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This is a long overdue post. I'm often on mobile but now that I'm sitting down at the keyboard, I wanted to put a few thoughts together for my ENTJ companions.
I see a LOT of posts on this sub that are disappointing. Many posts cover the best qualities of ENTJs in the worst possible framing. Some examples: - "How to gain power, how to gain success, how to gain prestige..." - "Others around me are put off by my ambition" - "Why won't others just...XYZ"
The content of many posts on this sub, but a fair number of comments as well, play into the worst ego-centric tendencies of ENTJs. And I can say this as someone who was there in my younger years... currently a recovering ego-centrist.
I would like to encourage all of us to approach conversations around our personality type starting from places of empathy, of others-centeredness, of humility. We should be encouraging each other to GROW in the ways that are least natural to us, not necessarily always just reinforcing the same strengths we have over and over again at the expense of others or other lesser developed parts of ourselves.
Vulnerability, patience, slowing down sometimes, and (dare I say) inefficiency for the sake of being in the moment are things to celebrate and help each other figure out as a group. Let's not fall into the trap of creating an echo chamber that reinforces some of our most dangerous tendencies without the balance of building up those things where we might naturally be less inclined.
For the younger ENTJs reading this, maybe coming to this sub for the first time, it is not you that is always right and the world that is always wrong. Others' personalities and worldviews are just as relevant as yours, even if you see them as asinine. The most dangerous thing you can do as an ENTJ is fall into this trap. It will only push others away from you.
Focus on growing yourselves in the things that are hard. It's just as important as focusing on the things we are good at.
Take care all. Peace and love.

Sveltekit is a womderful framework, ever since I have learnt it and did couple of projects in it. I couldn't go back to my older mental model. How ever what I miss is batteries included nature of Django and I recently happened to work woth Ruby-on-Rails for one project and was amazed by its boiler plate generation capabilites form cli. While sveltekit is rapidly getting matured and ecosystem of great libraries with likes of auth.js and lucia-auth for authentication are coming up, one craves a more opinionated structure for following things. 1. Cli for route generation that generated Boilerplate route based on params name and types. e.g. api route type generates only server.ts , page route create page.svelte and page.ts and put Boilerplate for load and stuff, page with server form type route creates form and associated form action Boilerplate. 2. Sessions framework. With ability to have jwt-sessions, cookie only sessions, db backed sessions with cookie having session id, redis backed sessions, phantom token style sessions. Along with session based access management like allowing only one or x number of concurrent logins and logging out oldest sessions or mechanism to revoke all session on actions like password change or device lost. 3. Authentication on top of these sessions that support configurable passwordless auth, social auth, multifactor auth etc. 4. Authorization with permissions framework backed by session as well as ability to have access control for hierarchical groups of user. Group memberships etc. 5. Opinionated database orm (choose something like kysely or Drizzle so as to keep serverless compabitility) 6. Ratelimiting strategies on routes 7. Caching framework backed by in-memory/redis/sqlite based caches. 8. Opinionated forms with ability to activate protections like CSRF and Captcha. 9. Mailers implementstions (Actually should be a notification service implementation which not only allows creating mails but also configuring push notification and sms type of stuff) 10. Scheduled and Background task queues backed by redis/nats/kafaka etc. 11. Admin panel. (Baby between Django admin and laravel nova) Once all this is available then I don't think anyone will want to use Django, Rails, Pheonix etc. I think an attempt with sailsjs is there for js based mvc... but nothing comes close to beautiful mental model of Sveltekit..... thus one desires such meta framework around it.

i read something recently that stuck with me
UPS profits (after expenditures) is like 1.2 million dollars an hour
thats like (xxx$ per minute / second)
i am humbly asking if someone can break that down further for this last year / quater?
also read.. we are only 230,000 employees ?!
is that it ?!
we know from the teamster meme that Marissa Tome made 19,000,000$ in 2022 from being our leader.
My Goal: is to have a concrete monetary value on EVERY MINUTE (SECOND) that Marissa / shareholders make off of our hard labor and use those numbers to make a solid meme (get out the vote!) idea for the vast majority of us that are living hour to hour
to me, we are one of the last beacons of the working class
please... if you know how:
break down the share holders/management/ceo
in terms of hourly profits
so that we can accurately portray and hopefully mobilize all of those unintersted in how this works
(thanks for reading.. im a 22.4 recently pushed inside and for what its worth... package handling is more difficult than delivering a blown out truck for 12+ hours)
((and i know its Carol, but the only edge i have is calling her the wrong name))

