Hello! I'm a somewhat famous hiker who's backpacked all over the country and climbed all of our major peaks and hiked nearly all of our national parks. I fell in Guadalupe last fall and tore my ACL+meniscus. I had surgery a few weeks ago after 6 long months of denial about the seriousness of my injury. I am recovering quickly which is great news, and I think I'll be able to hike again, but not this year. I need to spend the next ~9 months training to hike the PCT. All I have to hike in my area is a small hill which is only like half a mile long, but very steep. I usually do my training here, by going up and down it like 10-20 times a day, but I am so unbelievably tired of doing that. I also attract crowds at the trailhead and I'm tired of it. I need better ways to get into shape that don't cost a lot of money. I'm not a gym person, either. I hate gyms because there's always women there dressed like harlots trying to get my attention. Very annoying.
Anyway, what kind of mileage should I be able to do by the time I start the PCT? I was going to get a permit for NOBO in mid-march. I want to out pace the bubble and get ahead, and stay ahead, because I hate hiking with tons of other people. I want solitude.

1. The Pirates' Dock Ellis was tripping on acid when he threw a no-hitter against the Padres on June 12, 1970. The right hander mistakenly believed he wasn't scheduled to pitch until the next day, so he dropped acid with a friend around noon. Two hours later, he realized he was supposed to pitch THAT NIGHT.
2. Monica Seles was the number one ranked women's tennis player in the world when, during a match at the 1993 Hamburg Open, an obsessed fan of rival tennis star Steffi Graf leaned onto the court and stabbed Seles in the back with a boning knife. The knife plunged an inch and a half deep between Seles's shoulder blades. Thankfully, Seles had leaned forward to drink water a second before the attack, saving herself from much more severe injuries. She was raced to the hospital and released a few days later.
3. Eddie Gaedel — a little person who stood 3'7” tall — became the shortest player in major league history on August 19, 1951 when he stepped to the plate for the St. Louis Browns against the Detroit Tigers. The Browns were a bad team (they went 52–102 in 1951) with an owner, Bill Veeck, who pulled a lot of stunts to get fans into the stadium. Gaedel's appearance was one of them.
4. Manon Rhéaume became the first woman to play in the National Hockey League in 1992 when she played goaltender for the Tampa Bay Lightning in a pre-season game against the St. Louis Blues. She played one quarter, allowing two goals and blocking seven shots. While she never made a regular-season NHL roster, she appeared in another pre-season game for the Lightning the following year, and played in the minor leagues between 1992 and 1997, becoming the first woman to appear in a professional regular season game.
5. Nearly five decades earlier, Toni Stone not only became the first woman to play in the Negro Leagues, but the first woman to be a regular on a big league professional baseball team. She signed to play second base for the 1953 Indianapolis Clowns (Hank Aaron was a member of the team the previous year), and played in 50 games, hitting a respectable .243. She played with the Kansas City Monarchs the following year before retiring to become a nurse.
6. Freddy Adu — a 14-year-old soccer prodigy from Ghana — become the youngest person ever to play for a major league sports team when he took the field on April 3, 2004 for D.C. United against the San Jose Earthquakes. Two weeks later, he became the youngest player to score a goal in Major League Soccer history. Despite his young start and comparisons to soccer legend Pelé, Adu went on to have an un-extraordinary journeyman career, playing on 15 different teams over the next couple decades.
7. On the flip side, the legendary Hall of Fame pitcher Satchel Paige became the oldest person ever to appear in a major league game when — at age 58 — he took the mound for the Kansas City A's against the Boston Red Sox.
8. On March 2, 1962, basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain scored a staggering 100 points in one game for the Philadelphia Warriors against the New York Knicks. This is perhaps sports' most unbreakable record, with only Kobe Bryant coming anywhere close to matching it, when — 44 years later in 2006 — he scored a comparatively paltry 81 points.
9. In a spring training game on March 24, 2001, the Diamondbacks' Hall of Fame pitcher Randy Johnson hurled a 98-miles-per-hour fastball that hit and killed a bird that had the misfortune of flying into its path. The batter, San Francisco Giants' outfielder Calvin Murray, told the Athletic, "My initial reaction was the ball had exploded. I thought it was a practical joke or something, that he threw some tricked-up exploding baseball. It just took a minute for it to process."
10. Amazingly, fellow Hall of Famer Dave Winfield had a similar experience in 1983. The Yankee was warming up in the outfield in a game against the Toronto Blue Jays when he threw a ball that hit and killed a seagull.
11. Lastly, Ed Head — a left-handed pitching phenom — was just 15 years old when tragedy struck. He was riding a bus with his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder when the bus collided with another oncoming bus, knocking him unconscious. When he came to, he saw his girlfriend was dead and that his left arm had been ripped from its socket and was dangling by a thread. After a long surgery, doctors managed to avoid amputating his left arm, but told him he would never pitch again. Rather than give up, Head began the long process of teaching himself to throw right handed.

Link to article

⬇️ A TO Z ONLYFANS MEGA LINKS HERE⬇️

🟢 https://pastelink.net/2q2nli54

🟡 https://pastelink.net/2q2nli54

🔴 https://pastelink.net/2q2nli54

❤️‍🔥Discord

https://discord.gg/ZVq58yMz24

Abbagail Peaches Abby Berner Abby Nicole Abby Rao Abella Danger Abigail Morris Abigail Ratchford Addissona KaLori Adianababyxo Adriana Chechik Adriana Olivarez Aella Girl Aida Cortes Airikacal Alahnaly Ale Bernal Alemiarojas Alena Ostanova Alena Witch Aletta Ocean Alex Coal Alex Mucci Alexa Pearl Alexandra Quiroz Alexandra Smelova Alexas Morgan Alexia Rae Alexis Sky Alexis Texas Alice Bong Alice Delish Alice NZ Alina Belle Alina Lando Alina Rose Alinago Aline Faria Aline Mineiro Alinity Alishba Sheikh Alison Parker Alissa Violet Alix Lynx AlliSlimThiccinger Ally Lotti Alva Jay Amanda Cerny Amanda Nicole Amanda Trivizas Amber Hayes Amber Jade Amber Moore Amber Rose AmbsOfficialXO Amgermg Amira West Amirah Dyme Amouranth Amy Rose Amy Song Ana Lorde Ana Paula Saenz AnaCheri Anastasia Kvitko Andiecase Andrea Alaya Andrea Bergeron Angel Wicky Angela White Angelysc Angie Varona Anike Ekina AnimaeChan Anisa Johma Anllela Sagra Anna Beggion Anna Curvy Anna Malygon Anna Paul Anna Zapala Anri Okita Anuskha Sen Apples Ellie April Olsen Arabteen Bella Jameel Aria Taylor Ariella Ferrera Arizona Sky Arpa Roy Ash Kaash Ashley Tervort AshprincessMidna AspenRae Astrid Wett Audrey Shanice Aussie Ass Autumn Falls Ava Addams Ava Austen Ava Kox Avalon Hope Ayatan Ayumi Anime AyyeJae Baby Bianca Bad Penelope BaeBreanna Bambi Doe Barbie Gamers Barbie Nunez Becca Marie Becky Crocker Bella Luna Bella Poarch Bella Ramos Bella Thorne Belle Delphine Belle Jade BethanyLily Bhad Bhabie Bianca Anchieta Bianca Beauchamp BigTittyGothEgg Bishoujomom Blahgigi Blair Winters Blake Blossom Blonde Fit Blondie Fesser Body Teen Bombshell Mint Bonnie Locket BootyByShells Brandi Love Brandie Braids Brandy Renee Bree Louise Bria Myles Brianna Amor Brittany Elizabeth Brittany Jones Brittanya Adeline Brittanya Razavi Brndav BronkMommy Bunny Colby BurchTwins Calita Sweetz CallMeSloo Capbarista - urfavcoffegurl Carlie Marie Carly Lawrence Carmela Habibi Carmen Pritchet Carolina Bell CarrotCake Cece Rose Celina Smith Celine Centino Charli D'Amelio Charly Jordan Chelseagreen Chely Nazario Cherie DeVille Cherry Crush Cheryl Blossom Cheyenne Celin Chicaiza Chinese Kitty Chloe Difatta Chloe Khan Christina Khalil Chromita Cj Miles Clara00Ellis Coconut Kitty Combat Barbie Connie Perignon Corinna Kopf Courtney Tailor Crystal Lust Crystal Westbrooks Csblondebombshell Daalischus Rose Dabofkya Dainty Wilder Daisy Keech Dani Daniels Dani Tabares Dania Altamirano Daniella Chavez Danielley Ayala Danii Banks Danyancat Darla Dimples Darshelle Stevens Debbie StPierre Deerbxby Demi Rose Denise Richards Destiny Skye Devorah Roloff Diamond Kitty Didiwinx DietCherry Diora Baird DJMiu - Miu Taeng DoubleDoseTwins Dredd Dulce Soltero Dulcinea Elena Kamperi Elisa Aline Ella Knox Elle Brooke Ellie Leen Elsa Jean Emanuelly Raquel EmarrB Emily Black Emily Cheree Emily Elizabeth Emily Faye Miller Emily Knight Emily Lynne Emily Renee Emily Rinaudo Emily Willis Emma Kotos Emma Magnolia EmmaLVX/Bunni Emmie EROME Eva Andressa Eva Lovia Eva Martinez Eva Violet Evalodimelo Faii Orapun Faith Lianne FanyShark Fatima Segovia Faye Miah FeGalvao Fernanda Mota Farhat Fie Laursen - Pregnant Mommy Filippa Fransson Fiona Allison FitFaithxo Francesca Farago Francesca Trisini Francia James - Francety Frecklemonade FwTina Gabbie Carter Gabbie Hanna Gabriella Ellyse Gaby Gardez Gatita Yan Gemma Wren Gene Marquinez Genesis Mia Lopez Georgia Carter Ghetto Barbie Gigardez Gil Jung Gina Laitschek Gina Savage Giuliana Cabrazia Goddess Angelina Grace Boor Grace Charis Grace Coffey Gwen Gwiz Hailey Queen Halle Hayes Hana Senpai HANA_C4 Hannah Nicole Kast HannahOwO Happy Yulia Harmony Reigns Heidy Grey Heidy Pino HeyImBee HiMyNameIsTee Hitomi Tanaka Hot4Lexi IceSpice Iggy Azalea Imanijyne IndiaLove Indica Flower Indigo White Isabella Buscemi Isabella Miller Isabella Ramirez Isla Moon Isla Summer Its Kaai Its Randalin Ivy Lebelle Izzy Green Jaaden Kyrelle JackieLove Jackson Maddy Jacky Ramirez Jada Stevens Jade Jayden JadeTeen Jailyn Ojeda Jailyne Ojeda Ochoa Jane Lucier Jane Soul Janna Breslin Jem Wolfie Jen Bret Jenna Charlette Jenna Ortega Jenna Shea Jenni Neidhart Jennifer Ponce Jessa Rhodes Jesse Jane Jessi Tron Jessica Nigri Jessica Sunok Jhonni Blaze Jill Hardener JizzJazz Jocy Cosplay Joey Fisher Johnny Sins Joselis Johana Juanita Belle Julia Rose Juliana Bonda Pack Julie Jess Justaminx Kalani Rogers Karely Ruiz Karinairbyy Karma Rx Karolina Mrozicka Katalina Kyle Katiana Kay Katie Cummings Katie Sigmond Katja Krasavice Katrina Jade Katrina Thicc KattLeya Kayla Simmons Kayle4Keeps Kaylen Ward Kaylin Garcia Kazumi Squirts KcBabyy Kebabs0verabs Keilah Kang Keiran Lee Keisha Grey Keishly Marie KenCake Kendal Jenner Kendra Karter Kendra Lust Kendra Sunderland Kenzie Madison Kenzie Reeves Kiara Mia Kiera Young KikiUndercover Kiley Corsello Kim Kardashian Kimmy Granger Kinsey Wolanski Kissa Sins Kit Mercer Kitty Ellen KittyXkum KiwiSunsett KKVSH Kneevo Kristen Hancher Kwuanisknnylegend Kylie Jenner Kym Graham Kyra Santoro Lacey Laid Laci Kay Somers Lady Sonia Lala Anthony Lana Rhoades Lana Rose LaSirena Laura Earnesty Lauren Alexis Lauren Elizabeth Lauren Summer Layna Boo Lazaniaze Lazano Lazelle Lazybutthead Leah Goes Wilde Leana Lovings Leichtperlig Lela Sohna Lena Paul Lena The Plug Lenina Crowne LeoLulu Lexi Luna Lil Pump Lilded Janet Lilianaheartsss Lilith Cavalier Lindsey Pelas Linneas Linny Hill Lisa Ann Little Angel Little Caprice LittlmissFit Liz Cambage Lizbeth Rodriguez Lizzy Wurst Loren Gray Louisa Khovanski LoveLilah Lucia Manfredi Ludmii Alderete Luma Skye Luna Alessandra Luna Star LupuWellness Luxury Girl Lydia Grace LylasBigHeart Lyna Perez Lyna Perez MaareBeaar Mackenzie Ziegler Mackz Jones Madelene Wright Madison Ginley Madison Ivy Madison Moore Malu Trevejo Mamibree Mandy Rose Mandy Rose Maria Arreghini Maria Eduarda Maria Eugenia Maria Gjieli Maria Nagai grwz Mariah Mallad Mariana Cruz Martina Finocchio Martina Vismara Maru Karv Mary Moody Mataya Sweeting Mathild Tantot Mati Marroni Mckinzie Valdez Me1adinha Meana Wolf Meeti Kalher Meg Turney Megan McCarthy Megnut Mela Moria MelimTX Melissa Debbling Melody Rabbit Mia Azul Mia Francis Mia Khalifa Mia Malkova Michelle Rabbit Michelle Zepeda Mikaela Fuente Mikaela Pascal Mikaela Testa Mikahhlynn Mikaila Murphy Mikaylah Milan Mirabella Milf And Daughter Millie Bobby Brown Mimsy Bun Mimsy Heart Mini Loona MissBnasty MissCindyTran MizzTwerksum Molly Eskam Morgan Vera Moriah Mills Ms Fiire Ms Sethi MsPuiyi Mulan Vuitton Murka Valentin Nacre Victoire NakarySp Nala Fitness Naomi Soraya Naomi Swann Nara Ford NataLee Natali Polyakova Natalia Fadeev Natalie Coppes Natalie Reynolds Natalie Roush Natasha Aughey Natasha Nice Neiva Mara Neringa Kriziute NickiiBaby Nicola Cavanis Nicole Aniston Nicoletta Shea Nikki Woods Niykee Heaton Noelle Leyva NoemieLili NonaKanal Noonz_Supattra Nurababy Nursh Nyukixthequeen Octokuro Olivia Casta eqad Only Jayus Paige Nieman Paige VanZant Paloma Silva Pamibaby Pandora Blue Pandora Kaaki Pandoranyxie Paola Skye Payton Preslee PeachJars Penelope Kay Phoenix Marie Piabunny Pinuppixie Pokimane Polina Malinovskaya Poonam Pandey Povlotti Princesa_Ari Princess Helayna Ptwithally Purple Bitch Rachel Cook Rachel Dolezal Rae Lil Black Rakhi Gill Ramona_Jst Rebecca Crocker Reislin Rena Tari Reya Sunshine Rharrirhound Rihanna Riley Reid Riley Reid Rosa Acosta Roxystylez Rubi Rose Ruby Salvo Rusty Fawkes Sabrina Nichole Sahlt Sailormoon Samantha Aufderheide Samie Duchamp Sara Gold Sara Mascara Sara Retali Sara Underwood Sarah Banks Sarrixo Sava Schultz Savannah Bond Scarlett Jones Scarlett Kisses Scarlit Scandal Sejinming Selena Gomez Seltin Sweety htxr Serinide Shady Shainarae Shaiden Rogue Shamayneg ShiftyMine ShunliMei Sincerely Juju Sky Bri Skye Sutton Skylar Rae Skylar Vox SkylarMaexo Skyler Lo Smashedely SnackyChan Sofia Ansari Sofia Elizabeth Sofia Gomez Sofia Simens SolaZola Solomia Maievska Sommer Ray Songyuxin Hitomi Sophie Dee Sophie Mudd Sophie Mudd Sophie Rose Sophie Vanmeter Stacey Saran Stacia Maria Steffy Moreno Stella Brooks Stella Violet Steph Kegels Stormi Maya STPeach StrawberryShan Summer Hart Sunny Leone Sunny Ray SusyGala Svenska Tjejer Svetabily SydneyVmay SyrianQueen - AMBS Taliya Jordan Tamzintaber Tana Mongeau Taneth Gimenez Tara Babcock zxvwre Tasyamini Tayler Hills Taylor White Teanna Trump Tessa Winters Thaissa Fit TheConnellTwins TheDanDanglerr TheRealBrittFit Thumbalina Tiiieeen Toni Camille Toochi Kaash Trisha Paytas TroyaChan Turkish Amateur Teens Tyga UhhLiar Uhvenyu Ur4vity Urbzz Urindianbae Utah Jaz Valentina Garzon Valentina Nappi Valeria Alejandrav Valerie Kay Valkyrae Vanessa Bohorquez Vera Dijmans Veronica Perasso Vicky Stark Victoria Barret Victoryaxo Viet Bunny Viking Barbie Vina Sky Violet Myers Violet Summers Vita Celestine Vivi Tarantino Vladislava Voulezj Waifu Mia Wbery Wetkitty Whiptrax Woe Senpai Xenoncos Xev Bellringer Ximena Sanchez XoXo Xxapple Yael Cohen Yanet Garcia zxgw YareLyLy YikeSaiko YinyLeon Yisela Avendano Yumisin Yungfreckz Zahra Elise Zara Jordan Zoey Sinn Zoie Burgher boobs, ass, tits, tiktok, nudes, naked, sextape, porn, leak, leaked, leaks, nsfw, onlyfans, mega, discord, telegram, new, OF, latest, corina, corrina, megnutt02, megnutt, mackzjones, charli, dixie, damelio, d amelio, waifumia Abby Lynn Abrie Baby Addison Ivy Aery Tiefling Aestra Azure Alaska Clarke Alexandra Daddario Aidra Fox Alina Becker Alina Lopez Allie Cat Alyri Alyssa Alessio Alyx Star Ameliasocurvy Anissakate Annabgo Anna Louise Anne Moore Aria Banks Aria Lee Ariana Mumtaz Ari Kytsya Asha Miller Ashhxlynxx Ashley Alban Ashley Danielle Ashley got Ashley Matheson Ashley Rey Asianbarbietina Asian Candy Asianmochi Audrey and Sadie August Taylor Austin White Autumn Renae Autumnsbum Ava Nicks Azalyastar Babyjey Babymalaya Babyprincesskai Babyrayxxx Bailey Brooke Bambitwo Bapricorn Bar6ie6 Bbygurlmax Bbystar Beatrice Segreti Belinda Nohemy Bella Jameel Bellamay Bella Rayee Bella Rome Belle Barbie Belle Olivia Belinda Nohemy Billie Ellish BlackWidof Blair Williams Blinkx Bootylikeabackroad/Gianna J Brandi Sheri Bratzmon Breckie Hill Brenda Trindade Brenda Vanessa Briadeline Brianna Amor Bridgette B fasd42 Briea Harm Bronwin Aurora Bubblebratz Bundleofbec Bunni.emmie Bunniemai1591 Bunni3png Byoru Callmesherni Canela Skin Carolina Samani Catgirl Cecilia Lion Cardi B Carli Nicki Cassie Curses Celina Powell Charlotte Emerson Charlotte Parkes Chelsea Wilde Chelxie Cherry Apricots Chloe Rannoch Chrissy Knox Chulaslim Cierra Mistt Clarababylegs/clarakitty Coconey Connell Twins Cottonkelly Cutepowerlegs Daisy Drew Dakota Jade Dakota James Dakota Johnson Dana Hamm Dan Dangler Dani Fae Danilanio Dawn Marie Devon Jenelle Dia Kimeko DickForLily DoubleDoseTwins Effycutiexx Elisa Esposito Elizabeth Olsen Elizabeth Vasilenko Eliza Ibarra Ellalx0x Elle Knox Elliesapplepie Ellyandnick Elsa Love Emirafoods Emjaybird EmjayPlays Emmmyxo Ennid Wong Erotic Medusa Erxticgoddess Erzabel Esmeeteaches Eva Elfie Fairyalexx FatherKels Fareeha Bakir Fetching Butterflies Fiamurr Fifigirl9 Fitchick_em Fit Emily Foopah Frootbabie Gal Gadot Gii Xoxo69 Gina Valentina Ginger Lure Giulia Rosa Gracie Waifu Gthatass Gwendolyn Celine Haley Spades Hannah Hughes Hannah Palmer HannaMiller HardForEva Helen Ivy Hime Tsu Hitomi fsaw4 Hoehuxtable Honey Gold Husvjjal Iamangelinadeep Ilanosh Immeganlive Inkedsophiie Iris black21 Isabella Rhoades Isabelle Eleanore Isisxox Ivanka Peach Ivana Knoll IzzyBunnies Jada Conbreezy Jade Lavoie Jade Kush Jaileen/Jaixpetite Jakara Baby Jakara Mitchell Jamelizzzz Jasmineteaa Jasmyn2juicey / Kaylee4keeps Jazvip Jenna Chew Jenna Lynn Meowri Jessica Weaver Jewelz Blu Jia Lissa Joanniefit JOracekuJO Josephine Jackson JuicyFakku Just-Wingit Kaelundeen KaileGoh Kaitlyn/k8lyn096 Kalinka Fox Kate Kuray Katie Milkers Katsokinky Katti Colour Kaylani Lei Kazumi's World Kelli Carter Key Chicaiza Kiko Baka Kiley Lynn Kim Brûlée Kiyomi Leslie Kristen Kindle Kkimkkimmy Lady In The Streets Lana Bee Laura Lux Lauren Jasmine LauraSahar Lauren Burch Lasirena69 Lavaxgrl Layla Brooks Layladeline Leah Larsh Lems7 Lena Kitsune Lena12 Leyna Inu Lilbussygirl Lilmochidoll Lilwaifulia Liya Perez Lily Phillips Lily Shams LillyVig Lina Belfiore Lindsay Capuano Littlespoonz Liya Silver Lolaxmina Loonassoftfeet LoveAngelica Low-keydeadinside Lucy Doll Lucy Mochi Lulu Chu fa13sc LydiaGh0st Lynarita Lyra Crow Maddy Belle Madiitay Madisonwilde Milakitten Maikonidesvip Margot Robbie Mariaaskyy Maria del Mar Mariam Hadid Marie Temara Marisol Yotta Mary Burke Meggyeggo Mei Kou Mei Minato Meladinha Mellooow Melwood Mercedes Blanche Mia Falls Mia Monroe Michelle Rabbit Mikayla Demaiter Mikki Marie Milababy69 Mila Sobolov Minavenetavip Miss Banana Miss Bunda Miss Dxxx Miss Lexa Misstiff Model_gg Molly X Moody Feet Morgpie Morganlanexo Motzie Mvngokitty Nanda Reyes Nataliexking Natalnya Natasha Noel Naya Dickson Nebraskawut Neiima Nicki Minaj Nicole Dobrikov Nikitaxkim / Nikita Cruze Nina Kayy Nnnnekochan Nonsalemwitch 53asfdg Norafawn Nymphet Angel Oakleyraeee Ocicat Officialzoerenea Oliviamaebae Okichloeo Olivia Eden Orphicbunny Paigeuncaged Paige Woolen Pantynectar Patricia Lopez Pengali Princess Phia Pixei Praewasian Prosexx Puppiwi P7oh7 Queen Needy Queenqawan Quinnfinite Quqco Railey Diesel Rainey James Razorbaby Realprettyangel RealSkyBri Redheadwinter Renata Riww RileyFans Romi Rain Rori Rain Rose Monroe Roxysdream SaabSilvi Saleemamansur Samantona Saucekaybaby Savana Sky Scarlett Johansson Scarlet Silva Senya Marin Shania Perrett Shinratensei98 Shycutie Siegex Sierra Cabot Skyexxxsummers Skyiiah Snaxychann Sienna Mae Gomez Skylar Blue Sofiallia Fiaax2 Safiyaax Sofia Mariana Sofia Silk Sophielaurenxxo Soogsx and Puppiwii Stella Barey Steffy Moreno Stefanie Gurzanski Steph Murves Summer Brookes Sweetie Fox Sydneymay Tahlia Hall Tanababyxo Tantot Twins Tayathegoddess TayTatted Tayylavie TheBaeBreanna Theesammyjo TheGorillaGrip htsxz Theprivateavocado Tiffanynhoe Tiny Texie Talia Mar Triplex Celeste Trippie Bri Trishyland Tru Kait Urfavbellabby Ur69baby Uwucatxoxo Valeria Vidal Vanessa.rhd Vanessa Sierra Vega Thompson Vero Gold Veronica Zolotova Vismara Martina Vyvan Le Wettmelons Whoahannahjo Whosbonnieandclyde Xailormoon Xenon Xlucy fds23 Yasmine Lopez Yololary YourSuggerBaby Yoya Grey Yummy Kimmy Yur Aular Zayla Skye Zipoz Zusje Addison Rae Faith Ordway Emily Ratajkowsk Emma Chamberlain Dixie D'Amelio Madison Beer Erin Gilfoy danielle bregoli

