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ARK: Survival Evolved
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2023.06.02 07:04 RichEasy4855 Vulnerable long post about my lady parts…
So where do I begin… in 2018 I noticed I had a weird stench. It was similar to a fart smell. I noticed it it more one day when a girl I worked with signaled to someone else that I smelled. Super embarrassing ☹️. I thought ok maybe it’s the clothes I need to wash with different soaps maybe it’s my shoes I did work as a manger in a fast pace environment. Well no it was my vagina 😱. I was mortified! I couldn’t ever fathom I would be the stinky girl! It broke me. I immediately went to see my Gynecologist at the time and had test done. All came back negative. I even told her about the white discharge I was having she said it was related to me being fertile I said ok 😟. I am a very clean person I shower and I get in the books and crannies but I became super obsessive about it I bathed daily of course but sometimes 2/3 times too make sure I was clean smelled good but the smell still would creep out. I would use coconut nut oil raw because I heard it was good for antibacterial use so I soaked tampons in them and wear it. I would wear odd and tampons whether on my cycle or not! I noticed the smell went away after some time not sure if any of my hacks did the trick but fast forward to now. I lost over 100lbs from that time to now. I gave birth 10/2021. In 2020 I noticed the smell came back randomly I wasn’t sexually active at the time or doing much of any thing to have a smell of any sort. It stayed with me for a few days then gone. After I had my son and Went back to work all was well so I thought some one made a comment about a fart smell I died on the inside! I smelled it one time at work and knew it was me. People would spray perfume on me behind my back and try to sniff me and I seen a co-worker make the smelly hand motion. I was so defeated and depressed I didn’t know what I was doing wrong for this to happen again. I call my on/gyn tell her my symptoms really runny discharge like soak through my panties clear though and the fart smell with a poop smell as well. She swabs me for stds and all she says immediately had bv. I get my 1st round of metronidazole and no help with smell but less discharge. I go back and tell her the smell is still there well she gives me another round and suggest my partner does too so he gets a prescription. No help! The. I do clindamycin I get more relief of the discharge but the smell is still there. I start probiotics for like 3/4 months and did an evvy test which was interesting and helped. Well I had little to no smell some days and I was on with that it was lighter as well. Well here I am now with this smell back no heavy discharge just normal white sometimes thick discharge and I am at my wits end. I just want to feel normal again like a normal woman . I don’t want to feel disgusting and gross. This smell is haunted me for years and I know other people can smell it and that’s so awful. My question is has anyone ever been through this before? I am starting my probiotics again. I just can’t bring my self to go back to my gynecologist. She seen me every month from 05/22-12/22. I know she thinks I am a nutcase but the smell is there. It’s really only when I am clothed. My boyfriend smelled it one time in the car 10/22 and I blamed it on something outside. But I make him smell me and he says he doesn’t smell that smell. I know it’s there idk how to get rid of it. It’s making me lose myself and dragging me down.
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2023.06.02 07:02 RichEasy4855 Vulnerable post long post about my lady parts…
So where do I begin… in 2018 I noticed I had a weird stench. It was similar to a fart smell. I noticed it it more one day when a girl I worked with signaled to someone else that I smelled. Super embarrassing ☹️. I thought ok maybe it’s the clothes I need to wash with different soaps maybe it’s my shoes I did work as a manger in a fast pace environment. Well no it was my vagina 😱. I was mortified! I couldn’t ever fathom I would be the stinky girl! It broke me. I immediately went to see my Gynecologist at the time and had test done. All came back negative. I even told her about the white discharge I was having she said it was related to me being fertile I said ok 😟. I am a very clean person I shower and I get in the books and crannies but I became super obsessive about it I bathed daily of course but sometimes 2/3 times too make sure I was clean smelled good but the smell still would creep out. I would use coconut nut oil raw because I heard it was good for antibacterial use so I soaked tampons in them and wear it. I would wear odd and tampons whether on my cycle or not! I noticed the smell went away after some time not sure if any of my hacks did the trick but fast forward to now. I lost over 100lbs from that time to now. I gave birth 10/2021. In 2020 I noticed the smell came back randomly I wasn’t sexually active at the time or doing much of any thing to have a smell of any sort. It stayed with me for a few days then gone. After I had my son and Went back to work all was well so I thought some one made a comment about a fart smell I died on the inside! I smelled it one time at work and knew it was me. People would spray perfume on me behind my back and try to sniff me and I seen a co-worker make the smelly hand motion. I was so defeated and depressed I didn’t know what I was doing wrong for this to happen again. I call my on/gyn tell her my symptoms really runny discharge like soak through my panties clear though and the fart smell with a poop smell as well. She swabs me for stds and all she says immediately had bv. I get my 1st round of metronidazole and no help with smell but less discharge. I go back and tell her the smell is still there well she gives me another round and suggest my partner does too so he gets a prescription. No help! The. I do clindamycin I get more relief of the discharge but the smell is still there. I start probiotics for like 3/4 months and did an evvy test which was interesting and helped. Well I had little to no smell some days and I was on with that it was lighter as well. Well here I am now with this smell back no heavy discharge just normal white sometimes thick discharge and I am at my wits end. I just want to feel normal again like a normal woman . I don’t want to feel disgusting and gross. This smell is haunted me for years and I know other people can smell it and that’s so awful. My question is has anyone ever been through this before? I am starting my probiotics again. I just can’t bring my self to go back to my gynecologist. She seen me every month from 05/22-12/22. I know she thinks I am a nutcase but the smell is there. It’s really only when I am clothed. My boyfriend smelled it one time in the car 10/22 and I blamed it on something outside. But I make him smell me and he says he doesn’t smell that smell. I know it’s there idk how to get rid of it. It’s making me lose myself and dragging me down.
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2023.06.02 07:02 HealBeforeZod [FN] Part 9: The Perils of Reading in Bed
A few months prior
“His name is Benny.” Samantha explained to her great-grandson, little Sammy. The toddler’s small fingers poked the side of the faded, mangled stuff animal. As much as Samantha tried to repair Benny over the years, time, and the affection of her children and grandchildren, had taken a toll on the beloved toy.
“My mother, your great-great-grandmother, passed away a few weeks before I started high school. I was lost in the months that followed. Then my dear friend Benny came into my life, and I knew I wasn’t alone.” She smiled sadly. She had told some variation of the story to members of the family over decades and generations. “When you feel sad about your daddy, just give Benny a tight squeeze, and Benny will help you.” Samantha touched the toddler’s cheek lightly. Little Sammy did not say anything in reply, he just squeezed the stuffed animal tightly and nodded to his great-grandmother.
“Memaw, are you sure? Sam might not be gentle with Benny.” Beth vocalized her concerns. Samantha smiled at her granddaughter.
“Benny has already served me well. Now there’s a new child who could use his help.” Samantha responded. The grandmother and granddaughter exchanged a knowing look. The change in little Sammy’s demeanor since his father left was noticeable. Beth had done her best to play the role of both parents, and Walter had stepped in to help them both, but some things were difficult to explain to a child.
Little Sammy smacked the plush against the side of Samantha’s chair. Beth looked to her grandmother as if to say, “are you really, really sure?” Samantha just smiled and nodded. Beth had not been gentle either when she used to play with Benny during visits, nor had Walter. Seeing how little Sammy smacked the plush against the chair made Samantha think about how she would love to beat Beth’s no-good-deadbeat-ex to a pulp, but alas, the man was difficult to find. Even if she could find the scoundrel, she wasn’t exactly in a fighting condition at her age.