Hello i am F19 and my friend who I will call Ally F17. On my birthday we decided to go to a water park and everything was going great. Ally eventually pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go on a water slide with her and I agreed. We walked up the stairs to the water slide and people were in front of us and behind us Ally asked if I could move because she wanted to lean against the railing I said that I would move if I could but there were too many people around us. She rolled her eyes at my comment and started pushing me so she could lean on the rail. But we were so close to the water slide that we were at the part where there is a gap between the steps and the flat ground floor ( we were 30 feet in the air.) I asked her to stop but she didn’t and continued . I slipped through the gap and fell to the ground I passed out due to a concussion but I was told by all of my friends and family (not Ally) that I had been pushed off and Ally was balling her eyes out. My mom rode in the ambulance with me while my dad asked if they could look at the security cameras (because my brother used to work at the water park and would tell him about the accidents that would happen some days.) But my dad watched the footage and couldn’t believe it and he called Ally’s parents to come and see what happened when my dad explained what happened they were flabbergasted and didn’t believe him and they rushed to the water park to watch the video and they were flabbergasted But they did yell at her and said that she would have to apologize to me. My dad met up with my mom at the hospital and the doctor said that I had a fractured spine a few of the bones in my neck were broken and my head had busted open which was stabled back together and I had a concussion but because of the fractured spine I lost the ability to walk I became paralyzed from my upper thighs down which my doctor told me that I might not be able to walk again because of the accident. It has been almost a year and I had pressed charges against her as soon as I could and we are going to court soon but since then I have been avoiding her but her friends that I don’t know are sending me death threats and telling me to go and off myself. And I don’t know what to do but I do know that she gave her friends my phone number and told them to do that and the only reason I know is because a friend that me and Ally both know went behind her back to tell me. So far all of my friends are on my side. But recently I’ve been getting messages from Ally and she is saying she is sorry and that she understands if I won’t be friends with her anymore but that no matter what I should drop the charges against her and I don’t know what to do because I’m only charging/suing her for less than half of my hospital bill. I did a get a protection order against her. I will try and keep you guys updated. What do you guys think AITA or is Ally?

My ex broke up with me, Its been 6 months nc (ghosted me on newyears). I tried to contact her 2 months into nc, but i got no reply & i had just started to forget about her the following months. Recently, shes been watching all of my stories.. i was pirvate and i went public she just started mirroring my every move doing the exact same thing. I was just posting myself hiking & overall just having fun since its been nice out and she started posting also but she keeps up with all my stories and we dont follow eachother prior she blocked me on everything… but its bothering me i dont want her anymore idk why shes copying me (im not opening any of her stories because i dont care) and she also called my number to get my attention but i did not answer. Why is this person so mad at me for moving on after she was the one to leave me. Shes very toxic. Anyways what does this mean what is she trying to do?? Its bothering me

Hello again. So you seem to think that you didn't do me any wrong. You laughed at the idea that you treated me shitty in the relationship. Well I'm bitter now and if I ever get the chance to throw it back at you, that would give you more ammunition to use against me. So here's this letter.
You didn't tell me when you had problems with me. You didn't tell me about the pregnancy scare soon enough. You didn't defend me to all your friends and family who said they hated me. You always spent my birthday with your friends. You neglected to take the time off for our vacation together and tried to apologize for it just so that I couldn't be upset about it, but I knew you should've known better and that you wanted to get out of it. You told me that I'd never overcome my addiction. You always held me to impossible standards, doing what you said or wanted always led to more criticism. You always hung out with your exes. You made me look stupid. You hated being seen with me in public. You snubbed me when I saw you at the movie theater. You lied about the movies. You told me all my friends were shitty people and tried to isolate me, even the ones you didn't know. You talked about other people and got upset when I was upset until I apologized. You told me that men shouldn't have self respect. You told me that women can't have narcissism and that guys who say that just hate women with confidence. You posted shit about every single argument we got into. You emotionally cheated with your best friend several times. You lied to me and gaslit me. You didn't invite me to the trip that you even invited my friends to. You thought I was evil and stupid. You ignored my boundaries. You deprived me of attention to try to punish me. You didn't let me help you. You resented listening to my problems. You used sex as a bartering chip. You almost broke up with me over the phone, breaking your promise to never do that. You shared intimate details after our breakup. You continue to post about me still. Maybe this'll give you some perspective. This is only the parts that I can think of right now and that I know about to begin with. If you're not a complete irredeemable piece of garbage then you'll see now how awful you were and can feel bad about more things. You made me so anxious and I know there's so much more than I know about with all your friends and family and shit, drama behind the scenes. The way I was treated sucks fat donkey balls. If justice exists then you won't be able to go around pretending I'm an abusive narcissist for any longer.

