There's something about a Monte Cristo that makes me feel alive. IDK if it's that weird combo of jam and ham or if it's the rush I get from inhaling all that dusted sugar, nearly coughing to death between bites.
I don't care about calories, I want to feel pain. Restaurant cleanliness? Please, Im eating a fried sandwich.
I'm willing to venture to any small town, road side dinner, or even your Meemaw's house if she's ready to bring it.
Any help towards my quest is greatly appreciated.

Hello, I'm a young professional (24F) and will be working in the Perimeter Park/Lake Crabtree area. I'm looking for recommendations for apartment buildings/neighborhoods.
Info:

• Prefer a 2 bedroom and my budget is <$2,000
• Safe area
• Clean apartments with newer kitchen/bathrooms
• Near grocery stores/restaurants (prefer walking distance)
• Within ~20 minute drive to my job
• Good Management

Currently, I've been looking in the Cary/Morrisville areas but they seem to be more family oriented. I've also looked at Brier Creek (heard the traffic sucks though) and Northwest Raleigh. I'd be appreciative of any information!

Residential project planned for Niagara Street (buffalonews.com)
GBUA is planning to construct a mixed-use and mixed-income residential structure on a set of properties at 555-563, 565-569 and 571 Niagara St., which it previously acquired from investor Giles Kavanagh and now plans to combine. The overall site includes a small one-story commercial building with an existing parking lot, a vacant one-story house, a couple of grassy lots and a multifamily residence.
Jemal gets approvals needed to move forward on Simon Electric project (buffalonews.com)
Jemal received approval Monday from the city Planning Board to consolidate seven parcels and 1.4 acres of land into a single large property that extends between the two parallel downtown thoroughfares.
Jemal, who acquired the properties from former owner Bert Simon in 2021, plans to transform the vacant or underutilized buildings and parking lots into 250 apartments and 20,000 square feet of ground-floor commercial space for stores and restaurants. The project will cross the property lines, so Jemal needed approval to merge them together.
West Herr wants to build a new dealership on Transit Road in Cheektowaga. Homeowners have concerns (buffalonews.com)
The auto group proposed a new car lot on 16 acres of vacant land along Transit Road, between Strasmer Road and Como Park Boulevard in the Town of Cheektowaga. The site would include a 27,000-square-foot building and parking for more than 330 cars, according to West Herr's application to the town.
Nearly a dozen residents who live near the site made their opposition known during a Town Board meeting last month. They also submitted a petition with signatures of 51 neighbors opposed to the project.
Trico project in Buffalo advances toward 2024 completion (buffalonews.com)
Plans call for 242 apartments across six floors, 56,000 square feet of commercial office and retail space on three floors, and 230 indoor parking spaces in the basement and part of the first floor. Construction is well underway, with a goal of completing at least the residential component by May 2024.
Perry Projects open house to discuss future development plans wgrz.com
The Perry Projects at 448 South Park and 399 Perry Street are currently comprised of 24 buildings and 330 vacant, uninhabitable housing units. The developer plans to build 415 affordable housing units after demolition.
The City of Buffalo has received funding to go forward with plans to demolish and construct new affordable housing at the Perry Projects.
The city is set to receive $4 million through the Restore New York Communities Initiative.
"These Restore New York grants will help to reimagine downtowns across our state and transform vacant, blighted and underutilized buildings into vibrant community anchors," Gov. Kathy Hochul said.
Construction Watch: Colvin Estates - Buffalo Rising
Marrano Homes is constructing the final phase of homes in the 103-lot Colvin Estates subdivision in North Buffalo. The homes are being built on Rachel Vincent Way between Colvin Boulevard and Starin Avenue with a mid-development connection to St. Lawrence Avenue.

"Where are your fucking clothes?!" Jerry screamed as one of the girls ran past him naked, shouting for another one and paying him no mind.
"I just had you get dressed!" he wailed as she vanished through the door to the hall. Another one stepped in through the front door and Jerry rounded on her. "Whose fucking blood is that?!" he demanded. She stared, eyes wide, but didn't answer.
"That's two more! You're up to eleven, now." Inanna said cheerfully. Jerry rounded on her, giving her a glare made of pure frustration.
"Don't give me that look," she said primly, turning away from the girl whose makeup she was doing. "You agreed to this, and you're the one cursing up a storm."
"You don't seem to have any issues cursing yourself," he pointed out.
"That's right. I don't. I've told you before that adding a few extra 'fucks' and 'shits' and 'cocksucking motherfuckers' to your vocabulary wouldn't hurt anything and might be a little cathartic."
"Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits," he deadpanned.
Inanna beamed a smile at him. "Eighteen," she said and turned back as he shook his head and went stomping after the naked girl. The one with the blood on her chin and shirt continued to stand next to the front door, looking confused.
"Does this really make men want to mate with you more?" the girl whose makeup she was doing asked. "No, not really," Inanna said. "But it makes you feel prettier, which will make you more confident, and that tends to make the whole process go better as far as you're concerned."
"So when you're done, I will feel more confident?"
"That's the idea," Inanna confirmed.
"Then I will go out and seek a practice mate. How much longer?"
"You will do no such thing until your body's finished growing," Inanna scolded. "Fucking hell, kid, you look like you're about fifteen. Any guy that wants to mate with you right now is a guy you really don't want to mate with. If you really want to practice, I'll speak to Jerry and-"
"Absolutely not!" Jerry said, leading a naked girl out of the hall by a hand around her upper arm. He grabbed the bloody one as well and walked them back to his office, from whence the naked one had come.
"Why not?" the girl asked. Inanna gave her a level stare. "Did you already forget what I just said about men who would want to mate with you? But pay him no mind, I wasn't suggesting he could do it. I mean, he'd probably leave you with internal bleeding, anyways, you're just so tiny. I was going to suggest that he work a little magic to age you up appropriately for a while, so you could find a man who wasn't a hebephile."
"What is a hebephile?" she asked.
"Almost as bad as a pedophile. Worse, in some ways. They're creepier, in any event, at least to me."
"And what is a pedophile?"
"The scum of the earth," Inanna said, as if that settled the matter.
"So I should avoid hebephiles and pedophiles," the girl said. Inanna smiled sweetly at her. "Yes, you should. Now close your eyes, I'm going to do your eyeshadow and them we'll be done."
"I can't wait to see it," the girl said, a bit of excitement creeping into her voice. Inanna gave her smokey blue eyes and then leaned back. "Okay," she said, picking up the mirror and showing the girl her reflection. She squealed loudly and clapped her hands, grinning at her reflection.
Jerry returned, now with two fully dressed girls. He put them both on the couch. "Sit here, and don't fucking move," he instructed sternly.
"Nineteen," Inanna said. Jerry ignored her comment.
"I have to go clean up 'about half' of a dead racoon. Do you think you could get some food going before one of them encounters a neighborhood cat or, god forbid, a neighborhood kid?"
"How about I get them ready to go out? I don't think I have enough food to cook for all fourteen of them."
Jerry nodded, then headed for the garage.
----
It took two humvee to get all of them moving. It also took two hours, because once the others had seen what Inanna did to their sister's face, they all wanted to wear makeup. Fortunately, Aaina had come through, breaking out her own makeup and helping cut the time needed to do them all in half.
Inanna sat in the driver's seat of one humvee with Aaina on the passenger seat. Sarah and Junior were spending the weekend at Eddis and Yarm Junior's new apartment. Some people might find it odd to let two twenty-something boys do their babysitting, but Brekka and Yarm were taking a break, doing some sightseeing in the Sixteenth world, and Inanna trusted those two boys implicitly.
"Dad seems like he's ready to snap," Aaina said. Inanna glanced over to see her looking worried. She laughed. "No, he's not."
"The last time I heard him cursing like this was when we thought you guys were dead," Aaina said. "And I'm sure he'd have killed every single god who got in his way. Tysrane was lucky he only lost a hand..."
"Oh hun," Inanna said. "How much talking and complaining did he do back then?"
"Uhh," Aaina said. "Not much, really. He was more broody than angry."
"Would you say he's acting broody tonight?"
"Ahh, I get you. So what, he's putting on a show of being angry and stressed?"
"Something like that. He's fine, in any event." Inanna turned into the parking lot of the cafeteria and was relieved to note that there was plenty of parking available. She still pulled in near the edge of the lot, taking up two spots with the huge vehicle, but the availability of closer parking meant they wouldn't be too busy.
She climbed out, watching the flood of adolescent Akkorokamui pour out of the back seat. She'd been surprised when Jerry had agreed to watch them so Nick and Zelda could go out on a date. Jerry had given her the impression that he was still holding a grudge over Nick's actions years ago, despite the older man's efforts to make amends in more recent years. But he had gone ahead and volunteered the two of them. And now, he was seemingly paying the price.
She watched as he remained in his humvee after parking and the passenger and rear doors opened. The seven girls with him poured out, and each and every one was naked.
Inanna shook her head and walked over to the driver's side door, to see Jerry behind the wheel with his head against the steering wheel. She opened the door.
"How many?" she asked.
"Twelve more," he admitted. "That's thirty four," she said. He nodded slightly.
"Are you turning your aura on or something?" Inanna asked. He finally lifted his head to look at her.
"No!" he said. "That's what I don't get. They're not trying to do anything, with me or each other! They're just taking their damn clothes off like it's perfectly normal and continuing to chit chat with each other!"
"Well, I mean, it is kinda normal for them to be naked..."
Jerry fixed her with a look. "It's also normal for them to have tentacles instead of legs." None of the girls had reverted to her tentacles. Inanna hadn't even seen one start to, all night. Visually speaking, they'd been a normal gaggle of teenage girls, all evening.
"That's weird, because none of them got undressed in my car," she said.
Jerry threw his hands up. He whimpered. "I don't know how I'm going to deal with thi-Ahh, shit, they're already running inside!"
Inanna turned to see a trio of naked girls entering the restaurant.
"You go get them," Inanna said. "Put a veil of mundanity on them. If they want to go naked, let them go naked, just keep the staff from overreacting." Jerry sighed and nodded, jogging in. Aaina and four of the girls walked up. Inanna counted heads gathered in a group in the middle of the parking lot, chatting excitedly. Seven, five of which were naked. Which meant the girls who'd ridden with her were undressing now.
She sighed. She understood Jerry's frustration. These girls all seemed to have a serious attention deficit disorder, and herding them had been a nightmare so far.
"Aaina," she asked. "Will you find whatever clothing got discarded in the parking lot, and then help everyone who's still dressed get undressed? At least that way, we can keep them from losing their clothes."
"Gonna use a veil?" Aaina asked. "Your father should be using one by now, yes," Inanna said.
"Okay," Aaina turned, spotted a pile of clothing and went to retrieve it.
"We'll be inside," Inanna said. She walked over to the group and pulled the naked ones aside. "The rest of you, let Aaina take your clothes. You can all go naked if you like."
A ragged, high-pitched cheer went up as Inanna shook her head, smiling. "Come on, let's go get some food."
----
There was a bit of a kerfuffle due to the girls entering before Jerry could get the veil settled, but once he did, Inanna was able to smooth things over with the staff and other patrons. Jerry got the tab settled, which was over three hundred dollars for all of them. Inanna considered it money well spent, as the girls took to eating with gusto, and required no real supervision.
They also ate a lot. Which might make the owner upset, but that's the risk one takes when one's only dining option is 'all you can eat'. The cook staff seemed to like the girls, who were mostly bubbly and enthusiastic about trying everything they could.
Jerry was starting to settle down, too. He only racked up four more curse words during dinner. When he and Inanna had eaten, she scooched her chair over to lean against him.
"I think we should do something with them," she said.
Jerry sighed. "Nick told me that the last time they had a night together, Zelda's sister ate one of them, and Zelda in turn, ate her sister. I don't think they'd handle it well. Besides, that's not my-gahh!" Inanna cut him off with a poke in the ribs.
"I didn't mean killing them, you psycho. I meant taking them somewhere to blow off some steam."
Jerry gawked at her. "Are you out of your mind?" he whispered. "We barely survived dinner!"
"Actually, dinner went quite well, compared to keeping them cooped up at the house. That's what gave me the idea."
Jerry heaved a heavy sigh. "I guess you're right. But I have no idea what to do with them."
Inanna turned to Aaina. "Aaina, what do you think?"
"The park," Aaina said without hesitation. "Specifically, Rockville park, down on Churchville Road."
Inanna blinked. "The playground?" she asked. Aaina nodded with a smile. "Exactly."
"I'm not so sure that would be their speed," Inanna objected, but Aaina shook her head.
"Mom, I've been chatting with them all night. I know they look like teenage girls, but for the most part, they talk like little kids. I mean, they're what, six months old?"
"Good point," Inanna said with a proud smile. Aaina smiled back, so she reached over and mussed her hair, eliciting a squeal of protest and a frantic brushing.
"You're such a smart young lady," Inanna said.
----
The girls took to the park with gusto, hooting and hollering as they climbed all over the equipment and chased each other around and just generally had a great time.
"Now," Inanna said as she settled onto a bench with Aaina and Jerry. "All we have to do is make sure none of them run off."
"Okay, this was a damn good idea," Jerry said. "Thank you, both of you. I feel like I can finally breath again."
They sat there, watching the girls play, until a familiar voice sounded from behind them.
"Hey Mister and Missus Williams!" Eddis called. Sara and Junior cried out "Mommy!" in unison.
"Hey," Inanna said as her two youngest children tackled her, hugging and tickling them in response. "What are you guys doing here?"
"The little ones were getting restless, so we decided to bring them out for a bit before bedtime, tire them out some."
"Same," Jerry deadpanned.
"Go play, you too," Inanna said to her kids, shooing them off. She concentrated, summoning a sliver of magic and forming it into a mental warning to the girls.
Anyone who harms the two little kids will get the exact same treatment your aunt got when she ate your sister. And I want to hear fourteen acknowledgements.
A few seconds later, a chorus of fourteen voices chanted the lesson Jerry had impressed upon them at the onset. "Children are friends, not food."
"I meant it!" Inanna shouted.
She kept her eyes on the two little ones, just in case. Several of the girls peeled off and began chatting them up. Within moments, they'd been roped into some sort of game that involved the players chasing each other around screaming "Zombie! Om nom nom!"
"Man," Eddis said as he took a seat on the bench. Yarm Junior offered a hand to Aaina, who took it. He pulled her up and led her to the playground as she laughed at something he said.
"I don't know how you guys do it. I mean, I hear your kids are pretty well behaved from Mom and everyone who knows them, but..."
"They do tend to run you ragged," Jerry commiserated.
"You get used to it," Inanna added.
"Man, I sure hope so. I've always dreamed of having a family. Being a dad, you know?"
"You're gonna be the best dad one day, Eddis," Inanna told him. "Your brother, too. You're both such amazing young men."
"I gotta hit the bathroom," Jerry said, standing up. "Are you guys good without me for a minute?"
Inanna counted heads. Sixteen girls, two boys. "Yup," she said. Jerry nodded and walked over to the bathrooms.
"You mom's gonna love being a grandmother," Inanna said. Eddis laughed. "Yeah, if I can ever find the right girl."
"Don't tell me you're still a virgin," Inanna gasped. Eddis gave her an incredulous look, and then pulled out and tapped his phone a few times. He showed it to her, the screen displaying his contacts. About three quarters of them were women's names with heart emojis at the end. Inanna laughed.
"You certainly take after your father in that regards."
"Yeah. Dad and mom had it a little easier, though. There were only a few people in the tribe, and you pretty much had to pair up young back then."
"Do you remember much of the tribe?" Inanna asked. Eddis shrugged. "Yeah, a bit. Junior doesn't really remember much. We both prefer it here though, I can tell you that."
"Me too," Inanna said.
A moment later, she added. "Well, the bright side is that there's no pressure on you to find the right girl who wants to settle down and have a family."
"What do you mean?" he asked. Inanna pointed to the trees surrounding the park, where Aaina and Yarm Junior could be seen kissing under the canopy.
"Oh!" Eddis gasped.
"You'd better go break it up before Jerry gets out the bathroom. He's liable to have a heart attack, after the evening we've had."

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Benjaman1 in IAmA
trigger warnings: mention of assault

ORIGINAL POST- 26th November 2012
I woke up beaten with no memories outside of a burger king in 2004. Any identification was stolen as well. The Amnesia was presumed to have been caused by an injury that knocked me unconscious. The United States government still doesn't have a clue as to who I was. My internet connection is spotty, so I'll be on as long as I can. Here is proof, and here is more - a copy of the only ID card I have with the address covered.
There's a short documentary that explains my predicament on findingbenjaman.com, or vimeo link After the documentary, I got a special state ID, and a job in a kitchen, where i still am to this day.
Please sign the petition to get me a new social security number.
I have to go, but I will try to get back when I have a good connection and the time.
UPDATE: To the websleuths page claiming that this is fake, read - Guardian UK article.
UPDATE 11/26: If you are serious about arranging travel, [please email here](mailto:[email protected]), [and here](mailto:[email protected])
Also, Please be aware that I do want to fix this but I also have a full time job in which people depend on me. I cannot take the time to go find a WI-Fi and respond to everything that is posted.

