Monday through friday jobs near me
loseit - Lose the Fat
2010.07.29 14:53 mindspread loseit - Lose the Fat
A place for people of all sizes to discuss healthy and sustainable methods of weight loss. Whether you need to lose 2 lbs or 400 lbs, you are welcome here!
2008.05.27 01:30 Portland, OR - Where we specialize in moss and snark.
/Portland is the regional subreddit for the Portland Oregon metro area and its residents.
2012.05.15 19:29 jpm374 I Need Help Finding A Mechanical Engineering Internship Around West Chester, PA
2023.06.09 07:07 stnick6 [F4A] You’re vampire mistress confronts you [Vampire] [humor] [inhuman listener]
This is my first script. I’ve had a few ideas before but this time I just forced myself to start working on it
If anyone wants to record this feel free to do so, as long as you send me the link.
I like to think I’m a fair boss.
I pay you a fair wage and all I ask is that you do a few fair chores and once in a while I ask to feed.
It’s not like I do it often. I have dozens of servants so you only have to be fed upon once a month.
So why is it that when it’s your feeding day I wake up to find my bag empty?
Was the contract not clear in its wording? Every 27 days at 9:00 p.m. you were to head down to the feeding room, hook yourself up to the IV, and fill just one bag with your delicious blood so I can start my night off with a meal.
Shhhhh! I don’t want any excuses. You’ve tested my patience. I’m going to feed on you wether you want to or not. Now, are you going to let me feed on you, or are you going to make this harder on yourself?
That’s a good pet. vampire bite sound effect disgusted spitting
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? What do you mean you “got no blood”? How? Were born like this? Wait wait wait, you’re a flesh golem? How? No I know how golems are made, I mean how can you be a golem all this time without me knowing?
How did you even get this job? Having blood is a very important part of selecting a servant! You took some from an ambulance and passed it off as your own? Ignoring how incredibly immoral that is why would you even do that?
What do you mean you wanted this job? You do know what I am right? I’m an evil vampire queen who’s taking desperate people from their family’s to be used as maids and blood bags! Why would you want to work here?
Well I guess that is true. I do have a lot of maids for a relatively small house and I don’t use most of the rooms so that leaves very little actual cleaning to be done. Do all the servants feel this way? Hmm, I thought they hated me.
Well I’ll think about that later. For now I have to deal with you. I can’t exactly keep you around knowing your “secret” but I have a feeling you’re not willing to leave without a fight.
Hmmm, now that I think about if I have had a resent problem with so called “vampire hunters” sneaking into my home in a fool hearty attempt at killing me. How would you feel about becoming my new body guard? Very well, you’ll start on Monday.
Until then fetch Maria, I’m still hungry. What do you mean “that might be a problem”? Yes I know there’s a full moon out what of it? SHES A WHAT?
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2023.06.09 07:04 KitchObs How do you help someone who is about to go homeless? What options do they have? (Ontario)
Ok, here's the deal:
My mother has been unemployed for nearly a year, based in Ontario. She has had a long history of mental illness which makes life very difficult for her. In order to keep the roof over her head and food in her stomach I've been sending her $1500/month ever since.
Soon I will be entering a phase of life that won't let me send her this money anymore. I told her a few months ago that July 31 will be the last time I can send it.
She has the skillset to get a job paying at least $30/hr and has been searching for a job for a few months. But the market is tough, and her mental illness makes the search harder.
I don't know what to do if she can't get a job. Thankfully she has cheap rent, only $1000/month. She has been living at poverty levels for a long time and is willing to continue to. She is drowning in LOC, CC, and student loan debt. Interest is causing MINIMUM another $500/month, but probably more. (60k total debt and she's given me a lot of pushback on the idea of a consumer proposal / bankruptcy)
I've heard ODSP takes a long time to get into. Is Ontario Works similar? Are there any other options for her if she will go homeless in August but is actively looking for work?
I understand there's a lot of things that "should" happen. Get any job you can. Get the consumer proposal. Start working on ODSP paperwork...I've been pushing for these things for a long time and ultimately it's up to her how she wants to handle them. What I need is immediate solutions to stop her from becoming homeless in a few months.
Thanks for any advice you can give.
EDIT: Also, she has many physical health issues that would prevent her from doing manual labour jobs. So temp agencies I think probably wouldn't help right? From my understanding those are mostly physical based.
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2023.06.09 07:03 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] [Get] ✔️ Adam Bensman – 6-Figure Income Sprint ✔️ Full Course Download
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2023.06.09 07:01 deathscaryman Crippling fear of time and death
Hi everyone,
It's basically as the title says; I'm in my early 20's and yet I find myself frequently anxious about my inevitable death, at least a few times per hour and occasionally for hours at a time. It's not exactly a passive thought either, it gives me a thick sense of anxiety and a strong tightness in my upper chest to the point where I'm afraid it's getting out of hand. If I really go down the rabbit hole with it, I can give myself a panic attack, which feels really silly because of how powerless I am in the face of death. I know worrying about it won't change anything, but of course that provides me no solace.
For a bit of context, I've only recently come out of a deep three year depression and started really appreciating my life. However, I've noticed that as the depression goes away, more new issues seem to grow in it's place. The way I perceive myself in the world is changing rapidly, often in ways I can't understand just yet. As far as I can tell, I'm a lot more anxious than I was even 3 months ago, and this whole fear of death thing is relatively new to me as well. I've used death as a motivating factor for years now, knowing my time is immeasurably valuable pushes me to try and make the most of it, but only recently did it turn into true fear. I think it started when I had a conversation with my friend about nuclear weapons strangely enough. We live near a big American city center, so he made the observation that if we ever went to nuclear war, we'd be one of the first people blown off the map presumably. It's normally the kind of what-if thought that I'd quickly dismiss, but for some reason I chose to really stop and consider what he said and I very nearly incited my first panic attack on the spot. The thought that it could all go dark at any moment, not when I'm old but truly any moment now, and that I wouldn't even be able to perceive or understand my own death is just terrifying to me. I feel like many young people have the perspective of death as something that will happen eventually, but not right now, when really that isn't a guarantee. Since then, I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep those thoughts at bay.