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Hi All, I have been working in the middle office role in investment banking for about 4 years now. Its basically what the front office does minus the client exposure. The way this role works is you do your job in the mid office for the first year or two and then you are sent on “rotation” for a couple of months to the front office. If they have an opening they offer you a role or you come back. For me the rotation got delayed as the pandemic hit and I finally got to go this March and came back on May. Considering the recession in UK they don’t have any openings right now and unlikely to have one this year. As some of you may know the IB hours are gruelling and would run upto 100+ hours a week. But now that I have had the experience they expect me to deliver the same hours even from the middle office. They even made me sign a bond that keeps me in the company for 6 months, if I leave I have to pay them 10k pounds. My question is how do I keep myself motivated to work when I know there are no prospects of converting front end? Till now I was pushing myself so that I get offered a rotation and then move to the front office. It’s becoming very difficult to convince myself to keep performing at my job when I know all the money is being made at the front office and we are being paid peanuts in comparison. 6 months is a long time and on top of that we have a 2 months notice period so actually its 8 months.
Sorry for the long post and thanks a ton in advance for any suggestions.

This is going to be somewhat of a long post, but bare with me. I just made a reddit account for THIS reason because I really need to get this off my chest.
I live with a 34 year old brother who is completely selfish. Ever since the passing of my late-brother (oldest one past away when he was 31), I have been taking responsibility roles after him for my parents (I am the youngest child and only daughter). Being a full-time STEM student and unemployed, I have time to accommodate my parents needs to get tasks done: everything from running errands, to the bank, making sure rent and utilities are due on time, groceries, scheduling doctor's appointments for my father, and picking up prescriptions. Life has been a train-wreck for me since 2018. My parents are immigrants with little to no English and helpless in navigating modernized, western culture. Since my oldest brother is gone, I have to take on the unspoken position to make sure everything is okay for my parents.
Second brother, he is the most selfish person I have ever encountered; definitely self-righteous and paints a picture for everyone to see that he is this humanitarian or philanthrope in person, but behind closed doors he emotionally and physically abuses my parents. Everyone who meets him, loves him, but I know his true colors.
My dad had fallen ill of last year, and I was his caregiver for some time while juggling with challenging STEM classes at my community college. It wasn't easy taking care of my father due to his condition without the help of my second older brother. (He help sometimes to take him to dialysis), but when it came to the important stuff, it was expected of me. I have cried, had mental breakdowns, and often thought about suicide because of the pressure I was being put in.
My father's retirement funds kick in every month (about $1k a month). When my dad was bed-ridden last summer, and I was too busy with college, my dad asked my second older brother to withdrawal money from my dad's account for bills, giving him access to the PIN number. Ever since then, my brother kept my father's debit card and had pocketed $300 every month without my dad's knowledge or consent. Found out, that was $3600 my brother stole from our sick, disabled father. He did this for a year. My second older brother does not pitch anything for rent even though he works full-time, taking about $4000 a month with a bonus from his VA benefits.
He cranks up the air conditioning unit really low during the summer, so my mother has to pay $200 or so during the time. He asks my mom for money so he can go to the local laundromat (how does he not have at least $20 to spare for clothes to be washed and dried as an employed man??), and he is always asking money from my uncle and aunt. All he cares about is money and cares little about helping the family. He even skipped my oldest brother's funeral because he was too "afraid" to see his brother lying in the casket (I was the only one organizing my oldest brother's funeral, by the way; that week was emotionally and mentally exhausting).
My brother has physically pushed my dad out of his bed one time during a family argument, poured cold water over my mom's head, whipped her with a belt, and when he is really angry, he brings out his guns and creates this threatening aura in the room, showing everybody how "powerful" he is with guns (he was in the army and is a huge gun collector).
A part of me fears for my parents livelihood with him here, leeching off mom and dad; disrespecting them even though they let him do anything. Both of my parents are too scared to confront him because he gets violent with the potential threat that he can pull a gun out on them. I have confronted him a few times, but it ends up pretty disordered and horrific (my head bumped pretty badly against the window one time, because we were in a car, and I was arguing with him, so he decided to drive violently on the highway).
Part of me wished that he was gone instead of my oldest brother; my oldest brother was the opposite of him despite his autism and social dilemmas. He was empathetic and cared for the family.
My brother, I feel like he is the bane of my parent's existence and will bleed my parents out to dry when it comes to finances. He refuses to move out because he wants to leech off of my parents, so that he can freely uses his paycheck however he wishes to.
Is there anything I can do? He is my blood brother and a part of me cares for him, still, but I honestly wish he was gone sometimes. This seems like a fatalistic thing to say, but things would be peaceful around the house if he was not around. I am too stressed about family life, my dad's illness, STEM degree that I am working on, and our financial issue to be dealing with my brother's rampage.
Any advice?