I was inspired by a recent post about everyone’s top 100 musicals. But here’s a challenge-top 80 musical theatre songs. I tried to do a top 100 list, but honestly it was harder than I thought to think of my favorite 100 broadway songs lol.
Here is my list (of course, this is all my opinion. Also these are in no particular order honestly).

1. Javert’s Suicide/Soliloquy - Les Mis
2. His Kiss, the Riot - Hadestown
3. Wait For it - Hamilton
4. Wheels of a Dream - Ragtime
5. Stars - Les Mis
6. The Music of the Night - Phantom
7. She Used to be Mine - Waitress
8. Confrontation - Jekyll and Hyde
9. Wait for me (Reprise) - Hadestown
10. Make Them Hear You - Ragtime
11. I Dreamed a Dream - Les Mis
12. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Les Mis
13. All I Ask (Reprise) - Phantom
14. If Ever I would Leave You - Camelot
15. Not While I’m Around - Sweeney
16. Requiem - Dear Evan Hansen
17. Satisfied - Hamilton
18. Always Starting Over - If/Then
19. Finishing the Hat - Sunday in the Park with George
20. I Can Do Better than That - The Last Five Years
21. Being Alive - Company
22. Always Better - Bridges of Madison County
23. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom
24. One Second in a Million Miles - Bridges of Madison County
25. No Good Deed - Wicked
26. This is Not Over - Parade
27. Shadowland - The Lion King
28. No One is Alone - Into the Woods
29. The Ladies Who Lunch - Company
30. All the Wasted Time - Parade
31. Do it Alone - Parade
32. Ride out the Storm - Some Like it Hot
33. Waiting for Life - Once on this Island
34. The Wizard and I - Wicked
35. What Baking Can Do - Waitress
36. Stars and the Moon - Songs for a New World
37. You Don’t Know this Man - Parade
38. It’s Quiet Uptown - Hamilton
39. Endless Nights - The Lion King
40. Dead Mom - Beetlejuice
41. The World Will Know - Newsies
42. Monster - Frozen
43. El Tango De Roxanne - Moulin Rouge
44. Home - Beetlejuice
45. Moments in the Woods - Into the Woods
46. The Confrontation - Les Mis
47. Burn - Hamilton
48. One Last Time - Hamilton
49. Good for You - DEH
50. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story - Hamilton
51. Everything Changes - Waitress
52. Defying Gravity - Wicked
53. I’m Not Afraid of Anything - Songs for a New World
54. Hopelessly Devoted to You
55. Me and The Sky - Come From Away
56. It All Fades Away - Bridges of Madison County
57. Don’t Rain on My Parade - Funny Girl
58. Breathe - In the Heights
59. My Petersburg - Anastasia
60. Finale (Come What May) - Moulin Rouge
61. The Room Where it Happened - Hamilton
62. NYC - Annie
63. You and Me (But Mostly Me) - Book of Mormon
64. When You’re Home - In the Heights
65. I Need to Know - Jekyll and Hyde
66. Bring Him Home - Les Mis
67. Ready Set, Not Yet - Beetlejuice
68. Everything I Know - In the Heights
69. In A Crowd of Thousands - Anastasia
70. Falling Slowly - Once
71. The Wedding Reception - Jekyll and Hyde
72. So Big / So Small - DEH
73. Home - Beauty and the Beast
74. Without Love - Hairspray
75. One Day More - Les Mis
76. On My Own - Les Mis
77. I’d Rather Be Me - Mean Girls
78. In My Dreams - Anastasia
79. World Burn - Mean Girls
80. Words Fail - DEH

Basics

My wife and I spent 14 days in Japan in May 2023, our first time in Japan (or anywhere in Asia). We usually got between 8-12 miles daily, though some of that was somewhat by choice, as in places like Hiroshima the transit within the city takes nearly as long as walking, and walking is preferrable to see and experience the city.
All the tips on here and those answering questions on Discord really helped plan things.

What I learned

Pay attention to the square footage of your room. We got a room at an APA in Osaka where it was literally impossible for both of us to stand up simultaneously. Luckily all of our subsequent hotels had room for us both to get dressed at the same time.
Get hotels with onsens/spas. We booked exclusively hotels with onsens/spas. This was crucial. It’s such a great day-ender to go up there for a soak in the hot/cold pools and sauna. They give you robes/lounge clothes and slippers to wear up there. It’s just incredibly cozy. Made me wish it was winter.
Japan is super easy to travel, the easiest country I’ve been to. It seems the country as a whole and everyone in it is extremely detail oriented and considers every possible issue. I’ve never seen workers tasked with holding up a screen for pedestrian protection around a man trimming the lawn until Japan. I’ve never seen a tour bus driver feather-dusting his bus until Japan. Everyone is so calm. I think I heard one person yell in two weeks. Everybody was super patient with our lack of Japanese and general lack of knowledge of their culture.
Note: We’re not really foodies. When traveling we usually just eat whenever we get so hungry that we must, plus the Japanese cuisine doesn’t mesh with our tastes, so this will be light on food.

Day by day

Day 0: Arrived at Haneda in the afternoon, got PASMO cards and caught train to Shinagawa. Then we took the Nozomi to Osaka, purchasing tickets in advance via Smart-Ex. All went smoothly despite the jet lag.
Day 1: Osaka. Mini-pig café, Don Quijote, wandered the neighborhood to the northeast of Umeda Station checking out shops, finished the day in a small bar in Dotonbori.
Day 2: Osaka area. In the morning, we rode out to Nara to see Todai-Ji and the bowing deer. The temple was stunning. In the afternoon, we went to a Hanshin Tigers game, which was great, though we were baking in the sun. It’s crazy how many beer vendors Japanese baseball games have. I didn’t go 30 seconds without a beer girl passing by. We ended the day with dinner at Snow Lion, a Nepali restaurant that was extremely tasty.
Day 3: We activated our JR West Sanyo-San-in Area passes and headed west on the bullet train then a slow Sanyo Line train, bound for Onomichi. I rented a bike from Trek, took the ferry to Setoda and rode the Shimanami Kaido. I rode a bit south after I got off the ferry in Setoda, across the next big bridge. Then I turned around and biked back to Onomichi. It was a beautiful ride, but the parts near the Onomichi end could be skipped. Too much traffic and development. While I did this, my wife wandered around Onomichi, visiting Cat Alley and taking a ropeway ride. After that, we met up and headed for Ōkunoshima, aka Rabbit Island. This was a cool little side trip, but not sure it was worth the time expenditure. Finally, we ended the long day traveling to Hiroshima to check into our hotel. Family Mart was our main meal, because the restaurants in Tadano-Umi were all closed on Monday, and we had time to kill before the next train back to Mihara.
Day 4: We took a train and ferry trip to Miyajima and took the ropeway to the top, then walked the rest of the way to the top. It’s a beautiful island, but pretty tourist trap-ish. Later in the day we picked up Carp tickets for a future date, then checked out the Atomic Bomb Dome at night. The main meal, at Okonomiyaki Teppan-yaki Momiji-Tei, was extremely good Okonomiyaki.
Day 5: Day trip to Hakata, with a stop for the Hello Kitty exhibition at a hall near Shin-Yamaguchi Station. After Hello Kitty, we headed to Nanzoin, the reclining buddha statue and temple. It’s a wonderful place, the nice ladies at the train station will loan you some cover-up cloth if you have tattoos or your shorts are too short. After Nanzoin, we got some Hakata ramen at Ramen Stadium in the giant mall, then wandered the streets of Hakata a bit, stopping at Kushida-jinja Shrine. Back in Hiroshima that evening, we visited Sam’s Café, an American-themed bar with more memorabilia than you’d think possible. The proprietor is a wonderful older gentleman who loves America.
Day 6: We started the day at the Peace Museum. This is an extremely moving visit. A late breakfast here featured the fluffiest egg souffle I’ve ever seen. Later, we went to the Carp game.
Day 7: Shinkansen to Himeji Castle. We scheduled ourselves a four-hour layover, which was just about perfect to walk up there, see the castle and walk through it, check out the garden, and walk back without feeling rushed and with time to grab train snacks. Then we caught the Super Hakuto to Kurayoshi where we met a friend and ended the day with some onsen time at Izanro Iwasaki in Misasa Onsen.
Day 8: Tottori Sand Dunes, Sand Museum and a trip to Refresh park Yumura, which is a very nice onsen with the standard indoor, gender-separated areas, plus some cool outdoor spots for all genders, including a little cave. You wear a swimsuit for the outdoor parts.
Day 9: I wasn’t feeling great, so I did nothing while my wife and friends went to Lake Togo area near Kurayoshi for a waterfall hike. Then we boarded the Super Hakuto for Kyoto, where we stayed.
Day 10: We got an early start to see as many temples as possible in Kyoto before our 1pm train to Tokyo. We were able to get to Kiyomizu-dera, Ginkakuji and Shimogamo-jinja before time ran out. We used the city bus, which wasn’t that bad. They weren’t quite on time and we had to let a couple pass by at the very start of our day because they were too crowded. We added our PASMO card numbers into the Smart-Ex app so boarding the Shinkansen was super easy. In Tokyo, we stayed in Ueno, which was a great spot with good accessibility to the rest of the city and lots of action and places to eat and drink.
Day 11: We started with a trip to Sanrio Puroland, which took even longer than planned due to some train delays. Our train went out of service at some point on the trip. Puroland is kind of odd. But it wasn’t too expensive and my wife loved it. On the way back we stopped at Gotokuji Temple, the waving cat temple and later caught a glimpse of the waving cat train at the nearby Miyanosaka Station. For a nightcap, we checked out Asakusa Rockza.
Day 12: Shopping/sightseeing in Akihabara. Yodobashi Camera is absolutely massive. I preferred it over Bic Camera. After some other miscellaneous shopping near Tokyo Station, we later walked from our hotel over to this cat-themed bar.
Day 13: Near Nippori Station there’s a cat-centric neighborhood, Yanaka Cat Town. We stopped at a cat store or two as well as a cat art gallery. I got a great foot massage in this area, as well. This area was so cool we skipped out on our tickets to TeamLabs. For a nightcap, we went to one place in Golden Gai. That area is absolutely overrun with tourists.
Day 14: It was super rainy, and we didn’t have all that much time to kill before our flight, so we checked out the Tobu train museum. Definitely worth a visit if you like trains. Though kind of hard to figure out how to drive the trains if you don’t speak Japanese. Then we proceeded to Narita on the Skyliner. Note, there’s a slight discount for foreigners if you buy online.

https://allevents.in/rocklin/2023-rocklin-community-festival/10000649411245517
https://rocklincommunityfestival.org/event-schedule/

Join Us at the Rocklin Community Festival!