“Little Sammy, do you want to hear a secret?” Samantha asked. Little Sammy nodded yes. Samantha had Beth pick up the boy and set him in her lap. Samantha whispered into little Sammy’s ear. “I used to have a real pet dragon.” As she whispered the words, the boy’s eyes went wide. Ah, the wonders of childhood, she thought, a time when the mind is not yet closed to the possibility of fantastic truths. Samantha smiled, knowing only she and her late father knew it was true. She thought back to those days.
The sound of Hound Dog by Elvis Presley blared on the radio. Samantha danced around in her room, Benvolio stood up on two legs, swaying with the music and swishing his tail. He was getting bigger, having more than doubled his size in the last three months. At 18 inches long, he was too big for his old enclosure. The wings on his back were becoming more pronounced. Samantha’s dad shrugged and attributed it to some sort of deformation or mutation, but the truth was becoming harder to ignore.
Samantha’s dad rapped on the door and asked her to quiet down. Samantha turned off the music and walked over to the dresser where she had a book on standby.
“I have a new book for us today; we are going to read The Hobbit.” She lifted the book. “I haven’t read it yet, but everyone says it’s really good.” Benvolio lifted his wings in interest. Samantha picked him up and plopped down on the bed. She sat with one arm around Benvolio and the book propped up on some pillows. They began the journey to Middle-earth together.
Over the last few months together Samantha had noticed a change in Benvolio when she read. When Benvolio first came home with her, he seemed to react only to the pitch and tone of her voice. Lately, he seemed to recognize the words she spoke, reacting to them. Benvolio swished his tail joyfully as Samantha read the scene where the Dwarves showed up unexpectedly at Bilbo’s home. She chuckled and lightly bopped his snout with her finger.
As the story progressed Benvolio’s mood changed. When the characters in the story began to talk about slaying the dragon, Benvolio snarled and shook his head in protest, as though angered by the events in the story. Samantha stopped reading, realizing too late how the subject matter might be offensive to Benvolio. Benvolio’s scales felt hot to the touch, causing Samantha to loosen her hold on him. That is when it happened.
As if by a sneeze or cough, a tiny ball of flame erupted from Benvolio’s mouth and ignited the pages of the book. Samantha yelped in fright as a fire spread to the pillow beneath the book. She jumped up, instinctively scooping up Benvolio who was still hot to the touch. Samantha’s father barged into her room to find her furiously trying to put out the fire with a blanket. He ran out of the room and then returned with a bucket of water, extinguishing the flames and dousing Samantha’s bed. A startled Samantha and Benvolio both looked at the scorch marks on the bed. Samantha’s skin was red and blistering where she had handled the hot little dragon.
Samantha’s dad fetched the first aid kit. He looked at Benvolio and then turned his eyes to Samantha. The look in his eyes was somber.
“Sweetie, we need to talk.”
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2023.06.02 07:01 calliegirl88 F/35/5’7” [145-142 =3] 1 year apart. Spent last year losing 25ish lbs (was down 20 at time of first pic) and starting to strength train. Spent the last couple months going slightly heavier & deeper in my squats, this was the best glute comparison pic I had. Slow & steady recomp.
Debated if I should even post since it’s my booty on the internet by I’m very happy with the progress I’ve made in the last couple of months. Here’s the
link to my 1 year update complaining about how when I lost more weight my butt disappeared. Here’s a
link to a few more swimsuit angles. Since I started maintenance I’ve relaxed a bit about my daily protein intake and life made being as consistent with exercise more of a struggle. Happy with the balance I’ve got now and was able to start training a bit more again this last month. Been maintaining at right about 139-142 since Oct 2022.
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2023.06.02 07:01 SnoBun420 Finished Skyward Sword yesterday. I liked it.
Finished Skyward Sword yesterday. I liked it. Wii version btw.
Controls Guess the first thing to mention is the controls. You kind of have to since, motion controls are like half the identity of Skyward Sword. Well, first is to mention the non-motion controls. They’re fine. No problem there, as you would expect.
Anyway, I was okay with the motion controls. Well, I thought I was. For the most part the motion controls really just made certain things a bit more or a lot more cumbersome. So that was okay, I thought. Like, makes throwing bombs kinda annoying and stuff, and also they use motion controls in areas where it has no business being used of course, but even then I dealt with it fine. The only time it really annoyed me was in the stupid harp mingame in the pumpkin bar. Took me seven goddamn tries to beat it! So yeah, I thought it was still fine except that after beating the game I happened to play some Twilight Princess HD. Hadn’t played it in awhile and disc was nearby so why not?
Well, that certainly made Skyward Sword look worse. I thought I was generally okay with the motion controls but then playing TP it’s like, oh my god this is so much better. I can do exactly what I want when I want and not have to be overly careful with certain actions because of motion stuff. So yeah. I was kind of okay with the controls but it’s not something that made the game better for the most part
Other gameplay stuff So yeah, Fi pops up way too much. Everyone knows this but yeah like you’ll enter a room in a dungeon there is this thing that could take a little time to notice or figure out but Fi jumps out and spoils the damn thing lol.
Dowsing is a gimmick. It’s kinda lame but not the worse thing ever.
The items you get, I think that they are not that strong. The three new items are the gust bellow, Whip, and beetle. None of these items are truly new items. The gust bellow is a lamer version of the gust jar. Like, in Minish Cap that item could blow things, suck things up, do thing like pull in mushrooms to cross gaps, suck things, shoot them out, etc. The Gust Bellow is just clearing dust and blowing the propellers. Yeah, pretty weak. The whip is like the grappling hook and uh, yeah. It can pull some levers and stuff but come on, that’s not that interesting. Beetle is the hyoi pear in Wind Waker. This time it actually can do more though and has various useful upgrades. It’s a consistently useful thing and it’s cool. Bombs can also be rolled instead of just thrown overhead, so that’s neat even though I avoided using bombs when necessary because I didn’t like the controls for them. But compare this to Twilight Princess. The boomerang is basically the end result of additional features being added to it over the series. Wind Waker added the multi lock-on and Twilight added the wind effect. The Iron Boots had a whole new dimension added with the magnet walking thing. The Clawshots, instead of the upgrade being longer, you get two, which is more interesting for sure. The equivalent of the hammer type weapon is pretty much the ball and chain, and it stands out a lot more compared to the magic/megaton/skull hammer. The Spinner while limited (If you ever wished the Spinner was more useful, try Unsighted btw) was such a unique idea. I don’t think there was anything quite like it before. You get the idea. Oh yeah, the upgrade for the digging gloves was cool (Partially since one too many of the items in Skyward Sword are just the “use the thing on the thing” type) but I got tired of it so very quickly since there’s a cutscene to go underground, you have to use stamina to move faster, attacking is annoying, etc.
Stamina. I think it was handled fine. I will say that I think stamina made more sense in Skyward Sword then it did in BotW/TotK. Although again, playing Twilight Princess right after, I didn’t miss not having stamina one bit.
Combat. It’s what you expect out of 3D Zelda pre-BotW. This time they actually make use of the different directional slashes and stuff. First time you could parry enemy attacks I think. Also the vertical spin attack is really cool.
Silent Realm. I loved these. These were some of the best parts of the entire game.