Hi All, I have been working in the middle office role in investment banking for about 4 years now. Its basically what the front office does minus the client exposure. The way this role works is you do your job in the mid office for the first year or two and then you are sent on “rotation” for a couple of months to the front office. If they have an opening they offer you a role or you come back. For me the rotation got delayed as the pandemic hit and I finally got to go this March and came back on May. Considering the recession in UK they don’t have any openings right now and unlikely to have one this year. As some of you may know the IB hours are gruelling and would run upto 100+ hours a week. But now that I have had the experience they expect me to deliver the same hours even from the middle office. They even made me sign a bond that keeps me in the company for 6 months, if I leave I have to pay them 10k pounds. My question is how do I keep myself motivated to work when I know there are no prospects of converting front end? Till now I was pushing myself so that I get offered a rotation and then move to the front office. It’s becoming very difficult to convince myself to keep performing at my job when I know all the money is being made at the front office and we are being paid peanuts in comparison. 6 months is a long time and on top of that we have a 2 months notice period so actually its 8 months.
Sorry for the long post and thanks a ton in advance for any suggestions.

Hi All, I have been working in the middle office role in investment banking for about 4 years now. Its basically what the front office does minus the client exposure. The way this role works is you do your job in the mid office for the first year or two and then you are sent on “rotation” for a couple of months to the front office. If they have an opening they offer you a role or you come back. For me the rotation got delayed as the pandemic hit and I finally got to go this March and came back on May. Considering the recession in UK they don’t have any openings right now and unlikely to have one this year. As some of you may know the IB hours are gruelling and would run upto 100+ hours a week. But now that I have had the experience they expect me to deliver the same hours even from the middle office. They even made me sign a bond that keeps me in the company for 6 months, if I leave I have to pay them 10k pounds. My question is how do I keep myself motivated to work when I know there are no prospects of converting front end? Till now I was pushing myself so that I get offered a rotation and then move to the front office. It’s becoming very difficult to convince myself to keep performing at my job when I know all the money is being made at the front office and we are being paid peanuts in comparison. 6 months is a long time and on top of that we have a 2 months notice period so actually its 8 months.
Sorry for the long post and thanks a ton in advance for any suggestions.

Hey everyone! I know this topic has been covered a bit before, but I haven’t seen anything very recent and wanted to get some thoughts. I am looking for a new messaging app for my friend group.
Amount of users isn’t an issue because we’d all be moving there but ideally we want something stable. We tried Element (Matrix client) but found it had far too many issues and bugs to be usable. I’ve done quite a bit of research but nothing has really stood out to me.
I was thinking about Signal but the phone number thing has kind of put me off. I have heard Session isn’t great because it lacks PFS. Threema has had many issues and wire is corporate-focused. I worry that simpleX may be too new and unpolished for my group of non-techies. Some of us have iPhones so Briar is out.
I’d appreciate any suggestions or thoughts you all have about this! P.S. Self hosting is not an option, I just don’t have the time or energy to deal with that. Thank you all!

My number #1 solution: Put your wet wig on a mannequin to dry it out. After it has stopped dripping water, apply a good heat protection spray on the hair, and then use a hair dryer on low power to dry the wig completely.
Why? Though human hair wigs can withstand very low heat from a hairdryer, it is essential that the wig is mostly dried first to reduce exposure to any heat. If you have a human hair wig and you are in a rush to dry it, you can let it air dry until it is half dry at least before using a hairdryer on a cool or low heat air setting.
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My sister's co-worker was terminated for stealing stuff. As an act of vengeance, the same co-worker talked to the HR head and revealed all the secrets she knew about her co-workers to bring everyone down with her. Ultimately, my sister was suspended (and will most likely be terminated) after the thief revealed that she circumvented the system to obtain a document she needed to go abroad. I don't condone my sister's action, but a few days later, news began to circulate that the company has job vacancies because some employees were caught stealing. Turns out that someone is spreading the news that my sister was caught stealing. Again, only one was let go for stealing, but because my sister was coincidentally suspended soon after that incident, it appears that her case is related to the former. Someone sent my sister a screenshot of conversation over at Facebook Messenger showing a company employee inviting someone to apply because there are job openings, and when he's asked why, he replied that a number of employees (everybody knows in their circle that my sister is one of them) were let go because "nagnakaw ng pera."
Here are my questions:

1. I have a suspicion that my sister's co-worker is the one spreading the news out of retaliation, but we can't prove it yet. I asked her to ask her circle to give her evidence/screenshots that will point to the principal author of this malicious lie. I volunteered to give a cash reward for whoever can send a screenshot that will prove who is spreading this information. Is this legal?
2. The one who said "nagnakaw ng pera" is outside of their department but he's audacious enough to tell his contacts that all employees who were recently let go because "nagnakaw ng pera." Wala man lang "daw" to prove that he heard it somewhere else. He's spreading it as if it's an established fact already. How culpable is he?