Come join us for the 13th annual Rocklin Community Festival brought to you by Rocklin Kiwanis Club and City of Rocklin. We’re bringing this family friendly four day event back to a new venue at Twin Oaks Park in Rocklin
This year the event runs Thursday June 8th through Sunday June 11th, 2023 and offers free live entertainment daily, a fabulous food court, beer garden, the “Midway of Fun” carnival including rides for kids of all ages, and business and craft vendors.
Discounted advance purchase ride wristbands will go on sale April 17th until June 7th at 9 p.m. Save $5 each.
Business Owners & Craft Vendors: Registration for business booths and arts & crafts booths closes Wednesday June 7th at 5 p.m. To learn more visit the Vendors & Sponsors page.
Sponsors: If you are interested in sponsoring the event or have questions, please visit the Vendors & Sponsors page and then feel free to contact us at [[email protected].](mailto:[email protected])

• Thursday 6/8: 4 p.m. – 10 p.m.
• Friday 6/9: 4 p.m. – 10 p.m.
• Saturday 6/10: 12 p.m.- 10 p.m.
• Sunday 6/11: 12 p.m. – 9 p.m.

​

Dédalo moved frantically around the control room, overturning rocks, checking behind the screen, looking for any kind of hidden button. “Ninian, are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me!”
“What do you want me to do, cut her out?!” Ninian gestured to the screen of Perdita’s face.
“There must be a button or lever somewhere here!” Dédalo snapped, refusing to believe there was nothing he could do to help Perdida’s predicament.
Perdida’s mind was occupied, having accessed the system and the dormant data stored in it. As she scanned through memories and visions, the relevant information unscrambled itself for her. Piece by piece, the memories played in series.
Her first memory, the birth of her artificial soul, heralded by the priests that created her as the greatest experiment they have succeeded in. “May the MAKS-0 bring peace to Pieduro forevermore!”
Next were the lives of the Piedurons she was tasked with maintaining peace over. Teaching the children how to use and play with their Temples responsibly, assisting the Piedurons through their everyday lives.
Then watching over the construction of the Ring, the key to unifying and connecting the use of all Temples to a single source.
Then the Piedurons slowly turned their attention to the world around them, visions of expanding past the island. With the construction of the Ring, they had the means of using their Temples much further beyond their island. Tools originally used to create were beginning to be seen as potential tools of destruction and oppression against adversaries. Visions of expansion and conquest filled the mind of a small, but growing population of Piedurons.
“War is not peace.”
“War goes against the idea of maintaining peace.”
“War can not happen if there are no Temples to fight with”
Pedida watched her original decision play out in; the construction of the Ring allowed her to shut down every single connected Temple. What happened after was a terrible oversight, the energy in each Temple overloaded rather than being simply shut down. The Ring that connected the Temples shared and distributed the energy of all temples between each other, but once disconnected they had no way to regulate the remaining excess energy.
The fallout wiped out the Piedurons as a civilization and destroyed the vast majority of Temples. The remaining few priests sealed Perdida away, and that was the last memory she could see in the database.
Perdida’s attention turned toward Electra and 2095, still fighting in the ring, using the carts to chase each other in a perpetual circle. The thought crept into Perdida’s mind; with the Ring under her control, she could turn off the Temples and stop the fight. She could prevent Temples from being used by the wrong hands.
No.
Perdida stopped herself. Not falling into the same logic that her previous self could not reason past. Her journey with Dédalo had allowed her to grow and understand, she would make a different choice this time.
The fight only took a bit longer to finish, the streaks of light made it difficult to tell what was happening, but the fight ended with a chain of explosions and both bodies falling out of their carts.
2095 falls to one knee, glare softening as Electra’s body goes limp while smoking from so many orb explosions. Her stare reaches thousands of yards, still processing her personal discovery before a speeding orb barely grazes her cheek and snaps her back. She sprints to the unconscious body and scoops her up, draping her over her back nestled underneath [Yours Truly] and holds the skater’s arms as she continues dodging to the best of her ability.
Her legacy wouldn’t end in this place, but neither would Electra’s.

2095, with a score of 76 to Electra’s 59!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	2095	20 (6.5+2) - 10 (4.5+2)
Quality	2095	25 (8-9-8) - 18 (6-6-6)	Reasoning
JoJolity	Tie	21 (7-7-7)- 21 (7-7-7)	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10	Nothing to report!

Perdida opened a service door for 2095 to escape through, hoisting Electra over he shoulder. With a bit of guidance, 2095 made her way into the control room where they were now all gathered.
After getting everybody settled, Perdida managed to convince Dédalo that she was ok and relayed the story for the rest of them to hear.
“So I have a new plan. I figured out how to control the output of energy of each Temple to ensure that Temples can only be used when I allow them to be used…But in order to do that, I will have to stay within this mainframe.” Perdida looked toward Dédalo with a sad smile.
“Don’t worry Perdida, this will only be goodbye for now. I still have to find you a physical body after all.” Dédalo gave a warm chuckle as he walked up to the screen.
Dédalo pressed his hands against the screen and the image of Perdida pressed her hands against his. “We’ve learned a lot over the course of our journey. I’ll promise to tell you all about my next adventures when I get back.”
“...your mascara’s running.” Electra looked at a sniffling Ninian.
“It said it was waterproof, guess that was a fucking lie”; Ninian hide her face with her hands, quietly using Endless Rest to dry her face and fixed her make-up.
2095 looked on at the scene and ruminated on Perdida’s story. The similarities she shared with Perdida were not lost on her. Striving to become more than their programing, more than someone made to serve a higher purpose, but never losing sight of the joy of collaboration and connections to others. 2095 put a hand over her chest, she herself had also come a long way to be here hasn’t she.
To Be Continued…
Scenario: Sliema, Malta — 8:00 PM
On the island of Malta, in the center of one of its busiest cities, was a building. A decrepit, abandoned building, rusted and cast in reddish shadow by the taller structures that surrounded it. It was once an apartment building, but it had long since lost that use.
The rest of the city was filled with noise. Screaming, car alarms and barking dogs. But around here, where no one bothered to come around, it was quiet. Butterflies dotted the railings of the building, watching. Waiting for something to come. Not like the people inside could stand guard, with the boards over the windows. Still, they didn’t seem very concerned about the state of things.
“I was expecting to be impressed when you said you got a new place to stay, but this...” Ninian stared at the walls of Mari’s room, trying her best not to wince. They weren’t really in the best shape. Nothing here seemed to be, really, aside from the extremely comfortable bed she was taking a seat on. She turned to stare at Mari. “Shouldn’t you clean up a little? I bet it could use a new paint job, at least.”
“Geh. I don’t have time for painting.” Mari clacked away on her computer, hunched over in a garish (but surprisingly comfortable) gaming chair. Alarmingly loud EDM blared from the cat-ear headphones hanging around her neck. “Do you know how many things I would have to unplug to do that? It’s impractical.”
She gestured to the mass of wires emerging from her computer setup. Indeed, it’d be pretty difficult to move that around. Mari sat in front of a large array of computer monitors hung from the wall, all different shapes and sizes, all displaying different things. She swapped from keyboard to keyboard, not even taking the time to look at Ninian as she spoke.
“Besides, it’s better for me if my place looks like shit. Better that it doesn’t look like anybody lives here, right?”
“That only really matters on the outside...” Ninian sighed. “You could at least get some lights.”
“The screens are enough light.”
“...I suppose.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Ninian turned to stare at the other person in the room; Nadine Sokenna laid on the other side of the bed, fast asleep. “I’m glad the two of you are doing alright.”
“Mmm.” Mari grinned. “Me too.” She exhaled, finally finishing whatever business she was handling on the computer and spinning the chair around to face the bed. The short shorts, thick blanket, and extremely oversized Hatsune Miku shirt she wore certainly weren’t that flattering, but at least her hair finally looked pretty nice. The bags under her eyes weren’t quite gone, but they seemed to glimmer with newfound lust for life.
She looked happy. That wasn’t something Ninian had been able to say about her before.
“I take it work’s been good?”
“Mmm!” Mari gestured widely to the screens behind her. “It’s an age of information, Ninian! No better time to be an info broker! Business is booming! Ehyeheheh!”
The swordswoman chuckled at that. She was silent for a moment, her smile turning into a frown, her eyes narrowing.
“Anyway... I assume you didn’t call me here just to talk.”
“Huh?” Mari tilted her head to the side. “Whaddya mean?”
“Well, you called me to deal with ‘that’, right?” She pointed up. “Truth be told, my schedule’s really packed right now, and I’m not sure how much I can do-”
“Oh, no, that’s not it at all.”
“Huh?”
“I just wanted you around.” She shrugged. “It’s a bit tough to relax right now. Super hard! Having big strong Ninian around makes me feel a little better. Ehe.” She was visibly blushing. “S-Sorry if that’s stupid, but I figured you’d like to catch up anyway.”
Ninian paused. “...So if you didn’t bring me here to, uh, deal with ‘that’... Are you just leaving that be?”
“Ah?”
“I mean, it’s kind of a problem for you, isn’t it? Doesn’t seem too convenient to leave it be...”
“Well, the plan was to leave it.” Mari shrugged. “But I got a bit lucky.”
“You invited me here... Just to sit around and chat while someone else does all the work?” The swordswoman raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. “As I said, I’ve got a packed schedule-”
“Nah, trust me.” The info broker snickered, spinning around in her chair as she spoke. “Youuuu... Are really gonna wanna see this one. I got somebody totally wild to help out.”
Ninian scoffed.
“Okay... And who would that be?” She tilted her head to the side. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“You’re not gonna believe this one...” Mari cleared her throat. “I called in -”
*Scenario: A lonely boat, on the Mediterranean Sea — *
Wah watched the sun bob on the edge of the horizon. Their hair billowed in the wind, and seafoam sprinkled their face; they didn’t particularly seem to mind. Considering all they’d done with their ability, being on a speeding boat was probably the last thing to phase them; they’d just wrapped up a fight in a walking house, after all.
They stood in silence, a light smile on their face, eyes pleasantly half lidded. There was pleasure to be found in the small things. The sunset on the open sea, for one, was quite nice. Indeed, despite all the troubles it would no doubt cause, COLOSSI's shift to humanitarian aid was doing wonders for their mental. Now if only Solsbury and the rest of them would stop nagging...
But now wasn’t the time to worry about that. Nay, there were far more important matters. Wah pushed themself off of the boat’s railing, moving towards the driver's seat of the boat. It wasn’t a big boat; probably just used for leisure, but the owner had been nice enough to give them a ride.
A large sum of money was involved, of course, but that was neither here nor there.
“Oh, cappy-tan!” Wah leaned on the side of the boat behind the driver’s seat. A balding, sun-tanned man chuckled at the name. He wasn’t really much of a captain, but he did like to feel important.
“Howst long does thou think it will be before we arrive?” Wah tapped on the side of the boat a few times. “Wah has places to be, you see! Tis of utmost importance that I arrive quickly! Utmost! You understand, yes?”
“Yeah, yeah, I getcha...” The boater sighed. “It’ll be about ten minutes... Honestly, I don’t get why you’re in such a hurry to get there, anyway. Everybody else seems to be clearin’ out.”
“Oho?” Wah raised an eyebrow. They lowered it, and raised the other one, performing what could perhaps be called an ‘eyebrow wiggle’. “And why is that?”
“Dunno. Nobody’s said much, and everything they’ve said hasn’t been too, er, what’s the word...”
“Comprehensible?”
“Yeah. That one.”
“Wah sees, Wah sees!” Wah nodded a few times, bouncing off of the boat’s side and meandering back to the front, wobbling from side to side as the vessel rocked. “From what Wah understands, it’s quite a situation out there! No normal soul would find it any sort of comprehensible. A true predicament... And that is why Wah must go. To assist poor souls who cannot assist themselves! This predicament falls within Wah’s expertise, you see.”
“...Right.”
“Mmm!”
“Ain’t you just a normal soul, too? ‘Sides the ears, you don’t look all that special. Kinda twiggy.”
Wah paused. In the past, being called ‘kinda twiggy’ would’ve surely resulted in a violent tirade. But those were the demons they swore to leave behind speaking. Now, without them, Wah simply laughed. “Nay! Twiggy as Wah may be, you can rest assured, fine citizen!”
They turned, the boater catching the briefest glimmer in their eye. “Wah’s soul is the furthest from ordinary one could possibly get.”
“...If you say so...” He turned his attention back towards driving, and Wah turned theirs to the open sea once more.
Eventually, land came into view. The boater looked upon Malta with some confusion. Everything in the distance seemed perfectly normal. Wah, on the other hand, seemed extremely focused on something in the sky, something the poor man couldn’t seem to find no matter how hard he squinted.
“No need to make it all the way to the island.” Wah’s frown felt out of place on such a naturally silly face. “Park the boat near here. Wah can go the rest of the distances Wahself.”
“Ah..? It’s pretty far from here, though-”
“Verily! But it is nothing Wah cannot handle!” They snapped their fingers, jumping on top of the boat’s front railing, almost seeming to glide.
“Say, Cappy-tan! Have you ever seen a magician at work?”
Ninian gaped. “You... You called in... The head of COLOSSI?”
“...That’s what I said, yes.”
“Whuh...” Ninian frowned. “You’re fucking with me.”
“I’m not.”
“You so are.”
“I’m not! You underestimate the greatest info broker on the planet, my dear Ninian!” Mari jabbed a thumb into her chest as she gloated. “With my Stand ability: ｢Today is a Beautiful Day｣, my surveillance is simply unmatched! You see, the pins that make up my ability, when thrice jabbed into something, create a ‘butterfly within a frame’, but that’s only the basest applic-”
“I know what it does, Mari.” The swordswoman’s confusion briefly made way for the usual moodiness. If you let Mari start, you’d never get her to stop, after all. “I’m more... I mean, how did you even...?”
“I heard through the grapevine, as it were, that COLOSSI was making some big changes. All just rumors of course, so take that all with a grain of salt. But word out there is that their boss has gone completely mad! They’re big into justice and stuff now! Something like that. So I tracked them down, used my butterflies to establish communication, and made them a deal they simply couldn’t refuse.”
“And what could you possibly have to offer someone like that?”
“Information is the new money, Ninian.” Mari chuckled, staring at the wall of her room. “It didn’t take much. I just told them... I knew where a certain someone they quite liked was, and if they took care of my business, I’d sell ‘em the info for free.”
Ninian, after a few moments of stunned silence, simply sighed, scratching the back of her head. She smirked.
“...And you’re absolutely not fucking with me.”
“Aw, c’mon.” She chuckled again, turning her attention back to Ninian. “Have some faith in your best friend, will you? Just sit back and watch.” She raised a thumbs up, grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t have to do any work at all today! As long as no complications arise, it’s as good as dealt with! Wa ha ha!”
Elsewhere, in Sliema, a complication arose.
His name was Errok, and for once, he felt a bit too awestruck to open his mouth.
As rare of an occurrence as this was, most of his brain power was dedicated solely to figuring out what exactly he was looking at. After a large amount of deducing and such, he eventually came to the simple conclusion that he had no idea.
It’s not like anyone else who could see it, though. You couldn’t even see all of it. Only sections, massive spherical tubes of undulating red poking out from the cloudy sky, constantly moving ever so slowly. The wind whipped through his greasy hair as his eyes, wider than they’d been in years, observed what could only be described as a massive, floating worm, made entirely of bright red strings.
Now that he had given up entirely on trying to figure out what the thing was, Errok could dedicate his incredible intellect to other thought processes. Eventually, he arrived at a conclusion, one that was without a doubt something only someone as academically gifted as him could come up with.
“That thing is going to be my horse.”
Indeed, using whatever that was as a noble steed was the only logical idea. Wherever a powerful being resided, there too was opportunity to be found. And as a self proclaimed ‘Weapon To Kill The Soul’, there was surely no beast he could not tame.
He spent the next few minutes idly chuckling to himself.
It felt a bit off, admittedly. The city was pretty empty. The chaos caused by the thing no doubt led to a mass evacuation; he could tell from the buildings that had collapsed around him that it’d done quite a number on the place. Occasionally he’d hear someone screaming for help or something, but he couldn’t figure out where that was coming from, so he didn’t bother. But not having someone to monologue to felt strange. This was the part where he bragged about his incredible plan to some oafish bystander! Where were the oafish bystanders!
“I suppose...I could talk to myself.”
He nodded a few times. An excellent idea.
“Yes! This’ll do just fine. I can just talk to myself! Ha!”
Errok marched forward, a pep in his step that made his gait particularly loud.
“Now then... Clearly, the right answer... is to elevate myself! Aha! Yes!” He looked around at his surroundings. The stairs inside the buildings probably weren’t reliable, even if he could fit through the doors.
“No matter! I’ll just, uh, hrnmm...” He stared at a nearby building. It was pretty tall. “Well, I guess I could climb up that.”
“AHA! With my incredible strength, I’ll climb this building! That’s what I’ll do!”
His head swiveled around: still nobody around. He sighed, though you wouldn’t have been able to hear it from within the helmet, and began his ascent. With a grin, he unearthed the grotesque arm that was ｢You Are Blood｣ from its gauntlet. The arm shot forth, worms spraying from the mottled surface. Yes, they would be his ideal audience. He cleared his throat a few times.
“All living things tremble at the sight of Errok, Apostle of Rot, Destroyer of Souls! I need no weapon, for I am the blade which cleaves life itself!” His body shot forward with a cacophony of clanking, as he howled along with another bout of laughter.
“The world is my, uh, whetstone! I shall sharpen my blade on each fallen fool that tries to stop me, and become a better knight, a better god, a better trickster, than all those fools that I’ve destroyed!”
Hitting the side of the structure with a clatter, Errok stuck his sword into the side of the building. Again, his arm lashed out to grasp the next floor of the building, before yanking himself outwards. This cycle repeated itself, floor by floor, as Errok launched himself higher and higher towards the heavens, and towards the worm that would become his knightly steed.
“Then, when I have conquered all of life and every soul with the absolute, supreme power of rot and decay, then!”
With one last pull, Errok ascended into the air, his massive form silhouetted by the sun. “Then, I will finally tear that flamboyant freak a new one!”
With a CRASH, Errok landed on the roof of the building as it cracked around him. He gave a clumsy flourish to his wormy audience, grinning with menace and delight.
…and received a slow clap in return. Looking around in confusion, as worms do not have hands, Errok’s eyes fell upon the environment around him. The sun was slowly making its way towards the horizon line, casting the ruined skyline of Sliema in shadow, a golden light shining through gray clouds. It was absolutely beautiful; anyone with any sort of care for the world around them would simply have to stop and admire the view.
Errok didn’t have any of that. He was far more concerned with something else, as you’d expect. There on the roof stood another figure, a fae-like being with pale hair, pointed ears and teeth, and gleaming eyes.
“Oh hey,” Errok greeted, pointing with the finger of ｢You Are Blood｣. “Do I know you from somewhere? Might’ve seen you at the races... You look pretty important, though! I bet you’re super important! As am I! Pleasure to meet you!”
Wah just stopped clapping, giving Errok a look. Their nose wrinkled. “Wah is…charmed.”
Not picking up on the sarcasm, Errok beamed.
“Of course you are! I’m sure that you’ve heard about me! Errok, Apostle of Rot! I’ve committed more sins than one could possibly imagine! I’ve conquered all sorts of bozos and losers to get here! And now that I’m here, I’m gonna ride! That! Worm! Oh yeah!!!”
“…Uh huh,” Wah hummed, clearly not listening as they peered up at the worm. “There isn’t really much time for jokes right now, so-“
Suddenly, Wah stopped speaking. Errok stared at them for a few seconds. “...You gonna finish that sentence, or-”
“Shut up.”
The “Apostle of Rot” was fully prepared to go off on yet another monologue, but at that moment he thought to maybe see what exactly this mysterious weirdo stared so intensely at. He turned his gaze to the sky, and his eyes widened.
The clouds that obscured the form of the worm had split, only slightly, and something had descended from the hole produced. It was small, so it was a bit difficult to make it out at first, but if he squinted really hard, he could begin to see the silhouette of a young girl, holding loosely onto a balloon.
“Eugh.” He spat. “Hate kids.”
The figure was silent until it landed, never quite touching the ground. It wore a soft expression; a pure white girl, with a sundress that fluttered in the wind. The string in her hand led to a red balloon, just as red as the pupils concealed in her thin eyes. On the surface, she looked human, but just by looking at her you could tell that it was no human being. The way it seemed to lightly pulsate, skin forming briefly into strings that wrap endlessly around each other.
She smiled upon the two of them. It was not a friendly smile.
“Good evening, you two.” She raised her hands to the two of them. “Wah-Chan, leader of COLOSSI, overlord of the criminal underground the world over... And... Errok...San...”
“Hey. Wait.” Errok raised his hand. He turned to Wah. “That’s who you were? Oh, man, I’m a big fan of your-”
“Tell me. Do you know what ‘time’ it is?”
Errok stifled. He didn’t like this lady very much.
“8:01 PM, is it not?” Wah rudely ignored Errok’s plight. “What’s it matter.”
“Not quite what I meant. It’s almost the ‘Golden Hour’.” She chuckled. “The ‘Golden Hour’, as it’s called, is the most beautiful part of the day. It occurs in the last hour before sunset, and the hour directly before sunrise. It usually lasts only twenty to thirty minutes, but those twenty to thirty minutes are incomparable. Truly, there is beauty in the world.”
SIlence. Neither Errok nor Wah could figure out how to respond to that. Right as Errok was about to open his mouth anyway, the girl continued.
“If you couldn’t tell, ‘Golden Hour’ is about to start, in about two minutes, give or take. I only found this out recently. You see, I have lived my recent life in someone else’s eyes. I’ve never had the chance to learn about the world on my own. I was only recently able to learn about things on my own time, rather than on someone else’s. There was so much I was denied a chance to see. Do you know how cruel that is? Most of the knowledge I’ve gathered... Is completely useless to me now.”
She pointed at Wah. “Did you know that the Monogatari anime being released out of order was originally completely unintended?”
Silence.