ANOTHER AMA BY OOP- 20th December 2012
BORU OP Note - Contents of the post are more or less the same. I have only included the additional information here.
The US Government Doesn't know who I am, and without a social security number, I can't get a job, find a place to live, or functionally exist in the eyes of the government.
My story and petition has received national attention, but Reddit has been the only source that has made a significant dent in the petition, which is the only real shot I've got at a normal life. Reddit, you're the best hope I have, please please sign it.
I woke up beaten with no memories outside of a burger king in 2004. Any identification I had was stolen as well. The Amnesia was presumed to have been caused by an injury that knocked me unconscious. The United States government still doesn't have a clue as to who I am. Even after eight years, they still don't know, and I have not been given a number, nor been able to live a normal life.
Update from previous AMA - As to the Waffle House leads from the last AMA, we're in touch with someone who works at the corporate level at WH, and they're helping us look at employee records. The two Reddit users who posted about having thought they saw me still have not responded to our messages and emails. Thank you for all the missing people links, but unfortunately, none of them are me. We've looked into all of them.
Additional Info from Comments -

The Burger King was on the interstate. We think that I was just passing through
No drugs in my system. Blood work came back as "surprisingly normal".
I remeber the ER staff making jokes about what to call me. If it had been a McD's they probably would have called me Ronald.
No dental database and not in the criminal.
I am in the 23andMe plus Family Tree DNA and I am soon to be entered into AncestryDNA.
IRS told me that if I would claim to be an illegal alien they could give me a Taxpayer Identification Number.
I have thought about just making one up [SSN], but with the FBI involved I would be soon found out. It IS against the law.

UPDATE - Summary from news/wikipedia
On August 31, 2004, at 5:00 a.m., a Burger King employee in Richmond Hill, Georgia, found Kyle unconscious, naked, and sunburned behind a dumpster of the restaurant. He had three depressions in his skull that appeared to have been caused by blunt force trauma and he also had red ant bites on his body.
He had no identity document and was recorded in hospital records as "Burger King Doe". After the incident, no criminal investigation was opened by Richmond Hill police until a friend inquired with the department in 2007. There were no reports of stolen vehicles in the area and local restaurants and hotels did not encounter any individuals matching Kyle's description.
He eventually said that he remembered his name was Benjaman, spelled with two 'a's, but said he could not recall his last name. He came up with the surname "Kyle" from his police and hospital placeholder name. Benjaman Kyle. BK. Burger King.
He had cataracts in both eyes, and had corrective surgery nine months after he was found, when a charity raised enough money to pay for the operation. Upon seeing himself in the mirror for the first time, Kyle realized he was around 20 years older than he thought he was.
Kyle believed he was passing through Richmond Hill, either on U.S. Route 17 or Interstate 95 in late August 2004. He may also have been on the road because of Hurricane Charley, which had hit earlier that month.
After being released from the hospital, Kyle spent several years between shelters and hospitals. In 2007, he met a nurse who first inquired about his past. The nurse helped support Kyle financially while he earned about $100 a month mostly doing yard work. While driving his truck in a yard, Kyle discovered that he still remembered how to drive a car. He was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia in 2007, that dates from August 31, 2004.
For many years after his amnesia Kyle was homeless and had been unable to obtain employment as he was unable to remember his full Social Security number. Several online petitions were created asking lawmakers to grant Kyle a new Social Security number. In 2012, an online petition failed as its deadline expired on December 25, it had received only two-thirds of the number of signatures required to receive an official response.
Kyle remembered that he was born 10 years before Michael Jackson and on the same day, giving him a possible birth date of August 29, 1948. Genetic testing suggested that he may have had the surname Powell or Davidson or have relatives with these names.
Kyle appeared on the Dr. Phil show on the October 16, 2008, episode "Who am I". Dr. Phil McGraw paid for Kyle to seek a professional hypnotist in an effort to help him recover lost memories. Through hypnosis, he recalled a partial Social Security number 3X5-44-XXXX and few blurred, fragmented memories of Denver and Indianapolis.
Kyle had nearly no memory of his life after the 1980s, including how he ended up in Georgia. One event he does remember is reading about the September 11 attacks. When asked by doctors to recall the Presidents of the United States, he was able to recall only those from the 20th century. Many of his memories he cannot describe in words and are at the tip of his tongue.
In February 2015, a forensic genealogist reported that Kyle had cut off all contact with her just as she felt she was nearing a breakthrough. A DNA test revealed that Kyle shared significant amount of DNA with members of a family named Powell in the western Carolinas – descendants of a 19th-century man named Abraham Lovely Powell.
On September 16, 2015, Kyle announced that his real identity had been found, including identifying his name and close family members.
In November 21, 2016, Kyle's true identity was revealed to be William Burgess Powell. He was born on August 29, 1948, in Lafayette, Indiana, and was raised there. In 1976, he had cut ties with his family and abandoned his possessions, including his car and the trailer where he had been living. His family filed a missing persons report at the time, and police found he had moved to Boulder, Colorado, where he had moved on a whim with a coworker. His birth date turned out to be one of the details about his previous life he had been able to remember correctly. A reporter was able to find some Social Security records of him working in various jobs until 1983, after which no records could be found for the remaining period of more than 20 years before his discovery in 2004.
​
Reminder - I am not the original poster.

I can’t help but get irritated whenever my dad calls me. It’s like every other day that he calls. It may sound messed up that I react this way to his calls but it’s the truth. My life is pretty messed up due to DUI I committed a few years ago. I’ve been busy working and paying off fines, going to counseling, doing community services, etc. As soon as I get off my shift at my primary job, I do some DoorDash. My schedule isn’t very flexible at all. Yet my dad keeps calling me everyday asking “what are you doing?” Or “do you work today?” “Maybe sometime next week we can go hang out”. I’m glad he wants to hang out with me but I hate hanging out with him. Confusing right?
He just got through a 2nd divorce and is all lonely so he starts contacting people he suspects got nothing better to do. I’m single too but I’m working pretty much all day, everyday. Most people don’t wanna hang out with him because he has anger issues. He LOVES to be angry. So every time we go out to restaurants or the grocery store he starts a scene over something petty.
One time the cashier at Costco at self-checkout told my father that he had to remove his grocery bags off the bagging scale to start a second order and he got all angry with the lady even though she was just explaining how the machine worked. My dad assumed the worst and thought she was just trying to give him a hard time so he gave her “the look” 😡 and went to a different self checkout register to start a new order. He told me to just wait at the self checkout register while he waited in line again to use a different one. The whole 6 minutes my dad was mean mugging the employee like he was Shrek or something. Meanwhile I was stuck looking like a dick for holding up the line.
He overanalyzes every situation and assumes the worst about people so he’s always getting offended. The energy he gives off is always negative. I have to get drunk just to cope whenever we hang out. My body can only take so much alcohol before I get alcohol poisoning. I only hang out with him because I pity him. I feel a sense of guilt if I decline his invitations to hang out even though I know I shouldn’t. I feel kinda shitty for saying this but there’s a reason why nobody wants to hang out with him and there’s a reason why my mom left him. If ANGER was a species of human, that’s him.
What’s worse is that he tries to get me to believe that me and him are alike. We’re no where near alike to each other besides in genes. My idea of socializing and having a good time don’t involve road raging, starting drama scenes eat restaurants and criticizing everything and everyone in sight. He used to offer me rides home after work because the walking distance was like 7 miles. Any time I accepted he’d do nothing but criticize every decision I made. He’d spend the whole ride back home explaining to me how foolish I was for whatever decision I decided I’d share with him. It sucks because when we talk, it’s not really talk. When we talk, he’s questioning me like he’s some kind of detective. Whatever I say is met with anger and ridicule.
Dad: “How many hours did you work today?” Me: “4” Dad: “Only 4?!…..you better stop letting your boss step all over you like that” Me: “🙄”
Dad: “What did you eat for dinner?” Me: “I don’t remember” Dad: “what?! You don’t remember?!” Me: “no I don’t, why is that a problem?” Dad: “most people with a brain know what they ate for dinner” Me: …😒 Me: “I think it was French toast” Dad: “FRENCH TOAST?!!” Me: “yes”
Dad: “Why’d you buzz your hair off?” Me: “because I wanted to” Dad: “not a smart move, people are gonna think you’re a skinhead…..again, you need to start thinking with your head”
By the end of the trip I would feel like shit. I eventually decided that I’d rather walk 7 miles instead of putting up with him. I truly don’t understand what the hell my dad gets out of spending time with me. I definitely don’t get anything out of it except for when my little half brother comes along.

Race Information

• Name: Boston Marathon
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Time: 2:40:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
C	Finish strong	Yes
B	Under 2:45	Yes
A	Under 2:42 (PR)	Yes

This is a bit late for a Boston recap and very long for a casual read (consider yourself warned). It’s kind-of about the race, but it’s also just a bunch of semi-connected thoughts and feelings about training, injury, results, and what comes next that have been floating around for me over the last couple months.

Prologue

I started running during the pandemic, transitioning away from my long-time sport of Ultimate Frisbee to try to run a sub-5 mile (report here). I did it, and it was good. And I had caught the running bug. Ready to extend my distances, I declared to my coach that my next goal (after a short hiatus to play one more season of frisbee) was to qualify for Boston. Boston was, in fact, the only marathon I had ever spectated: I remember sitting at Coolidge Corner in 2009, watching runners speed by. I was young and springy then, and had no desire to run farther than 3 miles continuously. But now it was 2021, and time had run out on my fast-twitch abilities: it was time to go long. I wanted to run Boston, which meant I had to run something else - and hopefully just one “something else” - first.
We decided to target Eugene for 2022, to qualify for Boston in 2023. I began building up my base in the fall, testing my weekly mileage limits. I remember a “long run” of 70 minutes the first Sunday after I returned to regular running. I nearly gave up and walked 60 minutes in. But the next Sunday I did 80 minutes, and it was better. By the end of the fall, I was comfortably hitting 50 mpw and 2 hour runs. By the time Eugene came around, I had sixteen weeks of generally healthy training and six 20+ mile runs in my legs. felt ready, and I was: I ran a 2:42. I was a freshly minted 36 at the time, so with the BQ time for my age group and gender at 3:05, I was firmly in the clear.
I'll pause here to say that although I am far from an elite runner, I am also keenly aware that many people work their asses off for years to qualify for Boston, and that some never do. I worked hard, too, and my history of sports can’t have hurt, but at the end of the day I know I have some (unearned) talent for running that made my path to Hopkinton easier than it is for many. I will leave it here in saying that I have immense respect for everyone who laces up and puts in the work, regardless of their pace and outcome.

The Build

After Eugene, I had turned my attention away from the roads for about six months. I put the bank of fitness I had developed to work on trails and on mountains. I got to cover (and bonk on) a few of the many thrilling backcountry objectives in British Columbia, and even ran a 50k in Washington. (It went about as well as most people’s first 50k, which is to say that I ran out of food, water, fully supermanned down a trail, cramped every muscle in my lower body, and shuffled it in. Huge success.) But when December came around, it was time to get back to the roads.
Working with the same coach, my road fitness came back surprisingly quickly. I was hitting high-water marks for volume, pushing my average up to the high 60s/low 70s. I felt, well, not good, but I did feel fast. I remember hammering out a 30 minute tempo on the track at 5:41/mi, a workout I never would have been capable of during the Eugene build. I was tired after, but confident and elated. I got compliments from the youngsters rolling 600 repeats around the track, and their coach. I felt like I was on track for a new PR, and not just a PR but a crushingly fast time, maybe somewhere in the mid 2:30s. But somewhere, offscreen, ominous music played. I had my wings on, and I was headed towards the sun.
The sun took the form of a work trip to Bozeman. I flew over Thursday, found a gym to do a tough 60 minute “mountain fitness” workout that evening, ran for an hour Friday morning in the snow, and skate skied 2.5 hours hard on Saturday. Sunday morning, I took on a treadmill workout that was something like 7x(7 min @ 5:41/mi, 2 min off). After two intervals, I knew I didn’t have it. I stepped off the treadmill. I’ve failed workouts in the past, and I’ve been able to move on, but for some reason this one stuck. It stuck, as they say in the South in my craw. Annoyed, I went back to my hotel room and tried to regroup. With my muscles already starting to tighten up with the effort, I resolved to partially salvage the day with an easy run around town. But it didn’t feel like I had salvaged anything. So, after an 8-hour, two hopper flight home, I made another attempt to soothe my bruised ego. With night falling, I hit the pavement, starting out easy but picking up speed. Tired, tight, and without any food or water, I hammered away, deep in the no-man’s land of Zone 3. I had heard the warnings. I paid no heed. I was invincible, and I was going to reclaim the fitness I had missed out on that morning. I ran the distance of a half marathon and got home after dark, and you know what? It felt good, at the time. It felt

The Injury

The next morning, I woke up in a pile of melted wings. My left leg couldn’t take any weight without shooting pain and was tender to the touch around my mid-shin. I felt the dubious benefit of immediate and regretful clarity on what had gone wrong. My ego had let me believe that I could or should try nail a workout on a foreign treadmill at altitude (Bozeman!) after an exhausting couple of days. Failing that, it had convinced me that I should make up the workout with a long, unfueled run. Ego is a hell of drug.
It took several days for me to accept that I was injured. Looking back on my training log, it seems insane, but I ran the next few days on my program, including a track workout. My leg would throb and ache, but I would get through it, only to wake up in more pain that would abate just enough for me to try it out again that afternoon. Eventually, I fessed up to my coach and she immediately sent me to a PT and had me stop running for a week. I thought this was excessive at the time, but in retrospect I think it might have saved the build. The PT I saw said I had a stress reaction, probably brought on by a combination of weak glutes (it’s always the glutes) changing my push off and some good old-fashioned overdoing it.
For the next month, I cross trained with uphill biking, skate skiing, and water jogging. We re-introduced running gradually, starting with once every three days, then every other day, then two out of three days. The shin seemed to get better slowly, and we gradually reached a kind of homeostasis: I knew how far I could push it, and as long as I didn’t overdo it, it seemed to recover slightly faster every time. But the injury had come at a bad time, and missing most of February meant that I couldn’t race the local half marathon I had planned on or a local trail race (though I still participated in them as long runs).
By mid-March, I was feeling mostly better. In addition to Boston, I had also signed up for Chuckanut 50k, a trail ultra renowned for its smooth runnable trails and its timing: it often drew some of the elites of US trail running as an early season opener. I didn’t feel quite ready to hammer the downhills, but if anything, limiting myself kept my quads intact almost through the end of the race. I didn’t tear the roof off, but I ran most of the way and felt pretty good doing it. When I woke up the next day with the usual soreness, but no acute pain in my shin, I knew I was going to finish the build and run an honest race at Boston.
The only problem was that a week’s recovery brought me to March 24: only about three weeks before Boston. With a weeklong taper, shorter than usual by necessity, we really only had two weeks to get into Boston shape. My coach put on a masterclass in programming: she designed workouts that required exactly as much as I could give at the time, while preparing me for the unique qualities of the Boston experience and course. One in particular stands out: 4x(15 min MP effort, 8 min T effort, 4 min jog), but on a route that included a 300-foot hill, which I ended up going up and down 3 times. The key was to maintain effort going uphill, but to not go any faster than 6:10/mile downhill. That and another long run gave me two 20+ milers in the books. That was it.
Going into Boston, I knew I didn’t have the sharpness I had even three months ago. I had started the cycle hoping to PR, maybe by a lot, but before the marathon I set more conservative goals: my C goal was to get to 20 miles (where my mom would be) feeling strong; my B goal was to get under 2:45. My A goal was to PR. I wasn’t feeling brave: I wanted to minimize the possibility of blowing up, while still giving myself a fighting chance at a one-second PR if I was having a really good day.