Thank you to whoever will give me a piece of advice.

so ive been with this girl for a while like half a year shes literally the girl of my dreams and im so happy were together. then recently in my country, Across the Spiderverse was announced to be showing really soon. my gf loves marvel. i dont really like superheroes but spiderman has always been special to me. She asked if we could watch it together in the cinema and of course i said yes but unfortunately she actually went to japan with her family a few weeks ago and by the time she came back it wasnt showing in the cinemas anymore so she said i could just download it on my laptop and we watch it together. the problem is, while my gf was at japan, my mom wanted to watch it in the cinema too. i love my mom so much and i remember the time me and her binge watched every other spiderman movie together when No Way Home came out. i actually explained the movies in detail so she would understand whats going on. i value the time i spent with my mom so mucb so i couldnt say no when she asked me to watch Across the Spiderverse with her. (10/10 movie btw) now, my gf came back already and we watched together, i pretended like i havent seen it before and acted surprised at most parts of the movie. she told me she was really happy that i waited for her before i could watch it. she doesnt know i lied to her. i dont know if it was a good thing i kinda feel bad for doing it though. did i do the right thing?

This is going to be a long rant sorry. I'll put the tl;dr here at the start. Spent years complaining to different doctors about symptoms, got consistently different answers. Had a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks ago. 5 days ago rushed to the ER with debilitating cramps and sudden severe bleeding. Roughly 8 hours later was told I lost the baby due to being rh - and oh, I have pcos. In addition to all of that, I feel like no one is helping or educating me on what is wrong with me.
Long version:
Heavy periods were normal in my family. Most of my periods since late teenage years had been heavy and lasted long. I'd been to doctors and was told as long as they came around the same day and lasted about the same time, it was still normal. I rarely have cramps during my periods, and aside from occasionally having extremely heavy flow days or maybe a slightly longer bleeding cycle, it didn't bother me much.
At 19 I had a chemical pregnancy. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I went apple picking in the hills; this was a big deal because it was our first "trip", almost 2 hours from our home town. I had missed my period but only by maybe five days and was excited that our sort of big date wouldn't be ruined by aunt flow. Half way there she showed up anyways... or at least I thought that what was happening. I had mild cramps which was strange but the bleeding didn't stop. I was going through a super tampon and pad roughly every half hour. We made it to the hills, and within 20 mins left. I was too embarrassed to tell him why I needed to go home and blamed it on feeling incredibly sick. What really happened was I had sneezed, and even though it had been maybe 15 mins since I had switch my tampon and pad it gushed so badly that I bleed through my jeans.
I went to the doctor the next day. Found out it was a chemical pregnancy. They did all the "regular tests" to see if there was anything else wrong. Everything came back negative. I was given meds and told to let nature take its course.
Around 22 I started battling my weight. I am 5 foot 1. My healthly weoght is between 115 and 125 lbs. I always did sports so I spent most of my teen years around 130/135, majority ot being muscle weight from the years of softball, swim team, and polo.
My eating habits hadn't changed. But I suddenly kept gaining weight and couldn't lose it. I though maybe it was because I no longer did Phys Ed classes and stopped doing sports. I didn't think I'd hit 165 in just a few months, but assumed it was my fault. I dieted like crazy, started hiking 2 hrs a day, and was able to lose most of the weight and sit comfortably around 145. I never got back to my ideal/healthy weight though. I brought this up to doctors and was told it was my metabolism aging. It was normal. It happened. I just had to adjust my lifestyle and make the best of it.
Shortly after, mostly because I kept demanding answers, I went to an OB who told me I had fibroids. It felt good to get an answer after years of frustration. I tried different birth controls, which helped but also caused other unwanted side effects. More weight gain. Mood swings. Decreased sex drive. Depression. Nothing seemed to be worth it. So I stopped and focused on living as health as I could. Not dieting but chosing better options and eating less. Starting jujitsu. Keeping up with hiking. Things seemed to be balancing out.
At 23 I was in a bad car crash. I was tboned on my driver's side by someone who was trying to turn left into a gas station, going 45 mph. After a couple of days at the hospital, frontal lobe damage, cracked skull,, broken bones, and other minor exteral damage, I fell into a terrible depression. My wrist was shattered so badly that I was in a cast for 9 months. I couldn't exercise. I was always in pain. And almost overnight I went from a healthy-ish (not what I should be at but what I was comfortable at) 145lbs to 165 lbs. Not actually over night but in about a month and a half. I was barely eating because the meds I was on made me so nauseous and completely zoned out. I was stuck inside due to the concussion I had and I was stuck in bed due to other injuries. The bleeding got worse. But I was told it was just the fibroids flaring up.