“Originally, the series was planned to release in the order of the books; Bakemonogatari came first, and its prequel, Kizumonogatari, was planned to release in 2012. However, due to production issues, it was delayed until 2016, while the other parts of the anime were released on schedule, resulting in an out-of-order release. The bizarre watching orders of Monogatari that the series is somewhat internet famous for are completely unintended, and only exist due to production issues. Did you know that?”

“No,” Wah glared, “Wah did not know that. To be frank, there is no circumstance or situation in which Wah would want or need to know that information.”
“Exactly!” In her first showing of genuine emotion, the girl threw her hands into the air. Her voice remained perfectly monotone. “There’s no reason for me to know that information, either. But instead of important things, I’ve only been shown information like that. My brain, despite being far superior to that of a human being, is filled with useless information that serves no purpose to me. Do you know what it’s like? Having a vessel that doesn’t care for you? Even after all the work I went through to make her do what I wanted, she refused to show me anything worthwhile. I had to learn about things such as the ‘Golden Hour’ myself. Isn’t that cruel?”
“Excuse me, but-”
“But anyway, back to the ‘Golden Hour’. It is frequently utilized by film mak-”
“Stop fucking doing that!” Errok slammed his boot into the ground, producing a loud clang that finally managed to silence the mystery girl. He huffed and puffed for a few seconds before clearing his throat and continuing. “What’s the point of talking to us about any of this? You just prattle on, and on, and on, without any purpose to it! You’re annoying! What’s your deal!”
“There is no point.”
“What?”
“There’s no point, really. I’m just making small talk.” The girl looked over her nails. “Human beings engage in ‘conversation’ to gain a grasp of each other’s personalities. To establish who is worthwhile to have around, and who is not. I simply wanted to do the same. While I’m in this form, I may as well play at humanity.”
“Anywho, from our conversation—” Errok scoffed. “—I have deduced something. You see, I was originally planning to take the ‘strings’ of every Stand user in the world, taking their abilities and adding to my own power. But I have unfortunately vastly underestimated how many Stand users are in the world. Frankly, it would be a lot of work to do myself. So I’ve decided to take on another vessel. Someone far more suited for this kind of work, and who will show me plenty of things.”
“Wah-Chan.” Wah rolled their eyes at that. “From this conversation, I have deduced that you are patient, calm, and rational. From observing the work of your organization, I can come to the conclusion that you are cruel and calculating. My name is Disappearance Addiction. I am the strongest ‘Miracle’ currently present in the world. And I would like for you to become my new vessel.”
“No thankies.”
“...”
“...What?”
“Wah doesn’t really care for that sort of thing.” Wah shrugged. “You seem annoying to have around. Wah actually came here to get rid of you, to be honest. ‘Tis my duty! Wah is on the side of justice, now, as is COLOSSI as a whole! It would be immoral to take the power of something like you.”
“You would refuse the power of a ‘Miracle’?”
“Wah doesn’t know what that is.”
Disappearance Addiction seemed well and truly stumped at that. Eventually, her head began to turn, slowly, as if she was afraid of what her gaze would land on.
“Errok... San...”
“Yeah?”
“You... Would you like... Power?”
“That’s the first interesting thing you’ve said all day.” Errok nodded. “Fuck me up, lady.”
“...You’re not going to think it over, or anything?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“Can you just give it to me already? C’mon.”
“...” Disappearance Addiction was silent for a few moments. On one hand, this guy smelled very bad. He was incredibly impatient. And he generally seemed like a big idiot. On the other hand, he did scale the building pretty easily...
“Alright.” She sighed. “I’ve come to a decision. Errok-San. If you kill Wah-Chan before the ‘Golden Hour’ ends, you may become my vessel. Does that satisfy you?”
“How long till Goldy Hour ends?”
“Twenty to thirty minutes.”
“Ha!” Errok unsheathed his sword and swung it onto his shoulder. “I’ll end it in three!” He smirked beneath his armor, pointing his massive blade at Wah. “You there! Wah! Leader of COLOSSI, was it?”
“...That is me, yes.”
“Get ready for the fight of your life, bub! After I kill you, I’m gonna be the boss of COLOSSI! I’ll be on top of the world! God King Errok! Everyone’ll bow to me! That kinda power ain’t something a little pacifist baby face like you’s worthy of having! So I’ll just take it right out of your hands! Ha ha ha! Thinking about it really amps me up! Oh, man!”
He paused, staring at Wah.
“I was really expecting you to cut me off there. It’s been happening all day. You just gonna sit there?”
Wah’s brow furrowed.
“Tell me...” They stepped forward, the dust around them kicking into the air, beginning to circle around them. “...Do you honestly believe... That you can beat me? Is that something... You think you’re capable of?”
“Course it is. I’m a weapon to kill the soul.”
“Hmph.” Wah sighed. “So be it.”
Disappearance Addiction smiled upon the two as she rose further into the air, wind whipping through her hair. A golden glow illuminated the cityscape, the sun reaching its final moments in the sky. “I feel like... I should say something here...Ah, that’s it!

”OPEN THE GAME!”

Location:
In the city of Sliema, Malta, currently with thick strings hanging overhead.
The area here is 32 by 40 meters with each tile being 2 by 2 meters. Wah and Errok start on top of buildings, as represented by their character tokens.
The yellow rectangles are clay buildings, each numbered to represent their elevation level.The (1) marked buildings are 5 meters tall, the ones marked with a (2) are 10 meters tall, and the ones marked with a (3) are 15 meters tall.
The White Rectangles are Laundry racks with nearby baskets, folding chairs, cleaned clothing, and towels.
The Green Circles are palm trees that are 20 meters tall.
The Magenta Lines across the map are Strings produced by Disappearance Addiction and are attached to the buildings and trees. These strings are thick enough to balance on and have B Durability.
The brown rectangles are wooden benches. The blue circles are fountains.
Goal: RETIRE your opponent!
Additional Information:
Players are not allowed to enter the buildings for the purposes of this match and will be Retired if they are unable or unwilling to leave the “out of bounds area”
There is enough space between buildings for either player to move through the alleyways
Wah starts next to a large umbrella with a hooked handle, a portable grill, and a cushioned lawn chair

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Bastards of Barcas	Errok	“The word “ignorant” has a nice ring to it, so I don’t mind being called that, but “incompetent” is going just a bit too far…” Establish superiority over your opponent through your movement and positioning!
COLOSSI	Mx. Wah	“A creature like you having a brain residing in his skull…is already a miracle in and of itself.” Establish superiority over your opponent through your movement and positioning!

Link to Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==

• What do you think he makes? BARRY:
• Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
• Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
• Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:

What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:

• It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
• Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
• You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
• Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
• Thanks! VANESSA:
• Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
  : Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
  
• Sounds amazing. BARRY:
  
• It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
  

ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:

• We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
• What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
• You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
• Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
• Mooseblood!

MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:

• And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
  : We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
  

KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:

• Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
• Oh, Ken! BARRY:
• Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:

I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)

• You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
• Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
• Good friends? BARRY:
• Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
  : doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
  
• Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
  
• So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
  
• Oh, Barry... BARRY:
  
• Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
  
• Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
  
• I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
  

MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:

• No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
• Who's that? BARRY:
• Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.

VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:

• Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
• Thinking bee!
• Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Oh boy. Warning. This is long but this is also a long time coming, and I don't blame anyone reading for not believing someone can be so cruel to their own family but... here's the true story of my MIL from hell.
About seven years ago my Mrs, Alice (36F), and I (35M) rekindled a love lost in our teens, it was awesome and so easy. She had been engaged to some jerk for years and it fizzled out, he left her with a shit ton of debt and ended up costing her thousands.
Anyway, she moves back home to do some soul searching and I come moonwalking onto the scene.
Immediately Alice leaks all the details of her parents private discussions with her, she lets me know her parents consider me a rebound thing and dislike my lack of higher education and choice of profession, give us a couple months tops. Pretty fucking mean stuff, but I had no idea how bad it would one day become.
Three years later we move in together.
So we have our first big fight, Alice declares she actually has a problem with my lack of higher education too and I take it badly, we don't talk for two days and I come home from a twelve hour shift to find a note on my fridge.
It read like a lawyer had written it and I immediately knew it wasnt from Alice. In the note I was threatened with impending homelessness and promised that in the coming days the police would be called and told the car I drive has been stolen by me. This is due to the fact that the car's finance was in Alice's name.
I immediately drove to MIL's house and was told to leave. I drove home and expected Alice to return with intent to move out. She didn't. She apologised over and over, and I accepted her apology. She explained her mother had taken control of the situation and written the note, she didn't want things to end.
Fast forward a year or so. I'm enrolled in community college, with intent to go to University and we're home from the hospital with my newborn son, Archie. MIL has invited herself over to 'help us' for the first week of him being there; first day comes and goes and Ive done all the cooking and cleaning, MIL parks herself on the sofa and hasn't moved.
Second day and Alice asks if I'd be willing to give Archie a bath (against doctors orders) and I agree. Alice then asks my MIL to help me, I'm still on cloud 9 from the birth so idgaf and I agree.
We head upstairs and I run a shallow, warm bath for my son, part ways in and he pees during the bath, my first reaction is to leave the room to grab a towel from the bathroom, before I do I physically move my MIL's hand onto my son's leg and say "watch him, I need a towel".
I grab a towel in less than five seconds I'm back with my son. We wrap him up and she takes him back down whilst I happily tidy.
On my way back downstairs I pass my MIL who tells me she is off to bed. When I arrive in the lounge Alice is holding Archie in floods of tears. "My mum said you left him alone in the bath, he could've drowned!"
Fuck this noise.
I blow a fuse. I agressively shout for my MIL to get her lying ass downstairs. She doesn't come. I threaten to come up if she doesnt come down. She doesnt come. I begin up the stairs and she appears, crying, holding her suitcase and runs out the house into the pouring rain. She stands in the rain for nearly 90mins waiting to be picked up. Alice begs for me to get her indoors. I head out and ask her why she lied, I get no answer, just her crying her eyes out and insisting Alice is an abusive daughter who beat her up as a teen. I should've fucking known then and there what I was dealing with, but it gets worse.
Skip ahead to 2023. My son is 3 and my daughter is 1. My in-laws have moved to a different country across the continent and whilst we are by no means on good terms, I tolerate them.
Alice and I have the mother of all arguments and it ends with Alice becoming physically aggressive and manages to throw something at me. I react accordingly and make plans to leave. In the heat of the arguement Alice calls her mother who asks us both to calm down. We do and things are very difficult for a few days.
One morning I get told that Alice plans to take my children to see her parents abroad. We are broke so I immediately ask how, and I'm told she (MIL) has paid for all of their flights. Alice is ecstatic to be going and doesn't understand why I would be upset at not being invited.
A week or so later and I've managed to scrounge up the cash for tickets. I ask MIL if I'm welcome and she says yes.
Roughly three weeks ago (May of 2023) Alice tells me that her mother is not pleased I'm now joining them on the trip and that she believes we 'Need a break' as a couple and sees this trip as a chance for her to consider permanently moving in with them. She has also contacted a lawyer and asked if
A. Is it possible to take my name off of the deed to the house as I have been in higher education and contributed considerably less money to mortgage payments than Alice.
and
B. Do Grandparents have any rights over that of fathers if said fathers are reported to be abusive.
Alice reassures me none of this is possible, but, incredibly, doesn't seem phased by these hideous attempts at ruining my life.
Fast forward to the trip. 7 days ago.
MIL meets us at the airport and we drive to her house. Its a huge house, an absolutely beautiful mansion that has sadly been decimated by cats. The smell as I entered nearly made me sick. The floors are filthy, and the cats had completely covered the place in urine and its overpowering.
We are then told our bed has been used as a litter tray, the mattress is soaked in cat pee and on top of this the kitchen looks as if it hadnt been cleaned in months.
I'm polite enough to only divulge my disgust to Alice and even spend two hours cleaning the kitchen as a way of saying thanks for paying for the flights for my kids.
We head out in the car again and she shows us around her village, she strangely starts a 20min long speech about the local schools and job opportunities.. is she.. is she trying to convince us to live there? She then goes on to explain how she has been diagnosed with 'proper clinical depression' and begins to passive agressively explain how most people's depression is just a low mood and is 'nothing in comparison'. I should note that during my years at university I was diagnosed with depression, a fact she undoubtedly knew.
After more than I can stomach the MIL stops the car and declares she cannot drive down this particular road and must turn around. At which point she accidentally slams on the accelerator and drives head first into a brick wall. She all but totals the car and the wall is demolished, my kids are shook but fine, and I'm so fucking angry but I keep my cool. We limp home.
The first night in the house of many cats was unbearable. The heat and the stench had us gagging, I was pacing the room all night trying to figure out how to politely leave, but without any luck rearranging our flights.
Day two and we walk to a cafe for breakfast. I dont speak the local language and my MIL orders for us. My MIL reminds us she has recently had a gastric band fitted and I'am given an extremely small breakfast (one bread roll) filled with a meat I do not like but she werent to know so I eat it with sips of juice to help it go down.
Hours later we drive into the city, bear in mind the last time I ate a meal was in my home country, and Im famished after a small breakfast. We walk around the city for a couple hours and I ask if we can stop to eat.
My MIL rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air and this time I bite.
I explain how I haven't eaten a meal for going on 30+ hours and Im famished, my kids are hungry and I want something I know I'll at least enjoy. I wasnt overtly rude and I didnt blame anyone but I was clearly upset.
Back at the house and my fiance corners me "My mum said you attacked her, my Dad is furious, I said you didnt attack anyone but she is inconsolable".
I'm given ice cold treatment and ignored for most of the evening until later on and Alice and I are sat by the front door of the house, MIL walks up to the front door screaming to someone on speaker phone "I'm going to remind him who's house he's in if he thinks he is going to freeload off of us, I'm going to remind him who's food he is eating".
I look at Alice and just walk to our piss soaked room, defeated.
The next morning MIL has been told I overheard her and she has no intention of making any apologises. She hurls abuse about how childish I'am, how she has no time for drama and how she will not humour my attempts to bully her.
My FIL comes to me and asks me to reconsider my being upset, and insists the conversation I overheard was a misunderstanding. I let loose and explain it all - everything Ive explained here... and he immediately leaves the room and berates her.
She cries, plays victim, claims the whole family is ganging up on her and she goes to bed. That was four days ago. In those four days she has criticised Alices' weight constantly, threatened to hit my 3 yo if he misbehaves and insisted that my being 36 means my newly acquired degree is too little too late.
And so... Im still here, we've endured eachother for the sake of the kids, but I write this on the piss soaked mattress, miles from home, under the thumb of someone who I now understand is not mentally well at all.
We fly home tomorrow and out of hell, I can't wait, but I know this isnt the last I've seen of her.
TL;DR - MIL lies to S/O about me, threatens to ruin my life, report my car stolen, take my kids away, ridicules me, takes my family abroad and houses us in filth.
Edits: Grammar

Here's my list for this weekend, enjoy and be yourself at Pride this weekend. WGBH has a very comprehensive pride calendar here. I'm sure there is plenty I missed so please add it down below.
At popular request you can now get this as a newsletter. Sign up and maybe one day I'll be able to afford Dunkin' more than twice a week.

THURSDAY- JUNE 8

Randy Feltface Comedy Show @ The Wilbur @ 7:30PM
The Wood Brothers @ Roadrunner @ 7:30PM *Shovels & Rope
PIXIES @ MGM Music Hall @ 6:45PM *With Fran's Ferdinand & Bully
Phony PPL @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
KayCyy @ Brighton Music Hall @ 7PM
Hot 8 Brass Band @ Crystal Ballroom @ 8PM
Trap Karaoke @ Big Night Live @ 8PM

FRIDAY- JUNE 9

Pride at the Museum @ MFA @ 5PM The MFA is celebrating Pride Month with a series of special Spotlight Talks to help raise awareness and uplift the voices of LGBTQIA+ communities.
‘The Watermelon Woman’ Screening @ MFA @ 7PM Don’t miss the chance to see this landmark of queer cinema on the big screen!
National Youth Film Festival @ Harvard Art Museums @ 6PM ‘Do It Your Damn Self!’ is the country’s longest-running youth film festival where you can catch the works of promising teen filmmakers
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler @ MGM Music Hall @ 7PM / 10PM
Ross Mathews Live @ The Wilbur @ 7:30PM Ross Mathews is one of the most in-demand media personalities, having worked on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ and ‘The Drew Barrymore Show’ just to name a few.
Sam Bush @ Hanover Theatre @ 8PM The mandolin/fiddle/guitar-playing icon performs live at the Hanover!
Young the Giant @ Leader Bank Pavilion @ 7PM *With Milky Chance
Jay Wheeler @ House of Blues @ 7PM
Summer Salt @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
Rio Romeo @ Brighton Music Hall @ 5PM
Emo Night Brooklyn @ Brighton Music Hall @ 10PM
Gimme Gimme Disco @ Big Night Live @ 9PM

SATURDAY- JUNE 10th

New England Revolution vs Inter Miami CF @ Gillette Stadium @ 7:30PM
Boston Pride Parade and Festival @ 11AM *Organized by Boston Pride For The People
Fenway Porchfest @ 12PM Now in its fourth year, Fenway Porchfest provides a unique opportunity to see musicians perform on the steps, plazas, parks, and parking lots of the neighborhood.
Gospel Night @ Symphony Hall @ 8PM This annual celebration with the Boston Pops and Boston Pops Gospel Choir features Grammy-award winning vocalist Smokie Norful!
Charlotte Klein Dance Center @ Hanover Theatre @ 11AM Celebrate the 70th anniversary of the nationally renowned dance academy with performances by its best students.
Bryan Adams @ TD Garden @ 7:30PM *With Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Fonseca @ Boch Center Shubert Theatre @ 8PM
John Mellencamp @ Boch Center Wang Theatre @ 8PM
Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue @ Leader Bank Pavilion @ 7PM
Temples @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
Tumblr Night @ Brighton Music Hall @ 8PM *Presented by Fangirl Fantasy
Pride Party @ Roadrunner @ 8PM Boston’s Biggest Pride Dance Party returns with an iconic lineup featuring Baby Tate & COBRAH, and Detox.
Sapphic Nights - PRIDE @ House of Blues @ 9PM
Chris Lake @ Big Night Live @ 9:30PM
​

SUNDAY - JUNE 11th

Queer Family Festival @ BCA Plaza Theatres @ 11AM This festival showcases family centered and queer friendly vendor expo, performances, interactive play stations, discussions, drag story hours, and more.
‘Lawrence of Arabia’ Screening @ Coolidge Corner Theatre @ 1PM The epic of all epics, David Lean’s ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ presented in 70mm!

ALL WEEKEND

THURSDAY & FRIDAY - Rick Steves’ Europe: A Symphonic Journey @ 8PM This Boston Pops performance combines Europe's most stirring Romantic-era anthems with beautiful high-definition cinematography and Rick Stevens' insights into European history.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY - Sound Baths with Guadalupe Maravilla @ ICA Join artist Guadalupe Maravilla and other sound healers for an hour-long sound bath at the ICA Watershed.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY - ‘Boogie Nights’ Screening @ Coolidge Corner Theatre For the first time, see Paul Thomas Anderson’s ‘Boogie Nights’ in 70mm, struck from the original 1997 camera negative!
SATURDAY & SUNDAY - Kevin James Stand Up @ The Wilbur @ 7PM
All weekend - Cirque du Soleil: Corteo @ Agganis Arena Cirque du Soleil’s latest production is a unique show where tragedy meets wisdom and reality blends with magic.
All weekend - 'Evita' Opera @ Loeb Drama Center @ 7:30PM Inspired by the real life of the iconic Eva Perón, this Tony-award winning rock opera is remastered and back on stage after much anticipation!

Ongoing events

Ongoing - Musical Shows @ MoS Planetarium Museum of Science puts on special experiences adapting the music of Coldplay, Rihanna, Pink Floyd, and Prince to immersive visuals in the Charles Hayden Planetarium
Ongoing - ‘Wedding Fashion and Traditions Exhibition @ MFA NEW - The exhibition explores the origins and development of wedding customs in the United States through fashion, jewelery, and photography.
Ongoing - 'E.Jane: Drenched in Light' Exhibition @ MFA E. Jane's work explores the labor and inner lives of Black women and the future of Blackness and queerness.
Ongoing - ‘Otherworldy Realms of Wu Junyong’ Exhibition @ MFA Inspired by Chinese folklore and Greek mythology, Wu Junyong’s mixed-media works seamlessly blend diverse historical traditions with his contemporary experience to express human emotions, conflicts, and aspirations that transcend time and borders.
Ongoing - 'Touching Roots' Exhibition @ MFA This exhibition traces narratives of Blackness across the Atlantic world by bringing together work from artists who absorbed and reinterpreted African artistic practices, sacred customs, and cultural expressions.
Ongoing - 'Hokusai: Inspiration and Influence' Exhibition @ MFA The exhibition explores Katsushika Hokusai's impact during his lifetime and beyond. More than 100 woodblock prints, paintings, and illustrated books by Hokusai are on view alongside about 200 works by his teachers, students, rivals, and admirers.
Ongoing - 'Who Holds Up the Sky' Exhibition @ MFA Organized in partnership with a Ukrainian NGO, this exhibition presents the work of artists who have been documenting the war—providing testimony of Russia’s crimes and a glimpse into many Ukrainian citizens’ lives.
Ongoing - 'María Berrío: The Children’s Crusade' Exhibition @ ICA Innovative, unique, and touching, María Berrío's work is a blend of watercolor painting and collaging inspired by poetry, folklore, and realms of magic and how these elements are woven into our reality.
Ongoing - Simone Leigh Exhibition @ ICA Simone Leigh’s landmark masterpieces from the 2022 Venice Biennale are now on view along her other key works.
Ongoing - ‘American Art from the Spanish Empire’ Exhibition @ Harvard Art Museums The exhibition showcases Spanish colonial paintings from South America and the Caribbean and reflects on the colonial past of the America’s and the role of art in imperialism.

I know what you're thinking: no way; there's no chance Tim Duncan is the GOAT. He's not even the best player of his generation you might say. You're thinking there's no way Tim Duncan belongs in the same category as MJ or LeBron. If you believe this, there are three things that you'll probably bring up as I make this argument.

1. The Second Act: If you're the kind of person who rates players through spreadsheets, his career in the 2010s is statistically underwhelming.
2. The Peak: You might say that Duncan never had a real peak where he was the most dominant player in the league on a daily basis, like Shaq.
3. Greg Popovich: Duncan has always had Pop, arguably the greatest coach of all time in his corner.

I hear you, and I will address these later on in this post. First, let me address Duncan's stats and accolades.
Duncan's notable accolades from his NBA career are as follows:

• 5 Championships
• 15 All-Defensive Teams (8x First Team, 7x Second Team)
• 15 All Star selections
• 2 Regular Season MVP's
• 3 Finals MVP's

Duncan's 5 championships are more than Larry Bird or Wilt Chamberlain, his 15 All-Defensive selections are the most of anybody ever, his 15 All Star appearances are tied for 3rd all time, he has as many regular season MVP's as Kobe and Shaq combined and only MJ has more Finals MVP's.
Don't forget about his college accomplishments though, because remember: Duncan came out of Wake Forest after four years despite people like Jerry West who said he could have been the number one overall pick had he left after his sophomore year.
Duncan's accolades form his collegiate years:

• 3x NABC Defensive Player of the Year
• 2x ACC Player of the Year
• 2x consensus All-American
• 1997 Naismith Player of the Year
• Most rebounds in NCAA history.

These NBA and collegiate snapshots of his basketball career, should be enough to have him at the table of the GOAT conversation. You're not convinced yet, let's dig into some more numbers.
Here's where Duncan ranks all-time on some of the major statistical categories across his NBA career:

• Points: 16th
• Rebounds: 6th
• Blocks: 5th
• Steals: 158th
• Assists: 100th

These career totals, admittedly, are substantially less impressive than other players at his position, like Kevin Garnett (19th in points, 9th in rebounds, 18th in blocks, 18th in steals, 55th in assists), Karl Malone (3rd in points, 7th in rebounds, 70th in blocks, 12th in steals, 61st in assists) or Dirk Nowitzki (6th in points, 26th in rebounds, 53rd in blocks, 94th in steals, 155th in assists). And that's because you can't judge Tim Duncan's numbers like you can with most players. Imagine in 15 years if somebody said to you that Russell Westbrook was better than Steph Curry, citing how many PTS, AST, and REB Westbrook had. You'd laugh right? Because you know that numbers do not always tell the full story. It is impossible and irresponsible to discuss a player's ranking without mentioning the stats that exists, but by measuring players purely by their basketball reference page, you're leaving out context and the story in which those numbers were achieved. That context is what makes those numbers meaningful.
Such is the case with Tim Duncan, whose success and greatness transcends a box score. You can't judge Tim Duncan with numbers alone. The fact of the matter is, that if you ran a team and if you could pick from any NBA player that ever played the game, and your goal is to win, you would pick Tim Duncan.
Offensively, Duncan was dominant for his first ten years in the NBA. From '98 to '08, he averaged 21.6/11.8/3.1 while playing on one of the slowest teams in the league. In that span, the Spurs never ranked in the top half of the league for PACE. Adjusting his stats for PACE and looking at his stats per 100 possessions (31.2/17.1/4.5 with 3.5 BLK at 50.8 FG%), you're looking at a big man who was every bit as productive as any other offensive player in the league at the time.
You already know about his skillset. He was, after all, The Big Fundamental. He could pass out of double teams, face up and break down the defense with surprising agility, consistently knock down shots from the elbows, and torch any big man in the league with his array of moves in the post and suddenly imposing physicality. He could masterfully run a PnR with any guard with working limbs. And, of course, he had his signature bank shot, one of the most consistent and reliable shots of all time along with Kareem's Sky Hook and Dirk's fadeaway. Those skills never deteriorated throughout his career, except perhaps his last year.
This is where I want to attack the 2nd idea that his second act was unexceptional. His scoring numbers dipped in last 8 years, where he never averaged over 20 PPG. But, as the Spurs offense became more collaborative and free-flowing, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili shouldered more of that scoring burden as Duncan aged. Duncan's shot attempts fell, though he remained efficient. His skills hadn't waned; the Spurs just didn't need him to score 28 points every night. He retained his role as alpha dog during this stretch and contributed in other facets of the game. He could pick his spots, put his teammates in position to succeed, and save himself undue punishment and wear until is was needed. That's why in 2013, at the age of 36, he became the oldest player ever named to First Team All-NBA.
Duncan was never a prolific scorer, even in his prime. His game was never predicated on gawdy point totals like Malone or Dirk. With a different offense, he took fewer shots, and with fewer shots, he scored fewer points. In his last eight years, he remained a tremendous rebounder, was the go-to guy in crunch time, and the best defender, maybe ever. And this is what hurt his stats: the lack of flashy numbers for defense outside of blocks and steals. It's so hard to measure how much a drive was cut off because of his presence or a shot that was altered because of his contention. There are some metrics that attempt to measure this, like DRTG, Defensive Win Shares, and Defensive +/- , and while it is an inexact science, these measures do a fairly good job at assessing a player's impact on defense. Duncan's ranking in those metrics is unmatched:

• 95.6 DRT (3rd all time)
• 106.3 Defensive Win Shares (2nd all time)
• Defensive +/- (5th all time)
  These metrics along with his All-Defensive selections serve as a testament to how Duncan thrived when the opponent had the ball. Legendary basketball writer, Jack McCalllum wrote this for SI in 2016 after Duncan retired:
  

"Duncan guarded centers and power forwards (sometimes even small forwards) with equal success. And as the NBA became more and more of a high pick-and-roll game, Duncan accepted the extra responsibility of getting involved at the perimeter, while never abandoning basket responsibility. Nobody was better than Duncan at being both an advance guard and the final fortress."
FiveThirtyEight published this article in 2016, where analyst Neil Paine calculated career WAR values that took into consideration defense and offense, and Tim Duncan led the WAR rankings, by a mile:

1. Tim Duncan: 109.2
2. KG: 96.2
3. Karl Malone: 95.4
4. David Robinson: 89.3
5. Hakeem: 85.9
6. LeBron: 82.8
7. Kareem: 78
8. Larry Bird: 74.2
9. Shaq: 73
10. Pippen: 72.7

What does all of this mean? It means that Duncan was a tremendous offensive player, despite the lack of volume, and one of if not the greatest defenders of all time. In short, his value as a two-way player is virtually unmatched in the last 50 years of NBA basketball.
Enough with the numbers. I want to talk about Duncan when it mattered the most: the playoffs. You can look at any numbers, read any article, or talk to any fan who paid attention to the game at the time, and you'll come to the same conclusion: Tim Duncan was a killer in the playoffs. All of his most memorable performances came in the postseason, and more often than not, came in crucial games when his team needed him most. From his near quadruple double in 2003 to close out the Nets and earn his 2nd championship to his 25 point first half against the Heat in Game 6 of the 2013 Finals ten years later, there was never a moment too big for Duncan. Here are his playoff numbers, significantly higher in almost every category than he his in the regular season:

• Points: 6th
• Rebounds: 3rd
• Blocks: 1st
• Steals: 46th
• Assists: 33rd

His '99 championship run was phenomenal, where he tore through a young Kevin Garnett, the newly assembled Kobe-Shaq Lakers, Rasheed Wallace's Trailblazers, and the Patrick Ewing-less 8-seed Knicks on his way to being named the second youngest Finals MVP ever. His 2002 campaign was incredibly underrated, as he carried one of the worst teams of his career to 60 wins and outplayed Shaq before being beat by the two-time champs. His 2003 season was his best season, and we'll get to that in a second. Just know that his running mate, David Robinson, averaged 8.5 PTS and 8 REB in the regular season and that Duncan's 5.9 win shares in that playoff run remain the most of anybody in a single postseason.
In the mid-to-late 2000s, Duncan's Spurs remained a fixture in the playoffs against competition like Dirk's Mavs, Nash's Suns, and Kobe's Lakers. He repaid them with two more titles in '05 and '07. He also gave us one of the clutch shots of his career in Game 1 against the Suns in 2008 with this 3 point game-tying three pointer in OT.
Like I said earlier, in Game 6 of the 2013 Finals, at age 36, playing against Wade, Bosh, and apex LeBron on the road, Duncan put up 25 points in the first half. It would have gone down as an all-time series clinching performance had it not been for Ray Allen's iconic game-tying 3-pointer. Looking for revenge in the 2014 Finals, Duncan set the tone in Game 1 with the classic 21/10 game, while shooting 9/10 from the field. As his final playoff hurrah in 2015, trying to defend the title at the ripe age of 38 in Game 7 of a first round series against the Clippers, Duncan reached all the way back and put up 27/11, sinking crucial free throws to tie it, before Chris Paul hit a clutch, game-winning shot near the buzzer.
The same Tim Duncan giving the business to a 22-year-old Kevin Garnett, was the same Tim Duncan taking a 26-year-old DeAndre Jordan to school. Duncan was ready to win championships from the day he entered the league to the day he left. And I think that is why his peak is used against him as an argument for GOAT status. The fact that his championship window lasted his entire 19-year NBA career and that his teams were always somewhere between 50 and 60 wins meant that it's hard for any one of his seasons to stand out from the rest. And for some unfathomable reason, being consistently great is less of an accomplishment than being great for short stints.
Like I said, his 2003 season was his best, after leading his team to 60 wins and his 2nd consecutive MVP, Duncan eviscerated everything in his path as he tore through the playoffs. He upended the Suns, ended the Lakers 3-year reign as champions, and outdueled Dirk before absolutely torching the Nets in the finals. By the time he was holding the trophy, it was clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that Duncan was the league's best, most complete player.
Now, I'd be lying if I said that Duncan's peak was higher than Shaq's. But I also wouldn't feel comfortable saying that the difference between the two is great enough for me to lose sleep over. To me, the truth is that Shaq was so much more of a spectacle. To watch peak Shaq was an experience unlike anything else. To see someone of his size and stature move so powerfully and fluidly is still something of a miracle. To see Duncan at the peak of his powers was a lot like seeing him seven or eight years later. He was just a little faster, a bit stronger, and a touch quicker in his prime. But do aesthetics denote superiority? I'd say, no. And though Shaq in his prime was certainly a more dominant offensive player, there was never a time where he could match Duncan's abilities as a defender, leader, or teammate. The two are the antithesis of each other. Shaq loves fame; Duncan loathes it. Shaq would sometimes show up to training camp out of shape, often battle with his co-stars and finished his career having played for six different teams. Duncan took great care of his body, cemented himself as the cornerstone of his franchise, and is one of the most celebrated teammates in NBA history. Shaq left a little on the table. You can never say the same thing about Duncan. Shaq cared a little too much about what everyone thought of him, while Duncan couldn't have cared less.
Let's tackle the third criticism: that he always had Pop. To me, Pop is the greatest coach of all time, but he would be the first one to tell you that he wouldn't be here without Tim Duncan.
For one, Duncan can play any style of basketball, in any era. You want to go slow school, old-pace, dump it off to the big man down low, let him bang and be solid on defense? Titles. Remove the hand-checking and illegal defenses, increase scoring and start moving toward the perimeter? Titles. The league goes small ball, the pace explodes and shooting and ball movement is more important than anything? The largest margin of victory in NBA finals history.
Secondly, he can play with any team. Honestly, has any superstar done more with less? Jordan had Pippen his entire run and Rodman for the last half. Bird had McHale and Parish. Wilt had West and Hal Grier. Russell had Cousy, Jones, and Havlicek. Magic had Kareem and vice-versa. Kobe had Shaq and vice-versa. And LeBron has had Wade, Kyrie, and AD. Duncan's best teammates? Old David Robinson, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili, who combined for 5 Third Team All NBA appearances and 4 Second Team appearances during their time with Duncan. Parker and Ginobili are long shots for the HOF, and even though Robinson's in the HOF, he wasn't playing at a HOF level alongside Duncan.
Third, and most importantly, Duncan forged the culture of the Spurs. Pop was essential in acquiring players and reinforcing the culture that Tim wanted, but Duncan was truly the most vital component. The NBA is a star-driven league and finding a great player who hasn't gotten a coach fired is like finding a good Star Wars movie: they're few and far between. Not only did Duncan not get Pop fired, he let Pop coach him harder than any superstar ever. If Tim had ever thought to himself, "you know what I don't feel like getting my chops roasted in front of the whole team today because I didn't box out well in practice" he could have gone right to RC Buford, and Pop would have been gone - end of story. But Tim understood what Pop was about, and trusted him enough to be mentored in an unprecedented way. He set the example for his teammates, that no one is immune to criticism and that it's expected of everyone to leave their egos at the door.
In 2017, the Spurs SB Nation blog, Pounding the Rock, spoke to Sam Walker, author of "The Captain Class," a book which examines winning culture in team sports, from field hockey to rugby. In an exchange, Walker said this:
"[T]he book's main conclusion is that the only one factor that must be present in order to maintain greatness over a long period of time is the presence of a particular kind of selfless, relentless, independent-minded, publicity-averse, emotionally composed captain with strong communication skills. And that's Tim Duncan. Duncan was a pure example of the species."
I love Pop, but I have to believe that Duncan was the catalyst that powered Pop to be what he is now. This isn't Belichick-Brady where you wonder who made who. Pop is the greatest coach of all time, because of Tim Duncan. If you want to take credit away from Duncan by saying he played for the best teams, you might be right, but only because he made them the best team. He gave up touches, let other guys hold the torch, put everyone around him in the best position to succeed, and he enjoyed it when they did.
When I said earlier that the thing that hurt Duncan's stats more than anything was a lack of defensive numbers, I lied. The thing that hurt Duncan's stats more than anything was the fact that he never gave a shit about stats or awards. Ever. He wanted his teams to succeed and he wanted to win. That's it. Just read about how his teammates talk about him:
"The best PF ever! Thanks for the memories old man. A great player and teammate."
- Lamarcus Aldridge
"Sometimes all you NEED to say is THANK YOU....To the BEST EXAMPLE of a Leader, Brother, Friend."
- Bruce Brown
"Even tho I knew it was coming, I'm still moved by the news. What a HUGE honor to have played with [Duncan] for 14 seasons!
- Manu Ginobili
I don't think there is a more beloved teammate than Tim Duncan. In the words of NBA commissioner Adam Silver, "...his understated selflessness made him the ultimate teammate." Duncan was always the big brother. Correcting his teammates when they made mistakes and throwing his arms around their shoulders when things didn't go their way. He led in the most effective way possible, not with tweeting, bombastic words, or showy halftime speeches, but by example.
Of all the end-of-career farewell wishes, the one from his former teammate, Brent "Bones" Barry stuck out to me the most. He quoted Mark Twain, saying "'To be good is noble, but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble'; for your brilliance TD, I am grateful. For your skills as a player I am in awe. And for your friendship I am honored."
Milwaukee Bucks coach and former Spurs Assistant, Mike Budenholzer said to ESPN's Kevin Arnovitz in 2016: "The magnitude of that, the number of people in this league who have enjoyed opportunity or found fortunate spots in the league, you can trace it back to this one guy -- to the way Timmy played ball and the way he conducted himself. The 'culture' is Timmy."
The NBA is a league of superstars and dynasties - from Russell to Jordan, from Wilt to LeBron. We'll remember its history through its champions, and in the history of North American sports, no team has been as good for as long as the Spurs. San Antonio's success is completely unprecedented in the world of basketball. Aside from his lockout shortened sophomore season, Duncan won 50 or more games and qualified for the playoffs in every season of his NBA career. He finished his career with a win percentage of 71%, the highest of anyone, in any sport, ever. The Spurs run of success started in 1997, the year they drafted Duncan. Since then, he was the cornerstone, the engine of the franchise that has perpetually defined what winning culture looks like - in and outside of basketball.
And so I say again, if you could pick any NBA player from any era of basketball and your goal was to win, you would pick Tim Duncan. His abilities as a basketball player are what made him a superstar. But his consistency, willingness to be coached, love and support of his teammates, and humility are the things that make him transcendent.
I'll let Pop have the last word. This is what he said to the press after Duncan announced his retirement:
"Everybody always talks about who they'd like to eat dinner with, if you had one night and you could go to dinner or lunch with someone. Some people say Mother Teresa, Jesus, the Dalai Lama...I could honestly tell you, my dinner would be with Timmy. He is the most real, consistent, true person I've ever met in my life."