Boss rush. I consider this to be the single worst implementation of a boss rush I have ever seen in a game. 3D Zelda bosses are not the most suited for a boss rush, but it’s worse here. Every time you defeat a boss you have to go through dialogue. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Why? And then the Imprisoned is part of boss rush? My god. Didn’t bother with clearing the whole thing. Just got the Hylian Shield then quit because I didn’t want to risk failing the third Imprisoned fight and losing everything. Really, really bad.
The Imprisoned. I didn’t mind the second refight because there was a good amount of time between the first two fights and there was a new mechanic added. But for the third to happen so soon afterwards? Really?
The sky. So, I heard the sky was empty. And it is. I didn’t mind that much though. Ironically Skyward Sword has the emptiest overworld in addition to the densest overworld among 3D Zeldas.
Environment variety. This is one of the biggest issues with Skyward Sword I feel. You have the three main zones and revisit them repeatedly. But first, was it necessary to have a desert and a volcano zone? I mean, you only have three, so I would think you would want to have them be as distinct as possible. For the desert to be after the volcano, it does feel repetitious. But you revisit the forest later and go to the lake, that’s fine I guess. It’s a new area although you just kinda go through it. The volcano, the other area is more volcano. The desert? Well, more desert. It all looks very samey. There’s even two fire temples, which doesn’t help.
Out of the 3D Zeldas I’ve played I think Skyward Sword feels the most “video-gamey.” The overworld areas being so dense is part of the problem. While I was okay with it in this game, I don’t need to see it return. It has a real negative effect on the way the world feels. It feels the least organic. Like, there’s all these things around and it was/is all for this little platforming challenge or small puzzle or whatever. Like, it obviously feels like “oh yeah, this is this small challenge to get around this or find this thing” and much of the world is like that. Having only one town that is disconnected from the areas contributes to the feeling. The sky world too, since it’s largely empty it feels a bit like a glorified level select hub.
Padding. Yeah, there’s a lot of it. How much it bothers you depends obviously. I heard of the Tadtones but that didn’t bother me much. Had good music, swimming was enjoyable enough, yeah. The other region equivalents were fine too but yeah it’s undeniable. The biggest issue is that it comes at the cost of the feeling of adventure. Like, going to new areas and stuff. Tough to feel that way when you have only three areas and you go back to them over and over and.
Shield durability, crafting stuff, collectibles. I don’t really know why the shield durability was a thing. It doesn’t add much to the game. My guess is that either they were overcompensating because of how powerful the shield in the previous two 3D Zeldas was and/or they needed to have more stuff for you to use money/materials on. The crafting materials is part of a long-standing problem the Zelda series has had that is still a thing to this very day in the newer games. I mentioned this in my TotK post I think but Zelda games after some point started to feel like they didn’t have enough interesting permanent things to find in the world. Like, it’s mainly rupees, less commonly pieces of heart and even more rarely more unique one of a kind rewards. It wasn’t a problem with the smaller games but the when you increase the scale of the game, you need to also followup with the stuff to find. The issue is very obvious in Skyward Sword because it’s like, gee, we don’t have enough interesting things in the world so let’s have a bunch of random bugs and junk to collect to be used in the mainly pointless durability system and upgrades. If you had the upgrade system in previous Zelda games what would be the cost? Money. Just money. But now you need money and other random stuff. I feel like it was what led to some of the stuff in BotW. There’s actually a handful of things in BotW that came directly from Skyward Sword, ironically enough.
Timeshift Stones were fun. The devs thought so apparently given how much they use the mechanic. Still, it was interesting enough to where it didn’t get old.
Dungeons were fine. I feel like I’ve heard people seriously hype of the SS dungeons and I didn’t really see it. Maybe my expectations were too high but yeah the Sandship did stand out. The sliding puzzle dungeon was also cool although the speed brought it down.
Adventure’s Pouch. This was a cool idea. I would say it’s a shame this didn’t return but BotW was the next one. Although I’m sure they still could’ve had this in some way, like you can choose between more space for weapons or more space for food. Something.
The medals are a neat idea although the actual medals themselves are uninteresting. Charms from Hollow Knight these are not.
Tedium. This is an issue. The repeated visits to areas, Fi popping up then needed, the pauses when you pick up crafting materials, crafting, etc.
Story So, about the story. Over the years I knew plenty of things about Skyward Sword but I never actually played it until now. One of the things I heard about was that it was more story and/or character driven. Like, it’s pretty apparent at the beginning of the game with the thing between Link, Zelda, and Groose. But that’s the thing. That rivalry/love triangle/whatever is a thing…...at the beginning. Like, what I saw of Zelda at the start made her pretty much my favorite version of the character in the series. And then it basically goes away for 90% of the game. Zelda herself disappears almost entirely. Zelda being out of commission for most of the game is nothing new to Zelda games but it’s worse here because of lively she was at the start. To have all that just for it to vanish is why it sucks so much.
Like, I thought there is this rivalry thing with Groose but after the game starts for real you don’t see him until like three dungeons later. Wtf?
So yeah, the characters had this promise but it doesn’t pay off when they aren’t present for much of the game. The other stuff like the master sword, well I don’t know if we really needed to know how it came to be. It’s fine, but whatever. Girahim is fine. Just fine. Fi, well nobody cares about this non-character, but I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before.
Music Some nice songs. Some highlights were the bamboo island theme, miniboss theme, and Lake Floria Underwater.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvA1h3P2ddY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ilC01aCgF4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L59rsOOZ1KY End Anyway yeah. I enjoyed the game although I think it started to run out of steam in the later part. Not one of my favorite Zeldas but still enjoyable enough. I’ll go through it again someday on the HD version instead but that likely won’t be anytime soon. Lastly, I can see how this led to BotW since certain things started to become predictable in the series.
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2023.06.02 07:01 JCD_007 Digital Reality - Part 24
Link to Part 1 Link to Part 2 Link to Part 3 Link to Part 4 Link to Part 5 Link to Part 6 Link to Part 7 Link to Part 8 Link to Part 9 Link to Part 10 Link to Part 11 Link to Part 12 Link to Part 13 Link to Part 14 Link to Part 15 Link to Part 16 Link to Part 17 Link to Part 18 Link to Part 19 Link to Part 20 Link to Part 21 Link to Part 22 Link to Part 23 Note: This story is meant to be read after completing DDLC Plus. All credit for the original DDLC and DDLC Plus characters and world goes to their creator. Some concepts like the Universal Constructor are also borrowed from other series (most notably the original Deus Ex), though its use in this story is my own idea. My original characters in this story will deliberately not be named and their descriptions will be kept vague, so anyone reading this who wants to see themselves in one of the original characters can more easily do so. I'd welcome any feedback and will post more parts as I write them. I hope you enjoy the story. This chapter took a bit longer due to the challenges inherent in writing poetry and trying to write something that I thought sounded like the various characters. As with previous installations, here is a custom dialogue to go with it:
The Poetry Festival Credit for Sayuri's character design goes to user Hoeruko who made the design a number of years ago and originally posted Sayuri in this thread:
The next doki fusion, Sayuri, is here.
Here is Part 24 of Digital Reality. The Literature Club finally gets to put on the festival. Will their words have an impact on any of the MES engineers? Will they get Monika back?
Part 24: Digital Poetry The Literature Club members all stood together in the club room and waved a greeting to the group in the MES conference room.
“Hi everyone!” Sayori began, “On behalf of the Literature Club, thank you for joining us today. I’m Sayori, and this is Yuri, MC, Natsuki, and our newest member, Sayuri. Though our club president Monika isn’t here right now, we’ve all written poems to share with you today.”