The Marathon

There’s not much to say about Boston (the marathon) that readers here haven’t read before. The logistics are impeccable, but overwhelming for a first-timer, the fanfare and the fans are legendary, and the course is the running world’s version of the Strait of Messina: athletes must navigate Scylla’s ego-tempting downhills and Charybdis’ ill-timed uphills to survive. While it is literally impossible to make it to the Boston marathon start line without having at least one hundred people tell you to not hammer the downhill at the start, people still do it every single year.
In a way, I was lucky have reckoned with (and lost to) my ego early in the build. I came to Boston healthy but wary of too much self-belief. We set a target and hard limit on the pace I would set through the first 15k: 6:15s would be ideal, but at most 6:10s: I wouldn’t run faster than I had down my training hill. At the start line, a small inspiration struck. Boston sets bib numbers by qualifying time, and my 2:42 at Eugene gave me something in the 1100s. Within my corral, I found the people around my number and then walked about 30 meters back, placing myself closer to folks wearing 1500s. I reasoned that if most people overcooked the start, then I wanted to be with the folks overcooking it at a pace I could be comfortable with.
Once the race started, it was virtually impossible, for the first couple miles or so, to shift my pace much above or below what the people around me wanted to run. If thought at first that I had let myself sit too far back: I ran a 6:35 first mile down the two-lane streets of Hopkinton. But as the crowds thinned a bit, I found a rhythm, and clicked off my first 5k at around 19:14, around a 6:12/mile pace. The next 5k, still downhill but slightly less, was a 19:12. The third was 19:13. Rolling through the small towns that make up the western side of the Boston metro area, I didn’t feel good, exactly, but I also didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t sure what kind of day I was having. That’s the odd thing about the marathon, so far as I can tell: you might know you’re having a bad day early on, but deciding that you’re having a good day is inviting disaster.
A quick aside: it can’t be overstated how impressive the Boston crowds are. There was no point on the course that I can remember where we were without support for more than 25 meters. Wellesley and Boston University are extreme even in that context, though: you actually feel the roar at those points in the course before you hear or see it. Bless you, you drunk and joyful undergraduates.
By 25k, we were through half and quickly approaching the Newton Hills. After a long downhill, we turned at the fire station and started to charge up. I shortened my stride and began to pump my arms, lifting my effort from a 6 to a 7 but no higher. I didn’t look at my watch until the end of the first hill, so you can imagine my shock when I saw that the last mile had been a 6:06. I cruised the lengthy downhill after the first hill (nobody really tells you about those) and regained my composure. The second hill was punchier, and brought me down to a 6:10, but I still felt good, and was starting to pass quite a few people. The third hill was mostly forgettable, which left only Heartbreak. While not objectively a big hill, it’s big enough for that point in a marathon, and you definitely see it coming. I was determined to hold my early race pace through it, though, and pushed the effort up again. I was breathing hard, but I got to the top still holding a 6:11 pace.
Even at the top of Heartbreak, I wasn’t fully ready to believe that this was going to be a really good day. I’m told that much better runners have lost entire races in the so-called “haunted” mile following Heartbreak, and I wasn’t sure what my quads had left in the tank. But while it still didn’t feel good, I kept pouring in gas and they kept responding. The last few miles of the race are a bit of a blur: I remember pushing the pace down to 6:06, then 6:00, then even below 6:00 for a mile or so. There are a couple very short and punchy climbs just before the last turns that took something out of me, but by the time I turned left on Boylston I knew I had more than the balance left over. I started sprinting at the turn, only to realize that the 600 meter long stretch was a bit more than I had bargained for. Still, I closed respectably: I ran last mile was a 5:41, exactly what I had worked on maintaining in that early tempo workout
I finished in 2:40:XX and negative split by about 2 minutes. It poured like crazy 15 minutes after, while I huddled under a restaurant awning. I watched other runners come in. Some, like me, had the elation of a good day to soothe their tired muscles and joints. Some had no such balm, and were left to untangle the end of a long, challenging cycle from a disappointing final result. I was reminded, too, that it’s all relative: as I sat under the awning, I heard a runner near me lament his 2:35, while another came in over the moon with his 3:15. Kipchoge had a bad day, and he finished more than half an hour before I did. We are comparison machines, and expectations versus reality is the oldest routine we know.

Epilogue

The marathon is a harsh race, and I feel genuinely lucky to have had good experiences on my attempts so far. Two months on though, my body still feels beat up: I’m struggling to recover, my knees ache, and my workouts seem to be going the wrong direction. I don’t think I gave my recovery the respect it deserved, so I am once again tangling with my own hubris.
Assuming I can rest enough to properly recover, I also find myself in the position of figuring out what’s next. Boston was a big goal for me, and I didn’t set any real running objectives after it. All I have on my schedule this summer is a couple of local trail and road races. I thought Boston would be my last marathon before I moved entirely to the more forgiving pastures of trail running, but I’m also tempted to see how far I can push the needle on my road running before age claws my aerobic fitness back from me. I’m 37 now, and well aware that at some point the PRs will no longer be on the table, but I think that day is still a few years off. If you were me, what would you aim for next?

I'll be honest, I'm open to this going a lot of different directions: Relationship, fling, friend, FWB, one-nighter, open to all possibilities. Let's get to know each other see where things go before deciding. I don't like the idea of saying "well I'm only looking for sex" or "I only want a relationship" in advance. That's just so closed minded and unrealistic and doesn't let real chemistry develop like it would if we had met in person.
I am seeking someone intelligent, fun, curious and cool to spend time with and see where it goes. This can be for staying in and watching movies and ordering in, going out and trying new restaurants/bars, going on a fun weekend road trip together, or ditching work together one day and getting into trouble. Or who knows, maybe we just straight into the bedroom or shower and get crazy. No pressure either way.
Age gaps are fun and excitng. While its not an absolute requirement, I'm just sort of bored by women the same age as me. I can meet plenty of those IRL. What would be way more interesting is finding an 18-20F and be your older guy. But I'd also be open to finding someone older (45+) if you are cute and the chemistry is right.
Some requirements:

1. You must be 18+ (if you are exactly 18, move to the front of the line)
   
2. You must be in Chicago or nearby. I'm on the North Side. I'd prefer if you were too. But if you're close or in the near suburbs and mobile, maybe we can make it work
   
3. Be intelligent. Type in full sentences. Understand basic geography. Don't be a republican. Have interests other than just dogs and Taylor Swift. Nerdy/ambitious girls are cute to me. Also very into athletic or skinny girls.
   
4. Be willing to tell me your age and location in your first message. If you can't tell me those basics, I'm going to assume you aren't serious about meeting.
   
5. No dudes. Period. Don't ask.
   
6. Not really into large black women. I'm sure you are ovely people but I'm not attracted to that. Sorry, just my preference.
   

Look, I'm realistic and I understand women have 5 billion options online. We're all sick of dating apps, we're all lonely, and we're all craving a real connection. I know I won't get a ton of responses and half of them will suck. But I promise if you put some effort into this and give it a chance, I'll put in the same amount of effort..
Let's have some fun.

Warning: long post.
Now first of all, I acknowledge that there’s a high chance I’ll probably just stay home or settle where I can without much of a choice, but I have a few places that I thought about potentially using as a sort of base of operations and I thought hey it be cool to sort of discuss what would be the best option to use. I’ll give some pros and cons and you can tell me what you think.
The storage unit: Could fit about 30 people.
A relatively small series of outdoor storage units not too far from where I live. It’s fenced off on all sides and there are some RVs, truck trailers and camper trailers in the back. It would be easy to build up defenses, there’s farm land close by (plus decent soil inside the fence) and I’d imagine the units could be repurposed into rooms. Plus there’s what looks like a water treatment area not far by. The problem is that it’s very close to the road and while it’s not exactly the most populated town it’s hard to miss it. It’s also close to a small airport, like literally across the street. Plus I am not sure how I’d get power or water to the place.
A college campus sports field Could hold 50-75+
The campus I go to has a series of sports fields for football, soccer, baseball etc near the edge of the campus. Its partially fenced off with some pretty serious metal fences and has a series of tall buildings that would be great for look outs plus hills. There’s plenty of space on the fields for tents and shelters as well as farming and live stock and the power comes from the campus which partially uses solar. The campus itself would make for a great base later on but would be impossible to clear and inhabit early on without some serious preparations. There’s also a few ponds near the field which could be used for water. Despite being by a campus it’s not visible from any main roads problems would come from the fact that the walls don’t go all the way around and depending on the time this place would be the most populated. Also while there is space to build there are no readily available shelters and power would be difficult to acquire.
the camp ground Could hold 30-50
An old family vacation spot, this place is pretty remote. There’s no store or any major city for at least 10 miles and that is a conservative estimate. While most of the camps buildings (a motel, a check in lodge, a restaurant, a canoe shop) are on the ground, most camp sites are up a steep hill with each having access to well water. There is a river as well with stretches half way around the camp site along with two ponds. There is a horse ranch across the street of the quite subtle entrance and plenty of trails and wild life to hunt. There is a wood heater which helps keep the buildings warm and everyone around is either a prepper or just wants to be left alone. The main issue is that it would be incredibly difficult to defend this place if it is ever discovered, it would be hard to get power here along with any supplies, the soil doesn’t seem the best for growing crops (course I never tried) and this location is the farthest from my home, a whole two hour drive.
If any of you guys have questions or suggestions I am all ears. Thank you.

“There were rules, Mafia codes you had to go by. But the code is ridiculous. It's a code among sociopaths.” David Chase (creator: The Sopranos)
Chapter Three: Tiffany and The Ax

1. ANTIBES, FRANCE. Jude sat at a small table outside La Forge Restaurant on Jacques Audiberti Place. The petite square was bustling with late morning activity. He sipped an espresso and paged through his USA Today. A group of teenagers passed loudly through the square on their way to the beach from a hostel. Tiffany and her girlfriend were with the group. He had been watching her for about a week now but the right opportunity hadn't presented itself.

He told himself he wasn't delaying the operation because he was on an unlimited expense account and his target was spending the summer on the Cote d'Azur. He supposed milking a client that way would be unethical. The thought amused him. It really was because he hadn't found the perfect chance to kill her. Mostly. Mostly that was it.
He noted that the Tour de France was passing through the area and decided to find a place to watch the event. And then there was the Musee Picasso on Place Mariejol. He didn't want to miss that.
He could kill Tiffany tomorrow. Or the next day.
Finally it was the weather that forced his hand. A fierce summer storm was predicted for that week. Such an event would make Tiffany's movements unpredictable. She might stay in and weather it, as he would then have to do as well or she might catch the train to a fairer climate. He had no doubt he could find her again, but uncertainties made him uncomfortable. The night before the storm rolled in, he got his perfect opportunity.
It was late, past midnight. Jude had been watching Tiffany as she snuck away with a young man, an Australian, Jude guessed. They had been drinking on the beach, the Plage Gravette, having snuck on after it closed. The location couldn't have been more perfect if Karsen picked it himself. It was surrounded by walls on three sides and faced the ocean. It wasn't lit other than the light kicking off the surrounding apartment buildings. And with the cloud cover from the oncoming storm, it was all but impossible for anyone in the overlooking apartment buildings to see any activity on the beach that night.
Tiffany's male companion passed out after sex. Tiffany lay there, quite drunk herself. Finally she got up and staggered towards the road. Jude watched from the shadows as she came right towards him. She passed one bum, fast asleep by the wall and entered into the tunnel leading from the beach. She never saw Karsen.
She cried out for a split second. But Jude covered her mouth with gloved hands and snapped her neck. He carried her body off the beach, out the gate to the Quai Henri Rambaud and onto a waiting boat.
While Jude piloted the motorboat out into the ocean, into the face of the storm, his partner prepared the body. When they reached far enough out, they dumped the pretty, blonde teenager over the side. And started a media firestorm.
​
Tiffany Teague was an ordinary American girl. She was from the state of New York. Wynantskill, specifically. A hamlet outside of Albany. She was a junior in college, attending Cedar Crest College in Allentown, PA, an all women's school. She liked Justin Timberlake and Fallout Boy and thought that Paul Walker was the perfect man.
Edward and Maggie Teague weren't rich, or even well off after several failed business ventures, but they doted on their kids and helped Tiffany save for a summer of backpacking in Europe. They were proud of the fact that while most of Tiffany's friends were sitting around getting drunk and pregnant, Tiffany would be learning about the world. They probably wouldn't have been pleased with how she spent her last hours alive.
When she vanished, they began a tireless campaign. Like all parents faced with an unsolvable mystery of this type, they played nightmare scenarios over and over in their heads. Was it worse that she was dead? Or was it worse that she was alive, perhaps living in some horrible situation? Which to hope for? How to pray?
The case caught the attention of Nancy Grace and Greta Van Susteren. The resulting media pressure caused France, the United States and Australia (the home of the poor drunken boy last known to be with her) to redouble their efforts on Tiffany's behalf.
But there was no trace to be found. No clue as to her disappearance. The Australian boy, somewhat of a loathsome cad, found himself now reviled as a murderer. For the life of him, he could barely remember their last hours together. He didn't even remember having slept with her on the beach. A fact attested to by the drunk who watched it, but his testimony was highly questionable.
No one would ever have tied it to a case in Federal Court from almost two years before. The prosecution of a small time thug named Paulie Azeglio. In 2002 Paulie was convicted under U.S.C. § 2315 Sale or receipt of stolen goods, securities or monies. He was sentenced to three years, but died in prison in 2003. His death was retribution in an ongoing organized crime power struggle involving his infamous father, Frank “The Ax” Azeglio. Edward Teague was a juror in the trial that convicted Paulie.
​
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. Two and half months before Tiffany's death, Jude was in the living room of his home in Sherman Oaks. He had his laptop hooked up to his 70 inch big screen television and he was sitting on the couch watching porn when his cell phone rang with an unknown number. Normally he wouldn't have answered it, but the area code was from New York. And he got a prickly feeling at the back of his neck. So he managed to get his hands clean in time to answer the call before it kicked over to voice mail.
The speaker was abrupt. A limousine would be arriving at his home in forty-five minutes. It would take him to the airport. He would fly to New York, JFK International and be picked up from there for a meeting. After the meeting he would be taken to a hotel before being flown back to L.A. the following afternoon. The option to refuse this was not offered. And Jude, recognizing the voice, knowing the caller by reputation, never once thought of turning it down. He got up, showered and packed an over-night bag. The limo was right on time.
When he arrived in New York, it was almost 4 AM. Another limo was waiting for him and the ride from the airport took forty-five minutes. Jude slept for most of it as it was past one in the morning, California time. He woke from the sound of the limo coming to a stop. The driver opened the door and Jude stepped out, stretching as he did so.
He was in a warehouse complex. Dull orange lights hung from the corners of buildings in halos of mist. The ocean was nearby, though he couldn't see it. He could smell the salt in the air and hear the not-so-distant sound of compressed surf crunching against a wharf. This was an old complex. Rust rotted through the walls of the buildings. Some were missing whole panels.
The limo drove away, leaving him alone. For a moment, there was a tightness in his chest. Anxiety. He didn’t have a gun. He wasn’t armed but that was unavoidable. He pushed it away. Calculated the odds. It was unlikely they brought him this far just to kill him. Unlikely, but not impossible. He pushed the thought away again. You never knew for sure when dealing with the Mafia. Before anxiety consumed him, a door opened. Twenty feet away, a large man wearing a suit stepped out of the darkness and motioned him to come forward. Karsen did not feel better.
The man searched Karsen, patting him down. Karsen didn't object. When the man was satisfied, he waved Jude through the doorway. Neither of them spoke.
Karsen moved cautiously into the old warehouse. It was a huge empty place. Dim light filtered in from broken windows high above. Deep shadows hung like curtains through cavernous space. Karsen lit a cigarette and walked, kept walking towards the center of the warehouse. Finally, seeing no objective and hearing the door crash closed behind him, he stopped. In a dim pool of light drizzling in from a broken window high above.
Footsteps echoed out of the shadows. Coming towards him. Gradually a man emerged from the gloom. He stopped a few feet from Jude. The man was in his late fifties or early sixties. Obviously Italian. His hair was steel grey and his manner was one that assumed authority.
Jude stared at Frank “The Ax” Azeglio. He took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled softly. Frank spoke.
“Mr. Karsen.”
“Yeah.”
“Put out your cigarette. My sinuses...”
“Oh. Sorry.” Jude dropped the smoke and crushed it with his shoe.
“Thank you. And thank you for coming.”
“Sure.”
“I have a job for you, Mr. Karsen.” With gloved hands, Frank the Ax passed a manila envelope to Karsen.
“Family member?” asked Jude.
“No.”
“One of the bosses?”
“Is this a quiz show? Open the fucking envelope.” Azeglio pulled out a bottle of nasal spray and took a squirt up each nostril.
Karsen skimmed the information and looked at the photo. A photo of Tiffany Teague. He glanced back up at Azeglio, curiosity on his face.
“This is a teenage girl.”
Frank stared at him. Silent. Jude shot him a small, knowing smile.
“Sure. I'll do it. Any special requests?”
“Make it quick and painless. Make the body disappear.”
Jude nodded and slid the papers back into the envelope. Something was weird about this. There was a reason Frank called him in the middle of the night, flew him across the country. There was a reason they were meeting in this warehouse instead of some back room of a restaurant. Something about this contract was different.
“A mil,” said Jude. “Plus expenses.”
The Ax didn't hesitate or negotiate. “I'll have it wired to your account. Bill me the expenses through our usual contact.”
“You got a deal.” Karsen handed the envelope back to Frank.
“Don't you need this information?”
“I have what I need memorized. I don’t want to carry that file past the TSA.” Karsen turned and walked towards the door. He hadn't gone more than a couple feet before Frank spoke again.
“Mr. Karsen.”
Jude stopped and turned to the mob boss.
“I want you to know why.”
Jude shifted uncomfortably. He was itching to go and he felt the nascent urge to urinate. But it was more than that. Somehow he felt that the longer he stayed, the more...culpable he was. It was an irrational, random thought, but it nagged him. It put an urgency on him.
“That's not necessary. I prefer not to know. To know as little as possible.”
“But I want you to know.”
Jude stood there quietly. He desperately wanted a smoke. Frank “The Ax” began to speak.
“My son Paul. Francis Paul Azeglio Jr, you know I wanted a better life for him. Wanted him to go to college, maybe join the military. I didn't want this life for him. This life that you and I lead. I wanted better for my children. Wasn't that the point of fighting my way out of the gutters and back alleys of Brooklyn? And I did it. I gave my children everything. Paul was raised in luxury. He got an excellent education at a private school. He had all the opportunities of privilege at his fingertips. Opportunities I bled and made others bleed to win for him.
“All I wanted was for him to be a doctor or a stockbroker or even a musician. To have a family and give me grandchildren. I wanted my son to escape this life that I was forced into by simple economics and...certain skills I had that others lacked. You understand me, Mr. Karsen?”
“I don't have children,” Jude regretted it the moment it came out his mouth. Frank's expression clouded and his brow furrowed.
“But I get your point,” Karsen added quickly.
“Every father worth a damn wants to protect his children. Of course, to my son, it seemed like I thought he wasn't up to it, like I thought he wasn't tough enough for the job....” Frank trailed off, staring up at the shattered windows with their rusted frames. “Which, of course, was the absolute truth.”
They were silent. Jude's need to piss was growing stronger. But there was no way to leave this conversation. Not until Frank the Ax was done. Was this a confession wondered Jude? Karsen suspected Frank was probably a Catholic. How did he suddenly become this man's priest?
Frank finally broke the silence. “Did your father respect you?”
Ahh jeez, thought Jude, “I broke his jaw when I was sixteen. After that it didn't matter.”
“Bullshit. It always matters. I never even knew my father and I still wonder what he would've thought of me, to this very day. But you took respect from your dad the day you cracked his face.”
“I don't know. I didn't see him much after that.”
“Right...right,” Frank sighed. “Paul wanted my respect. He wanted to impress me, not just as a son or even as a man, he wanted my respect as a gangster. He coulda done anything and I woulda been proud of him. But he wanted to be good, be great at what I was great at. You understand?”
“I think so.”
“This kid...this right side of the tracks, white kid who never had to fight in his life, decided he was smart enough to do a major job, like it was some movie or one of these cable TV shows. He stole a container full of flatscreen TVs and tried to fence. He wanted to bring down a big score, just like the stories he'd heard his old man tell the boys, when he shoulda been in bed at night...”
“He got caught.”
“Of course he got caught. Grand Theft Auto was a video game to him. To me, it was a way of life.” Frank muttered something under his breath that Jude didn't make out.
“What?”
“Nothing. Because Paul went across state lines it was a Federal Crime. Ahh, that shouldn't have mattered. I got the best lawyers, greased the skids with the Judge and the prosecutor. They offered a decent deal, but not enough. I didn't want my boy to do a day inside. So it went to trial. Still shouldn't have been a problem. I hired one of those fancy jury consultant companies and wired the jury...but one slipped by. One man named Edward Teague. Real Dudley do-right. From my man inside, he tells me this Edward Teague bullied this jury, harassed this jury, and wore them out by dragging it on for days so they finally gave in and convicted. They didn't want to convict. But this guy...this guy...he was the foreman and he all but forced them...”
Something didn't ring true about this story, but Jude wasn't about to question a man nicked-named 'The Ax'.
“Tough break.”
“So my sweetheart baby boy, my only son...went to the Federal Pen. God, the way he acted, like it was a badge of honor, like I should be proud of him. I told him-”
Frank stopped, his voice catching as the memory overcame him. He composed himself and wiped a tear, passing it off as rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“I told him. Keep your head down. Do your time quietly and he'd be taken care of. Mob guys can be very safe inside. But he... he still had something to prove...”
Another tear slid silently down the mafia don's cheeks. Jude wanted desperately to leave. But he felt he had to say something at this point.
“He's dead.”
“I got the guys that did him. I got them already.” Frank wiped the tears from his face and his manner changed. As he spoke, a slow rage filled his voice. “Now. Now I want Edward Teague. Juror number nine. I want him to suffer like I do. To live without his precious child, his daughter that he dotes on, that he loves. I want to rip her out of his arms.” His voice seethed with hatred.
“I want him to hurt...you understand me? I want him to have this hole in his heart. This ache, this, this horrible, empty, loss torn into his soul.”
Frank stepped closer to Jude, until he was so near Jude could smell the faint medicinal scent of nasal spray on the man's breath. He was so uncomfortable that he wanted to burst out laughing, but knew that would mean his instant death. Not figuratively. Frank, in this moment, would kill him for disrespect. It was the thought of his own face being bludgeoned that drove the amusement away.
Brutality filled Azeglio's voice, “I want to take his daughter from him and I want him to live the rest of his life never knowing what happened to her.”
The cold hatred that burned out of the man was awful in its intensity. His eyes cut into Jude's with the horror of emptiness. Without another word, Frank turned and walked back into the darkness.