My periods got worse. They started lasting longer. They were more frequent. I would get one week off and then three or four weeks of bleeding. One time it was a solid 3 months of almost non stop bleeding. I did blood work. Pelvic exams. Went to the OB, my primary care doctor. Moved to a new state. Got a new OB.
At this point my weight gain had gotten even worse. I somehow would drop 10 lbs and gain 10 lbs and then drop 5 and gain 15 over the course of a month. My once thick hair had gotten so thin. It was falling out in clumps. I had bald spots. It was snapping off in places. I did hair masks, oils, viviscal pills. Nothing seemed to help. My depression and anxiety was also getting worse, but after taking pills to feel numb I tried to focus more on natural fixes. Sam-E, holistic supplements, healthy eating.
I told this to my new OB. They did thyroid tests. Diabetes tests. Cancer tests.
And the answer was always, well it's more common than you think to flux in weight. Your blood work looks fine. Sometimes women get heavy periods due to stress. Hair loss is natural with age. Maybe you should change your diet. Work out more.
It was exhausting.
Fast forward to 2023. I got married after 10 years of being with my now husband. We were finally ready to start a family and trying for kids. My OB gave me the all clear, said we shouldn't have anything to worry about. My fibroids hadn't been flaring up. My periods were fairly regular. My dedication to getting healthy was paying off. As strenuous as it was, it was getting results.
I worked hard, lost about 25lbs and got down to 170 last year.
Things were getting better, I was working my ass off. After 5 years I found the strength to join jits again. Even though I had pain and had to be careful with my.old injuries I worked hard to keep up.
Life was getting better.
I've always wanted to be a mom. Since I was little.
When I got that positive test after 5 months of trying it was the happiest day of my life. It had been about 7 weeks from my last period. I had had some light cramping. A day of pink spotting. I could smell things like a blood hound.
The soonest appointment we could get with my OB was a week after the positive test, but I didn't care. I was so happy.
I had adjusted my diet. Fought my sugar cravings and ate only completely natural sugars like fruit. I focused on nutritional food. I did light exercise. I took prenatal, and stopped drinking caffeine. I tried to do everything right.
At the OB the ultrasound didn't look great. They couldn't see much, but confirmed the thick wall was there, and it looked healthy. My blood test came back with healthy levels of p and hcg.
Friday the cramps started. Saturday the spotting started. The cramps got worse. Sunday was the worst day of my life bare none. The cramps pain was unbearable. The bleeding was mind blowing. I was going through 4 super plus tampons in an hour. The pads were the only thing keeping me from bleeding through my clothes every 15 mins.
We spend from about 1:30pm til about 9pm in the ER. I knew at this point what the news was going to be. Blood work was first. It confirmed almost nonexistent levels of HCG. I was told i was rh negative and my body rejected the baby, but i couldnt leave yet. Pelvic exam was next. They couldn't give me any answers on why they were keeping me or what else was wrong. After the ultrasound we waited about 3 hours for results. I was told I couldn't leave because they were concerned I might have twisted an ovary and needed surgery.
The news I got back was a million times worse. Both ovaries were covered in a large amount of tiny cysts. I was told I have pcos. Well they were almost certain it was pcos.
I asked questions buy got very few and vague answers. I was told to go to my OB appointment that I had already scheduled for my 7 week pregnancy follow up. I would learn more there.
I went to my appointment yesterday. Again got very few answers.
I was told more tests needed to be run, and it was hard to do while I was in the process of having a miscarriage. It was probably pcos. I would need to come back in 3 weeks, when I should be ovulating again. I could find out more then.
I feel so lost. I did my own research and finally things started to make sense.
The symptoms were lining up. Things I never even considered being related to each other.
The obvious ones were irregular periods, thinning hair, difficulty losing weight.
However it was the smaller symptoms that made it all click. My sleep habits had gotten very poor. I had trouble falling and staying asleep. I had darkening skin in my elbows, knees, armpits, private areas. Headaches which seemed to get worse around my ovulation time. Unexplained fatigue.
I feel so hopeless. I feel like no one is helping me. No one is guiding me on how to treat this. Or what to do. My concerns were being brushed off by medical professionals. Most of the information I have I found myself after my ER visit. I feel alone, and defeated, and just tired. I've been unable to muster any energy to do much other than get up, go to work, eat a little, and sit/lay in bed. I know it has a lot to do with the miscarriage, which has been hard, but I feel like the pcos diagnosis has just crimpled me mentally to a point where I don't even know how to function anymore.
Thanks for letting me rant. It feels better being able to put into words these feelings. I'm trying to stay strong and not show this side to my husband. He took the news just as hard, if not worse, than I did.
For those who made it this far, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Where do I go from here....