“Don’t forget the cupcakes,” Natsuki added, “I don’t usually share it, but you should have my recipe for the best cupcakes ever in the packets you have. I made some for us to share here, but since we don’t have a way to send them to the real world, I figured sharing the recipe was the next best thing!”
The MES engineers flipped through the packets on the table in front of them.
“A cupcake recipe?” asked Rea Vorte with surprise, “You can’t just make cupcakes appear in the simulation?”
“No,” Natsuki replied, “Knowing what we now know about our world I know why you would think that, but I’ve always made my cupcakes with a recipe and ingredients.”
“Interesting,” Ro Teether said, “I would not have expected the simulation to go into that level of detail.”
“I think the original script contained an event in which the characters can bake cupcakes, so that may be where it comes from,” replied Ive Laster.
Paula Miner sat silently, looking intently at the recipe page. After a few moments she looked up.
“I’m by no means an expert baker, but reading through this recipe it does look like it would work,” Miner said, glancing from Laster to Natsuki, “Your secret ingredient is rather interesting, too.”
Natsuki smiled, “That’s how I’ve always made them.”
“By the way, since we’re on a two-way connection, can they see us?” Miner asked.
“Sort of,” the FXI President replied, “They’ve told me when I’ve been connected to the system that I appear as a fuzzy silhouette to them.”
“Yeah, we can’t see you exactly, but we know you’re there,” Sayori confirmed.
Miner nodded slowly. “Very well. We’ll need to chat about this cupcake recipe more later. Please continue.”
“Okay!” Sayori said, “We’ve each written a poem that we’re going to share with you today. There’s no particular theme that connects them all, but with everything that we’ve learned in the past week we thought that writing was a good outlet for our thoughts and emotions.”
“MC has agreed to start today’s event by sharing his haiku, entitled ‘Poem About Poetry’,” Sayori continued.
MC stepped to the front of the group. He looked down at his piece of paper and then back up at the group as he began to speak.
“I’m far from as good of a writer as some of the other members you’ll hear from today, but that just means that the quality can go up from here,” MC said in a self-deferential tone, “This is a poem I wrote about the creative process of writing poetry.”
He winked at Sayori as he began to read.
“
What is poetry? Far more meaningful than just Simply random words” Natsuki grinned. “Wow, you didn’t take my advice about not just throwing random words on a page, you literally wrote a poem about it!”
“Haiku is an interesting choice,” Teether said, “It shows an understanding of syllables and structure, and I find it very ‘meta’ that you would choose to create a poem about poetry.”
MC nodded, “My past poetry has been accused of being nothing more than twenty random words on a page, so I’m poking fun at myself a bit.”
“Well done, MC,” Sayori said, “That was a fun poem! Next up will be Yuri, with her poem called ‘The City.’”
Yuri stepped to the front of the group. She glanced to the side, looking slightly nervous. After a few moments, she seemed to gather her thoughts and looked toward the group. “My poem is not as straightforward as MC’s haiku, so I would prefer not to share the meaning until after you have had the opportunity to consider it for yourselves.”
She started to read, her voice becoming stronger and more confident with each word.
“
A city stood in the distance. Shining lights, soaring towers. A beautiful and magnificent place. A place of honor and achievement When viewed from afar with detachment. Though upon arrival The city unveils its truth. There is no honor here. Glowing lights Are cold and artificial. I thought I knew this place But it treats me as a stranger.” Yuri looked around the club room after she had finished speaking. An enigmatic smile of satisfaction crossed her face.
Sayori spoke up first. “Yuri, it seems like your poem could be about changes in perspective over time. Like going back to visit a neighborhood you’ve moved away from. You know things aren’t as they once were, but you still kind of feel lonely when you find that things have changed.”
Yuri nodded. “That’s part of it. We’ve all experienced a significant change recently as we’ve understood our world, and I struggled to find a way to describe what I was feeling. Places that had been familiar to me suddenly appeared different with the knowledge that this is a simulation.”
“So the AIs can not only write poetry but use metaphors and explain their meaning,” Teether observed, “Fascinating. Ive, you never told me that the entities in VM1 were capable of creativity like this.”
Laster shrugged, “Other than Monika, they were tied to the script until recently. Based on Monika’s behavior, we knew that at least she was capable of taking initiative and making changes to the world, but she was the only entity able to do that. The script included poetry, but we’ve never tasked the entities with creating original content.”
“This isn’t because of anything that the FXI team did, right?” Teether asked, “I know you mentioned that they were responsible for all of the entities gaining elevated access permissions. They didn’t extend the script or anything?”
“Yes and no,” the FXI CTO replied, “We restored files to the VM and added the ‘monitor kernel access’ permission to all of the characters, but we didn’t do any scripting. This is all them.”
Miner glanced between the FXI President and the FXI CTO with suspicion but said nothing.
Sayori took the pause as an opportunity to continue. “Thanks, Yuri. Natsuki will be next with her poem, ‘My Friends.’”
“Okay, time for my poem!” Natsuki said, “Mine is a bit more upbeat than Yuri’s.”
“
Some come from near Some from afar Each shines bright like a star They’re my friends That’s who they are Old or new Many or few Friends are important To me and you” Natsuki smiled at the group, “You all inspired this poem. And by you all I mean both you all here in the club and our new FXI friends. You’ve made the literature club a place that I’ve enjoyed and a place of friendship.”
“I liked your poem, Natsuki,” Sayori said, “I’m glad you feel that way about your friends.”
A look somewhere between exhaustion and frustration came across Paula Miner’s face. “This is all well and good, but are we gathering any useful data from listening to an AI read a cute little poem like this?”
Natsuki glared at Miner and opened her mouth to offer what was certain to be a sarcastic retort, but Sayori pre-empted her.
“Are you not enjoying our poetry?” Sayori asked, sounding disappointed.
“The poetry is fine. I’ll even say it’s impressive for AI-generated content,” Miner replied, “But though your poems are interesting, we’re here to do a job, not study literature. And we need to gather useful data to justify our own jobs and this project’s existence. So tell me, Ive, are we getting useful data from this?”
Laster tapped a few keys on his laptop. “We’re recording this session and logging all data. It looks like there may be some interesting patterns of activity, but we won’t be able to say for sure until we analyze what we’ve got.”
“I’d imagine that you’re likely getting a lot of useful data,” the FXI President chimed in, “You’re not only gathering the data logs from VM1, but you can pair them with the recordings to understand what happens in the system when the AIs are allowed to interact and create on their own. I don’t know what your project goals are, of course, but in terms of AI research I’d think that there’s something you can get out of this.”
“There also may be something useful for our efforts to stabilize our connection to VM2,” Teether added, “If we can understand how entities operate when freed from a script in VM1, it may give us some clues as to how we might be able to interact with VM2.”
Miner considered for a moment and then nodded. “Perhaps you’re right. Ive, let’s just make sure we’re logging everything for future analysis.”
As the conversation once again died down, Sayori continued. “I’ll go next. My poem is called ‘A New Day’ and it’s about my journey with some personal challenges.”
She took a deep breath and began to recite her poem.
“S
torms tried to block out the sun The world was dark and gray. It’s so hard to have any fun When the clouds won’t go away. But you never stopped trying To shine through the darkness Even when I was crying You showed me kindness It’s a new day now Though the clouds aren’t gone The sun shines somehow I find the strength to carry on” Sayori blinked away misty eyes as she finished reading. The other club members surrounded her in a group hug as she stepped back from the front of the room.
