destruction of diseased cells. Yet the patient is not harmed by that toxin, not even if ingested or injected by bite or claw."
"Excuse me, Dr. Drigh, did you say claw?"
"Yes, I did. The patient is one of a group, believed to be survivors of Moreau's abuse." The audience is agitated and getting louder. "They have formed their own tribal identity, and until recently were living quietly in an isolated portion of this state."
"ABOMINATION! KILL THEM!"
General Hewins stands abruptly, "THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT! ALL OF YOU! SIT DOWN!"
At that commanding voice, silence falls, and seats are retaken, in some cases by falling into them.
"That's better. These people — Make no mistake about it, they are people. — have lived among us since the days of Moreau, and have done no harm to any that we have been able to find, despite extensive searches of missing persons and any other media that we could find. They have lived here quietly, in P5 isolation, without quarrel. I submit that few of us could do that for two years much less the decade and more that they have been here."
"General, if they are so dangerous, why keep them?"
"I'll ask you that question when you see one of them playing with their children. Or a mother carrying for her child. Or an elder teaching a youngster. They are no danger to us save by that poison that they would gladly give up just to be able to live among us. On the other hand, as you supposedly gentlefolk just demonstrated, they are in deadly danger from us.
"Now, if you can maintain your detachment, Dr. Drigh will continue his presentation. If any of you cannot, you will be removed, by force if need be, and held incommunicado until such time as our present purpose is completed. The time period is indefinite, but on the order of weeks to months, not years."
"Very well, General. I have some reservations about what you've just said, but the quickest way to resolving those is to listen to the presentation with an open mind."
"Thank you, Dr. Derdash. Doctor Drigh, you may continue."
In a virtuoso performance, Dr. Drigh demonstrates the function of the two toxins, how each separately is deadly, but when combined carefully they can have a profund effect on diseased tissue without harming healthy tissue.
"Now, this is not a simple thing to do. Each of those demonstrations was carefully prepared. The amount of toxin used, the number of cells, the potency of the toxins, all of this lends itself to a demonstration of the potential good. Yet, this is no easy matter. This next demonstration, I would appreciate the assistance of two of the audience. They should be familiar with syringes and proper technique.
"The two toxins in these ampules are diluted to one part per ten million. By careful experimentation with in vitro cultures, we have determined that level survivable, if the contact point is immediately flushed with extreme amounts of water. For that reason, a pair of deluge safety systems are available, one to either side.
"Please, if you believe you have been contaminated, immediately head to the deluge system and trigger it. I require verbal confirmation from each of you, whether you're participating or not."
A chorus of confirmations come back.
Doctors Derdash, and Steff Necht volunteer, as each prepare their syringes the techinique is flawless, right up to the point that Derdash is about to do the little 'flick' used to chase any bubbles to the top. He freezes solid while Necht continues through with the 'flick'. Derdash instantly turns and runs to the nearest deluge and triggers the system. Necht stares in confusion. When no water comes out, Derdash's initial expression is dismay, then a grin.
"Congratulations Doctor Derdash, you have survived this SIMULATED contamination incident. I am sorry to report that Doctor Necht died, this passing was swift and painless. Please take your seats."
As Derdash and Necht return to their seats, Derdash claps Necht on the shoulders, and smiles at him. "It was almost mutual, my friend. I am not angry, Drigh had precautions standing by."
Necht looks at Derdash with sad eyes, "I did not consider the toxicity. I did not even notice the droplets striking my hands. My thoughtlessness could have cost you your life, and my inattentiveness would have cost me my life."
"Do you think you will ever forget this incident?"
"Never!"
"Then the simulation has done its job. You will never unthinkingly flick a needle again, there will always be that moment of hesitation. If anything, you are safer to give injections than I."
Drigh smiles, "Please take your seats, gentlemen, this demonstration is not yet complete."
Waiting for the others to settle in, Drigh brings out an ultraviolet lamp. "Doctor Nacht, I am sorry for your distress, and this may increase it. Yet the fault for the hypothetical outcome of this simulation rests on everyone in this room. Any one of us could have objected and called for biosec protection, not one of us did so. Everyone in this room assumed that the demonstration was safe because demonstrations rarely if ever involve personal danger. The fluid in the ampules is neutral saline with a fluourescent dye added. That dye glows red under ultraviolet. Observe."
Everyone in the room is positively covered in small dots of red. "I regret to inform you that the sole survivor is Doctor Tau Drigh. Would the person in the back right, three seats from the edge please stand?"
"You, Sir, have a 50 perceont chance of survival." Closely observing this individual, Drigh realizes he knows him. "Correction, you have a 100% chance of survival. Welcome to this demonstration; be at ease, your presence was anticipated with delight. Would you prefer a private room with a separate video feed?"
The figure shakes it head no.
"As you wish. Now, to continue..."

Aaaaaand we're back! We got a nice number of 32 voters, and the results they picked were - interesting let's say. This might be just as crazy as the BNTM tournament, if not more! Let's see who the very unlucky six girls are:
Group 1: With just 1 poor little vote - Steff Groulx, you must have the worst luck in CNTM history, bottom 2 three weeks in a row, now the first to go here, lol.
Group 2: Oh my god, Sinead Brady.... you got 1 vote, you're out.... that's a shock. From 2nd place to 2nd gone, dang. AND that's 2 down from cycle 2!
Group 3: With ZILCH votes - Heather Dorssers, you ain't the girl with the most potential here, you just got robbed again. ;/ Bye.
Group 4: Tiffany McDonald - just 1 vote, you're out. The first boot who completely fell off the face of the earth after? Not surprised.
Group 5: Holy shit, I knew she was hated but damn..... Andrea Muizelaar, the first winner OUT. No votes, there were THREE early boots from cycle 2 and they all beat you??? By a LOT??? LMAO That's what you get for being the Whitney/Demelza of Canada.
Group 6: Hey Alanna, guess what, you're gone too. The top 2 of cycle zero gone in the first round, the mess. You actually tied with 2 votes with Sylvie and Ebonie, but I used Random.org to decide the loser and it agrees that it would be iconically hilarious to send you and Andrea first. BYE.
So now, 25 left, and we'll be down to 20 at the end - this time, one less group, and all have five girls each. Vote for your favorite, the girl with the least votes each will be donezo. K? Let's go!
VOTE HERE:
HAPPY VOTING! Let's get to that 50 voters!

Kenneth Stadick Farm Retirement Auction
Opens Thursday March 11
Closes Tuesday, March 16 10AM
Preview will be March 8-16 from 9AM-5PM or by appointment and loadout is March 16-19 and March 22-26 from 9AM-5PM or by appointment. For information contact Kenneth, 701.426.0103 or Dave Benedict at Steffes Group, 701.237.9173 or 701.238.5062.
Flyer
Highlights:

• Tractors & Loaders
  • 2005 Case IH STX450
  • John Deere 7800
  • 1977 John Deere 4630
  • 1980 John Deere 4440
• Harvest Equipment
  • 2011 John Deere 9770
  • 2008 John Deere 936D
  • 2005 John Deere 635F Flex Head
  • John Deere 214 Pickup head