I have many regrets about the way I spent my time in the 3 years I was depressed, many of the best days of my life were wasted wallowing in it, so maybe some of my fear is related to that. I feel like I'm all too aware that each second that passes is time I can't get back, each second I spend scrolling through Reddit or YouTube shorts is time I could've spent more meaningfully, and each moment of my early 20's are particularly valuable since I have so much opportunity in this phase of my life. I often think about how I'll feel on my deathbed - will I resent myself about the way I spent my time when it's finally run out? Hell, how will I feel when I'm 30 about my 20's? Can I really live with myself knowing how much time I've already wasted on Youtube shorts, time I should've spent enjoying my one and only chance at youth? What used to be a useful motivator has turned into a crushing weight on my shoulders it feels like and I can't really see a way to cope here. And even if I can cope, I'll still die either way, that part of the story won't change.
I'm sure meditation and being more present focused will go a long way towards helping me out here as Dr. K has said many times that anxiety comes from a future focused mind, but I'm hoping there's some healthier perspective I can gain on this as well that will be useful. I've really only seen Dr. K cover death broadly in the first Ludwig interview, so I'd be really curious to understand his perspective more fully. Also just wanted to say thanks to everyone here in the community as well, been lurking since the first Bobby Scar interview and this community has been everything in helping me conquer my depression. Hopefully you all can help me out a bit here too, thanks!
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2023.06.09 07:01 G_Wash1776 🚀🚀🚀 r/GME’s NFT Weekend is Back & Now Live 🚀🚀🚀
📣📣📣 THE NFT WEEKEND PARTY IS BACK 📣📣📣
🎉🎉 How it all will work, NFT creator apes out there in the Community comment your NFT in this thread and anyone who wants one comment with your wallet address below that comment 🎉🎉
🖌🖌 When the creator has given away all their NFTs we ask that you edit your comment to let others know you’re all out! 🖌🖌
Though there are some rules and they must be followed or your comment will be removed.
- No selling or buying of NFTs, all must be given away. No asking for tips.
- No copies of others NFTs or artwork!
- No links to OpenSea, Loopring wallet addresses are fine as they are a GME partner, and we know not everyone has a GME NFT Wallet yet.
- No NFTs during the trading week (Monday through Friday)
🎉🎉🎉 Each NFT Party weekend has been a great place to get some awesome NFTs, let’s have another great weekend! 🎉🎉🎉
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2023.06.09 07:00 DolorasaurasRex Miscarried and diagnosed with pcos all in the same day. Today I think I saw the fetus. Loving life right now.
My husband (34) and I(28) cannot wait to be parents. We tried to do things right. Save up. Get good jobs. Make sure we were both ready. I changed my eating habits. Cut out a lot of processed foods. Cut back on sugar. Avoided alcohol almost completely for the last 6 months.
We got a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks ago.
5 days ago we rushed to the ER. I was having the worst cramps I had ever felt and sudden severe bleeding.
Hours later was told I lost the baby due to being rh - and in addition to that terrible news I learned that I have pcos.
I feel like I've been living my life from the outside looking in.
Friday the cramps started.
Saturday the spotting started. The cramps got worse.
Sunday was the worst day of my life bare none. The cramps pain was unbearable. The bleeding was mind blowing. I was going through 4 super plus tampons in an hour. The pads were the only thing keeping me from bleeding through my clothes every 15 mins. The ER was no help.
Today I found a clump of cells in between the clots in my pad. I don't know why I looked. I usually just throw it away. But I looked. And it was there. In my gut I knew what it was.
It was slightly bigger than an apple seed. It looked so much like a tiny baby. I could see the veins. I saw what looked like a small dark red clump near the center. A thin cord like strand attached to the bean shaped clump.
I sat in the bathroom at work and cried for half an hour. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to flush it. I knew I was being crazy. I couldn't keep it. So I just moved it to a piece of toilet paper and stared at it for too long. I took a picture. I don't know why I did that. I don't know what was going through my mind. Then I flushed it. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt numb to the world.
I feel crazy. I go from normal, to depressed, to distraught, to laughing, to numb and back around in what feels like minutes. It's 1 am and I can't sleep.
This feels unreal. The doctors have been zero help. I don't know who to talk to. My husband doesn't know I saw it, but he's taken the loss so hard I can't burden him anymore.
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2023.06.09 06:56 XQCoL2Yg8gTw3hjRBQ9R Took a day off today because I'm a pussy..
So this whole situation is so stupid.. A co-worker (adult apprentice) borrowed a tool of mine a couple days ago and forgot to hand it back. For some reason he had to take the train home that day so unfortunately wouldn't make it past me to hand the tool back. Since he was at a site 200m or so from our company headquarters I asked if he could walk over there and drop it off, so I could pick it up at the end of the day (literally 2x2 minutes of walking for him, 15 minutes detour for me in car). So long story short he didn't want to walk that "long" way and at this point my patience was out of fuel. I wrote "either you drop it off at my site on your way home or else you walk those 4 minutes and drop it off at our company. I need that tool tomorrow as well on top og that you know it's my private tool, not the company's". He went nuts. Threatening me that this was the last time I talked like this to him and how he isn't my little buddy to command around. Wtf.?