“That was a wonderful poem, Sayori,” MC said, “You share your feelings so well.”
“I liked that poem quite a bit,” Laster chimed in, “It’s got a great message of perseverance and hope even in challenging times.”
Sayori nodded. “I’ve been through a lot, but things are getting better now. My friends have been a huge source of support through all of this.”
“I really like your writing, Sayori,” Sayuri added, “Your poem is easy to read but the more you think about it, the more you feel the emotions you’re trying to convey.”
“Thanks, everyone. I appreciate your kind words,” Sayori replied, “And now for the finale of our festival I’d like to introduce our newest member, Sayuri, and her poem ‘What Remains.’”
Sayuri stepped to the front of the group. “I’ve been reading through classic poetry recently. Poems like Shelley’s ‘Ozymandias’ inspired me to write this one about what will stand the test of time in a time when so much is digital.”
Sayuri paused, looking around the room, before closing her eyes and reciting her poem from memory.
“
Ancient monuments that still stand Classic portraits and landscapes grand Such works are the legacies of the past Physical objects that will last But what will tell of this new age? When are stories are gigabytes, not a printed page A digital reality, its purpose completed Leaves little trace if it’s deleted If all that remains is a dusty drive Will the future know we were alive?” Sayuri opened her eyes as she finished. Both the club room and the MES conference room were silent as both groups took in her words.
“Wow, Sayuri,” Yuri said, breaking the silence, “That was incredible. I really loved the images you created with your words.”
The FXI President glanced around the conference room. Paula Miner’s expression had softened, and she appeared to be lost in thought. Ro Teether continued to look excited and intrigued by his observations of the Literature Club. The FXI CTO wore a satisfied smile. Ive Laster looked relaxed and relieved. And Rea Vorte was looking down at the conference table and shaking her head. Her expression was difficult to read.
Miner looked up at the screen showing the Literature Club. “I never thought an AI would generate content that would make me feel anything. But I have to say this has given me some things to think about. Ive, can you please confirm that we’ve logged all the data from this session?”
Laster nodded. “Yes, we’ve got everything. If this is the last big data gathering session we have before decommissioning VM1, I’d say it’s a pretty good one to go out on.”
“If this is truly AI-generated content, this seems like a new level of sophistication,” Teether mused, “It’s one thing to be able to generate text, but to be able to convey this kind of emotion and explain the meaning of metaphors is not a capability I’ve ever seen in AI.”
“It’s a little scary,” Rea Vorte added, “I don’t know that I like the idea of AI this sophisticated. Especially after what we saw Monika-”
“Let’s refrain from speculation,” Miner said, cutting Vorte off, “We can talk more about system capabilities later.”
“You think we’re scary?” Sayori said, looking sad, “We just wanted to share our writing with you. We just wanted to show that we’re not that different from you. We have feelings, emotions, and desires just like you do.”
“You’ve got my vote, for whatever it’s worth,” the FXI CTO said with a smile, “I’m not big into poetry, and I certainly had my concerns about sophisticated AI when I first encountered all of you. But the more I’ve interacted with and observed you the more I see how similar you are to us.”
Miner glanced sideways at the FXI CTO but said nothing.
“Can we please have Monika back now?” Natsuki asked.
Laster turned to Vorte, “Rea, please move Monika’s file back to VM1 by COB today. Let’s discuss how we can best move the entire simulation after we’re done here.”
“Thanks, Ive!” Natsuki said with a smile, “Sayori did a great job leading the club in Monika’s absence, but it will be good to have her back.”
Vorte looked up at Laster. Frustration was evident on her face. “Like I said before, let’s discuss that offline after we’re done here.”
Laster shrugged. “Fine. I’m not blaming you if there’s a problem by the way. If there’s an issue, we’ll work on it together.”
“Great job, everyone,” the FXI President said to the Literature Club, “We’re going to log off from VM1 now, but I’m sure we’ll talk again soon.”
The Literature Club members waved to the group in the MES conference room as the club room faded from the projection screen to be replaced with Laster’s desktop.
“I think we have a lot to discuss, and it’s going to take some time to unpack the implications of everything that we just saw,” Miner said, “I was skeptical of the value of this presentation at the start of this meeting, but I’m hopeful that we have gathered new and useful data from this session. Let’s all take a break for a bit and reconvene at six, which gives us an hour break. I want to discuss this further. Ro, can you please order in some dinner for the group? I think we’re going to have a long night.”
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2023.06.02 07:01 xonp_ How do I open my essential oil bottle?
I feel really, really stupid asking this but I’m seriously clueless lol. I bought an essential oil for the first time, the rosemary from deve herbs, and I legit don’t know how to open the bottle. I took the cap off but then there’s like a plastic thing inside the opening of the bottle that doesn’t seem like it’s supposed to come out, and it also came with a little nozzle looking thing. I don’t know if I’m supposed to stick the nozzle and break through the thing in the bottle or rip the thing in the bottle out? I’m lost 💀
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2023.06.02 07:00 Loud-Passenger2626 How did you achieve your first 10 min set?
I’m interested to know how did you achieve your first 10 min set, long cycle or snatch. It seems like such a unbelievably long time for a set. What progression did you use? Did you just slowly increase the reps or use a time based approach?
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2023.06.02 07:00 fuckexistance Landlord talking about a $130 - $150 increase
| They said it doesn't affect their mortgage repayments slightly "going from very very cheap to very cheap." The suburb wasn't listed but the lease ends in 2 months so I feel very sorry for the tenant. submitted by fuckexistance to brisbane [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 07:00 rJoseph168 i think it’s over between me and her
it was so hard for me to tell her that i don’t want to talk anymore, partially selfish reasons but now that i think i lost her i see how special she is, this one is going to hurt maybe even a tear down my check.
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2023.06.02 06:59 Joey_The_Bean_14 A friend just said I'm the reason they're alive and idk how to tell them I shouldn't be.
I'm not a good role model, even for myself. I get really moody and have issues keeping friends. I can be really mean or straightforward, coming off as rude. I can't even be a good friend to myself and this really caught me off guard.
My friend, X, (closeted trans emo) told me that they look up to me and that I'm the reason they keep going.
I don't want to be a role model. I don't want the responsibility of being a reliable person for someone who is suicidal so heavily.
I've been in their place before and I know how it feels go be lost and have a friend to look up to but I lost that friend and I'm afraid they may lose me too.
Idk what to do. I want to tell X not to look up to me, but I don't want to risk making things worse for them.
Tldr: suicidal friend said I'm the reason they're alive but I'm not ready to take that responsibility because I'm not a good role model.
Any advice?
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2023.06.02 06:59 FatzFrmLoafinOnJaro Innocent Members.
A list of official members that were cool but not actually gangsters or actively gang banging in the streets. You can argue rather they are innocent or not since they we’re claiming something which was the ultimate reason for their deaths but they weren’t bad people and wasn’t out there doing stuff to people to deserve to die.