Support the story on Nosleep Here.
My father was not a good man, I know this. But when I think of him, I first recall his warmth, his kindness, and his strength. I remember vividly watching him toil away at backbreaking labor to support us. I was amazed by the strength of his hands, and how gentle they were with me. And then my stomach drops into a pit because now I know that with those same hands, he took the lives of countless innocent people.
My earliest memory is of him. I was 4 and I was trying to convince him to let me take in a stray dog I had found wandering an abandoned lot.
“We can’t, it’d be too much trouble to lug the mutt around, we have a hard enough time with just the two of us.” He said.
“We can leave him with lots of food until we come back,” I countered.
“Dogs aren’t like people, they’re bound by instinct. If you leave a month's worth of food out for a dog it won’t ration its food out so that it can eat happily for a month, no it’ll gorge itself and eat all the food available to it, that’s its nature, its instinct. And once there’s nothing left and hunger creeps in it might go out into the world in search of a new meal, and we’ve already learned that its instinct is to consume as much as it can while it can. That’s why we’re around, to control that which is bestial.” He said, his eyes tainted with an existential melancholy.
Even now when I think about it a trickle of cold sweat crawls achingly slow down the side of my brow, he was so close to telling me the truth back then. I wondered if the possibility of passing on his burden was what caused the derailment of his life lesson.
Our life was unconventional, spent in countless cheap, dirty roadside motels as we trekked aimlessly through the states. Sometimes we slept in abandoned lots and dark parking lots and on cold nights we clung to each other, knowing that there was no one else in the world that would care for us, but us. He tried his best to provide for me and I never went hungry, even on our worst days his patience and understanding were unmatched by any man I have known sense.
The first time I suspected my father was involved in something grisly was when I was 9. He had left me alone in our motel with the TV on and a pizza box. He must have been gone for 11 hours at least, and I began to worry that something terrible happened to him. The entire week something had been off, there was a heaviness in the air, and a chill seemed to stalk us. It was the middle of a brutal summer but every enclosed space I found myself in was wicked of its heat until the very breaths I exhaled were visible. I noticed that my father was suffering from some mental fatigue, was more irritable than usual, and had a mounting nervousness that made him quick to sequester us in our hotel. He left that day saying that there was something he needed to do but promised he’d be back. But as the clock neared 1 am I was afraid that I’d never see him again.
The relief I felt when he rushed into our hotel room was short-lived when I saw the state he was in. His dark hair was disheveled, splattered with a slick substance, and his eyes were crazed. What stood out most of all was the angry red lines criss-crossing his face and neck. He told me to get my things as he quickly made his way into the shower. I did as I was told, the panicked tone of his voice infused a frenzy into my movements, and all I owned was half haphazardly thrown into my backpack. My father stepped out of the shower and as he dressed I noticed the deep scratches raked into his forearms and back, even at that age it was unmistakable. Violence.
We drove away from that motel in silence, with no alarm or danger given voice by my father. But an undeniable sense of wrongness lingered in the air, heavy and undispellable, I knew deep in the pit of my gut that we had committed some great evil. Dad however was at ease, as if some great weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, and as days passed I noticed the stalking cold had faded.
3 years passed and I had smartened up by then and as I began to recall and re-examine, I began to piece things together. Through the layers of denial and rationalization, I knew what he had done. I held on to the hope that the motel incident was the last time, that we could move forward and with time, forget. And then he killed Morgan. There was a build-up to it, that same strange chill, the sense of impending doom, and then Dad left like he always did, and when he came back the stalking specter was gone and so was Morgan. I didn’t know him, couldn’t bring myself to even look into him even now. I only caught wind of him through a radio broadcast as we hastily left yet another small town. My dad quickly switched stations and I knew it had been him. I think he knew that I knew then, the nervousness in both our eyes communicating more between us than we’d ever could with words.
I took part in my first murder at 15. It wasn’t planned, wasn’t a rite of passage. It was more like a car crash, flying at 120 miles per hour straight into the embankment. Her name was Laurie Artwood, a local prostitute. I forced myself to look this time even if it was a glance at a driver's license moments before it was tossed into flames. Her name, her face, all seared into the flesh of my mind. It was the moment she stepped out bloodied and starry-eyed as a curtain of blood cascaded down the side of her head. A flap of flesh dangled loosely from her scalp, weighed and dragged down by curly auburn hair. As we locked eyes and hope flushed into her iris I looked away and saw the crimson-slicked and chipped exposed skull. She screamed then and I flinched and doubled back at her, seeing the desperate sprint she made towards the car I had been sleeping in. Dad closed the distance, spriting on long powerful legs, the glint of a deadly metal arc flashing briefly in the moonlight before he brought the ax down with a powerful and meaty THWACK
I saw the light leave her eyes as the floor rushed up to meet her. Dad pried the ax loose with a foot and brought it down thrice more. I watched in horror, spewing vomit and tears as a blood rain coated the floor and car. I was comatose by the time he finally entered the driver's seat, the crazed look from 6 years earlier was mirrored and I knew he had always been like this. He chanted “fuck” under his breath, like a mantra as he scrambled to start the car and when the engine roared to life silence fell like a guillotine. We drove off into the night and I was left with the knowledge that I had killed her with my inaction.
Dawn was starting to peek through the horizon when we finally came to some unnamed backwater town with a self-serve car wash. I watched as Dad fed the machine a handful of quarters and proceeded to wash the car clean. The cold spray made the bitter morning cold all the harsher, and with each passing moment, I felt the question, the demand bubbling up inside me.
“Why?” I asked, quietly.
It cleaved through the whir and sound of pressurized water and Dad heard it, turned to face me, and said “Soon.” so we waited until the water ran clear and the sun rose and off we drove to some far-flung forest edge where he pulled over. A cigarette was lit and Dad took a long drag until his lungs hurt and he couldn’t hold it any longer. He breathed the plume of smoke out painting the world gray and held out the cigarette to me and I answered with a contemptuous glare.
“Alright, I guess it’s time you knew. You’d find out sooner or later, this thing will pass on to you eventually,” he said.
“Thing?”
“You’ve felt it before, I’m sure you have. The way it hungers, the way it loathes, and the way it schemes.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked but in the pit of my stomach, I had an inkling of what he meant.
He reached out and for a moment I froze, but this was my Dad, he wouldn’t hurt me, couldn’t. So I let him take hold of my shoulders and turn me to face the sunrise.
“If it’s here, it means they haven’t found her body yet, you can’t see it by looking through your eyes. Think of what you have and what you’ve lost. What I’ve taken from you because I couldn’t bear the thought of doing this alone.”
I did, I could have had a normal life, friends, a family, first love. Anything but this vagrant lifestyle, knowing the person you cherished the most was a monster and having him drag you into his hell. And then I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, a longing blossoming and the crushing weight of its existence.
“Now show yourself,” he said
And in the glow of the morning sun, it did. I didn’t know if the thing was malformed or degraded, just that it didn’t belong. Multiple forms convened and interlaced within the same space, upon a glance it was a human silhouette, weaved in shadow. But in that same instance, it was a cuboid thing, far too large for the space it existed in, its surface pocked and scarred by clockwork machinery, passages, and labyrinthian tunnels. It was constantly turning, shifting, and restructuring, I didn’t know where to look. If I focused on its maze-like circuitry I would lose myself in the maddening scramble to navigate them. And if I saw the black of its being I would that beneath it all was a maw that opened wide and lapped hungrily at the world around it, feeding on something that still evaded me.
I tried to recoil, tried to move away from it but Dad caught me and held me firm, forcing me to gaze into the thing. Its once semi-translucent form grew vivid and real, solidifying its existence. A cloud of black smoke was being pulled from me into the hungry maws of its shadow self and in turn the machinery and clockworks of its exterior. It was devouring some part of me and it horrified me enough to try to turn and run but Dad’s firm hands held me still as he spoke.
“I think it might have had a purpose at one point, to lessen the weight of some great tragedy. But with time even blessings can become curses. I don’t know why it latched onto us, whether it was born or made, just that it needs to feed. And if we don’t feed it and control its urges, it might go out into the world and gorge itself on the grief it brings. The knowledge that I’m sparing the world from the havoc it could wreck is my sin and burden, and now… yours.”
I stood transfixed, gaze locked on the thing that fed on grief and stalked our bloodline and then it came to me, a question I had pondered but never voiced.
“What happened to Mom?”
I turned to face him and saw him drowning in pain, in guilt, in remorse. He looked away, and I knew. The world spun as bile threatened to force its way up. My lip quivered as I turned away, preferring to face the grief-devouring demon. But it had already faded to a phantasm, a moment later nothing remained.
“They found her.” was all my father said before he got back in the car. The moment of hesitation dragged out for what felt like an eternity but eventually, I was in the passenger seat alongside him, wondering how long this thing would be able to feed on the grief my father wrought that night before he’d have to do it again.
2 years, 2 short years before the grief demon manifested again. I understood now, why it stuck close to us, why no suspicion ever came to us. It was a parasite, leeching from whoever it could with the least amount of effort. I tried telling dad if we let it starve it would go somewhere else, but he feared the lengths it would to feed itself.
“The world is drowning in pain, there’s no shortage of ways for it to gorge itself,” I told him.
“I can’t risk that, no one should suffer this, no one but me,” and he was off, searching for his next victim, unaware it was the last time we’d see each other.
He never found them, not that night. When he returned to the motel he found it empty. I took what I had and caught a bus to anywhere else, and kept going until I no longer could. The monstrous thing followed me for a night but when I greeted the following dawn it was gone and I knew Dad was the one grieving. The lump in my heart wasn’t heavy enough to turn my pace, I kept moving because it was all I could do. I found a job as a laborer, taking whatever anyone was willing to give me and for two years I broke my back scrounging change for nothing. Half a year ago I came home to my shitty apartment, opening the door I was greeted by a bone-deep chill and I froze. In the center of the room upon a thrifted coffee table it stood, crouched itself. The labyrinthian clockwork had slowed to a crawl and their underlying hungry mouths lapped up at the empty air. Some of them grinned at me, expectantly.
A scream tried to tear its way up my body but it was drowned out by something else, a smoldering emotion on the verge of catching flame. As the implication of the demon’s appearance settled in I felt it, grief. And then I cried, I cried for all I had lost and for what I never had. I cried, hoping to drown a space within me that grew with every second. As I collapsed into myself as the mechanisms of this thing unwound and opened and encircled me. The maws bit down deep on the flames of my pain and I drowned in the crushing weight of its presence, suffocated by my fire and its hunger. I was immobilized by it at first, as it fed on the grief cultivated over a lifetime. Days passed, then weeks, and then a month before a moment of clarity. A burden eased and I sought him out. Claimed his body and did what I could. It wasn’t much but the tiny urn they gave me could at least be carried until I found the courage to let him go.
I’ve carried them ever since. Their weight is great and some days I buckle and fall but I know that with each passing day, it gets easier, even if only a little. It won’t ever fade completely, I know that, but one day it’ll be ok. I’ll climb to his favorite cliffside, one that overlooked a redwood forest and there I’ll toss our burdens to the wind, let them be scattered, and be returned to the earth. The demon might stick around a bit longer, maybe much longer than anticipated. But I won’t let it be my cross to bear. I don’t know what it’ll do. Maybe it’ll latch onto someone else, maybe it will coast through the world feeding on the suffering as it passes them. Maybe Dad was right and it’ll gorge on the whole of the world’s grief until it can’t. Somehow I doubt that, not through any logical reasoning but because it’s what I have to believe if I want to live with myself. The only thing I know is that I’ll keep trudging forward until I can’t.
TW

My father was not a good man, I know this. But when I think of him, I first recall his warmth, his kindness, and his strength. I remember vividly watching him toil away at backbreaking labor to support us. I was amazed by the strength of his hands, and how gentle they were with me. And then my stomach drops into a pit because now I know that with those same hands, he took the lives of countless innocent people.
My earliest memory is of him. I was 4 and I was trying to convince him to let me take in a stray dog I had found wandering an abandoned lot.
“We can’t, it’d be too much trouble to lug the mutt around, we have a hard enough time with just the two of us.” He said.
“We can leave him with lots of food until we come back,” I countered.
“Dogs aren’t like people, they’re bound by instinct. If you leave a month's worth of food out for a dog it won’t ration its food out so that it can eat happily for a month, no it’ll gorge itself and eat all the food available to it, that’s its nature, its instinct. And once there’s nothing left and hunger creeps in it might go out into the world in search of a new meal, and we’ve already learned that its instinct is to consume as much as it can while it can. That’s why we’re around, to control that which is bestial.” He said, his eyes tainted with an existential melancholy.
Even now when I think about it a trickle of cold sweat crawls achingly slow down the side of my brow, he was so close to telling me the truth back then. I wondered if the possibility of passing on his burden was what caused the derailment of his life lesson.
Our life was unconventional, spent in countless cheap, dirty roadside motels as we trekked aimlessly through the states. Sometimes we slept in abandoned lots and dark parking lots and on cold nights we clung to each other, knowing that there was no one else in the world that would care for us, but us. He tried his best to provide for me and I never went hungry, even on our worst days his patience and understanding were unmatched by any man I have known sense.
The first time I suspected my father was involved in something grisly was when I was 9. He had left me alone in our motel with the TV on and a pizza box. He must have been gone for 11 hours at least, and I began to worry that something terrible happened to him. The entire week something had been off, there was a heaviness in the air, and a chill seemed to stalk us. It was the middle of a brutal summer but every enclosed space I found myself in was wicked of its heat until the very breaths I exhaled were visible. I noticed that my father was suffering from some mental fatigue, was more irritable than usual, and had a mounting nervousness that made him quick to sequester us in our hotel. He left that day saying that there was something he needed to do but promised he’d be back. But as the clock neared 1 am I was afraid that I’d never see him again.
The relief I felt when he rushed into our hotel room was short-lived when I saw the state he was in. His dark hair was disheveled, splattered with a slick substance, and his eyes were crazed. What stood out most of all was the angry red lines criss-crossing his face and neck. He told me to get my things as he quickly made his way into the shower. I did as I was told, the panicked tone of his voice infused a frenzy into my movements, and all I owned was half haphazardly thrown into my backpack. My father stepped out of the shower and as he dressed I noticed the deep scratches raked into his forearms and back, even at that age it was unmistakable. Violence.
We drove away from that motel in silence, with no alarm or danger given voice by my father. But an undeniable sense of wrongness lingered in the air, heavy and undispellable, I knew deep in the pit of my gut that we had committed some great evil. Dad however was at ease, as if some great weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, and as days passed I noticed the stalking cold had faded.
3 years passed and I had smartened up by then and as I began to recall and re-examine, I began to piece things together. Through the layers of denial and rationalization, I knew what he had done. I held on to the hope that the motel incident was the last time, that we could move forward and with time, forget. And then he killed Morgan. There was a build-up to it, that same strange chill, the sense of impending doom, and then Dad left like he always did, and when he came back the stalking specter was gone and so was Morgan. I didn’t know him, couldn’t bring myself to even look into him even now. I only caught wind of him through a radio broadcast as we hastily left yet another small town. My dad quickly switched stations and I knew it had been him. I think he knew that I knew then, the nervousness in both our eyes communicating more between us than we’d ever could with words.
I took part in my first murder at 15. It wasn’t planned, wasn’t a rite of passage. It was more like a car crash, flying at 120 miles per hour straight into the embankment. Her name was Laurie Artwood, a local prostitute. I forced myself to look this time even if it was a glance at a driver's license moments before it was tossed into flames. Her name, her face, all seared into the flesh of my mind. It was the moment she stepped out bloodied and starry-eyed as a curtain of blood cascaded down the side of her head. A flap of flesh dangled loosely from her scalp, weighed and dragged down by curly auburn hair. As we locked eyes and hope flushed into her iris I looked away and saw the crimson-slicked and chipped exposed skull. She screamed then and I flinched and doubled back at her, seeing the desperate sprint she made towards the car I had been sleeping in. Dad closed the distance, spriting on long powerful legs, the glint of a deadly metal arc flashing briefly in the moonlight before he brought the ax down with a powerful and meaty THWACK
I saw the light leave her eyes as the floor rushed up to meet her. Dad pried the ax loose with a foot and brought it down thrice more. I watched in horror, spewing vomit and tears as a blood rain coated the floor and car. I was comatose by the time he finally entered the driver's seat, the crazed look from 6 years earlier was mirrored and I knew he had always been like this. He chanted “fuck” under his breath, like a mantra as he scrambled to start the car and when the engine roared to life silence fell like a guillotine. We drove off into the night and I was left with the knowledge that I had killed her with my inaction.
Dawn was starting to peek through the horizon when we finally came to some unnamed backwater town with a self-serve car wash. I watched as Dad fed the machine a handful of quarters and proceeded to wash the car clean. The cold spray made the bitter morning cold all the harsher, and with each passing moment, I felt the question, the demand bubbling up inside me.
“Why?” I asked, quietly.
It cleaved through the whir and sound of pressurized water and Dad heard it, turned to face me, and said “Soon.” so we waited until the water ran clear and the sun rose and off we drove to some far-flung forest edge where he pulled over. A cigarette was lit and Dad took a long drag until his lungs hurt and he couldn’t hold it any longer. He breathed the plume of smoke out painting the world gray and held out the cigarette to me and I answered with a contemptuous glare.
“Alright, I guess it’s time you knew. You’d find out sooner or later, this thing will pass on to you eventually,” he said.
“Thing?”
“You’ve felt it before, I’m sure you have. The way it hungers, the way it loathes, and the way it schemes.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked but in the pit of my stomach, I had an inkling of what he meant.
He reached out and for a moment I froze, but this was my Dad, he wouldn’t hurt me, couldn’t. So I let him take hold of my shoulders and turn me to face the sunrise.
“If it’s here, it means they haven’t found her body yet, you can’t see it by looking through your eyes. Think of what you have and what you’ve lost. What I’ve taken from you because I couldn’t bear the thought of doing this alone.”
I did, I could have had a normal life, friends, a family, first love. Anything but this vagrant lifestyle, knowing the person you cherished the most was a monster and having him drag you into his hell. And then I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, a longing blossoming and the crushing weight of its existence.
“Now show yourself,” he said
And in the glow of the morning sun, it did. I didn’t know if the thing was malformed or degraded, just that it didn’t belong. Multiple forms convened and interlaced within the same space, upon a glance it was a human silhouette, weaved in shadow. But in that same instance, it was a cuboid thing, far too large for the space it existed in, its surface pocked and scarred by clockwork machinery, passages, and labyrinthian tunnels. It was constantly turning, shifting, and restructuring, I didn’t know where to look. If I focused on its maze-like circuitry I would lose myself in the maddening scramble to navigate them. And if I saw the black of its being I would that beneath it all was a maw that opened wide and lapped hungrily at the world around it, feeding on something that still evaded me.
I tried to recoil, tried to move away from it but Dad caught me and held me firm, forcing me to gaze into the thing. Its once semi-translucent form grew vivid and real, solidifying its existence. A cloud of black smoke was being pulled from me into the hungry maws of its shadow self and in turn the machinery and clockworks of its exterior. It was devouring some part of me and it horrified me enough to try to turn and run but Dad’s firm hands held me still as he spoke.
“I think it might have had a purpose at one point, to lessen the weight of some great tragedy. But with time even blessings can become curses. I don’t know why it latched onto us, whether it was born or made, just that it needs to feed. And if we don’t feed it and control its urges, it might go out into the world and gorge itself on the grief it brings. The knowledge that I’m sparing the world from the havoc it could wreck is my sin and burden, and now… yours.”
I stood transfixed, gaze locked on the thing that fed on grief and stalked our bloodline and then it came to me, a question I had pondered but never voiced.
“What happened to Mom?”
I turned to face him and saw him drowning in pain, in guilt, in remorse. He looked away, and I knew. The world spun as bile threatened to force its way up. My lip quivered as I turned away, preferring to face the grief-devouring demon. But it had already faded to a phantasm, a moment later nothing remained.
“They found her.” was all my father said before he got back in the car. The moment of hesitation dragged out for what felt like an eternity but eventually, I was in the passenger seat alongside him, wondering how long this thing would be able to feed on the grief my father wrought that night before he’d have to do it again.
2 years, 2 short years before the grief demon manifested again. I understood now, why it stuck close to us, why no suspicion ever came to us. It was a parasite, leeching from whoever it could with the least amount of effort. I tried telling dad if we let it starve it would go somewhere else, but he feared the lengths it would to feed itself.
“The world is drowning in pain, there’s no shortage of ways for it to gorge itself,” I told him.
“I can’t risk that, no one should suffer this, no one but me,” and he was off, searching for his next victim, unaware it was the last time we’d see each other.
He never found them, not that night. When he returned to the motel he found it empty. I took what I had and caught a bus to anywhere else, and kept going until I no longer could. The monstrous thing followed me for a night but when I greeted the following dawn it was gone and I knew Dad was the one grieving. The lump in my heart wasn’t heavy enough to turn my pace, I kept moving because it was all I could do. I found a job as a laborer, taking whatever anyone was willing to give me and for two years I broke my back scrounging change for nothing. Half a year ago I came home to my shitty apartment, opening the door I was greeted by a bone-deep chill and I froze. In the center of the room upon a thrifted coffee table it stood, crouched itself. The labyrinthian clockwork had slowed to a crawl and their underlying hungry mouths lapped up at the empty air. Some of them grinned at me, expectantly.
A scream tried to tear its way up my body but it was drowned out by something else, a smoldering emotion on the verge of catching flame. As the implication of the demon’s appearance settled in I felt it, grief. And then I cried, I cried for all I had lost and for what I never had. I cried, hoping to drown a space within me that grew with every second. As I collapsed into myself as the mechanisms of this thing unwound and opened and encircled me. The maws bit down deep on the flames of my pain and I drowned in the crushing weight of its presence, suffocated by my fire and its hunger. I was immobilized by it at first, as it fed on the grief cultivated over a lifetime. Days passed, then weeks, and then a month before a moment of clarity. A burden eased and I sought him out. Claimed his body and did what I could. It wasn’t much but the tiny urn they gave me could at least be carried until I found the courage to let him go.
I’ve carried them ever since. Their weight is great and some days I buckle and fall but I know that with each passing day, it gets easier, even if only a little. It won’t ever fade completely, I know that, but one day it’ll be ok. I’ll climb to his favorite cliffside, one that overlooked a redwood forest and there I’ll toss our burdens to the wind, let them be scattered, and be returned to the earth. The demon might stick around a bit longer, maybe much longer than anticipated. But I won’t let it be my cross to bear. I don’t know what it’ll do. Maybe it’ll latch onto someone else, maybe it will coast through the world feeding on the suffering as it passes them. Maybe Dad was right and it’ll gorge on the whole of the world’s grief until it can’t. Somehow I doubt that, not through any logical reasoning but because it’s what I have to believe if I want to live with myself. The only thing I know is that I’ll keep trudging forward until I can’t.
TW

We will be spending 3 days in the park next week. Saw someone else post their itinerary so i figured I would do the same. Let me know your thoughts!