Prologue
As the end of autumn approached, the chill of morning and evening began to cut through like a hunting knife. Through the tanker's windshield, the driver could see a woman wearing a knitted scarf and a blanket on her shoulders. She had sat down in the middle of the road and was howling long and heart-wrenching like a lament. Passers-by looked at her with horror, surprise, or contempt. When a lady in a fur coat approached her to inquire, the unfortunate woman began to roll on the ground, thrashing about like a rolling log heading down the valley, and screaming with even greater force and deeper sorrow, so loud that it could be heard all the way to the shire, after which she stopped in a sob, crying quietly like the water of a lowland spring. She was Uncle Jim's eldest daughter.
Part I
Mr. and Mrs. Axelton were two retirees with charitable souls. They had the sign of charity burning on the soles of their dusty, second-hand shoes, laced up with shoelaces they got from the thrift store. They brought a bag of beans for the dog, bananas for the children, bread, bologna, and mustard for the homeless - lost souls from the outskirts of the city. They entered the basement of an abandoned building through labyrinthine paths surrounded by plywood and wrought iron fences. The building was marked with a red dot.
Around an improvised brick stove, illegally connected to the neighbourhood’s electricity network, sat Uncle Jim, Melissa, the children, and Baxter, opening cans of food received from a philanthropic organization. Baxter was a small mongrel with blue-blooded hunting dog lineage, who always hovered around Jim and helped him beg. Mrs. Axelton felt more compassion for the dog than for the family without a penny.
Jim spent his days in front of the Metropolitan Cathedral with Googie Gums, Mr. Blondey, Fane Fairfax, and Tane Cuthbert. They lived as best they could. On the drier days, they humbly lined up behind the priests, praying for them to give them something from the charity box. In the evenings, they opened a cheap two-litter bottle of beer, played backgammon, talked about the fate of the country, football, and the apocalypse.
One spring afternoon, a benevolent gentleman took Jim aside, treated him royally, and offered him an impossible-to-refuse deal. He handed him two thousand five hundred lei in cash, for which all he had to do was sign some blank documents. At that time, it was a good sum of money. Jim thought that luck had fallen upon him like a huge wheel of cheese, so he immediately accepted, without hesitation. With the money, he bought new clothes for Melissa, notebooks for the children, food, and drink in abundance.
At the beginning of the summer, a conflict erupted with Mr. Axelton over such an absurd issue that it would make customers of the "Tancredi Kingsley Jr." brewery doubt the honesty of the storyteller. Mrs. Axelton, a sensitive and volunteer person, was involved in a campaign to save stray dogs who, without the dedication of people like her, would have ended up in miserable shelters on the outskirts of the city. Those who were up for adoption were taken off the streets, washed, vaccinated, and sent to their new owners.
Jane, a neighbour from the ghetto, had told Jim one evening while gossiping on the roadside that significant profits could be made from selling animals. Therefore, seeing the strange pensioner walking through the neighbourhood week after week taking care of stray dogs, the idea arose in his mind that these actions could only have mercantile and hidden purposes, from which he was unfairly excluded from sharing the profits.
Despite Axelton's explanation, treating him to a sausage roll and a coffee from the vending machine, Jim remained unchanged in his opinions, considering his neighbour guilty of greed. When he saw him coming out of the building or on his way to the grocery store, he shouted at him from the other side of the street to demand an explanation and followed him grumpily like an unhappy landlord who had not been paid rent for a long time. He had become a real nuisance on the head of our unfortunate citizen, who now found himself forced to make unimaginable detours from the exit of the building to the bus station just to avoid the annoying neighbour with whom he did not want to continue the confrontation.
Part II
Fortunately, an unexpected twist of fate spared Mr. Axelton from a steep climb up the confrontation ladder when Jim was unexpectedly summoned to the station by a local police officer. It turns out he had signed a mortgage without any collateral which he had no chance of repaying in this lifetime. He was charged with fraud and sent to the White Gate prison for five years. No one visited him. When he was released, after two and a half years of serving, he limped and had only a few teeth left in his mouth. It was as if he had aged ten years.
Meanwhile, Melissa had coupled up with Fane and had a child with him. They moved together to the Hopeless Heights, a neighbourhood built specifically for needy people, and Jim's children were sent to an orphanage. Baxter was taken in by a kind-hearted nobleman who loved animals and owned a seafood restaurant, entrusting him to a mute maid who walked him around the blocks three times a day. Sometimes, on summer days, dressed in a bathrobe and a pair of flip-flops, Sir. Hatchet Jenkins would come out with two other small dogs as big as cats who walked swaying like wind-up toys. He walked the streets like a traveling circus performer, but if anyone dared to mock him, he became so furious that he turned into a steam boiler, blowing heat through his nostrils and obscenities at his enemy, threatening to punch them, showing them the cane he would strike his heels with.
Uncle Jim first moved in front of St. Nicholas Church, where Father Murphy O'Malley served. He was a small man, always carrying a leather briefcase like a spy movie security agent, had a carefully groomed moustache, a gold watch and ring, and patent leather shoes. Everyone said he had the gift. He came to church in a luxury car. When he opened the door, he was greeted by a multitude of beggars, some of whom had come from neighbouring quarters, trying to kiss his hand and ask for coins. Jim didn't last long there, the competition was too high.
Lately, he had been experiencing more frequent headaches. He walked with a cane down the narrow street, swaying in the wind like a turnip pulled from the ground. I didn't think he would last much longer, but Uncle Jim had a survival instinct that most mortals lack. He stopped first at Mr. Axelton's, with whom he had made amends in the meantime, and asked for a pair of boots for the snowy weather and a packet of aspirin for his headache. He found an old fur hat with ears that had been thrown away and drank a cup of mulled wine, given as charity for the souls of the dead. Then, he found shelter in a cave under the ruins of an abandoned manor.
In the morning, he emerged from the ground like a contemporary Lazarus and sat next to the all-night convenience store near the Agriculture Department. On his way out, the kindest customers would always leave him something: a roll, a coin with the king's face on it, half a salami stick, a pair of socks, a cube of melted cheese, or a bottle of curdled milk. He had a yellow plastic bag in which he loaded all of his products. In the evening, when he returned to his lair, it was always full of wonders.
Epilogue
When spring arrived, Jim began to bloom like snowdrops. His teeth grew anew, made of copper, his hair turned green like grass, his eyes started to distinguish details with the precision of an eagle, his skin became as smooth as that of young boys, his arms became steel, his forehead raised, his thoughts became clear, and his vision became as clear as that of great wise men. It was rumoured that he was making so much money that he could move to a hotel. The last time I saw him was on a foggy April morning. He got into a taxi and disappeared into the smoke of history.