So all this was two days ago, and yesterday around go home time I got told I have to work at same site as this guy today. I haven't been able to think about anything else since. What I should say if he says this and that and so on. So much anger, so much anxiety.. It's so unfair people are able to affect my emotions like this.
Anywho ended up calling my boss this morning asking for ANY other job than this site today. Unfortunately nothing else till Monday so best he could do was give me the day off (self paid). So that I did. Pussied out once again. Even though I know I'm right... Fuck I hate myself.
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2023.06.09 06:56 Icarus2point0 Immediate threat of false case against me and my family
So this happened: My family (3 of us) recently lost our house in a mortgage. Bank sealed the asset and we left the house that day. Now a word of warning, my dad is a real mean monster and his sisters and brothers are of same category. We previously had a joint family and changed 2 houses as joint family and 1 house (recently lost) as single family. Now my dad continuously plots against me and my mother. He went so extreme that once last year, he locked us up from outside gate and also tried to break a lock with a hammer when we went out to some relative's house. So many troubles and trauma related to one person over past 10 years that its hard to note down all. To me, he is nothing less of a barbarian and worst person I could imagine. His family, his brothers and sisters are absolute garbage and they themselves have multiple cases against each other to sieze joint family property. But anyways.
Now to current matters, he recently tried to plot against us and blame us (me, my mom and her extended family) for the loss of mortgaged property whose value was above 1CR. One of his habits is trying to get advantage by bringing his allies (brothers and sisters) to our living space and threaten us randomly for anything. In connection to that, he did the same thing just yesterday. He leaves house saying I'm going out for x, y, z reasons and then he goes to his allies house to talk and badmouth about us, brainwash and gain support. So it happened, one of his really mean sister (age: 50+) came to our currently rented 2BHK home and started a huge chaos (both physical and verbal). She literally threatening us (me and my mom) with random BS and also actively pretending to be a victim. After a lot of chaos my father went out for some reason. Then she increased her rage even more and physically started to threaten us. Then when she physically moved forward to threaten us, I had to stop her from moving forward any more and forcibly kicked her out from our rented flat by pushing through the corridor. Few wooden support frames of bed were kept standing there because of less space due to immediate bank sealing of house. Because I pushed her out, she again played that victim card and moved herself towards the wooden frames. After doing so those frames fell off in her forehead and she got a scar with blood out. Our criminal lawyers repeatedly told my mother not to open gate for such evil people, never to allow anyone problematic inside. My mom violated lawyers advice on this matter. That evil monster then went out weeping creating a scenario in society. Now the society knows me and my mother very well and how well behaved we are and also completely aware of this situation since past 8 years. And finally she threatened me to set me and my mother in a false case. However I did video record the last few moments in a hurry. Just to note, the push wasn't too hard and is just a simple push and why that push happened was video recorded with eye witnesses too. To add to that, she was verbally badmouthing us before this incident in the most brutal and vulgar way possible. Now currently, she is spreading false rumour about this situation. Also she is a bangladeshi visitor, came from bangladesh for few days/week and IS NOT an Indian citizen. Also to note, such vulgar incidents happened multiple times before and I have sufficient digital evidence about the perpetrators, with me. 10 years worth of evidence and proofs all points to this vulgar father and his allies.
Now a false case can impact my career and future goals like moving out of country for academic or job purpose. I decided to move out of the city before or after bank auction in few weeks depending on situation. I want to move out with my mother. And I have an IT background and thinking of possible higher studies.
Need decent suggestions to safeguard my future and my mother entirely. After this current thing, I need some kind of legal protection as well or ideas on how to avoid such victim card and false case scenarios. Please help. Any further info if needed I can provide it in comment section.
Thanks and regards
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2023.06.09 06:55 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download
| ➡️ https://www.genkicourses.site/product/chris-orzechowski-badass-black-friday-bundle/⬅️ Get the course here: [Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download What You Get: Course #1 Black Friday Bootcamp This is a short course I created for one of my e-commerce coaching groups. It outlines the high level strategy you need to use to MAXIMIZE sales for BFCM. I go over everything from how to map out your promo calendar… what emails to send when… exactly when you should START and FINISH your promo(s)… and, most importantly… … how to STAND OUT and grab attention in an overcrowded inbox, so you can break every sales record. Once you watch this mini-course, you’re going to be pumping out high-converting BFCM campaigns in no time! Course #2 Make It Rain Monthly BFCM/Q4 Planning Call This is a special “members-only” coaching call I recorded with a handful of my top students to help them prepare their clients’ brands for BFCM success. I even critique (and edit) a few of my students’ BFCM emails during this call. You can look over my shoulder and see how I think about constructing these email campaigns and sequences – super valuable! Course #3 Make It Rain Monthly Issue #8 The Black Friday / Cyber MondayMEGA Issue Part 1 - My “A-Z” roadmap for creating highly profitable Cyber Week email marketing campaigns.
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Course #5 Make It Rain Monthly Issue #20 The Black Friday / Cyber Monday2021 Gameplan - The SMS Sign Up Sequence that helped us grow an SMS list by 1,000+ subscribers while generating $10,000+ in sales.
- How to make a TON of sales on Thanksgiving… without pissing off everyone on your list. (In fact, people will be giddy with anticipation if you do this promo right.)
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- Insights from an SMS campaign I ran back in 2017 that worked incredibly well… and got people asking us to send them MORE texts (it’s a cool approach you can adapt for your own brand).