-Baldy(F$/600), he was a day 1 member from the 6217 Met building so he was cool with most BDs from Frontstreet and Brickcity/600. Yes he was a BD himself but he was out of the way and respected solely for being a cool guy from the neighborhood. He had a child not long before he passed and wasn’t in that lifestyle. Tay Capone also confirmed Baldy was innocent in an interview saying Baldy wasn’t the type to pick up guns. He was good friends with Drose and LA Capone. He was only 19. (RIP Baldy)
-Modell(STL/EBT), Modell was a school kid claiming STL and EBT. Thats the neighborhood he and his family lived in. However Modell wasn’t in the streets so this would come back later and unfortunately catchup with him since he was claiming it still. He was cool with STL but he was more so a part time employee if thats how you want to look at it which is why most of STL/FBG claims Modell wasn’t STL. They not once declaimed Modell as their friend though big difference. He was only 16.
-Tooka(STL/Eblock), Tooka died very young I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything but that alone sets the bar low if he ever done anything excessively crazy. He was from 75th(Eblock) at first, his own momma and all of his friends from Duck, Dutchie, Cball and even his own mother and brother on separate occasions have all said Tooka was laid back guy who only smoked weed and like to talk to girls. FBG Butta even went as far to say the worst thing Tooka probably had even done was jump on somebody or steal from downtown and that Tooka wouldn’t hurt a fly. Tooka was a school kid too and died waiting for a Bus to a wrestling match.
-2cups(TFG), Mensa was only focused on getting money and stayed out of the way. He died pushing someone in a wheelchair when somebody ran up shooting at him(RIP).
-Fathead(051 YM), Like Modell he was a school kid who wasn’t in the streets but be was affiliated with family members and friends who are. This cost him his life as well since he was claiming a hood but Fathead certainly didn’t deserve die and was only 14. All of Fathead friends speak highly of him as a person who shared and gives his last to you.
-Alamo(TerrorTown), he was out of the way and actually left his house to run to the store real fast having dinner with his family later. Alamo was bystander.
-Shaq(6217/600), like Baldy. Shaq was only from the Met building yes he was an official member from the hood but he wasn’t a gangster or active in the streets. He had a child and wasn’t in that lifestyle when he died. He was cool with Edai and Breezy.
-Malc(Dblock), yes Malc was a gang member from the neighborhood he lived in. But King Von and Malc before that day he died weren’t opps at all. Malcom was a bystander at the scene in which be died this is just common sense. Oblock and Malc’s hood are not into it at all Malc lost his life unfortunately because he was affiliated with a friend who happened to be Von’s opp from Jarocity.
Side Note: Dale, Whitey, P5, and Koby from NLMB were also out of the way but I won’t include them in this because they were older or really out there at a point of time.
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2023.06.02 06:59 bbbruh57 Any other pre-transitioners feel like life is paused?
It feels like this thing on the horizon I have to build up the courage to do but I'm scared. I feel like life cant move forward until I start, but I dont know how to start taking those steps. I want to try out dating but cant before I start. Its frustrating because I want to move forward but I feel held back in so many ways
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2023.06.02 06:58 weluvreggaepotato Should I leave?
My boyfriend 26M and I (25F) have been together for almost 2 years now. We were friends first and we had been doing really great until he lost his job in February. He was terminated, they gave no reason. He requested to keep the laptop, they agreed, until they called and asked for it back in April. He also had two car accidents and his car is completely totaled. He lives with his parents.They have been contributing a lot to his mental decline as well, he saw his parents texting about his recent unemployment and they seemed excited about it, saying they can’t wait to see how he decides to go out now that he’s been fired. His dad offered to pay for his car as well, but it looks very unlikely so far. He has been more hard on himself, questioning his worth and his contribution in my life and everyone around him. He tells me that the first thing on his mind every morning is that he’s living in his worst nightmare and he’s stumped because he doesn’t know how to wake up from it. He’s started a business, it’s bringing some money, but not as much as he’s used to and it’s not as stable. He applies to jobs every day too. He’s been so unhappy lately and most of the time he would call me and not speak at all. He used to cry a lot before, but now he’s a bit distant. He seems numb right now, his libido has taken a hit, he used to do drugs recreationally but he’s taken a break from that too. He told me that he’s scared that he can’t meet my emotional needs right now, because he can’t take care of me or avoid needing financial support from his parents. I really wish I could help him, but I know that there’s only so much I can say. I can tell that he loves me, I love him so much and I believe he’s worth it, but is this me being codependent? I got someone to work with him on his portfolio, he rejected the request, saying he didn’t trust the person. I send him job applications when I can, he fills them in and I reassure him that he’s still worth it, and he’s more than what he has financially. I’m really hoping that things work out for him, because we’ve spoken and we agree that his depression is the only thing we’re battling.
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2023.06.02 06:58 Shyamfuture Zipper monofilament yarn manufacturer: Understanding monofilament yarns & their manufacturing
| The properties of a textile yarn are not only reliant on the base material of a yarn the yarn count. The properties of a thread are also determined by the production process to turn the base polymer into the final yarn. There are three main types of yarn: monofilament yarn, multifilament yarn, and spun yarn. These are distinguished by the arrangement of the fibres in the yarn. https://preview.redd.it/s2d59pxbdj3b1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b807afc62316f3cdb594066e7dc11aebe42ab8a2 Monofilament fibre is strong enough to be helpful without being twisted with other filaments into a yarn. Therefore, monofilament does not facilitate the weaving braiding of the textile industry's tightest and most efficient woven fabrics. The top Zipper monofilament yarn manufacturer in Uttar Pradesh offers the best quality at the best prices. Spun Vs Filament Yarns Yarns fall into two primary groups, spun and filament. Spun yarns are made from staple-length fibres. Staple fibres are short fibres only a couple of inches long - like cotton. But long filament fibres can also be cut up into staple lengths. To make a spun yarn, all of the fibres need to face the same direction; mechanical twisting then holds the fibres together. Filament yarns are made from filament fibres. Filament fibres are generally manufactured (except for silk) and have a long fibre length. Because filament fibres are less chaotic than staple fibres, their yarns need deficient amounts of twist to hold them together. Understanding monofilament yarns Monofilament yarns consist of a single filament. For example, fishing lines, 3d printing filaments, and strimmer wire are standard monofilaments. These monofilament yarns are produced using the same process as all other filament extrusions, given the same material. Nylon and polyester filaments are produced using a method called melt spinning. Polymer chips are heated to the material's melting temperature and extruded through a spinneret device, which forces the polymer through a small precision-driven hole that decides the size and shape of the filament. Once the extruded filament has cooled down somewhat or entirely, it goes through the drawing-out process discussed above, increasing the strength and length of the final yarn. Nylon, for example, is drawn out to four times its non-drawn-out size. All else being equal, monofilament yarns are the least flexible yarns compared to spun and multifilament yarns. Therefore, clothing made from monofilament fabric is rare. However, it is often woven into fabrics for industrial applications like filtration, where characteristics such as vibration fatigue and work-hardening resistance are valued. How to Use Monofilament Thread? When sewing with a monofilament thread, employ a 60-70 weight needle because of the finesse of the thread. Also, you'll want the needle to have a sharp point, like a Microtex needle. The bobbin thread can also be almost anything from lightweight bobbin thread to a 50-wt—cotton thread. You may also even use monofilament thread in the bobbin. If you do, wind the bobbin slowly to keep it from stretching. Size refers to thickness of the thread. Our monofilament thread sizes vary from almost hair thin and delicate to yarn strong enough for upholstery. As thickness increases, the thread's strength also increases, becomes more visible, and the yards-per-ounce of the thread decrease. The sizes 003 to 011 can be used with most home sewing machines. Size .012 typically requires a commercial device. https://preview.redd.it/dhl1ulakdj3b1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e33f7861474aade149a0a05adaffcbe9a0f0e716 Monofilament Thread Buying Guide Monofilament thread, is precisely what its name says - a thread with a single filament. Monofilament thread is semi-translucent and the first choice for sewing the "invisible" stitches. The Monofilament Thread Buying Guide helps customers to get the right thread to meet their needs. Our approach is to help decide if monofilament thread suits your needs, identify which sizes (thicknesses) should be used for typical monofilament applications, and provide specifications for each size. Our clear and smoke monofilament threads have a semi-translucent quality that helps them blend in with the fabric you are sewing. This makes monofilament thread a brilliant choice for blind stitching, making exposed stitches or seams as much "invisible" as possible. It is also a great alternative if you cannot find a thread colour that matches your fabric. Monofilament thread feels like a fishing line but is too prone to tangling on reels. The monofilament thread goes up to about 0.012 inches, whereas the fishing line usually starts at 0.013 inches. Use clear monofilament with light colours and smoke monofilament with dark colours for the best results. submitted by Shyamfuture to u/Shyamfuture [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 06:56 Johndgreatest CUDOS COMMUNITY
The regular upgrading of the project's technology has made it increasingly difficult to stay abreast of all the most recent alterations and advances. This is why it's so beneficial to join a crypto community to stay updated on all the most recent project advancements. This is how the decentralized cloud computing network CUDOS works. The only way to keep up with all the changes in the CUDOS ecosystem is to be a community member. CUDOS has a very broad ecosystem that constantly increasing with new research and updates.