I have this recurring nightmare. I attend this school where odd things happen. In this school, there are people I’ve never met before. Classes I’ve never taken.
Every time I have this dream, I enter a classroom that is listed on my class schedule, and the teacher yells at me for not showing up for weeks or even months. The teacher embarrasses me in front of the class and makes me do work that I didn’t even study for.
I guess it’s not the SCARIEST thing someone can dream about, but being forced to do a mountain of missed classwork is horrible. It also feels embarrassing being humiliated in front of this made-up class. It always feels too real.
I also get variations of this nightmare. Sometimes I dream that I’m running through the halls of the school trying to find where a class is. Then, by the time I find the classroom with the right room number, it’s too late, class is over. Detention.
I’ve had these types of dreams so many times that it feels like I’m enrolled in a completely different school in my mind when I’m asleep. I even have a mental image of what the school looks like from the outside after all those times I’ve been in recess or in the parking lot in other dreams.
Sometimes it’s a class with a teacher from an earlier dream, other times it’s completely different.
I figured these dreams were based on past experiences from elementary, middle, and high school that manifest themselves into vivid simulations from the back of my mind. But then three days ago I found out that it was a lot more than that.
My friend Santiago and I ride motorcycles together when the weather is nice. For weeks we were planning on going to this huge motorcycle meetup together. Before the meetup started, we wanted to rendezvous at his house and then ride our motorcycles to the spot together.
I rode my motorcycle from my house to his using my GPS. I’ve never been to his house before. He lived about thirty-five minutes away from me in a town I’ve passed by but never visited. As soon as I got to his house, Santiago was already turning on his motorcycle in front of his garage.
“Hey man, how’ve you been?” I spoke.
“Good, and you?” he replied.
“Great. I love this weather. You ready to go?”
“Hold on, let me put my dogs inside”.
Once we were all set to go, Santiago rode his motorcycle in front of me as I followed. He knew his way around to get us out of the neighborhood and back on the main road.
Now here’s where things get weird. Between the cluster of suburban neighborhood houses there was a long building that broke the pattern. I saw it in the distance as Santiago and I rode closer. The building was sitting on a hill and just looked unnatural in its place.
As we got past each stop sign and rode closer, the building strangely kept looking more and more familiar. I kept my bike going at a decent speed of 20 miles per hour. I intended to look at this building closely and drove slowly
Then, Santiago and I passed by the front of the building. I constantly turned my head to look at it, then to the road so I didn’t fall or crash. But once we were right in front of it, I just stared. I realized it when I saw the main doors.
It was... just like in my dreams. A long one-story building sitting on top of a grassy green hill. The same distinct main entrance doors. A red and yellow playground on the side of the building. A medium sized parking lot.
There was something so liminal about this building. Almost like those liminal spaces pictures that you see everywhere online. The building did not look real, but it was there right in front of me.
Once I turned my head back to the road, we reached the next stop sign and I nearly bumped tires with Santiago’s bike. Then, eventually, Santiago and I got farther, and farther away.
The rest of the day went well. We went to the meetup, saw a bunch of cool motorcycles, ate at a restaurant in the area, then parted ways and headed home. I had almost forgotten about the building until I rode home on my motorcycle and had time to think about it.
I thought, “What was that place? A school? Why did it look almost the exact same as that school that I see in my dreams? Have I been there before? No, that can’t be. I’ve never visited such a specific neighborhood before. There’s no way I’ve seen this building in my life. It’s just not possible for this dream school to be real.
Last night, I dreamed of the school again. It started off with me looking at the time. It was noon and I was just arriving to school. I was walking towards the entrance in a hurry. I entered the building, and the students were walking in the halls as usual.
I checked my schedule to see where I had to go next. In the list of unintelligible writing, I somehow deduced that I had to go to pottery class. I walked in an aimless direction until I reached a small classroom.
An old man with white hair and glasses looked at me angrily as I took my seat. I always hated old grumpy teachers. This guy was no different
“WHERE have YOU been. What, you don’t think this class is IMPORTANT? You haven’t even started on the first project and we’re already on PROJECT FOUR.”
As always, I just sit there, confused and ashamed. The entire class giggling or shaking their heads in disappointment. The teacher gave me the angriest face as his right hand shook while holding a small pot. Right before the dream ended, I saw the pot leave his hand and soar in my direction.
I woke up not knowing if I was still dreaming or not. Dazed, I had to remind myself that it was only a dream. That dream was extremely vivid. Moreso than the others because the school felt all too real. It was like I was there. The similarities between the dream school and the real building I saw were uncanny. Something made me want to investigate it further.
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I had Google Maps pulled up on my phone. I was looking at Santiago’s address while lying in bed. I knew the building should be around his house, maybe about five or six blocks away. Since the meetup spot was more east, I tapped and dragged the map to the right slowly.
It took only seconds until I found the long building. In this top-down view, I saw how it broke the pattern from the rest of the houses. I tapped it to see if I could get more info on it. Strangely, Google Maps did not have this building listed as anything. It just showed the address as if it were another house.
Then I went into street view mode to get a look at it from street level. “Oh god...” I thought to myself. It looked the exact same as the school I visited in my dreams. This can’t be a coincidence. I must see it for myself.
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UPDATE
It’s been a week and one day since I passed the building on my bike. It was Monday now. Curiosity got the better of me as I was interested in seeing the interior of the building.
The morning was breezy and chilly with cloudy skies. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I was driving in my car to a school I saw in my dreams. It didn’t take too long to arrive since there was less traffic in the morning. It was almost 8 AM when I arrived at the parking lot of the school and there were a couple of other cars parked there. “Last time it was empty. There should be people inside” I thought.
At first, my plan was that I wasn’t going to enter. I was just going to look through the windows on the doors. Just to see what the inside looked like. This place seemed like a school for small children that I had no business entering.
I walked to the entrance with the glass doors. Honestly, I felt like a creep, but I really wanted to look inside, while hoping there wasn’t a cop around being suspicious of me.
I put my forehead on the glass of the door, with my hands covering the sides of my face to see better. As soon as I got close enough to the glass, I saw nothing but heard everything. With my eyes, I saw an empty hall. With my ears, I heard hundreds of voices.
“Wait... where are these noises coming from?” I thought as I kept looking around. These sounds were so audible that it sounded like people were on the other side of the door. Yet, I didn’t see anyone. Just a long hallway with the lights off. There were doors on the sides. All closed. There was even debris on the floor. The place looked ruined and abandoned. Yet, the sound of walking, shuffling, talking, and shouting were still audible.
It was all so spooky. I felt like my mind was playing tricks on me. Something inside me begged me to open the doors and walk around. Was that the right thing to do? This was all unnerving and mysterious and I felt like I had to go inside. At least to just walk a couple of feet.
Again, I looked around behind me to see if anyone was looking. While my head was turned toward the outside, I slowly opened the doors and entered when there was enough space to get in. As soon as I was in, I turned my head forward again and I did not expect to see what was in front of me.
Like magic, the once empty hall was now sprawling with people. Hundreds of them appeared seemingly out of thin air. The lights were on, the floor was clean, and people were going in and out of classrooms. I couldn’t tell what age they were. They all looked somewhere between middle and high school.
“What the fuck. Where am I?” I whispered. I looked down at my hands to make sure this wasn’t one of those dreams. I opened and closed my fists. I pinched myself and it hurt. Sure enough, it was real life.
I stood in that same spot for about a minute just watching everyone walk. When that minute was up, I realized there were less and less people out in the hallway. I saw the last few hurrying to where they needed to be as the last classroom door closed.
In just a few moments, I was alone in the hallway with the buzz of the fluorescent lights. The walls were half white at the bottom, and half red at the top. It looked so liminal like the hallways in my dreams. This wasn’t a dream, though.
I began walking down the hall. I passed by classrooms that had small square windows on the doors that I couldn’t see through.
It was almost silent now with no noise besides my footsteps. I checked my phone for the time. It was 8:15AM. I noticed I didn’t have signal at all. “What? ...why don’t I have service?” I thought to myself.
Once I got to the end of the hallway, I saw that it split into two other hallways. I looked deep into each hallway and they both looked the same. Not knowing where to go I thought, “Okay. That’s enough. Time to leave.”
I did a 180 degree turn to go back the way I came. I didn’t even take a third step when I heard a door open intensely and a harsh voice say “oh THERE he is. OUT in the HALLS and not in CLASS. HEY. YOUNG MAN. You better get in this classroom RIGHT NOW.”
I was startled by that voice. It broke the silence so abruptly that I jumped. It was a fat old lady with a wrinkled and scrunched face. She had curly gray hair and glasses.
I just stared at her for a moment. Then I tried to speak, “... I- I'm sorry, I’m uh... not-”
“YOU HAVEN’T SHOWED UP TO A SINGLE CLASS. Do you have ANY idea how much TROUBLE YOU’RE IN?” she boomed.
I sounded like a mouse compared to her. “L-look I... I think you uh... got the wrong per-”
“GET IN HERE.” she grew angrier. “GET IN THIS CLASSROOM RIGHT NOW.”
I stopped my little muttering and began to walk backwards. The lady then vigorously swung open the classroom door so hard it hit the wall as she speed-walked in my direction with such an aggravated look on her face.
Now, I’m not short, but I’m also not tall. I’m 5’8”. But compared to this lady, she made me look like a third grader. She was gigantic. Probably more than 7 feet tall.
I didn’t know what she was going to do. I walked backwards first and then tried turning around. Before I could make a complete turn, I felt a strong grip on my wrist and my motion stopped completely. I looked down at my wrist and saw a fat hand around it. I struggled hard to break free from the grasp, but I was swiftly pulled in the old lady’s direction.
No matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t break away. The old lady was dragging me toward the classroom.
“WHAT... THE HELL. HEY. ERGHHH LET GO OF ME!” I yelled.
“YOU DAMN TROUBLESOME KID. GO TO YOUR SEAT!” She pulled me up into the air, suspended by my shirt, and threw me into the classroom.
I hit the floor with a hard thud. My elbow and knees took the most impact as I was slow to get up. Pain hit my legs hard as I got back on my two feet and heard the door shut firmly.
The old lady that just got done manhandling me took a heavy sigh and said, “OKAY. Now we have a full class. That makes Miss Howler happy.” She took a seat at the big desk in the front. After sitting down, she looked over at me with an angry and confused expression.
“Why are you still standing there? Get to YOUR SEAT.”
I was frozen but my eyes darted around the room. I looked at the students. The class was indeed full. I looked at their faces and they were all grinning and looking straight.
My observation of the class was interrupted by the loud slam of Miss Howler’s fat fist on her desk.
“I SAID GO TO YOUR SEAT. RIGHT NOW!!!” she yelled.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I make a run for it? Or should I just sit like the teacher said and just get it over with? I didn’t want to risk being thrown again so I went to the back of the classroom where I saw an empty seat. I sat down and still couldn’t believe what was going on. This felt like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
I looked around me. Everyone was still looking straight forward. Miss Howler was sitting at her desk again sorting some papers.
“How did I get myself into this mess? And how long will this all take?” I thought. Then, Miss Howler got up from her desk and walked over to the first student sitting in the front row. From where I was, I could see she was passing a packet of papers to each student.
“OKAY. Take one and pass it backwards, please. What you will all receive momentarily is our next assignment. Read through it carefully” she said.
The student sitting in front of me passed a packet over his shoulder for me to grab.
“Surely, I won’t be needing this” I thought while placing it on my desk. I read the words at the top.
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY 101 – ASSIGNMENT 8
The title was the only thing I understood. The rest of the page was just a bunch of science jargon. The questions were all based on equations with more letters than numbers.
“Like always, have this completed by the end of the week. Late work WILL NOT give you full credit... OHHH... SPEAKING of LATE WORK” Howler turned around and grabbed something beneath her desk. When she turned back around, she looked at me over the top of her glasses.
“YOU. Young man. Come here. Now.” Howler pointed at me and wriggled her finger, motioning for me to come up to the front of the class.
Nervously, I got up and walked past the many students that were still smiling and looking forward. I don’t think I ever saw them blink. When I got to Howler’s desk, she had a neat stack of papers probably about a foot high.
“Take your work and SIT down,” said Howler while glaring at me. Before anything else I grabbed the packet on the top of the stack. I looked at the top, ORGANIC CHEMISTRY LESSONS 1-127. I quickly turned around and walked back towards my seat before Howler slammed her fist again.
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
I turned around slowly and nervously. “Wh- what?”
“WHY DID YOU ONLY TAKE THE ONE? YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!?
“Umm... no. Look, I’m not supposed to be here” I said. “How DARE YOU. COME TAKE THE REST OF YOUR WORK,” she yelled. “I... okay,” I said as I walked back. I didn’t know that the whole stack was for me. As I reached for the stack, my vision went all white.
KABWOOSH
In an instant, white papers flew everywhere around me like a hurricane. Howler had bashed the stack with the back of her fat hand so hard that none of them were on the desk anymore. As the last page hit the floor she said, “You have SOME NERVE trying to joke around with ME. YOU’VE GOT SOME NERVE. Now PICK IT UP”.
I thought, “there’s no way I’m going to pick all of this up. This is ridiculous. I must leave. I can make a run for it from here”.
Before picking up a single page, I rushed to the door, pulled on the knob violently and turned it both ways. Sadly, it wouldn’t give. It was locked from the inside. Once I realized this, I felt something towering over me from behind. A shadow loomed over the door.
“Where do you think YOU’RE GOING? I cannot BELIEVE THIS. IN ALL MY YEARS YOU ARE THE WORST”.
I was still facing the door. Disappointed that I couldn’t leave. Suddenly, my neck tightened, and I felt like I was choking. I was pulled backwards. My shirt's collar fell tight as I realized I was being pulled by the back of my collar.
Then I was airborne and fell onto the bed of papers on the floor.
“I SAID PICK THEM UP. I WON’T ASK YOU AGAIN. DO IT NOW!!!!!!” Howler was the angriest she’d ever been so far.
I had no other choice but to pick them up and put them back in a stack. As I was placing them in a pile, I saw bright red dot appear on the white of a page. “Blood?” I thought. Then a few seconds later another drop. I placed my hand on my cheek, and it stung. My fingers were red from touching it. When Howler bashed the paper stack, I must have gotten a paper cut.
Once I was done stacking, I lifted it up and went to my seat. Then Howler began teaching. I can’t remember a single word she said while teaching. It was all chemistry, and I didn’t know a thing about it. All I knew was that I had to get out of there. I needed a reason.
But then she said, “Alright. Any questions?”
I shot my hand up before any of the five other students could. As soon as I did, Howler looked at me and said, “Yes, YOU.”
“Uh... may I use the bathroo-”
“NO. PAY ATTENTION.”
“Please. I just need some paper for this cut on my face.”
She glared at me so hard. I was starting to regret even asking. It felt like I made a huge mistake for even raising my hand at all.
To my surprise she said, “FINE. But don’t think for a SECOND that I’m just going to let you WALK OUT OF HERE by yourself. I’m NOT stupid.”
She looked at the student right in front of her. “James. Please escort your fellow student to the restroom.”
I immediately got up and walked towards the front. James stood up and turned to me. He had short blond hair, green eyes, and was still smiling even when looking at me. “Yes ma’am.” He said in a proud voice. James walked in front of me.
Before we got to the door, I froze as we heard, “LISTEN. You BETTER be back here in TWO MINUTES. BOTH OF YOU. DO NOT waste my time. GO.”
With that, James turned the doorknob. Surprisingly, it opened. How did it open so easily for him?
James and I exited the classroom. Just being out of it felt like freedom. My cut was still dripping blood. I then spoke, “Hey James. What is this place? What’s going on?”
“This is our school. Where have you been this whole time?” He replied. He would not stop smiling.
“What do you mean?” I said, “I’ve never been inside this school before.”
He said, “Yes you have.”
When we got to the bathroom, I quickly got some paper towels and placed them on my cheek. James then said, “Okay. Let’s go back now” as he turned around and headed for the door.
My stomach ached at the thought of going back into that classroom. I was already through with being there. “Hey James, you go on ahead I’ll be in the classroom soon,” I said while opening a stall door.
James stopped before opening the door. “I don’t think we should keep Miss Howler waiting any longer,”
I entered the stall and said, “I really, really, have to use the toilet pretty badly. It’s going to take a while. Please, go ahead and return. I’ll take the blame, James”. With that, I closed the stall door and locked it.
I waited for a response. There was no sound coming from the outside of the stall. James had gone quiet. I was looking down in the opening of the stall under the door. These two neat shoes appeared. I was starting to get creeped out. “Umm... James?” I spoke.
Then, suddenly, blond hair was appearing under the stall door slowly. The neat shoes were still there and hadn’t moved. I kept my eyes on the blond hair as it moved down ever so slightly. I saw a forehead, then eyebrows, then green eyes.
“What the fuck...” I whispered.
It was James’ head. It was upside down. His head kept lowering slowly as his nose was now visible. Then his mouth was coming into full view. He was grinning cheek to cheek like always. I was about to scream my lungs out.
Then he said, “It’s time to go back”.
I will end it here for now. There’s so much more to this occurrence than I can write in one post. I will continue in the next one.

By user request, I'm recreating this thread in an effort to allow /norfolk's members to update & improve the information. Please comment as needed and I'll do my best to revise the main text as quickly as I can. Thanks!
Welcome to /Norfolk! Our subreddit gets a lot of questions about relocating to the area, so be sure to search the subreddit to see if your specific questions have already been answered.
Here's a quick list of the top tips and most frequently repeated advice about moving to the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area:

• Live on the same side of the water as you work. Our many bridges, tunnels and bridge-tunnels frequently experience heavy traffic volume and become chokepoints even on days without incidents or accidents. Commuting from the Southside (Norfolk/Virginia Beach) to the Peninsula (Hampton, Newport News, Williamsburg) and vice versa is not recommended. Additionally, many water crossings are now or will eventually be tolled. Get an EZ-Pass to pay the lowest rate.
  
• This area floods. Look at FEMA flood maps for the area you want to move to and be aware of possibly needing flood insurance. Similarly, our area occasionally experiences hurricanes. Know your Evacuation Zone and learn more about Hurricane Preparations. Also check out the jet noise map (PDF warning) (credit to NotEntirelyUnlike)
  
• Hampton Roads has a lot to offer. Obviously there is the beach. But there is also a surprisingly good and growing food & craft beer scene. A great many museums and activities. And an easy drive to the mountains and other major cities. Career wise the medical center is growing year over year, and is only expected to continue expanding into a major hub for the region. Norfolk offers a slightly more urban feel, with lots of great food joints and cultural amenities, all while being walking and bike friendly. Virginia Beach is more suburban in feel, and has a large amount of great neighborhoods at a decent price not too far from the beach. Chesapeake is even more suburban, but more affordable. Suffolk is growing, but still by all rights could be considered mostly rural. (credit to Here4thebeer3232)
  
• Check crime reports. Crime can happen anywhere but some areas see more reported incidents than others. Great areas can be adjacent to bad neighborhoods, sometimes separated only by a road or a few blocks. When buying or renting a residence, try to visit the area at different times of day and strike up conversations with locals to get a feel for the location. Use Norfolk's Crime Mapping tool to view crime reports and statistics.
  
• Norfolk Neighborhoods of Note
  

  Chelsea/West Ghent: Small former industrial area that is now home to 2 top tier Breweries and is a central part of the Elizabeth River Bike Trail. Has a growing culinary scene. Limited residential options. Colonial Place: Upscale residential neighborhood with waterside access. Flooding is a concern in this area, but neighborhoods are family friendly and homes are gorgeous. Downtown: the urban center of our region. Growing residential population to match established barestaurant, entertainment and financial scenes. East Beach: Newly constructed high end beach condos right on the Chesapeake Bay. Has abundant docking for boats, fishing holes, and beach access. A more quiet and older community. Fort Norfolk: Growing area adjacent to EVMS and Sentara Medical Center. The unofficial midtown of Norfolk, that is slowly becoming a part of the city skyline. Floods often. Freemason: straight-laced & upscale enclave adjacent to downtown and built around cobblestone streets. Ghent: trendy, historic and filled to the brim with character, culture and delicious cuisine. The neighborhood’s main thoroughfare, Colley Avenue, and adjacent 21st and 22nd streets are lined with eclectic eateries, unique shops, art galleries and antique stores. Larchmont: High end homes in a family friendly neighborhood. Adjacent to ODU, but without the noise, Larchmont is home to incredible homes in a very green and quiet part of the city. Also has waterside access. Oceanview: Affordable community right on the beach. Still considered more working class, it is slowly looking to compete with the Virginia Beach Oceanfront as a tourist attraction. Home to the Bold Mariner Brewery and Jessy's Taqueria NEON District: Growing Arts district, adjacent to downtown. Home to a variety of arts shops and artisan restaurants, as well as the Chrysler Museum of Art and the Harrison Opera house. Park Place: Park Place is a historic neighborhood centrally located to the north of Downtown Norfolk. Park Place offers multimodal access to health and fitness facilities, dining, coffee shops, retail, visual art, live music, and community for people from all walks of life. This historic residential neighborhood is a diverse and inclusive community, and is comprised of a mix of single detached houses, condos, luxury, market rate, and affordable rentals homes and apartments. Located between 23rd street and 38th street, and between Granby street on the east, and Colley ave on the west, the Park Place area neighborhood includes two business districts, the 35th Street Business District and the Railroad District, and is walkable to the North Colley, Ghent, and Riverview business districts. Railroad District: Rapidly growing former warehouse district located between Ghent and Park place. Home to the majority of Breweries in the city. While could be considered gentrified, is still home to novel cultural centers such as 757 Makerspace and Nomads Clothing Exchange. Riverview: Immediately adjacent to the Virginia Zoo and Lafayette Park. With waterside access and a small commercial corridor, Riverview is a good area for all ages. Also home to MJs Tavern, the largest LGBT bar in the metropolitan area. St Paul's District: Under construction West Ocean View: Turns into a parking lot for HRBT traffic every time the base lets out. Willoughby Spit: Quiet residential sandbar. Remains somewhat isolated from HRBT traffic, but offers a commanding presence along the Chesapeake Bay.
  

• /VirginiaBeach Neighborhoods of Note
  

  Chesapeake/Chic's Beach: "locals only" beachside community. Oceanfront: touristy stretch of beach + boardwalk, hotels, and trinket shops. Town Center: VB's Central Business District including Pembroke Mall and other high-end shopping, dining, and entertainment.
  

• Portsmouth Neighborhoods of Note
  

  Olde Towne: boasts the largest collection of period homes between Charleston, South Carolina and Alexandria, Virginia. Walkable, lots of shops and restaurants, close to the riverfront, ferry access to downtown Norfolk. (credit to BrobaFat)
  

• Odds & ends
  

  • Norfolk's hardiness zone is 8a, for any gardeners out there. A bit further west, and you're in 7b.
  • The large military presence means a lot of traffic around 4pm. High school gets out around 2, middle school around 3.
  • There are slow cargo trains going to and from the port. When scoping out neighborhoods, check for tracks nearby, and if there are any bridges or underpasses to help bypass a stopped cargo train. Example: Taussig and Granby, near the post office? If you hear a train, pray that it's a short one, because I haven't found a shortcut there yet.
  • This WeatherSpark page has some useful data on the local climate for anyone particularly interested in our weather patterns. TL;DR, it doesn't really freeze here, but we still get snow every few years. (credit to sin-so-fit)

Please also view the 2021 EDITION for additional context & information, especially in the comments.