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- 6 SMS messages that ‘primed the pump’ for our sales pitches… while making our customers feel a rush of positive thoughts and emotions.
- The secret to writing tighter, pithier copy.
- 3 copy principles for high converting SMS messages.
- Two simple examples of an SMS list building campaign that you can whip up in a few minutes to start growing your list.
- The Ultimate “Trojan Horse” campaign to get your customers primed and ready to buy from you for BFCM.
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- 5 more SMS list building examples that can get you a TON of new subscribers while making lots of “easy sales” in the process.
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- Are you scared of emailing too often? Check out the tip on page 22 that’ll reduce your complaints and increase your sales.
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Course #6 Holiday Sale Super Sequence Want to scoop up even MORE sales during the holidays (without the hassle of figuring out your promo calendar)? This Holiday Sale Super Sequence is based on campaigns I still run for my agency clients that generate anywhere between $30-$50K — without fail. Comes with SIX email templates, a quick-start implementation video and super secret bonus. So if you want to generate massive sales easily every time there’s a holiday… then this training is going to help you make that happen. This sequence is PERFECT for BFCM… but you can even modify it to run other holiday sales throughout the year. Courses proof (screenshots for example, or 1 free sample video from the course) are available upon demand, simply Contact us here submitted by AutoModerator to Genkicourses_Com [link] [comments] |
2023.06.09 06:51 noiamasadguy I am empty
I am a shell, no one. I feel no passion or happiness. I breathe, and my muscles seem to function; but it is futile. It is a game. It is mockery. Nothing can comfort me right now I suppose. I constantly feel the air rushing through my lungs, rushing through my esophagus. It is void. There is no good in my body. I feel need to purge this evil, this organism. Because I don’t like the way in which it is quaking.There is nothing about me that screams noble. There is no one who I would die for, or who I would cry for. In fact, laughing feels the easiest. Just that fact right there reveals the monster under the covers. It is corruption. I feel Obligation once more. I have a duty. If I cannot fulfill this job, I am nobody. So after I complete my morning stimulations, I will kill Myself tommorow. I can’t hurt anyone else
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2023.06.09 06:51 Tera-makasi Lack of Focus with Remote Laptop Work: Body vs Mind
I've worked remotely for years. It's 90% on a laptop, with 10% of time in the field or with clients.
During a house renovation I realised that I'm able to push my body much more than my mind. Digging trenches, painting, demolition - I was able to go for hours. Sure, I'd get frustrated when I'd spill paint or find a defect. But overall I found physical work relaxing.
Back in my office I struggle to stay on task. Clients are for the most part happy with my work. But the mental anguish that I put myself through to get each task done is draining. Over the years I've implemented various aids. Such as a to-do list at the start of each day and adding content blockers to my browser etc.
But one thing I just can't do is sit down, and get on with it.
If there is 2.5 hours of work to be done in the day I'll typically waste the first half. The result is simmering self-loathing - anger at my wasted time - which is what ultimately fuels me to get going. After lunch most days there comes a moment where the tension inside me relaxes. The crescendo of frustration halts, and suddenly I can focus and start crossing off tasks.
The work I do provides a solid living, even with all the wasted time. Quitting is not an option in the short term , as I own the business and there's contractors who depend on my projects. And I'm in a small town where there is not a surplus of jobs in my field.
Though I'm looking down the barrel of another 15-20 years of this and wondering if I can make it.
Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist, had a good line where he talked about tension being a string that it connects us to an improved future state. I'm sure some of the tension that I feel is a result of me knowing the potential opportunities available to me if I could focus at work.
Is it a buckle-up and bear it scenario?
I'm sure that others have gone through this, so I'm interested to find out where you landed.
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2023.06.09 06:50 dogsrulecatscool I’m starting a new job on Monday and my anxiety is through the roof. Advice?
Hey, hope you’re all doing well!
I’m starting a new job on Monday and my anxiety this past week has been through the roof.
For context, I was unemployed and on a VERY grueling job hunt for close to ten months before landing this job. I thought I completely fucked up a portion of the interview and felt defeated afterwards because there was no way they’d hire me! But here we are! I’m grateful to have a job after so long. It’s a new role they’ve created within a specific department, and my guess is since I’m the first hire for it, they plan to expand this department later on. Its also an area I was interested I. At my previous company but I wasn’t given much opportunity to grow there. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to grow at this new job and from what I gleamed, they’d want me to grow there too.
Since I was laid off Aug of ‘22, I’ve not had health insurance, therefore, I’ve not been to therapy or had my SSRI meds for ten months (prev diagnosed GAD and MDD). It’s been a long road just getting to this point of beginning a new job, but I’ve never felt so freaking anxious about starting a job before. I think because it was TEN months before even getting an offer somewhere and how brutal the job search was for me, my brain feels like anything I ask or say between now and Monday will make them revoke the offer or think twice (even though I know that I’m more than qualified for this role and have the work ethic and experience to back it up).
I guess I just need some advice to help qualm my overworked anxiety riddled brain. What are some ways you’ve dealt with anxiety from starting a new role? How do you cope without therapy or medication, if you’ve had to do so?
And if you’ve got no advice that’s fine too. Just need to put it out there to people who understand how torturous anxiety can be for someone. I try to explain to family about how my brain works (and doesn’t work for that matter lol) and why I feel some kinda way before starting this job, but all I get is “stay positive! Don’t overthink!” Which… yes I’m really trying to, but since I’m off any kind of meds, it’s been really difficult for me to calm my racing thoughts.
Thanks for hearing me out. Appreciate you. Stay well everyone!