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2023.06.02 06:56 SkywayFishersSequel After playing 134 games of Hex-a-Thon over the last week, these are the approximate likelihoods you'll see each round as a final
The most common final was Hex-a-Terrestrial with 48 out of 134 games (~36%) having it as the final.
Second most common was Hex-a-Gone with 45 out of 134 (~34%).
Last place was Hex-a-Ring with 41 out of 134 (~30%).
I remembered a
previous post which,
among other things, detailed the likelihood of each being a final last time Hex-a-Thon was around and started counting, wondering if the likelihoods changed with any significance. The previous post used data from 82 games and concluded the most common final was Hex-a-Gone at a whopping 43% and the least common was Hex-a-Ring with 25%. I'm no trained statistician but my data set is 63% larger so I should be 63% more accurate right? I don't actually know how much more accurate my numbers are, or if the difference in this event's likelihoods compared to the previous event's or the 33.3%/33.3%/33.3% ideal split is statistically significant. If you're more numerically inclined please let me know.
Every single game I played I stayed at least until the second round to figure out what the final was to prevent skill-based biases. I almost never lost on the first round but when I did it was almost always Hex-a-Gone.
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2023.06.02 06:56 Internal_Echo1815 *FUN* MAOKAI BUILD FOR ANY GAME IN LEAGUE! - THE RETURN OF THE SAPPLING?
This build is the most fun I have ever had in league because the enemies get so annoyed lol. I play this in norms.
Runes:
Dark Harvest
Cheap Shot
Eyeball Collection
Treasure Hunter
Transedence
Waterwalking
Ability Haste, Adaptive, Health
Items:
Red Smite, Potion, oracle/ward trinket - depends if you invading/strategy early
Demonic Embrace First Buy
Sorc Boots/Ability Haste Boots - I use Sorcs but up to you and also its cheaper with haste boots.
Liandrys Mythic
Horizon Focus - I think this item is bugged on Maokai because the damage on the passive seems to be doing the same if the game goes long enough as demonic embrace. (I also think it increases the max health damage from the demonic and liandrys) - please comment if this is the case.
Third and Forth Item situational:
Cosmic Drive, Zhonyas, Morrelo, Deathcap, Shadow Flame, Banshees Veil, Void Staff, Imperial Mandate.
Strategy:
All you have to do is play with your E and set up objectives with saplings in bushes.
One Fun strategy is placing 3-4 sapplings in one bush wait for the enemy to come, preferably squishy and you can one shot them depending on how many dark harvest stacks you have which I have been able to achieve.
Warning enemies may type in chat to say how broken Maokai still is lol.
This is the most fun I have had in a while with this build so I wanted to share it.
:D
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2023.06.02 06:55 AutoModerator [Download Course] Robert Kyosaki Ultimate Collection Bundle (Genkicourses.com)
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If you're wondering why our courses are priced lower than the original prices and are feeling a bit suspicious (which is understandable), we can provide proof of the course's contents. We can provide a screenshot of the course's contents or send you a freebie, such as an introduction video or another video from the course, to prove that we do have the course. Should you wish to request proof, we kindly ask you to reach out to us. Please be aware that our courses do not include community access. This is due to the fact that we do not have the authority to manage this feature. Despite our desire to incorporate this aspect, it is, unfortunately, unfeasible. Explore affordable learning at Genkicourses.site 🎓! Dive into a world of quality courses handpicked just for you. Download, watch, and achieve more without breaking your budget. submitted by AutoModerator to BestCoursesAreHere [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 06:55 bolockbee My relationship is being greatly impacted by my partner and her best friend (both 19F) and I don’t know if I should just leave.
I recently got into a relationship with someone I really, really, like. We’re not girlfriends yet but our dynamic is basically the same. I really care about her and want her in my future even though we’ve been together for nearly four months— but her best friend is ruining my commitment and I’m unsure why. I would love some advice on what to do. Please bear with me if you can read through it all.
Her best friend, whom my partner loves very much and has told me, “I need her in my life”, is negatively affecting our relationship and this has been going on since we first got together. They’re roommates so I saw the both of them very frequently. I first thought her bestie was really cool, funny, and just really fun to hang out with. But I got to know my partner’s third roommate really well because we’re in the same program, and so my partner’s best friend started to feel a lot of FOMO and resentment towards my partner and I. This builds upon some conflict my partner and her best friend went through, where her bestie confided in her and felt that she couldn’t trust her anymore because she didn’t react in a specific way, and they both never addressed it and moved on pretending nothing happened. Everytime I would be over or around her best friend with my partner in the same room, her best friend would just shut down, go into her room, obvious shift in her mood, and wouldn’t talk to us. My partner loves her very much and even since we got together, she tends to try to regulate and make her best friend happy whenever she’s upset, which is very frequent (to the point where she questioned if she had a mood disorder). She’s mentioned to me before that sometimes she would feel guilty hanging out with me knowing that her best friend was sad. I stopped coming over to her place anymore and we would try to avoid her. It wasn’t too bad when we made that change. When summer started in May, things got better for my relationship because we weren’t around her anymore. Outside of this situation, our relationship is amazing. I’ve never met someone as smart, beautiful, talented, and all the above other than being the biggest people pleaser I know. I have fun with her, I can open up to her, and I can see a future with her. She has a big heart but she gets exhausted from it and it’s hard for me to see it. I have yet to commit and ask her to be my girlfriend because of the recent conflict.