Red Velvet, a renowned name in the hospitality industry, proudly stands as the top 4-star hotel in Patna. Located in the heart of the city, Red Velvet offers a perfect blend of luxury, comfort, and convenience for its guests. With its strategic location Red Velvet is the top hotel near the railway station and a host of exceptional amenities including meeting and banquet facilities, a top-notch restaurant, and proximity to Patna Junction, Red Velvet has earned its reputation as the premier choice for travelers seeking a memorable stay in hotel near Patna Junction. Being the top hotel in Patna, Red Velvet redefines luxury with its exquisite accommodations that cater to the discerning needs of its guests. The hotel offers a range of elegantly appointed rooms and suites, each designed to provide the utmost comfort and relaxation. Every detail has been carefully curated, from the plush bedding and contemporary furnishings to the modern amenities and personalized services. Whether you are a business traveler or a leisure guest, Red Velvet ensures a truly luxurious experience during your stay.
Visit us: www.redvelvethotel.com
Situated in close proximity to the railway station, Red Velvet enjoys a strategic advantage for travelers. Its location near the railway station makes it easily accessible to both domestic and international guests, saving them time and ensuring a hassle-free arrival and departure experience. Patna Junction, one of the major railway stations in Bihar, is just a short distance away from the hotel, making Red Velvet an ideal choice for those seeking a hotel near Patna Junction.
Recognizing the importance of hosting successful business meetings and events, Red Velvet offers state-of-the-art meeting hall in Patna with top facilities. The hotel features spacious and well-equipped meeting rooms that cater to the needs of modern businesses. With advanced audiovisual equipment, high-speed internet access, and comfortable seating arrangements, Red Velvet ensures a productive and seamless experience for corporate events, conferences, and seminars. The hotel's professional staff is dedicated to providing impeccable service, assisting guests in organizing and executing flawless events.
Visit us: www.redvelvethotel.com
Red Velvet's banquet hall in Patna are the epitome of elegance and grandeur, making them the perfect choice for weddings, receptions, and social gatherings. With their exquisite decor, spacious layouts, and meticulous attention to detail, these banquet halls create a captivating ambiance for any special occasion. The hotel's expert event planning team takes care of every aspect, including decorations, catering, and entertainment, ensuring a truly memorable and unforgettable event for all guests.
Red Velvet takes pride in its culinary offerings, showcasing the rich and diverse flavors of Patna and beyond. The hotel's has best restaurant in Patna offers a gastronomic journey that is sure to tantalize the taste buds of even the most discerning guests. The expert chefs curate a menu that combines local delicacies with international favorites, prepared with the finest ingredients and meticulous attention to flavor and presentation. The restaurant's elegant ambiance, attentive service, and delectable dishes make it a sought-after dining destination for both residents and visitors alike.
Red Velvet places great emphasis on providing impeccable service to its guests. From the moment of arrival until departure, the hotel's dedicated staff ensures that every guest is treated with utmost care and attention. The warm and friendly reception, prompt room service, and personalized concierge assistance are just a few examples of the exceptional service that guests can expect at Red Velvet. The hotel's commitment to attention to detail and guest satisfaction is evident in every aspect of their operations.
Visit us: www.redvelvethotel.com
Address: Ranjan Path, Near RPS More, Bailey Road, Patna – 801503

This sub has been an incredible source of information and inspiration, so I gave myself an hour to write down and share some insights from the recent three-week road trip I’ve had with my partner.
General remarks:
- Our main goal was to enjoy nature, so we were okay with spending absolutely no time on the golden circle or in Reykjavik. Due to the weather, we ended up doing both anyway; but these would be the parts of the trip I would skip first. Coming from continental Europe, we had almost no jetlag and could safely start directly with our journey. With more jet lag, some more time to adapt is definitely a good idea.
- We rented a 2WD campervan from Star Car Rental and spent all but the final night on campsites. Our experience with Star Car was very good. The price was competitive and included unlimited mileage, additional driver and all necessary utensils (chairs, table, cooking stuff). We got picked up from the airport and were ready to go within 15’. When giving back the car, we got driven to our hotel without any inspection (we did have zero excess insurance).
- Mid-May to beginning of June was a very nice time to travel. The days are long (I’ve seen no darkness), almost all camping places are open, but the crowds at the highlights are small – except for the big boys in the south.
- We started our days quite early and therefore typically arrived during the afternoon at the campsites. The kitchen area, showers and laundry spaces were often free to use. Be prepared to go to campsites that have only 2 stoves and 1 shower. During prime time, expect some waiting times.
- We picked up around 100 € worth of cash – two campsites were cash-only, everything else was absolutely card-first / cash-free.
Useful ressources:
- Vedur and Safetravel: This sub is absolutely right. Learn how to read and anticipate the weather before you get there. We were there during two yellow warnings and these things are really no joke. It helps to have plenty of time to spontaneously adapt the schedule. And we’ve seen it all: blizzard in the West, hail up North, storm in the East and sun in the South.
- Google reviews & park4night: These were pretty accurate for the campsites. 4+ stars are no-brainers, 3+ depend on your needs (kitchen, shower, electricity) and less than 3 should be avoided. Also, remember to rate them yourself during/after your trip to increase the statistical significance ;)
- Google Maps/MyMaps: MyMaps was useful during our planning to fill with random highlights (waterfalls, hotpots, hikes, campsites) and to set up a rough itinerary. Google Maps is accurate on paved roads. On gravel roads, expect some significant delays. Maps calculates with 80 km/h, while you will probably never exceed 50 km/h. In the Westfjords, we guess-timated our times with 2 minutes per kilometer on the gravel roads. The Happy Campers Campsite Map as well as the Hot Pot Iceland Map were nice to have in the back-pocket to check with some time to spare whether something is close by.
- Polarsteps: This was a cute little App, which we used to keep family and friends informed. You can add pictures and some text to your highlights. This way, you don’t send the same picture into various chats and there is a location- and time-dependent context.
Cost: This is the per-person cost breakdown for our 21-day trip (20-day camper rental, 1 hotel stay, total 3’500€).
- Rental (zero excess insurance, additional driver): 1’135 €
- Flight (from continental Europe): 700 €
- Activities (Pools, Spas, Horse-riding, Kayak): 300 €
- Camping (pretty consistent 2’000 +- 500 ISK p.P.): 275 €
- Groceries (Bonus, Kronan, Netto): 255 €
- Coffee, Beers, Food in Restaurants: 260 €
- Petrol (420 € in total for roughly 3’600 km): 210 €
- Souvenirs: 180 €
- Ferries (into Westfjords and to Westman Islands): 95 €
- Hotel: 75 €
Highlights:
- Sundlaug and Spas: When camping in small towns, very often there will be a swimming pool close by. They are not expensive (around 1000 ISK pP) and a great way to relax after a long day. Also, it feels nice to take longer, hot showers without knowing people are waiting in line. We decided to go for some smaller premium spas and were very happy with all of them: Krauma was one of our first stops, the Forest Lagoon was incredible during evening hours and GeoSea was also fantastic. Re: nudity. It takes a bit to get used to, but its very refreshing to see this very open approach to nudity in the pools. No one cares, no one watches – just do your thing. It’s cool to see groups of friends at all age groups be so open about it. Certainly very different compared to continental Europe.
- As we had to skip the Eastfjords a bit due to storm, we had some time left at the end. We spent the last 3 nights on the Westman Islands. It was great to leave the car for a longer while and do everything by foot. There are plenty of things to do and the swimming pool is fantastic.
- Mulagljufur: Use Google Maps to find the exact location, as of now, there is no sign along the road. The canyon is very beautiful and we ended up hiking for almost three hours. Couldn’t get enough of the views.
- Glymur: The infamous log wasn’t placed when we were there, but the short hike to the cave and towards the canyon was absolutely worth it.
- Camping highlights: Melanes campsite at Raudasandur beach (Westfjords): incredible scenery, wild drive to get there; Thingeyri campsite (Westfjords): directly at the fjord, fantastic infrastructure (probably the best kitchen we’ve had) and IMHO a great alternative to the Tungudalur campsite in Isafjordur; 66.12 N campsite (near Husavik): insane ocean view, good infrastructure, one of the best sites along the diamond circle; Glamping&Camping (Westmann Islands): beautiful setting, good infrastructure.
Itinerary (Highlights: *, ** or ***)
Day 1: Arrival at KEF during the afternoon in pouring rain, set up campervan, first grocery stops at Bonus and Kronan, Dinner at Issi’s Fish&Chips*, Camp at Hjalli Kjos
Day 2: Glymur hike** (up to river, no log), Krauma Spa**, scenic drive into Snaefellsnes, Camp at Freezer Hostel
Day 3: Check out Snaefellsnes highlights, get to Stykkisholmur in the afternoon, Ferry Baldur to Brjanslaekur, Hellulaug hotpot*, drive to Melanes campsite*** on Raudasandur beach
Day 4: full day at Raudasandur, great hikes, another night at Melanes campsite.
Day 5: Long drive through westfjords. Highlights included the self-service fish station in Talknafjordur (amazing fisk bollur**), Dynjandi waterfall and Sandfell hike. Camping at Thingeyri*, relax in local swimming pool
Day 6: drive to Isafjordur, check out city (kind of underwhelming, but it was a national holiday; the brewery is nice), do some small hikes in the area. Camp at Tungudalur.
Day 7: very long drive out of westfjords towards Varmahlid. Hot dog stop in Holmavik and arrive at Lambeyri campsite (cash only)
Day 8: woke up with dead battery, but got jump start by campsite owner. Horseriding tour at Lytingsstadir* was very nice, drive to Akureyri, visit Forest Lagoon**. It was Saturday night when we visited, upon leaving we had police checking every driver for alcohol – so better hold off the pool-side bar ;) wanted to camp at Vaglaskogur but campsite wasn’t open. Went up until the CJA campsite in Laugar with a late-night stop at Godafoss (around 10pm, were the only people there)
Day 9: check out Myvatn area: Dimmuborgir hike, Hverir, Leirhnjukur hike**. Then continue to Dettifoss and camp at Asbyrgi. Late night hike to Asbyrgi ‘island’*.
Day 10: Hike in Asbyrgi canyon, continue to Husavik, visit GeoSea**, camp at 66.12N***
Day 11: long drive with very strong winds. We had to go back to Akureyri (optician to fix broken glasses), so went through Myvatn again with a quick stop at Grjotagja. Beautiful drive, weather was too bad for Studlagil canyon, so we continued all the way to Borgarfjordur eystri. Crazy winds during the night and we were happy that our car didn’t get blown away.
Day 12: unfortunately, no hikes in this beautiful area. Waited for storm to pass until lunchtime, visited harbor with puffins**, drive to Egilsstadir (hot dog stop), continue to Seydisfjordur (kind of underwhelming town, the drive is gorgeous though) and, due to weather forecast, continue all the way to Djupivogur campsite.
Day 13: Incredible drive from Djupivogur to Höfn, stops at Hvalnes and Jökulsarlon. Hike at Mulagljufur***, camp at Svenifell.
Day 14: early-morning hike in Skaftafell**, continue to Kirjubaersklausur for campsite. Had to skip Fjardrargljufur due to weather, visited local swimming pool.
Day 15: yellow warning again. Continued to Vik for Skool Beans Coffee*, quick stop at Reynisfjara beach (red alert was on, so we didn’t go further than the sign), continue to Skogarfoss and hike part of Fimmvorduhals*, camp in Selfoss – swimming pool was closed unfortunately.
Day 16: Weather forecast was very bad, so we spent the day in Reykjavik. Walked around town, grabbed some coffees and visiting the local Sundhöll*. Camp at Mosskogar** (cash-only)
Day 17: Golden circle: hike at Thingvellir, look at Geysir, skipped Delfoss. Camp in Selfoss again.
Day 18: quick stop at Seljalandsfoss, ferry to Westman islands. Set up camp at Glamping&Camping** for the next 3 nights. Visited Brothers Brewery*.
Day 19: Kayak tour with Kayak-and-Puffins-company***. Visited local swimming pool* (trampoline slide was very nice) and watched a local handball game.
Day 20: Hike along volcanoes and coast**, visit brewery again, go to puffin bay**
Day 21: Ferry back to mainland. Drive back towards KEF. Drop-off campervan and spent night in Konvin Hotel. Early morning shuttle to airport (we arrived about 2h early for our 7 am flight and had plenty of time).
Of course, I’m very happy to answer any questions you might have!
Hope this is helpful to some of you :)

When it comes to finding the perfect hotel near Patna Railway Station, Hotel Bodhi Tree stands out as an exceptional choice. This luxurious hotel not only offers comfortable and stylish accommodations but also provides a safe and welcoming environment for unmarried couples. Moreover, it boasts a state-of-the-art banquet hall, making it an excellent choice for hosting weddings, conferences, and other special events. Hotel Bodhi Tree is the top hotel near Patna Junction, offering easy access to major attractions, shopping centers, and business districts. Its proximity to the airport and railway station adds to its accessibility, making it a convenient choice for both locals and out-of-town guests. The hotel offers a range of well-appointed rooms and suites, designed to provide utmost comfort and luxury. The rooms are tastefully decorated with modern amenities, including flat-screen TVs, high-speed internet, and plush bedding. Unmarried couples can rest assured that their privacy and security are valued at Hotel Bodhi Tree.
Visit us: www.hotelbodhitree.com
Hotel Bodhi Tree boasts a diverse selection of dining options that cater to every palate. From a fine-dining restaurant serving delectable cuisine to a cozy café offering quick bites and refreshing beverages, guests can indulge in a gastronomic experience like no other. The hotel also provides 24-hour room service, ensuring that guests can savor their meals in the comfort of their rooms. Understanding the importance of privacy, Hotel Bodhi Tree ensures a discreet check-in process for unmarried couples. The staff is trained to handle such requests with professionalism and respect, making guests feel comfortable from the moment they arrive.
Hotel Bodhi Tree takes security seriously, implementing stringent measures to ensure the safety of all guests. The hotel is equipped with CCTV cameras, trained security personnel, and restricted access to ensure a secure environment for unmarried couples.
Visit us: www.hotelbodhitree.com
Hotel Bodhi Tree maintains clear and transparent policies regarding unmarried couples, making it easy for guests to understand the rules and regulations. The hotel's website and booking platforms provide detailed information about their policies, which are also communicated during the reservation process.
The banquet hall in Patna at Hotel Bodhi Tree is a stunning venue that exudes grandeur and elegance. With its exquisite décor, high ceilings, and lavish lighting, it sets the perfect tone for any special event. The hall can be customized to suit various themes and preferences, making it ideal for weddings, receptions, and corporate gatherings. The banquet hall is equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, including advanced audiovisual equipment, high-speed internet connectivity, and professional lighting systems. These amenities ensure that every event hosted at Hotel Bodhi Tree's banquet hall is executed flawlessly, leaving a lasting impression on guests.
Hotel Bodhi Tree's experienced culinary team offers an extensive menu selection, ranging from traditional Indian delicacies to international cuisines. Guests can customize their menu to suit their preferences, ensuring a memorable culinary experience for all attendees. The staff is dedicated to providing impeccable service, ensuring that every aspect of the event runs smooth
Visit us: www.hotelbodhitree.com
Address: Jamal Road, Patna-1, Bihar (INDIA)