For some context my mom and stepfather are split but not devoted appartly they both agree not to. My dad and step mom are also having truboes but mainly with money and their relationship and rn me trying to take up a job and also figuring out what my summer jobs are gonna be(I also work at Kroger and they want me to still be working their I have alot of outstanding thanks from their)
So I haven't posted in a while mainly my last post which was my first was very depressing which I still have depression and still feel sad about stuff and more sad about this stuff to but before it was talking about a guy my mom was dating she moved on from him after he went back to jail for some warrents but we picked him up from jail and she was supposed to start letting him live with her but told him he couldn't and he said that was fine he when to live with his friends I have no clue what his life is rn honestly don't care at all.
My mom has been not good lately mainly because she is in a predicament of soen sort tbh I done car anymore I just wns to leave when I turn 18 from all the bull shit in my family and just not talk to anyone she was dating a guy that tried to kill her then stoped and now she was dating my cousins ex husband but now not and turns out he was sleeping with my mom and her at the same time so tbh that's a problem and turns out my brother might have told my cousin that my mom and my cousins ex husband was sleeping int he other room for my brother but in all reality turns out that he walked into the hosue and they were screwing or something at the time I didn't realize what he was texting about but now I'm kinda worried my brothers scared and trying to reach a him to alj to him about it he is only 14 so I'm worried but still rn I'm kinda pissed at my mom my cousin and he ex husband and just all of the above people in this paragraph so yeah.
My stepfather I haven't seen in a while mainly just school my bio dads house since I'm gonna live their soon start figuring what I'ma need to do when i live their and stuff like that but I've been going to my step father's house here and their gonna be going their this weekend to after school ends I got a chem exam today when school starts and I can't sleep reason I'm making this post but basically I'm trying to maintain a relationship with him too along with all my parents and siblings too.
My bio dad is kinda not in a good mental place from what my step mom says talking about depression anxiety and possibly mpdwhich I'm not fond of because nobody in my family knows this but my cousin has it too and I'm the only only family member that knows this so it's kinda stressful tbh but my dad and I are gonna be building a old Kawasaki Vulcan 800 up for me when I get my driver's licence and then my motorcycle endorsement im M16 so I still have to have my driver's license to get a motor endorcmen so it's annoying but still me and him have plans to build that upa and also try to get a care for me.
My stepmom is well not what you think a regular step mom is tbh she gets annoying sometimes talking about my dad but I let her talk about it mainly because she needs to relaxe as all my parents do so I just let her talk and talk on the way home from my mom's house to hr and my dad's house when she picks me up after work on the weekends.
My cousin is a sweet cousin but we have grow distant like all my cousins have done with me she has mpd and it annoys me because one of her personalitys are dating a m22 which scares me I don't wns my cousin and her personalitys sending explicit photos to him or anything so I'm worried but I'm still trying to help her.
My brothers are nice I'm not gonna go into each one of them just my parents but I got one brother full brother halfe that's my step dad's and then three other half's that are my step mom's I love them all but it's annoying sometimes.
And in the end I don't even feel bad about all of this it's just something I'm writing about my feelings are none existent anymore so yeah.