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2023.06.09 06:48 charlie_gibb My Work Wrote Up Every Employee in the Store
So first off, I live in California, which is an at-will state so I don’t think there’s anything I can do about this but I’m gonna ask Reddit anyway because maybe there’s someone I can contact through my work that can help.
To get to the point, today two department supervisors took it upon themselves to write up every single employee in my store (I work at Home Depot). And apparently they stopped giving physical copies of write ups and it’s all going to be through the computer now through an app called “My WorkDay” so we don’t even have the option to sign a write up now, they’re just left on our personal account for us to review.
Their reasoning for writing up everyone was that “we have observed everyone having non-work related conversations at work at some point last year” so even if you had this conversation in January 2019, you were still written up. Because of this, many people were fired because this would be their final write up. Others will only have to be late by a minute one more time to get fired because of this write up. Lucky for me, I’ve never been written up before and I’ve never been late to work the two years I worked here. Still, this really stressed me out and obviously upset me and many others. The manager of the store is new and is terrible but that’s another story. I feel like they only did this so they would have a reason to fire people and hire new people for less since many who lost their jobs are transfers who make up to $4 more than everyone else. I don’t know, anyone have any advice at all or are we fucked because this is California?
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2023.06.09 06:48 JoyfulJourneyman ublic Journal To Fix My Life Day 10 of 90
Hello everyone! I hope you had a great day. Here's a summary for new readers:
This journal is my way of staying accountable on my healing and self-improvement journey. It may not always be exciting, but it will always be honest and real. Now, let's get into today's entry.
Today turned out to be awesome, despite not going to the park at 4 am as I had planned. The rain made it impractical to take pictures, and I didn't want to risk damaging my camera. So, I decided to go back to sleep and get some rest instead.
When I woke up, I followed my usual routine of 10-minute meditation and stretching. Then, I went to a food bank to collect some free groceries and have lunch. I was fortunate to receive some good food items like salami, uncooked pasta, pork, and vegetables.
After organizing the groceries, I headed to the park that I had intended to visit earlier. Initially, I was annoyed because it started raining again when I stepped outside. However, I decided to give it a try and started biking. Fortunately, the rain stopped after about 10 minutes. I persevered for 30 minutes and finally reached the park, having covered a distance of 7 km. Let me tell you, the effort was absolutely worth it. The park was breathtaking, and the view of the city from there was stunning. I took some great pictures and then took a moment to appreciate the beauty around me, reflecting on how wonderful my life was in that moment. It brought me immense happiness.
I returned home by metro, feeling quite tired. At that point, I found myself tempted to sabotage my own progress by convincing myself that I didn't need to go for a run since I had already done enough exercise. However, I fought the mental battle and emerged victorious. I ended up going for a run on a cold night, pushing my limits further. Remember how my goal was to run the entire park by next Tuesday? Well, I achieved it today through sheer determination and visualization. I was thrilled with my accomplishment, despite feeling tired and experiencing body aches after two hours of running. It's a great feeling.
And that wraps up today's events. Now, I'll have some dinner and do some reading. Tomorrow, I plan to apply for a job at a supermarket and, if possible, go to the disco with some friends. If not, I might go watch the Spiderman movie, "Across the Spider-Verse." Exciting times lie ahead!
See you all tomorrow!
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2023.06.09 06:47 JoyfulJourneyman Public Journal To Fix My Life Day 10 of 90
Hello everyone! I hope you had a great day. Here's a summary for new readers:
This journal is my way of staying accountable on my healing and self-improvement journey. It may not always be exciting, but it will always be honest and real. Now, let's get into today's entry.
Today turned out to be awesome, despite not going to the park at 4 am as I had planned. The rain made it impractical to take pictures, and I didn't want to risk damaging my camera. So, I decided to go back to sleep and get some rest instead.
When I woke up, I followed my usual routine of a 10-minute meditation and stretching. Then, I went to a food bank to collect some free groceries and have lunch. I was fortunate to receive some good food items like salami, uncooked pasta, pork, and vegetables.
After organizing the groceries, I headed to the park that I had intended to visit earlier. Initially, I was annoyed because it started raining again when I stepped outside. However, I decided to give it a try and started biking. Fortunately, the rain stopped after about 10 minutes. I persevered for 30 minutes and finally reached the park, having covered a distance of 7 km. Let me tell you, the effort was absolutely worth it. The park was breathtaking, and the view of the city from there was stunning. I took some great pictures and then took a moment to appreciate the beauty around me, reflecting on how wonderful my life was in that moment. It brought me immense happiness.
I returned home by metro, feeling quite tired. At that point, I found myself tempted to sabotage my own progress by convincing myself that I didn't need to go for a run since I had already done enough exercise. However, I fought the mental battle and emerged victorious. I ended up going for a run on a cold night, pushing my limits further. Remember how my goal was to run the entire park by next Tuesday? Well, I achieved it today through sheer determination and visualization. I was thrilled with my accomplishment, despite feeling tired and experiencing body aches after two hours of running. It's a great feeling.
And that wraps up today's events. Now, I'll have some dinner and do some reading. Tomorrow, I plan to apply for a job at a supermarket and, if possible, go to the disco with some friends. If not, I might go watch the Spiderman movie, "Across the Spider-Verse." Exciting times lie ahead!
See you all tomorrow!
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2023.06.09 06:47 Spirited-Extent-1101 Feeling [34 M] increasingly disconnected from wife [35 F]. Are we done and I just can admit it to myself?
We've been together for 13 years, married for 9. Have a kid.