We are a family of 4 with two young kids, a toddler who’s nearing 3 years old and an infant who is 9 months old. We visited Japan in May of 2023 for 18 nights. We stayed in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka, and took day trips to Nara and Kobe.
Some people might call us crazy for taking an international trip with two small children. But my wife and I, who were avid travelers before we had kids, hadn’t been out of the country since 2019 due to 1) having kids and 2) Covid. We were itching for a trip, so we took the chance. Were there some crazy times? Of course. Was it worth it? Definitely.
I did a lot of research and prep before the trip, but there are always surprises that come up when you have kids. I’ll try to share some of the lessons I learned on the trip.
—Flights—
This was our first time on an airplane with the kids. I was a bit worried beforehand and in retrospect the flights were the worst parts of the trip. The main advice I’d give is do as much as you can to make your flight more tolerable, which no doubt means spending more money on tickets and gear. But it’s worth it.
I considered a few different airlines for this trip: ZipAir, Singapore, ANA, and Japan Airlines. JAL was too expensive. ZipAir was interesting because they provide car seats, you don’t have to take your own. We didn’t rent a car in Japan so we didn’t need our own car seats. I was just worried about racking up extra fees on ZipAir. Singapore and ANA were similar, they both provide bassinets and the price was similar. I ended up going with ANA for two reasons: 1) I had flown ANA on a previous trip and been happy with them and 2) they fly to Haneda instead of Narita, which saves you time getting from the airport to your hotel.
We opted for 3 seats and a bassinet. My infant is big for her age so she barely fit in the bassinet (she’s 21 pounds). But we were glad to have it. I had to call in to ANA customer service which had an hour+ wait time to get the bassinet, but other than that it was no trouble.
Which leads me into probably the most important part of flying with kids on a lengthy flight: get your kids to sleep on the plane. The more they sleep the less likely you are to run into a tantrum or meltdown.
To encourage sleeping we did a few things: 1) Take an overnight flight 2) Get a bassinet for our infant 3) Get a JetKids bed box for our toddler. Our ANA flight from LAX left at 5pm, which allowed time for the dinner service to show up before we put our kids to bed. They set the bassinet up right after you get to cruising altitude, so it’s there the majority of the flight. Our infant rejected it at first but eventually fell asleep.
As far as our toddler sleeping, the JetKids worked well. There was a bit of trouble with it staying in place since we had bulkhead seats, but overall I was happy with it as a bed. I absolutely hate the JetKids a piece of luggage though, it’s not easy to lug around and holds nearly nothing. But it helped our toddler stay asleep most of the flight. You don’t necessarily need a JetKids though, other airline seat bed solutions may work just as well. Just bring something that will help your toddler sleep. If we had to do it again, I think I’d prefer having car seats over both the bassinet and JetKids. That’s probably what we’ll do on the next trip.
There were a few unexpected problems we ran into on the flights. On the first flight, our infant got motion sickness and spit up multiple times. She ruined one of my shirts and my wife’s pants. Not to mention my wife got motion sickness as well so I had to do most of the heavy lifting with the kids alone. It was a sleepless and messy flight.
On our flight home, there was a mechanical issue with the plane. They said we were losing oil. So on a Tokyo to Los Angeles flight we somehow ended up landing In Anchorage, Alaska. It goes without saying this was horrible and the flight home from Anchorage on Alaska Airlines was horrible too. But that’s not really relevant to flying to/from Japan so I’ll leave the details out. We won’t be flying with ANA ever again.
To reiterate, do what you can to make your flight easier. Get the non-stop flight. Get the extra seat. This isn’t the area to be frugal.
—Stroller—
So you survived the flight. How do you get your kids around once you’ve landed? We have two kids so we need a twin stroller right? Wrong. Taking a twin stroller to Japan is a huge mistake, don’t do it.
Most guides will tell you to use a carrier, and if you only have one small infant then that’s likely the way to go. But with two kids we used a travel stroller and carrier combo. At first I expected to only use the carrier and carry the stroller around until we needed it, but I quickly realized that carrying the stroller around all day is a huge pain. We have the Cybex Libelle which is small at 13lbs, but 13lbs is still heavy enough that you don’t want to carry it all day.
So our stroller remained deployed basically all the time. My infant sat in the stroller most of the day, until it was my toddler’s nap time. Then the infant went in the carrier and toddler in the stroller to sleep. It worked well for us.
How did we keep the stroller deployed the whole time? Elevators. Lots of elevators. And occasionally carrying it up and down stairs. The availability of elevators depends on where you are. Of the cities we visited, I’d say Tokyo is the best and Kyoto is the worst for elevator availability.
The wide majority of metro and train stations are going to have elevators. It can be hard to find the right entrance to use to find an elevator, but there is always signage and almost always a map. You may need to walk an extra 5 minutes, or wait in line, or get lost, so always give yourself extra time when catching a train if you are using your stroller. We spent a LOT of time looking for elevators on this trip.
We only found two stations our whole trip that had no elevator at all, one was the JR Kobe station and the other was a JR station in Tokyo (I forget which one). When this happened, I picked up the stroller and carried it with our infant in it on the stairs. If our toddler was in it I made her get up and walk, then carried the stroller.
The other problem at metro / train stations with a stroller is the gap between the train and the platform. There’s always either a gap or the train and platform are at different elevations. You don’t have a lot of time to get on / off the train so this was a constant source of anxiety. Once our stroller wheel got stuck in between the train and the platform. It took some effort to pop it out. Another time my toddler stepped in the gap, but luckily I was holding her hand and stopped her from falling in. Always be mindful of the gap when you have kids. It’s probably one of the least safe situations you’ll constantly run into in Japan.
Malls and shopping centers almost always have elevators. You may need to wait a while to get one though. In the malls with 10+ floors, you might need to wait 5 minutes for an elevator. Sometimes they have “priority” elevators for the handicapped and strollers but often times perfectly abled people rudely take up all the space in those elevators.
We thought we would have trouble taking our stroller into restaurants but it was actually much less trouble than expected. There was only one restaurant that flat out turned us away, Sushi Tokyo Ten in Roppongi. Other establishments will usually move a chair so you can put your stroller at the table or counter where the chair was.
So overall the stroller was annoying to use but I don’t think we could have done the trip without it. It was a necessary evil with two young kids.
—Shinkansen—
We used the Shinkansen to get between cities. We had two trips, Tokyo to Kyoto and Osaka to Tokyo. We did not bother with the JR Pass, it wasn’t worth it. Mostly because our trips were 8 days apart so we would’ve needed the 14 days pass which wasn’t worth it for two Shinkansen trips.
One thing that caught us off-guard about the Shinkansen is how quickly it leaves a station when it makes a stop. We were expecting to have some time to get on when the train arrived, but it’s basically the same as a Metro stop. You have to get on right away. We made the mistake of buying a reserved seat for a train leaving in less than 15 minutes, without knowing where the elevator was. So we scrambled to get to where we needed to go on the platform and were the last ones on the train. We jumped on the train at the last second, we wanted to get to our specific car from the platform but we weren’t going to make it. It’s a miracle we didn’t lose a piece of luggage or a kid on the way. On the second trip I reserved a seat on a train that was 40 minutes out.
As far as seating we only needed to buy two seats. We would have put our toddler on our lap if needed, but we didn’t need to. Basically, one side of the train has 2 seats and the other 3. If you find a row that has the window seat open on the 3 seat side, then it is very unlikely anyone will sit in the aisle seat if you reserve the window and middle seat. We basically got a free seat for our toddler this way on both trips.
—Baby supplies—
We had more trouble than expected finding baby supplies. A lot of guides online tell you to go to drugstores, and maybe we were going to the wrong drugstores but that wasn’t working out for us. We were distraught until we by chance came across Babies R Us. Yes, the Babies R Us that went out of business in the USA. We happened to be browsing the malls in Odaiba when we came across this gem. It’s a treasure trove of western style baby food and supplies.
Our infant is in the “purée” food stage and we didn’t find any in drugstores. Most of the baby food is juice or rice porridge. Babies R Us has aisles worth of puréed food. It has diapers, wet wipes, formula, nose cleaners, and basically anything else you’d ever want for your baby. We stocked up on everything when we found this place. There are several locations but we went to the Odaiba location in Tokyo and the Harborland location in Kobe.
Another smaller store we found in the mall below Tokyo Skytree is Dadway. They don’t have as much as Babies R Us but we did pick up some purée here.
The other place we picked up diapers and a few others things is Don Quijote, which has locations all over the place. Their baby food collection is basically as limited as drugstores, but it’s fine in a pinch.
—Eating—
I’ve spoken a lot about logistics, but I had one primary reason for going to Japan: to eat tasty food. I had been to Japan once before I had kids and fell in love with the food.
Most guides will tell you families should go to family restaurants. Nope. Not happening. We did not go to a single Saizeriya or Bikkuri Donkey. And I definitely did not go through all of this trouble to eat at Denny’s. We went to a total of ZERO family restaurants.
I’m here to tell you there are plenty of good restaurants you can go to with kids. Even with a baby. Even with a baby and a toddler.
I’ll tell you my main approach to finding restaurants that will allow kids to dine with you. Your main tools are: Tablelog, Google Maps, and the individual restaurant websites. Tablelog is a great tool and their “with children” section on the restaurant info page is very accurate. If a restaurant is listed as “Babies are welcome” or “Baby Strollers accepted”, then you can very likely eat there with a baby. If a place does not have such a listing, it isn’t necessarily a no, it’s a maybe. That’s when you need to search Google Maps reviews for “kids”, “children”, “family” to see if anyone mentions the restaurant’s stance on such things. If you can’t find anything on Google Maps, go to the restaurant’s website. If they have an online reservation system, it is likely to list their stance on kids on the reservation page.
I did a lot of research beforehand and pinned all the relevant restaurants on Google Maps. That way, no matter where I was, I could find some good kid tolerant restaurants. I say “kid-tolerant” instead of “kid friendly” because I consider “kid-tolerant” to mean that they let kids in the restaurant, while “kid-friendly” means they have a kid’s menu, high chairs, etc.
We were able to eat at a wide variety of restaurants, from overpriced Michelin starred places to budget Omakase places. There are a lot of restaurants in Japan. If a restaurant doesn’t let you in because you have kids, it’s fine because there’s another similar one that will.
This is a list of good restaurants we ate at with our infant and toddler. These are just the places we made it to, there were plenty more I had on my list we didn’t make it to:
Gion Maruyama, Gion, Kyoto
Sushi Wakon, Four Seasons, Kyoto
The Oak Door, Grand Hyatt, Tokyo
Kobe Plaisir, Kobe
Roku Roku, Grand Hyatt, Tokyo
Daiwa Sushi, Toyosu Market, Tokyo
Inshotei, Ueno Park, Tokyo
Sushidan, Eat Play Works, Tokyo
Nishiya, Shinsaibashi, Osaka
Tonkatsu Wako, JR Isetan, Kyoto
Soju Dining, Tokyo Midtown, Tokyo
Imakatsu, Roppongi, Tokyo
Mizuno, Dotonbori, Osaka
Rokurinsha, Tokyo Station, Tokyo
Tsumigi, Tsukiji, Tokyo
Lots of different food stalls in Tsukiji Market, Tokyo
Other times we ate at conveyor belt sushi places, department store basements, or ramen places. The basements are a good place to get something for everyone. My toddler ate a lot of gyoza and noodles on this trip, she didn’t take a liking to much else. But Ichiran and Ippudo were right down her alley.
Tsukiji market was our go to breakfast place when we stayed in Tokyo. There’s plenty of different choices there and it opens early enough for jet-lagged families.
Overall I had a great time eating. If my toddler is eating she’s usually not having a tantrum, and we tried as best as possible to put our infant to sleep before we went to any higher end restaurants. There were some awkward tantrum moments but for the most part it was fine.
—City by City Report—
Tokyo
We had two different stays in Tokyo, the first after landing in Japan and the second right before departing Japan. We stayed a total of 10 nights in Tokyo, but we wish we had even more.
We could have come to Tokyo alone the whole trip and been perfectly content. It has the best food, the most kid friendly facilities, and there’s plenty to see and do.
Here’s a few choice things we did with the kids:
DisneySea: My toddler loved this one. We’ve been to Disneyland in SoCal but this is completely different. Even I was excited since it’s been a long while since I’ve been to an unexplored Disney park. A lot of people will say DisneySea is for older kids but there were plenty of rides my toddler could get on. It’s a great place for toddlers. A must visit with kids.
Ueno park: We spent a whole day in Ueno Park. There’s a great zoo, a fun Natural History Museum, and good restaurants. We picked up bento boxes from Inshotei and ate them at a picnic table in the zoo. I think this park is also a must do with kids.
One of the city views: you have a few choices here but we went to Tokyo Skytree and Shibuya Sky. Shibuya sky is a little less kid friendly, because they don’t allow strollers on the roof and they have some weird rules about holding your baby on the roof. I think they’re scared of a wind gust pulling your baby off the roof? I like the mall at Tokyo Skytree, and there’s a Rokurinsha there too (very good dipping ramen).
Small Worlds: This is a miniature museum on one of the man-made islands in the bay. It’s a little out of the way, but we made a day out of Toyosu Market, Small Worlds, and Odaiba. My toddler liked this one, the exhibits are interactive and fun to look at. It was better than expected.
Other than that we did a lot of eating and shopping in Tokyo for us adults.
Kyoto
Kyoto was probably our least favorite city to do with kids. In general it’s just hard to get around. There’s a lot of stroller unfriendly places. Streets without sidewalks. Rough cobblestone-like roads. Temples are not stroller friendly. Hills everywhere. Good luck getting to the top of the monkey park with a stroller. It’s definitely a trend in this city.
Maybe if you have older kids it’s fine. But if you have younger than elementary school kids it’s probably skippable. There’s not that many kid friendly activities here either. Temples aren’t interesting for kids. The best kid activity here is probably the Arashiyama Monkey Park. My toddler got a real kick out of feeding the monkeys. Just be aware there is a significant hike to get to the top of the hill where the monkeys are. My toddler is a pretty good walker, she made it all the way without crying or complaining. But I saw some other kids that didn’t fare as well.
The other thing you might try near the monkey park is the Arashiyama bamboo forest. I think it’s one of the most overrated sights in Japan though. It’s just mobbed with tourists all day. It’s not enjoyable with the crowds. I’ve been here twice and I’ve been disappointed both times.
I doubt we will be back to Kyoto any time soon.
Osaka
Osaka was nice. It was a bit refreshing to have many of the Tokyo conveniences again. Elevators everywhere, well paved and flat roads, and plenty of baby rooms.
Osaka is a good base for taking nearby day trips as well. We went to both Kobe and Nara without needing to take the Shinkansen.
The best kid experience in Osaka is the Kaiyukan aquarium. It’s big. The central tank with the whale sharks is impressive. They have lots of different animals from all over the world. It’s bigger and better than any aquarium we have in California.
The one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the lines. You need to pre-book your timed entry tickets online. We didn’t, and ended up getting tickets that were for entry two hours later. And we were there right when they opened. If I go to the aquarium at opening time on a weekday where we are from we can walk right in. Lesson learned.
We stayed in Shinsaibashi and it’s a very walkable area. There’s a covered shopping street that goes all the way down to Dotonbori. Namba is walkable from there. And America-mura is between Shinsaibashi and Dotonbori.
The Daimaru mall in Shinsaibashi is good for kids. There’s a Bornelund in there with a small indoor playground, a Pokémon Center, and good food.
I liked Osaka overall. The only thing I thought was a let down was okonomiyaki.
Nara
Nara was worth the trip. It’s about 45 minutes from Namba on the train, so not too out of the way.
There’s deer all over. Deer that bow to you. In the park, on the sidewalk, in the street. It’s a unique experience you should see at least once.
The deer are rather aggressive when you have food for them. It’s not a place where you want your kids feeding the deer. As soon as you buy the food from the street vendor, they mob you. They try to snatch the food out of your hand. Make sure you watch someone else do it first before deciding to do it yourself. If I let my toddler do it she probably would have been terrified.
The other must see in Nara is Todai-ji. It’s impressive. The giant Buddha is something. This was probably the best temple we saw on this trip, it’s visually stunning. More than anything we saw in Kyoto. I did have to carry the stroller up and down some steps, but there’s not too many.
Kobe
Kobe was great. It exceeded my expectations. The trip from Osaka is easy. We spent a full day there.
We started our one day in Kobe at the Nunobiki Herb Gardens. I wasn’t expecting too much but this place is really nice. It’s big, with lots of different gardens and exhibits to see. There’s great views as well. We took lots of pictures.
There’s a few different places to eat and drink in the gardens as well. We had some sparkling rose at “The Veranda” which had a great view of Kobe. We didn’t eat because we had a lunch reservation down the hill.
There’s a few things to watch out for. This place gets busy, so get there early. There’s no reservations, you just go early and wait in line. When we left at midday the line was massive, so get there when they open.
The herb garden only takes up the top half the hill. At first I thought it extended to the bottom of the hill, but the bottom half of the hill is actually a hiking trail without gardens. So I bought a one way gondola ticket to the top expecting to walk down all the way, but after I realized the garden ended at the middle I bought another ticket to go down (instead of getting the round trip ticket like I should have).
After the gardens we went to eat Kobe beef. Kobe Plaisir was the restaurant I chose, which was both high end and had a kids menu. The beef was great and everyone had a good time.
Afterwards we went to Harborland. It’s a nice area on the harbor that has a big boat you can go out on, and a couple of shopping malls. The Anpanman museum is here too but by the time we got there tickets were sold out for the day. This is also where you can find a Babies R Us.
Our Kobe day was one of the best days of our trip. I’d suggest a day trip here for anyone.
—Closing—
It’s hard to travel with kids this age. No doubt. Everything will take more time and be more expensive than when you used to travel alone. But I do not regret taking this trip at all. As a matter of fact I want to go back right now. My wife loved the trip, and my toddler might even remember it when she grows up. She still talks about feeding the monkeys and how dad ate a “real fish” (A Japanese sweetfish they grilled in front of us at Gion Maruyama). Japan is a great place for a first family trip.

As the title notes, I'm looking for a special someone who's looking for the same thing. Someone who's looking for a great connection, loves witty and interesting banter throughout the day/week to keep life interesting, and an physical activities partner if we click. Someone who's looking for some new and fun adventures in life, yet keep it drama free because lord knows we need some escape after living through everything over the last couple of years with covid and general madness.
A little bit about myself. I'm 38, very professional job, 5'8'', disease and drug free, married (in an open relationship so no drama) with one child, fit, broad shouldered (used to be a running back in football if that give one and idea of body type), black hair with brown eyes, sane with a funny/sarcastic sense of humor and moderate/liberal views. My main vice would probably be that I enjoy coffee WAY TOO MUCH for my own good and enjoy working out, reading (currently re-reading Count of Monte Cristo), cooking, trying new restaurants and traveling when possible.
I'm looking for a female age 20-45, race doesn't matter to me, loves conversations, and someone who's in or near the triangle area of NC as I would love to actually meet and grab some coffee in person one day. If this interests you, I would love to connect. Otherwise, hope you're having a wonderful day