I feel some guilt having done this, but I know a few friends in the same boat - and the government encourages the behaviour (that I'm about to describe below.
The key point is that the PPOR is exempt from the pension assessment.
My parents reached retirement age some years ago. In the lead up to that I began helping them prepare financially.
At the time they owned 3 properties including a PPOR (all in the outer suburbs). Total worth of just over 1.5million. My father stopped working before retirement and my mother was keen to be done by 67. We came to Australia in 1992, and my parents worked working class jobs all their lives. Father with an airline/mother in various government clerk roles.
One of the homes they purchases for 70k in 93, my childhood home. And it sold for around 850k
I helped them sell all their properties and convert to cash. And then helped them buy a beautiful place in the inner city (close to all awesome services - and better hospitals/transport - mum managed to sell her car), with the proceeds/super (and some 150k extra loan from me). The best part is I now have a place to stay when i visit the city. And mum could get rid of her own car and expenses associated. (only 1 car now)
As they no longer had any investments they became eligible for the pension.
They collect about $1500 a fortnight (and I pay their bills and rates - not difficult at all) from Uncle Australia. And when they want to do something fun/travel I give them some cash. My father used to work for an airline - so he gets subject to load/20% roughly flight costs anyway.
We're all close (ethnic family only child) so there's no need for any paperwork/legal stuff (I know that's not going to sit right with people here - but that's just an ethnic thing - I have literally no fear they'll hurt me).
In all I contribute about 10-12k per annum for their expenses/misc. And they get roughly 40k from the pension.
The property is worth around 3 million today - capital untaxed appreciation of 1.5million in about 3-4 years. And there's no loan. I stand to inherit all of this.
Yet the government still chips us up 40k a year.
I feel guilty that I've orchestrated this all. But my parents are so happy with their new life. And I stand to gain a sizeable untaxed inheritance.
And of course I wish my parents to be with me forever. Yet with average life expectancies of 85 or so. That's about 200k I'll have contributed to their expenses (including their private health cover - top tier). And the government would have contributed about 800k in pension. Who knows what the place will be worth when they're 85-90.
I pay about 50k a year in tax, from my own income. If they didn't get the pension, I'd have to cover my parents the 40k extra. So in a way I see it as also a 40k tax offset for me. So essentially you could say I'm paying no tax as well!
I just cannot believe that this has been possible and we're still able to claim "welfare". It needs to stop. But as long as the option is there, I'll be punishing us if we didn't take it.

Recently Reddit Inc has announced changes to their API which, if enacted, will shut down many, if not all, 3rd party apps that a large number of Redditors use to access and enjoy their favorite communities - this one included.
One of the most critical changes to the API is that it is moving from a free to a paid model, resulting in expenses that developers of 3rd party apps simply cannot afford. To put the price change in to context, Apollo, one of the most popular 3rd party apps for Reddit, is looking at a cost of $1.7 million per month to continue operating. That's a cost of $12,000 per 50 million API requests. In contrast, Apollo pays Imgur $166 for every 50 million API calls.
This means popular apps like Apollo, Reddit Is Fun, Narwhal and many more will have to shut down - permanently.
Even if you're not using a 3rd party app yourself, these changes are likely to impact the communities you enjoy as well, with the vast majority of moderation teams relying on 3rd party or self-made tools, that utilise Reddit's API.
And on top of all that, it paints a bleak picture of what is to come for those of us who use other tools, like Reddit Enhancement Suite and old.reddit.com.
Here's a little TLDR on why this is important.
So what are we planning?
On June 12th, we and a growing number of other subs - large and small - will go dark for 48 hours. During that time, you will not be able to view or post any content on RLFashionAdvice.
This action isn't something we take lightly.
We understand that many of you enjoy coming here on a daily basis to look at and share designs, but we believe that we must take a stand on this topic - and this is how we can do so.
We understand that Reddit is a company that has to make money in order to offer us a place to be the community that we are - but killing beloved 3rd party apps is not they way to do it.
We are not asking Reddit to provide a paid service for free - we are asking for reasonable pricing for apps that people have come to love and depend on to participate in their communities.
We can't tell you that the blackout will solve the problem, because we simply don't know. But we have to try.
What you can do to support this
While subs going dark is one thing, regular users can help as well.
Reach out to Reddit via the channels available to you: Modmail reddit, comment in relevant posts regarding the API changes, submit your comments via the contact forms.
Spread the word about the changes and the consequences where you can. Doesn't have to be on Reddit. The important thing is getting it attention.
Participate in the communities that highlight this issue: Save3rdPartyApps, apolloapp, redditisfun, getnarwhal/
And finally stay off Reddit completely from June 12th to 14th. The blackout is one thing, but users staying away from the site entirely will send an equally important message.
But don't forget: Don't be a jerk. As frustrating as this is, being toxic or aggressive is not the way to go. Remember the human on the other side of the screen.
Side notes: The current contest will extend to Wednesday at 5pm Eastern for any last entries after the sub re-opens. However, I don't recommend waiting until late Sunday to post your design or try to remember on Wednesday. The moderators are in US-E and may close the sub earlier than you anticipate so we can go to bed and sleep at a decent hour.