Early into the relationship, she had encounters a series of professional and personal setbacks, was quite severely depressed for a whole year or so, and has never worked since, mainly because of completely out-of-touch demands for a job. She "tried" looking for an imaginary inexistent perfect job for 2-3 years, then eventually realized it will never happened, and settled on being a housewife.
During her depression, I was, as per her own words, "extremely supportive, more than anyone, and more than she could have expected", despite some repeated difficulties and breaches of trust on her part (such as using my credit card for compulsive shopping to alleviate her depressive mood -- this happened a few times during that first year, but never since). Her unproductive job searching in the following years were extremely stressful for me, not because of her not working/not contributing to the household income, but rather because of her genuine belief that she'd find a position for which she had no qualification whatsoever. I had to learn to avoid this topic altogether and not to give my opinion in order to avoid either arguments or tears. I adapted rather quickly, but I would never feel completely at ease with her, as I couldn't share everything I was thinking with her anymore -- a part of myself I had to conceal from her.
We had a few otherwise happy years. I worked like crazy to provide for both of us, and make sure she's not missing anything. I won't go into details, but suffice to say, I don't know anyone who is working as much as I do in my -- very stressful -- field, let alone for as long as I did. I do about 1.5 to 2.5 times the usual workload. In return, he made sure to be the perfect housewife, taking care of food, cleaning, and so forth. I essentially only had to bring the money.
Then, after a few miscarriages (which took their toll on both of us, but obviously mostly on her), we had a kid. Ever since, she shifted her 100% of her attention on the kid: house not cleaned for weeks, mountains of dirty dishes everywhere (and not cleaned for up to 1-2 weeks sometimes), you can imagine the picture.
Now, I understand that taking care of child is a full time job, especially during the first few months, and I couldn't really help out all that much with childcare and house chores, not because I didn't want to, but because I physically could not to. Oftentimes, I have less than 6 hours off between two workdays, and I have to sleep sometime, too. I helped as much as I could when I could though (and I admit, that was not often).
That being said, despite being overwhelmed, she also refused any reasonable solutions, such as daycare, for instance, which also caused some arguments as I have always believed that daycare is also important for socialization.
Being always tired, she became increasingly short-tempered and snappy, to the point I grew reluctant to tell her when I'm hungry. Most of the time, she would make me food, but one time out of ten, she would respond with something snappy : "do you think I have nothing better to do?", "you can wait till tomorrow", or with some kind of passive-agressive muttering. There is a kind of catch-22 situation, here, as she very strongly dislikes me using the kitchen, because she's very OCD about where each utensil should go, whereas I am very sloppy, and I always end up misplacing something.
I have repeatedly tried communicating to her that I understand her being tired, but I'm tired too, and I'd appreciate her simply stating the fact that she's busy/tired, without sarcasm, especially given that I never make a scene when she cannot cook or clean or anything else I might ask her to do. To no avail.
So to wrap it up, the more it went on, the more stressed and anxious I become, literally anxious interacting with her because I am always afraid of the next thing that will set her off, and always painfully aware than any peaceful stretch is temporary and fleeting. I have to say that a great deal of the situation is on me, as I got "sensitized" and even minor things can make me feel rejected and anxious, probably through a combination of repetition and apprehension.
In short, I get so anxious and sad that I can't even think straight, and my reaction is to stonewall to avoid further stress. I know stonewalling is bad and immature, but I can't help it, even though the fact of stonewalling stressed me out too (because I know it's hurtful), but talking is even more overwhelming stressful.
This situation degenerated to the present state of affairs, where I have been sleeping on a cot in the garage for the last 3 weeks, barely talking to her except when absolutely necessary, and avoiding looking at her. I am seriously anxious about mending things, because I am all too aware that this will happen again, and again, and again. At least, right now, my senses are somewhat numb, so it's less painful that living a few weeks of peace (always fearful of it ending any time), and the feeling the pain of rejection once again. Simply writing this paragraph, my heart is already thumping and my ears are ringing :(
Anyways, the thing is that despite me still loving her, and wanting the best for her, she stresses me out so much I don't even see a way out.
I just had a dinner celebrating the retirement of a coworker, and for a few hours I didn't think of wife, and it felt so liberating that it even feels wrong and guilt-inducing. And that's what motivated me to post this.
tl;dr: Relationship at a dead-end, and I panic at the idea of working on it despite still loving her. Should I call it quits?
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2023.06.09 06:46 eatingtabs It finally arrived…
So, just about two-ish weeks ago i ordered 1 gram of 10x from SS. i dont know when it came because i got back from a week trip today and found it put through my mail slot. Opening it up and seeing that baggie with the leaves gave me goosebumps all over. Im fairly experienced with psychedelics although I know its nowhere near comparison. Since I somewhat know to expect a level of craziness ive never experienced where should i start? Obviously I want to start small and work my way up but what would be the best way to go about that? I dont have a scale that can accurately weigh Mg but i figured sectioning out the pile into 10 is a good enough way to get 100mg piles and then split it further from there? I just want to know where you guys would recommend i start and how would be the best way to go about it. I have my little bong and little torch lighter. Only thing im wondering is dosage. Im also planning on going to a grassy patch in a park with my girlfriend to watch over me just so i dont break anything or hurt myself if things go south for some reason. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks!
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2023.06.09 06:45 screechypete I'm(28M) going to ask my stepdad if I can legally change my last name to his.
This is something I've thought about doing for a while now. Since I'm going to miss spending father's day with him this year due to work, I've decided I'm going to pull the trigger. I can't think of a better gift than letting him know I fully accept him as my dad and that I want to carry his name throughout the rest of my life! I'm sharing this here because I can't talk about it without getting emotional and happy crying, but I have to tell someone because of how happy and excited I am about this! There's a little bit of a back story here but I'm hoping after I share it, you'll understand why I have so much respect for this amazing man and why I want to do this.