Trip Report- 13 days Tokyo/Kyoto/Hakone/Nagoya (Ghibli Park) /Hiroshima with a 2 year-old toddler. (plus day-trips to Nara and Osaka)
I love reading other peoples' trip reports and thought it might be useful to share my experiences travelling with my wife and toddler in Japan. We used Shinkasens for most of our travel between cities but did rent a car in the middle so that we could drive to a rural Onsen and then to Shirakawa-Go from Nagoya. (We also briefly rented a car to visit 3 plaaces around Hakone, too).
First of all, traveling with a toddler in japan is great. Our kid loves trains and busses and got tons of attention and shouts of "KAWAI!!" from friendly people everywhere we went. She even got a lullaby sung to her by a Japanese grandmother as she dozed on a city bus in Kyoto. She never had to pay for any bus fares or train fares. (technically she was a "lap baby" on the Shinkansens).
We read a book of etiquette before we went and it was very useful to know. I am sure most of these tips are stickied elsewhere , but things like "don't point with one finger, always grasp cups with both hands, don't wipe your face/mouth with the hand-cloth, don't talk loudly in restaurants or on trains, keep yen bills neat and flat and use the trays provided when paying for things," etc, were good to know before we went. We brought and carried a "point-and-say" translation book but only used it once; generally Google Translate worked great for images of menus and signs. (and many restaurants have English versions of menus, or use digital menus on iPad that can switch to English. ) Google maps handled most of our navigation needs without issues too, both via train and car. We parked the stroller outside most restaurants or folded it and brought it just inside the door if the weather was bad.
Prep work --
The only major prep work we did before leaving was to buy our JR pass and alert our banks to the dates that we would be in Japan so that our credit and debit cards would work. We had no problems getting cash from the ATM machines at 7-11 or at the Airport. We reserved all hotels/AirBnB/Onsen/Car Rentals beforehand. Also bought SkyTree tickets before departing. We stayed up until 4am to get a ticket to Ghibli's Grand Warehouse -- fortunately only one ticket was needed since our child was under 4 and my wife wasn't interested. We rented a mobile hotspot device from Sakura Mobile before leaving America and it was waiting for us at our first hotel in Tokyo. We dropped the hotspot and charger in a mailbox in a pre-paid envelope before leaving Kyoto.
Major tips -- no need to pack lots of snacks or water each day , since vending machines and 7-11 stores and similar are ubiquitous. Do pack paper towels/ Napkins and extra plastic bags for carrying wet diapers and trash, as public trash cans are almost non-existant. (and when they do exist, they are often just for aluminum and PET plastic bottles) Throw away trash where you bought it, (for things like satay skewers) or bring it home to your hotel. The "pack-it-out" mindset takes a little getting used to, but the results -- a society seemingly without litter-- are superb. Having a lightweight , easily foldable stroller made this trip much easier. Our child often slept in the stroller, and being able to quickly collapse and carry it was key to getting up and down the many sets of stairs in the train stations. It also occasionally doubled as a luggage cart for us. Packing light is key; we picked hotels and AirBnBs that had laundry options to allow us to carry a minimum of stuff. (and no need to bring laundry soap; the washing machines dispense it automatically) My wife wished she had a Japanese-style suitcase with 4 roller-wheels, but I think we did fine with our backpacks , etc.
In general, we didn't have much trouble finding things for my daughter to eat; she loves noodles and dumplings, and even got really into red snapper sushi one night. (basically she loves anything she can dip in soy sauce). Chicken Karage was usually an easy thing to find and feed to her, as were the egg salad Sandos, fresh fruit, and various rice balls from 7-11. Oddly, she also really loved the "pickle-on-a-stick" things that were pretty common in outdoor markets. (I think we got them in both Kyoto and Osaka)
Flights - we flew JAL to from LAX to Narita outbound, and returned on JAL (operated by AA) from Hiroshima to Haneda to LAX. The outbound flight was great; the JAL service was impeccable and they gave my child a model airplane which kept her occupied for hours. We gate-checked our folding stroller on the outbound flight -- the gate clerk put into a plastic bag for us just before departure,
The return flight (operated by American Airlines ) was a step down, but still fine. Transferring planes at Haneda for the return was a little more of a hassle than we had expected becuase you have to exit one terminal, walk a while, exit the building and then get on a free bus, and then go back through security at another terminal. On the plus side, the Haneda international terminal has a padded play area that my daughter liked near the duty free shops. Becuase our return journey was two flights, gate-checking the stroller was not possible, but instead, after measuring its size, we were able to keep it as a carry-on for both legs. (had it been larger, JAL said they would have met us at Haneda with an airport loaner stroller, something we saw other parents using in Hiroshinma and Haneda)
Highlights from each city (focusing on things that my child loved)
Tokyo -- our first night in Japan was a little disorienting: the Tokyo metro station is like a gigantic multi-layer mall-labryinth, and since none of the maps seem to show the "big picture" finding our way to the correct exit lugging luggage was a bit of a challenge the first time . We went back down that night for our fist meal, and by the next day we were practically experts, and were even able to find our way to Ramen Street (on level B1) for lunch and --after waiting in line for about 20 minutes-- slurp some great noodles.
Our first morning we wanted to visit the imperial Palace Gardens, but discovered it is closed on Mondays. Stil, just seeing its moat and stone walls was impressive. We walked to the Children's Science and Technology Museum near Budokan, and our duaghter loved operating cranes and turning cranks of giant Rube-Goldberg machines. (some with bowling-ball sized steel balls moving around). Most of the exhibits were in Japanese, but the fact that this wasn't a common tourist destination made it interesting to visit. On the way home for naps we ate at a random underground food court under an office building and learned how to order a food ticket from a machine for eating at a restaraunt. (a key skill!)
We next headed up to the Owl Cafe in Akihabara, mostly as an excuse to have a visit to Akhiabara, and found it was closed, but seeing the electronics stores and nightlife of Akhihabara was fun. As you might expect, my daughter loved getting Gacha Balls from vending machines (both in Akihabara and everywhere else )
Our second day we spent the morning hunting for the legendary "Elephant Playground" (worth the hunt!) and then went to the nearby Tokyo Childrens' Toy Museum. This was a fantastic combo, and I would recommend anyone with young kids in Tokyo do both. From there we walked to Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, which was a wonderful oaisis, full of picknicking families and couples. We explored the tropical greenhouse and then had a well-needed rest under a tree near a tea-house in the traditial japanese garden section Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden also was conveniently close to the Shinjuku rail station, which was imporant because we had Sky-Tree tickets that evening, and we headed there directly. We didn't have time to do any shopping or visit the two museums recommended to us near the skytree (Tobacco and Salt and the Tobu rail museum) But we did have what I consider my favorite meal of the trip: beers and gyoza and molten-lava hot takoyaki at a tiny( 6- seat) izakaya a few minutes south of the Skytree. (i'd recommend it by name but it was completely in japanasese and I am not sure I can now accurately ID it)

The third day we visted the Tusikiji outer fish market -- we got there early and and it was quickly full of tourists and good food. (many different kinds of grilled things on sticks, as well as raw oysters, etc) I was amazed that the public bathrooms there were sparkling clean -- as they were throughout almost the entire trip. My daughter loved getting an ice-cream drink at John Lennon's favorite coffiee shop (Yonemoto). On the way back thorugh Ginza we bought an enormous fig wrapped like the crown jewels from one of Japnan's famous fruit-gift stores. It cost about $9, but was absoulutely delicious. (it was crazy to see $200 watermelons and $170 muskmellons in the same store) 

We also took this time in Ginza to do one of the things on my bucket list -- buy an overpriced gift fruit from a fancy Japanese store. We bought the second cheapest thing in there - a single giant fig, and I think it cost about $9. (totally worth it!) . it was just fun to ogle $80 spherical watermelons, and other beautiful, but incredibly expensive fruit.
Later that afternoon visited/saw Shibuya crossing, ate decent and very inexpensive sushi at a 3rd floor conveyor-belt restaurant, and went to Harjuku. (not in that order) Harajuku was chaotic fun, but equally fun was the long peaceful forest walk to visit the Meji Ginku shrine that starts just outside Harjuki station . By now we were experts at tossing coins, bowing, clapping, and praying in the appropriate cycle. (something the 2 year old seemed to quite enjoy). We also knew from our guidebook that we were supposed to walk only on the sides of the path at Meji Ginku -- the middle is reserved for the Gods.
NAGOYA/GHIBLI - We took a direct bus from Nagoya station (cash accepted, Pasmo Cards also accepted) out to the sprawling expo grounds that surround the Ghibli exhibits. Our 2.5 year old loved Studio Ghibli Parks Gand Warehouse, particularly the miniature town where she could run around and pretend to drive a train and serve beer at a drafthouse. There was a furry Catbus to sit on, (of course) as well as another padded Catbus to jump around on for a few minutes with shoes off. Totoro is the only Ghibli character she knows well, and she loved finding hidden Totoros and (and a giant bar-tending one) around the Warehouse.
Arguably, Ghibli park was a little disappointing for us two adults , becuase it was pouring rain when we visited making the long walks between areas less than fun. And despite having moved heaven and earth to get a timed ticket, there still were long lines (~40 min) for areas inside the "Grand Warehouse." It was interesting for me to see the sketches and reference photos a used to make each cell of Ghibli animation realisitic ... but it was annoying and crazy that most areas of the warehouse totally forbad taking photographs. Much of the rest of the Grand Warehouse was just lines for people to take selfies in front of recreated scenes from the movies for posting on social media.
We had watched or re-watched all the Ghibli movies prior to our trip, so we were well prepared, but overall I would say that if you can't get tickets to go to the Grand Warehouse, don't feel bad. (There are many many more magical and wonderful things everywhere else in Japan, and your 2 -year-old will love them just as much. )
HAKONE/SHIRAKAWA-GO/ HIDA (Onsen)
We took a Shinkasen south from Tokyo to Hakone, and spent a day there with a family friend who showed us an ancient tea-house along the old imperial road, a famous Shinto shrine, a deliicious meal, and of course, Mount Hakone with its black eggs, sulfurous fumes, and melty black ice cream. The toddler loved the eggs and the ice cream, of course! For me, sitting and eating tea and mochi in the deep forest along the royal road was like being transported back into a historical Kurosawa film.
If you visit Hakone, I would encourage you to get into the woods and do some hiking. It's a gorgeous area. Apparently the japanese love to drink and tour Lake Ashi on a pair of pirate ships. which added a comic aspect to our visit to the much-photographed Hakone Shrine's Tori gate.
We knew we wanted to visit the truly rural areas of Honshu, so we reserved a night at a remote Onsen near Shirakawa-Go. The drive from Nagoya was stunningly beautiful, traffic was light, and because we had rented a toll transponder along with the rental car, we could just breeze through the toll-booths (which are located at the off-ramps) . Seeing the untouched mountains coexisting with sleek new road tunnels and breathtaking shining bridges made me realize how decrepit American infrastructure has become.
IT was a bit stressful to drive on the left hand side of the road, but conversely, It was great to be able to pull over at will. For example, we could stop at at a small town outside of Nagoya for a delicious prix fixe breakfast at "cafe Pierrot" and again later to see and visit a beautiful riverside Shinto shrine along the road. The car gave us the freedom to and be able to just stop and explore and let our child play in the shallow water surrounded by green hills. Driving in the rural areas wasn't too bad, and doing so let us see a whole other world that we would have missed had we stuck to the trains. For example, we visited a delightful outdoor morning market in the village of Miyagawa and bought fresh produce and some delightful snacks (including fish-shaped custard-filled mini-donuts) from the vendors followed by an impromptu picnic along the riverbank.
On this portion of the trip we also got to experience the Japan's wonderful rest-stop cuisine -- you use a ticket machine to select some items, hand them to a chef behind the counter, and in a few minutes your number is called . We had some delicious Japanese pizza (shaped like a elongated, puffy taco ) fragrant beef curry, and a "Miso Katsu" dish too.
Later we would stop at another rest stop and discover that it had an absolutely epic set of slides and tunnels built into the hillside. You borrow a plastic sled and then slide about 150 feet down a green carpet. It was hearwarming to see how kind and welcoming the japanese children were to our daughter, helping her to slide and showing her how to play and explore the tunnels. Arguably this was my child's favorite part of the entire trip.
Shirakawa Go was great fun for the whole family -- it was definately touristy, but it was great to be able to stroll and relax and learn about Japan's past. (Parking closes at 5pm, though!) We had only a few hours there but I think we would have enjoyed an entire day of strolling and snacking and learning. Interestingly all the parking attendents there seem to be senior citizens.
Our Ondsen was in a small farming comunity outside Hida, surrounded by orchards, mountains, and rice paddies. We were the only non-japanese that we saw there, and it was a little challenging to keep our toddler ccorralled during the formal meals (served in a common area, not in our rooms). As expected, the indoor slippers provided were a bit small for my size-11 feet, but we had a great time in a beautiful, secluded place.
Staying overnight got us a ticket to also visit the large and well-maintained municipal baths just up the road. (each side of which had about 7 pools of various temperatures and medicinal properties) There was a wonderful hiking trail that looped through the deep forest around the town. One of my biggest regrets of the trip is that we did not have more time to hike and explore these lush, pristine mountain woods -- I think I enjoyed our hikes here as much as I did the onsen baths.
The driving portion of our trip ended on the western coast of Honshu, at Kanazawa, but we didn't see much of that city other than a gas station and the rental car return before taking the "thunderbird" train down to Kyoto. (not quite as fast as some shinkasen, but very comfortable).
KYOTO and day-trips:
We had three delightful days in Kyoto, along including day trips by rail to Osaka (to see the market, eat okinomiyaki, and climb Osaka Castle) and Nara (to walk aound and feed the deer in the park and then the koi at a a beautiful botanical garden, stroll through another temple, and to eat the best Udon noodles of the trip while siting outdoors in the forest. In Nara, we also stumbled upon a wonderful Beatles-only vintage record shop called "B-Sels" on an upper floor just across from Nara station, and listened to a street performance of Shamisen music at the station itself. Nara, like Shirakawa-Go, was full of busloads of tourists, but that didn't make it any less of a great experience for us.
Kyoto itself was wonderful to explore on foot -- I won't go into exhaustive detail, but our child loved walking and being pushed in the stroller to various Temples and loved the view from Kyoto tower. (and the Gatcha ball souvenir tower even more!) . She liked the path through the bamboo forest (crowded with tourists) and loved "hiking" through the beautiful and less crowded gardens of Tenryu-Ji temple -- part of which has remained unchanged since the 14th century. We skipped the monkey park.
In Kyoto proper, we walked through Chion-In Buddhist temple , took our shoes off and bagged them, and observed a ceremony -- it was interesting to see how similar it was to ceremonies in America, with the same incense, syllable recitation, and wood-block time-keeping interspersed with bowl-gong ringing .... but on a much grander scale. The size of the wooden buildings is epic, rivaling the stone cathedrals of Europe. Because of the large numbers of steps to get from the massive Sanmon gate to the main building of the shrine, my wife and I took turns exploring and let the toddler play along the paths of the temple's small tea-garden next door.
Hiroshima-
Finally, we spent the last two days of our trip in Hiroshima. It was shocking and surreal to get off the train underground and suddenly be hit with an overwhelming smell of burning -- there was construction work all around Hiroshima station and I don't know if it was from digging pylons down into subterranean ashes, or just from some other more modern aspect of the construction As someone whose worldview was shaped by reading Barefoot Gen as a child, visiting Hiroshima was an important and somber part of our trip.
It was interesting to see that the bulk of the visitors to the Peace Museum visitors seemed to be Japanese school groups. Of course, most of the photos and exhibits museum went "over the head" of our 2/yo child. (she wasn't frightened, just not interested). She did enjoy ringing the peace Bell outside and seeing the collections of paper cranes. We bought books to help share the experience with her again once she is older.
In any event, Hiroshima is a charming city showing no outward signs of being apocalyptically devastated (except at the Peace Memorial Dome) and there is an excellent restaurant district just around the corner from the main train station, with many small restaurants that are open late.
The people and proprietors of Hiroshima seemed particularly kind to us; it's more relaxed there than any of the other cities we viisted. Our chid loved was the "Children's 5-day Science Museum" about a quater mile away from Peace Park that has a lot of hands-on exhibits and two stories of climbing tunnels. We did not do the planetarium there, as it is in japanese-language only and we had limited time.
For us, the highlight of our time in Hiroshima was taking the long ferry to Miyajima directly from Peace Park and then wandering around the narrow streets of Miyajima in the afternoon and evening. It was great to see the oyster beds being worked from the ferry and then later dine on delicious grilled and fried Miyajima oysters.
Our child loved the ferry rides and wandering around Miyajima (there are deer there too) but she also slept for much of our time on the island. The return ferry was part of the JR rail network and so we could use our JR passes for that. (its a short, straighter route).
All in all, Japan was very kid friendly, as long as you can quickly and easily fold up your stroller, and we loved our time in every city we visited. (and could have easily spent much more time in any of them).
Other Thoughts: We bought the Japan Rail Pass, but probably didn't save much money by doing so; My wife estimates that we about broke even with the number of shinkansen, trains, and ferry-rides we used. It was a nice security blanket, though, to know that if we missed a train it wouldn't cost us anything. (but we never missed any trains) . For non JR-line trains, we used a pair of "PASMO" cards. Pasmo cards can also be used at other random retail places as a stored-cash card. When you go through the gates, you must look for ones that say "IC" if you are using a Pasmo card and tap against the NFC pad with it. Using Pasmo is nice because the card is durable (unlike the paper JR Pass) and you can load up enough money for multiple trips on the card.
We use T-mobile, and our plan included 5 GB of "high speed data" while in japan but we weren't sure we would have good service for our rural drive, so we gout a WiFi hotspot from Sakura Mobile. This worked fine -- and its speeds was always faster than T-Mobile's coverage when tested. The hotspot generally would last about 20 hours on one charge. But honestly T-Mobile's Japan coverage was probably good enough that the hotspot was an unnecessary expense; we often used it instead of the hotspot and only came close to the 5GB limit on our last day. If I were on a tighter budget, a shorter trip, or knew I wouldn't be in remote areas, I would skip the Hotspot and just use T-mobile.
TLDR: Tokyo Toy Museum is fantastic for little ones. Ghibli Park (Grand Warehouse) is fine, but our kid probably had just as much fun on many other Japanese playgrounds. If you do choose to drive, don't miss the Japanese rest stops which can be fantastic with fresh food and jungle gyms and slides. Our kid may remember little from the trip except the toys she took home from GATCHA balls, but we have a lifetime of memories gained. Don't miss the Udon in Nara at "Mizuya Chaya", just outside the beautiful Manyo Botanical Gardens.
links:
ELEPHANT PLAYGROUND:
https://www.thetokyochapter.com/tokyos-retro-playgrounds/
RAMEN STREET:
https://tokyocheapo.com/food-and-drink/ramen/tokyo-ramen-street/
Miyagawa Morning Market:
https://www.japan.travel/en/spot/1255/
Udon at Mizuya Chaya in Nara:
https://www.visitnara.jp/venues/D01057/