Where I’m having difficulty right now is because her best friend conflict is emerging again. Summer has been awesome so far except the past two weeks. My partner and her best friend recently had a chat to clear up misunderstandings and “talk” about my affect on her best friend. My partner described it as a really good conversation, saying how everything should be fine now and they’re doing good. Yet, all they talked about in their conversation, similar to the previous ones they’ve had because of me, was just about understanding each other and their feelings and then reminiscing on their wonderful memories together. I can’t help but think if my partner really wanted it to get better for our relationship, then she would try to implement an actual action plan for her best friend to become more comfortable around me. Her best friend always mentions how she understands it’s her own mindset that’s causing her to react so intensely to my presence, and that she’ll “work on it” but this has been a recurrence for 4 months and I’m not understanding why my partner continues to believe her. After my partner thought everything was okay, she invited me to a queer club night with her best friend and some other friends. I was hesitant but tried to trust my partner on it. As I expected though, her best friend didn’t react well. She immediately said she wanted to go home, was convinced to stay for a bit longer, then avoided me and my partner the entire night. Later in the week, my partner and some of her friends wanted me to go to their friend gathering (fyi I get along perfectly fine with my partners other friends). My partner ended up saying she didn’t think it was a good idea because ever since their conversation, when I was brought up her best friends face would drop and she would go silent. Nothings changed.
This has been weighing heavily on me recently because I want a future with my partner, not necessarily getting married or any of that, but through the summer and into the next school year. That’ll be hell for as long as her roommate/best friend has the same feelings. For as long as my partner can’t lose her best friend, I feel that it’s so obvious that she’d choose her over me, because at this point it is indeed a choosing game. Her best friend has made no progress and I can’t keep expecting the present to be so fun and exciting with my partner for as long as this will become a problem again during the school year.
I have reason to believe that firstly, if my partner were a man, and these feelings of jealousy and distaste towards me were as apparent from her best friend as they are now, everyone would take this more seriously, including my partner. I feel as though because it is a lesbian relationship, the best friend or even my partner don’t think it’s as urgent as it should be. As well, I completely understand where her best friend is coming from. She feels as though she lost her best friend to a relationship (although we’ve tried numerous times to include her and spend time with her), she feels fomo, and she’s explicitly told my partner that I “bring out all her worst insecurities”. I’ve proposed the idea of them being in love with each other because genuinely, and I feel like I have no option but to question that but my partner has shut it down every time. But I don’t think understanding her can excuse all she’s done to our relationship. It makes me resent my partner for not doing enough even though I know she’s trying her best and also is exhausted. We don’t want to lose each other but I feel like I’m slipping every day that I’m not around her and I can’t pretend things are the way they used to be.
I know that my partner and I are bigger than the situation, but I don’t know if it’s sustainable. What happens when we go back to school and I have to avoid her roommate for the entire school year, and even then, completely because she’s integrated into her social groups back home? I’ll never be able to hang out with my partners friends because her best friend will always be there. Having this control over our relationship because my partner cares about her best friend feels so tiring to me. But I want to stay with my partner so bad but I know I don’t deserve this and leaving will allow me to find someone that truly embraces me and will choose me. Feeling like the second option constantly makes me feel as though she only wants me around because we’re attached to each other and I bring new emotional experiences for her. Is it self sabotage for me to say that breaking it off is for the sake of my future self? To save myself from falling deeper in love this summer just for it to be shattered when school starts? I don’t know how to go about this.
Because of these recent events, whenI’m not around her for a couple days, I’ll doubt a lot of what we are and feel distant. I have to look at photos of her to remind myself that I love her or to just feel something. I can’t help but text her drier than normal and just feel more disconnected. Things felt amazing for a while, but now I just feel sad when I think of her. Thinking of our relationship just makes me sad now. It used to make me so happy. I think my partner also values me very much, some of it being in the way that I provide her emotional support in a way she never received growing up. She's fighting for this and I can recognize it but I know it's tiring her as much as it is for me. I want to fight for this, but is it worth the pain that'll come for as long as her best friend remains the same? Constantly being put second to avoid putting her in discomfort? I've truly never felt this way about someone and I want to cherish it and live in the moment so bad.
If you’ve read everything, thank you. Please give me some advice. I don’t want to leave but I feel like I know what’s best for me. My friends say that love isn’t easy, and that you need to fight for it to truly show that you care. But I do care, I just don’t want to fight against something so relentless and out of my control.
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2023.06.02 06:55 codeinfinity959 Russia's Rupee Trap Is Adding To$ 147 Billion Hoard Stuck Abroad
A crooked trade relationship with India is forcing Russia to accumulate up to$ 1 billion each month in rupee means that remain stranded outside the country, swelling the cache of capital it's amassed abroad since the irruption of Ukraine. Russia has surfaced as a top supplier of oil painting to India over the once time, settling a lesser share of trade in public currencies and turning shipments east as traditional guests in Europe escaped purchases after the war began over a time ago. But with significances from India stagnating, Russia is ending up with an excess of rupees, which its companies have trouble repatriating because of original currency restrictions. impasse over a result has left Russia awaiting the fat to rise further, according to people familiar with the accommodations. Any quarter, the imbalance will probably induce the fellow of$ 2 billion to$ 3 billion that Russia can not use, according to Bloomberg Economics. The quantum would add to an estimated$ 147 billion in net foreign means erected up abroad over the course of 2022. r70oldpk " The reason is a sharp boost in the volume of oil painting inventories from Russia," said Irina Zasedatel, a member of the presidium of Russia's Association of Exporters and Importers." Against the background of an increase in the growth of oil painting deals, there is little sign of expansion in the force of other goods." An impasse at the negotiating table between India and Russia is complicating their booming one- way trade. In the first quarter, India had a trade deficiency$14.7 billion with Russia. A top precedence for India is to promote the wider use of the rupee in transnational agreements. The central bank has suggested that countries accumulating redundant rupees from exports can put the finances in original securities including government bonds. The two countries are agitating colorful payment mechanisms including investments in India's capital requests by Russian realities. It's an option that originally did not find favor with Moscow but is now back on the table as billions of rupees pile up in Indian banks, officers in India familiar with the details said, asking not to be named because conversations were private. Other possibilities include channelizing the accumulated rupees into Indian structure systems in exchange for equity stakes. For Russia, the only respectable option is to use currencies of a third country, similar as China's yuan or the United Arab Emirates dirham, said people familiar with the reflections. An agreement is far out since Russia has limited sway in a situation with many indispensable buyers to India, they said, asking for obscurity to describe the private addresses. Russia's government and its central bank did not respond to requests for comment, and neither did India's Ministry of External Affairs. What Bloomberg Economics Says. " Russia's trade with India is decreasingly imbalanced. India's exports to Russia have not caught up with booming significances, but there is a limited appetite in Russia to save its current- account fat in rupees. That said, there are no indispensable oil painting importers of India's quality on the horizon for Russia, so exporters and banks will gradationally accept agreement in rupees. This will allow Russia to keep its oil painting flowing, but will make hard currency more scarce, weaken the ruble and push affectation advanced." — Alexander Isakov, Russia economist. Though changes in how the government in Moscow levies oil painting companies have succeeded in stabilizing public finances after a record swell in spending, the incapability to recoup earnings deprives Russia of hard currency at a time when its exporters formerly face longer stay times for payments because numerous domestic banks have lost access to their pressman
accounts in the west. In the months following the irruption, homes and companies have also been moving billions of bones
in finances to banks abroad. And with some foreign profit now trapped overseas, pressure on the ruble may grow worse since smaller import proceeds will be converted into the Russian currency. 9us3tsqg The screwing of commerce leaves many good options for the Kremlin and underscores how little logrolling power it has in a redrawn global oil painting request that is seen Asian bootstrappers India and China lade up cheaper Russian oil painting. It also shows why a shift down from the currencies of Russia's adversaries remains fraught with pitfalls.
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