To put things bluntly, my father was not a good man. I won't go into details, but I will say that he was verbally and physically abusive to both me and my little brother. He walked out on us when I was around 10, and even though I didn't know it at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to us. He may have been gone, but the damage was already done and I didn't know how to process him leaving us. Combine that with the trauma he inflicted on us, and I was the definition of a demon child. I'd throw daily tantrums and lash out at everyone and everything around me, and was constantly getting in trouble at school because of it. I had to change schools, and we went through so many different baby sitters because I was too much to handle. I honestly still feel bad about the things I said and did that made the job of trying to raise me extremely difficult for my mom. She is an amazing woman who didn't deserve any of what I put her through, especially since she was raising me and my brother on her own and just barely making ends meet.
We were on our own for maybe a year when me and my brother met my stepdad. Let's call him Tom for the purposes of the story. I know they met on a phone dating service, but I'm not sure how long they were seeing each other before we met him. Regardless of that though, after seeing all the horror stories about step parents... I'm honestly so thankful that my mom got things right and found a good one on the first try! IMO they did everything right in regards to introducing my brother and I to him. He came over to our house and my mom introduced him to us as simply her friend. Not her boyfriend, our new dad, stepdad or anything like that because she didn't want to confuse us in case things didn't work out. He even brought his dog (Toblerone or Toby for short) with him and me and my brother played with him for a few hours while the adults hung out. TBH I don't really remember much of what we talked about with Tom. He was just my mom's cool friend that brought his dog over for us to play with, but Tom must have thought things went well because we started seeing more of him as my mom started spending more time with him. I was still a demon child though and I did have a couple meltdowns and temper tantrums while Tom was around, but he just sat back and watched as my mom dealt with me and somehow I didn't scare him off.
After a few months, Mom and Tom sat both me and my brother down and my mom told us that Tom was now officially her boyfriend. I asked them if that meant that Tom was our new dad and Tom took over and started talking to my brother and I. He told us that he loves our mom and that we can call him whatever whatever we want. Tom was really good about not forcing us to see him a certain way, or call him dad or any of that stuff. He was just Tom, my mom's new boyfriend. Once they made it official, we slowly started to meet other members of Tom's family. He has a big family, but no kids of his own. Things were going well enough that when thanksgiving rolled around, we went to go spend it with Tom's family. Unfortunately thanksgiving was a disaster... I had a meltdown in front of Tom's entire family, and I was chasing his nephew (Who had a broken foot and crutches) around the house yelling that I hated him and I was yelling death threats at him. Somehow though even after doing this and embarrassing both Tom and my Mom in front of Tom's entire family, Tom stuck around and tried his best because of how much he loved my mom. I honestly have no idea how he didn't head for the hills after that, because there's no way I would be able to put up with someone like me if I were in his shoes.
My brother and I started seeing a child therapist shortly after Tom came into our lives, and it helped a lot, but I was still a demon child and I didn't really mellow out until I was around 14 and went to high school. Even though it was only 2-3 years, that part of my life feels like it lasted much longer than that. Tom is a much better man than I could ever hope to be, and he's the person that I respect most in this world. Even though I was a nightmare to deal with, he never gave up on us and he did everything he could to try and support us. He wasn't perfect, but he tried his best and did everything in his power to try and raise my brother and I like we were his own kids. Most importantly he never laid a hand on me because he knew about the trauma that had been inflicted on me and my brother because of my father. He and his family loved and accepted us and were very patient with me regardless of all the shit that I would do. They never made me feel like I wasn't loved or that they didn't want me around. Tom may not be my father, but he is my dad and I am so thankful to have him in my life. Without him, I wouldn't be the man that I am today. He taught me how to always look for the good in people and no matter how bad things may seem, that things will always get better. He and my mom have been together for almost 20 years now and they are still so in love with each other that it almost seems like no time has passed for them at all. I'm excited, happy and nervous and I'm probably going to ugly cry after I ask Tom if I can change my last name to his.
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2023.06.09 06:45 bodg123 I've accepted love likely isn't in the cards for me, along with many other things.
I'm 33 years old with absolutely no prospects. I live at home with my mother.
My teeth are terrible. Poor dental hygiene and terrible eating habits for years. At one point I probably didn't know any better, but once you are old enough you should. I guess I didn't understand why I should care. It's something I am now painfully aware of. Any potential love interest will instinctively think 'ick' 'gross' when they see me smile. I am missing 4 teeth, 2 need to be removed still. On the plus side, I fell into enough money to start getting implants put in. I will be in debt with my mother or the dentist depending on how it shakes out. This has been eye opening enough for me to start saving $1000 a month(about %50 of my income) so I can actually complete the work. My teeth will still be off white, but my cavaties will be gone, my rotting teeth out of my mouth, and I will be able to eat properly.
I have no education, and at this point it would take more support than I have to change that. I don't have the will to overcome that obstacle alone. Not to mention I need a full time income to get the above done as well as be prepared for anything life could throw at me.
I don't have a good relationship with my mother but I have no where else to go and no one else. I have 2 large dogs( 1 over 100lb, the other 80lb). That means even if I could afford to leave down the line, I'd need to rent a house. I have no other comparisons and I've never rented, but a 3bd 1bath is 2650 plus utilities. That's like 1250 with 3 people or 1900 with 2. That would be over half my income and id have to find 2 people who can understand the reactive nature of my dogs as well as the noise a great pyrenees makes. They don't hurt people, but can fight each other if they get overexcited and are too close to each other. I seperate them when I'm not there and my current home has enough room for them to both be inside the kitchen without threatening each other's space. I walk a fine line and have learned to manage them through the errors that I have made in the past. When I think about all that, the only thing keeping me from not wanting to live here is the stigma. I live in a small 2 bedroom on a decent lot. My mom just built an Adu for my brother. I currently don't pay rent but am going to once my teeth are paid off.
I don't have a good job or the kind of outgoing personality you need to make connections and move up quickly. I have a good work ethic, I do my job well. I've tried applying for the only other position at my job that I don't feel is a lateral move(and that I want to do) but I haven't had any luck. I had one interview once but I don't think it went all that well. It felt awkward. I haven't tried looking for positions outside my current employer. I guess I don't wanna have a commute again, or think I will find more than I'm currently making. All that to say, without some stroke of dumb luck, my financial situation is unlikely to change. I will likely never own a house. You simply cannot afford to buy a house on minimum wage. I'm making 20 an hour atm which is a jump from my employer paying me 13-14 and my previous employer paying me 10. I've only ever made slightly above minimum. My income has only went up because minimum wage has went up. Currently it's 15.50. Although now I have a bigger cushion, everything keeps getting more expensive. Only my cannabis costs have went down. My mother's house was 175 in 2010. In 2021 before she built the Adu having done absolutely no maintenance, it went up to 475. With what I'm making now, I could have saved up for a down-payment on the price of 175k or even found something for 150. It's just not doable. Even in the areas that were just coming up and selling homes for less than a 100k are now 300 400+.
With all this, I still find myself picky in my love life. The caliber of woman I want is one I'm just not worthy of. I don't want to settle for anyone who sends a smile my way. I want the kind of connection where my gut is screaming at me, with the kind of beauty that would catch my attention from across the room. I had this once before so I know it exist, but now I'm an ageing man with nothing to show for himself but the ravages of time.
The most realistic outcome I can come for is making a good friend or two, and having enough spare change to travel to other countries. I don't have any friends or acquaintances currently. Owning property and love are more than likely not in the cards for me. I'd be lieing if I said this life is worth living, but I still pray I get kept around for at least 15 more years. If I die, my dogs will have no one.
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2023.06.09 06:40 tashu_gudokin Serotoninned Morning
2023.06.09 06:39 SumpthinSumpthin Harem collection games
Searching this group, I'm not finding much about the harem collection games which are my PA/SA's primary method of acting out. As in, he blew through $7k in savings buying, romancing, and outfitting his many collections of 'waifus.' Much included XXX straight up sex, and he was playing them while working at his job in an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
We have many other issues with him having BPD, stalking his ex (he took a job over an hour drive away in a super random location- 3 minutes from her new apartment), and general non-sexual compulsive lying. D-day was late September 2022, and even then he did not give up everything. I had to squeeze each drop of trickle-truth out. And then he became violent- in reaponse to me being creeped out to have sex with him. And smashed many things in our new house on many occasions. He defends his vast collection of interactive waifus even over our marriage, kids, my sanity etc.. All while lying his ass off that he will quit (knowing full well he feels entitled to what he is doing).
Well it's happened again; the money trail led there but he was a step ahead and wiped out the new secret email address, secret all-porn Steam account etc. I can see and he admitted they exist- just sanitized and no details for me to be tortured by I guess.
He is extremely defensive when caught, calls me bitch over and over, even in front of our marriage counselor. Then flips back to the hollow apologies. And lies to her and I. I've taken to recording conversations.
I feel messed up, brain fog; I need to get out but am scared I'll miss him, the hassle of divorce, losing the house and so on. We have kids, a mortgage, and a Disney trip planned next month that IDK how the hell I will get through.
I can't be the only one cheated with, discarded for ... cartoons? But I sure feel like the only one. Even loads of women acting like the gacha collection is "so fun!" Ugh.
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2023.06.09 06:39 briejamsandwich Therapy is expensive. How to heal for free?
Therapy is insanely expensive for me since I don't have any work insurance or anything to cover even half of the sessions. It is also extremely frustrating for me to find the right therapist I can work with because it takes so much time to find someone you click with.
Content Warning: Usage of drugs/magic mushrooms
To be honest, (not promoting it) psychedelic therapy on my own had been the most helpful for me to break through my freeze state. By that, I mean that mushrooms have helped me experience so much love and compassion for myself for the first time in my life. I also gain a lot of new helpful perspectives on myself and my life thanks to consuming a good amount of mushrooms.
I wouldn't say that mushrooms had been too helpful for me when it comes to my trauma. I feel like there are still some big blocks that I have in my subconscious that even mushrooms can't break through yet. Usually, I just remind myself to be kind to myself and that I am worthy of everything I want to have in my life, and that's about it. I haven't gotten any help with processing my traumatic childhood memories with mushrooms yet. I've heard that people who consume an insane amount of psychedelics maybe do have some huge breakthroughs, but I am too terrified to do it.
So like yeah. EMDR therapy is too expensive for me and I don't feel like it's been too helpful in processing my childhood memories. I am liking IFS therapy though. I am definitely going to continue consuming mushrooms in a safe way, but I want to know if it's possible to work through this freeze state without spending an outrageous amount of money on therapy.
I am also at a point in my life where I am physically vulnerable. As in I have absolutely 0 support system irl, facing homelessness, and only have one job vulnerable. I feel so unsafe that I think my financial anxiety contributes to my freeze state. Cutting out my biweekly EMDR therapy will absolutely help me save more money but yeah. I need to know other people's experiences.
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