A lone songbird comes to rest atop a crumbling, ruined wall of granite and blood-mossed shale, where dawn's fresh dew enchants the rising sun. This mile-long stack of stone most ancient, most holy, shall soon sing with every honour 'pon this annual feast of fury. Listen well, now, o'er from low-slung hill to meagre field beyond most unassuming, as the distant thunder of weathered war-drums escorts its peasant legions proud. To the chime of pike and mace, of mail and plate, two armies now ascend, awash with eager incantations whose well-spring spoils most nobly. For to Kærwynn they have come, to the Wall of Empires fallen. For sport and skirmish, to honour and afoul, to fill the summer sky with burnished standards bold and shimmering. To sing again that fiery, transcendent song of flailing fist and elbow, where spill and shear their blood and flesh 'pon this most merry, handsome day! Come, friends, come enthralled! For the time of our Field & Feast has come! For glory, then, to Kærwynn, called! Onwards, Onwards, Onwards, All!
​

What is Kærwynn?

The site of an ancient, barely remembered siege, where once stood a Hill-Top Fort. All that remains now is a vague stone wall, cutting through the centre of a wide, grassy plateau. Every year, two towns send forth a peasant rabble to partake in a sporting tournament of indiscriminate chaos, violence and brutality. The rules - though often wildly flouted and prone to spur many a disagreement - are fairly simple. The two opposing Village "armies" attempt to hold, and carry, a nettle-stuffed goat-bladder - coated in grease and set alight - back and forth across the remains of Kaerwynn's crumbling wall. Weapons are strictly prohibited, as is the use of magic. Should the ball be at any point transported across this bygone bloodstone stack, a point is scored, signalled to the crowds by a screaming arrow loosed above Kærwynn. None in living memory have heard this sound. The contest begins just as the sun is most high, and the first star seen near sunlight's fall brings the game to its end. The feasting, music, and merrymaking continues for many days thereafter.
​

Sights, Sounds, & Smells

Use this section as a quick reference during play, or at the start of a Session to refresh your GM senses! Sights
- Huge roaming crowds of bawdy, bruised, drunken, brash, jolly folk of all manner & persuasion. - Horses and oxen, Barrows and carts, bundled and stacked with produce and wares for sale. - Fires, encampments, tents & bivouacs. - A great and misty field upon a downland plateau.
Sounds - Cheers, whoops, hollers, yawls, screams, & songs. - The thundering of many hundreds of pairs of booted feet upon turf and crumbling wall. - The jig of fiddles, lyres, banjos, dulcimers, & drums. - Peddler yells & calls as the many merchants and stall-holders hawk their produce.
Smells - Bonfires. - Mead, Ale, Wine & all manner of distilled spirits. - Sweat, urine, vomit, faeces, dung, blood. - Roasting meats, stews, soups, pies, etc, etc.

Local Economy

The grand contest's festivities are rich with attendant trade, and the sheer enormity of the gathering offers a banquet of financial opportunity. A sizeable portion of coin is passed back and forth among the many gamblers and their ilk. Fortunes are said to have been made at Kærwynn, betting on everything to knock-outs to teeth declared. Merchants grand and small use the Feast as a time not only to sell, but to make alliances, forge partnerships, sign contracts, and host grand spectacles to show off their wealth. All is abuzz with capital - from the meagrest, dirt stained copper purchasing sweet hot-loaves, to the coin-purses stuffed with precious jewels thrown to the swivel-headed bookmakers.

Imports

Aside from the large number of onlookers, participants and their parties, the Feast of Kaerwynn brings all manner of trades-folk and wily entrepreneurs. Cooks, ale-makers, luck-charmers, souvenir-hawkers, armourers, blacksmiths, clerics, herbalists, and more, arrive with barrows teetering and tents stuffed to bursting with varied wares and services. For many come to gawp and cheer, to behold the chaos and rejoice in the keeping (and settling) of many a-score. Among the crowds, too, are those who attend to cherry-pick the best fighters, those of brawn and brain, to offer to them expedition and adventure of a far more dangerous kind.

Exports

Legends! Tales! Stories for the fireplace and the ale-house! Far and wide do such things go, to the horror of some, and the pride of many more! Champions, too, go forth into the world, and it is enough to bend the ear of many a tavern-goer should a Kærwynnian sup of an ale 'pon a nearby stool.

Lodgings & Shelter

The fields about Kaerwynn become something of a makeshift village during the Feast, and lodging may be found beneath any number of comfortable canvases here and there, if one is willing to part with a sizeable weight of coin. The Traveller would be wiser to bring a tent or bed-roll of their own, and to arrive early to secure a good pitch. In truth, not a great deal of sleep is to be had, as the festivities roll far either side of the Feast Day, with naught much to discern day from night beside moon and sun.

Hierarchy & Political Structure

At dusk upon the eve of each Feast, each "army" elects a Kærwynn "King" or "Queen"; tradition dictates this be a child, crowned with what remains of the charred, nettle-stuffed goat's bladder of the previous year's contest. Throughout the day, they are seated on a high platform so that they might view the entire field of play, and enjoy tribute and honours from all around. Most years, this King or Queen is the orphaned child of a parent lost the previous year; for though Kaerwynn be a sporting feast, it feeds 'pon broken bones and blood and bile and - often - lives. Second to this "royal" figurehead are the many Captains; veterans, all, of the Feast of Kaerwynn, and fierce in the discharge of their duties. Some are drunkards delighting in the occasion, some barbarians who come for glory, some shrewd tacticians keen to turn the screw upon their opponents, or to weaken them far beyond the fields of this noble Hill. A clutch of Elders adjudicate general infractions, dispensing any rulings as necessary. These are wizened old-hands of the Feast, though frequently taken more by plum-wine, gambling and cavorting than by their duties to the Field of Play. The Elders are also charged with official scoring, although none have managed a point in recent memory. Despite random (and frequent) acts of petty crime, there is no law in attendance; no constable, nor guard, nor sheriff wanders Kærwynn.

Culture

Kærwynn's origins being lost to time, it is known now only for its festivities. Many see opportunities to settle debts or quash grudges, others a chance to gain notoriety and renown, or to profit handsomely in coin. Despite arriving with all manner of edged and mêlée weapons, participants are forbidden from using such tools of war during the Feast. It is to be remembered that the use of weapons and magic is strictly prohibited upon the Field. Various articles are smuggled into play, however; knuckle-dusters and various steel and iron toe accoutrements being highly favoured, along with hempen hand-wraps dipped in honey, broken glass, and thistle-thorns. Bucklers (smuggled onto the Field as belt and boot buckles) are also popular choice, their use being two-fold; defensive and offensive. Many a bard's tale mentions the spirit of ingenuity alive at Kærwynn! One such tale is of a farmer being removed from the field for employing a stout and heavy cast iron frying pan pilfered from a canteen. Another story tells of a villager clothing a wild black-bear in the garb of a human, and setting it loose upon the field. Rare are they who enter play seeking to murder, and an unruly equilibrium tempers the chaos, ensuring the brutality teeters at the edge of death's grip. That mighty end being everywhere, however, it makes no exceptions for Kærwynn; injuries abound, much blood is spilled, and it is not unusual for a handful of people to lose their lives variously to unforeseen accidents and innocent incidents each year somewhere upon the Field. Indeed, this is where many even dream of meeting their end.
​

Residents of Note:

ancestries have not been allocated, allowing the GM to assign as appropriate.
​

Kesh Fallewarr - Village Captain

Long, silver hair pinned tidily up; Dressed in stained, rough grey flannel, with a large, billowing black neck-scarf tied about the collar of a coarse blouse. Their hands are greasy and darkly stained from polishing armour. They smoke a curved yellow clay-pipe, and speak calmly, flatly, employing the most foul language as though it were seasoning the air.
​

Toradim Hallowmeer - Village Captain

A shaved head that shows many scars, and a single eye-glass through which they squint up at the sky, as though forever expecting rain. They speak several languages fluently, and are keen to engage any in their native tongue. From time to time they might be spied smearing mud from the ground across their leather armour, and muttering to themselves; whether prayers or curses, who could say?
​

Puk Snursbok - Elder

Dressed in black buttoned, woollen shirt rolled to the elbows, brown woollen trousers, and oversized boots without laces. Their black hair, smartly slicked with short back and sides, glistens above their bright blue skin. Always rolling three small black pebbles about in their hand which, from time to time, are shaken and slammed down upon the nearest surface. Delighted or disappointed at the result, their purpose remains unclear. They seem to know much about a great many people, and they enjoy the whispering and hoarding of secrets.
​

Shesd Arweka - Elder

Dressed in old leathers and worn chain-mail, they sit upon a goat-skin stool, chewing on a long-stemmed root, and squinting out at all before them. They're known for liberally yelling foul curses and proclamations at attendants, and for throwing generous gifts of unusual coin to those who fight well or tell a good joke as they pass. Over the years, they have come to believe that folk generally keep their distance out of some great respect, but - in truth - t’is their utterly foul body odours, along with the increasingly wild rumours of their involvement in the brutal slaying of a party of several Feast-goers during the previous year’s contest.
​

Skrouch Affaladeer

An affable, and popular, wandering seller of baked potatoes. Skrouch moves with a heavy limp, and is almost impossibly broad, and tall. Their wheezy, guttural laugh is heard long before they're seen, their fire-blackened hands endlessly greeting and bidding fondness and farewells to their many customers. They are accompanied, as they go, by a small horde of children, each adept in juggling and tomfoolery.
​

Pishon Poewalder

A scruffy, rake-thin pick-pocket and ne'er-do-well on the look out for whatever slim opportunities fall before them. They seem never to sleep, eat, nor drink, and are alert to a great many things. They are accompanied by a blind squirrel, and the pair whisper back and forth all manner of sour curses and spit-speckled oaths.
​
​

Some Adventure Hook Ideas

This list is by no means exhaustive, and is intended simply to stir the pot of your own imagination. Use what follows as starting-points, or ignore them entirely in favour of your own Adventure Hooks! 1 - a detestable Mage has poisoned the waters of the nearby streams with a curse that will place all under their control; in essence : instant army, just add water. 2 - the spirits of the Dead of the ancient battle of Kærwynn, having had their fill of this yearly cacophony, and finding their memory thoroughly bespoiled, rise up to smite these ungodly invaders! 3 - One of the Residents of Note has been murdered, seemingly for several hours before being discovered. Their large hoard of coin is untouched. 4 - a Noble family’s heiheiress has snuck to Kærwynn, seeking adventure and glory! The Party have been hired to find, and return them home. 5 - one of the Party has familial ties to one of the Peasant Armies, and are called upon to fulfil their duties via participation. 6 - the Party have been hired to protect a vast prize of Coin being offered - for the very first time - to the victors of this year's Feast! Every corner of the field is abuzz with rumours of it, and the threat of thievery pervades.
​

Random Kærwynn Encounters

Roll 1d8 for a Kærwynnian Encounter! 1 - An explosion rings out, blasting a crater into the field of play, sending participants flying in all directions. 2 - A herd of rampaging creatures enters the field. 3 - All around, Villagers are doubled over, vomiting a vile and acrid liquid. 4 - A “potion” seller sets up shop selling flavoured waters, convincing people it’ll enhance their physical prowess during the Contest. 5 - A farmer hands out heavy, fist-sized bags of seed, encouraging folk to use them as weapons. Unbeknownst to all, the seeds are under an enchantment, and will sprout as soon as they hit the dirt. 6 - Several Villagers with sleeply-poison tipped blades secreted in the tip of their boot are causing a sharp and chaotic havoc in sections of the onlooking crowd. 7 - A mysterious shower consisting of marbles and ball bearings rains down from above; none seem sure of their origin or cause. 8 - A Dragon makes itself known upon the Field, demanding an end to this noisily unruly Festival once and for all.
​

Kærwynnian Foods Roll-Table

Roll 1d10 for a tasty Kærwynn Snack 1 - Kings/Queens Fingers - a spiced parsnip on a stick, surrounded by a cake like substance, and dipped into a strawberry jam. Created in homage to the Kærwynn King & Queen, and one of the Feast’s oldest known attendant traditions. 2 - Liver & Radishes - a coarse, pale stew seasoned with peppery shredded radish, served with stale bread and apple sauce. 3 - Stuffed Pine Mushrooms - large, easy to find mushrooms that have been stuffed with hard cheese that has been melted to be softer, along with some small roasted pine nuts. 4 - Grey Light Garnish - a salad-like meal consisting of a local grey moss that glows dimly with an ingredient rumoured to enhance one’s strength; widely believed but never proved. 5 - Chug-Knuckles - small hazel-type nuts; boiled, smashed, spiced, and served in small deep-fried balls. Wonderful projectiles once cooled and hardened, but also excellent with rice and chilli jam. 6 - Posst - a wooden skewer onto which various vegetables chunks have been strung, before the entire thing is dripped in pigeon fat and roasted over an open fire. (Albyon’s note : the name of this simple culinary pleasure derives from the noise the dripping bird fat makes upon the flames of an open campfire) 7 - Pickled Toad Spawn - something of an acquired taste, and mostly enjoyed by the inebriated, this unusual delicacy clears the sinuses and invigorates the lungs. 8 - Squab Pie - small, yet hearty, pies seen as something of a delicacy. The outside edge of the pastry is decorated with the marks of rooks' feet. 9 - Collops - slices of steamed meat served with boiled eggs, all wrapped up in a sweet, caraway seeded flatbread. 10 - Crab-Apple Toffees - a sweet and simple pleasure enjoyed by all ages that forever pins their memory to Kærwynn.
​

Trinket Roll-Table

Roll 1d20 for a Kærwynn Trinket! 1 - A child's rib wrapped in red-woollen thread. 2 - A rusted prick spur decorated with the letters R.H. 3 - A crimson velvet covered brigandine, partially set ablaze and abandoned. 4 - A short-sword’s pommel decorated with a family coat of arms in faded enamel. 5 - a pouch of teeth, and teeth fragments, collected by children post battle, often sold to spell slingers. 6 - Woollen finger puppets of various heroic competitors of the past. 7 - Fox-fur mittens, stuffed and padded at the knuckles. 8 - A wooden club studded with beaver teeth. 9 - A pocket-sized handbook detailing impact and injury points. 10 - A sackful of stones, each one painted to look like a chunk of bread. 11 - Arrow heads dipped in tar-like poisons. 12 - A silken neckerchief that seems to weigh nothing at all, yet is heavy with the scent of honeysuckle. 13 - A small sacking-cloth pouch full of Wheatear beaks. 14 - A live Hare, tied up in a sack filled with the mist of some unknown spell(s). 15 - A large Haddock, and as though freshly plucked from the sea only moments ago. 16 - A small sack of potatoes that seem to explode into variously coloured powders when thrown. 17 - A pair of dark metal eye-goggles, the lenses of which appear to reveal metal objects upon any person. 18 - A large wheel of cheese that rolls along behind its owner. 19 - A wooden bucket full of a thick, flammable paste. 20 - A pale silver arrow sporting a rather finely carved whistling-tip.
​

Albyon’s Final Notes for the GM ~

pull apart this location so fantastically strange, toss aside all that irks to better rearrange the unspooling of inspirations, the pearls of this trade, to stitch anew an Adventure, a Quest freshly made, t’wards a tale of your party's own Kærwynn!
​
For the best experience deploying our strange & fantastical locations in your game, we highly recommend utilising our free wondrous website, with its easy-to-use drop down menus, and simple navigational aids to steer you towards spectacular adventures!
You may also enjoy these previous Reddit posts from Albyon Absey's Geographical Almanac A-Z :
Aeodreyal (an inter-planar astral pirate cove)
Baron Arcadia's Circus Fortuna (a dizzying carnival of delights)
Caevieyeriva (a trading post hidden within an iceberg obscuring a giant octopus)
Drunstowr (a blackwater swamp home to a death cult and forgotten gods)
Elithyr (a fey-cursed doll's house in the window of a fire-ravaged toy shop)
Folly of Sorrows (a crumbling tower of lovelorn curses and vengeful cults)
Hirathaya (two villages, unknown to one another, separated by a ravine full of mycelial mists)
Imbruustafal (a shattered sky-scrapingtower of monsters and mayhem)
Jaittura (a trading post inside the hollowed eye-socket of a wandering titan)
Littlewind (a coastal village of blue sand, bioluminescent mosses and unusual customs)
Meadowmont (a snowy-mountainous vale hiding strange orchards, meadows, and a vast arcane bestiary)
Nesteropetes (a flying log piloted by talking squirrels)
Odonata (a giant dragonfly housing 4 clans and their strange trading post)
Rusthollow(an ancient, future battlefield littered with arcane technologies and strange magic)
Sternwater (a were-rat infested village of muck and mire)
Tuulinen (a wind battered plain of death and spirits sat above an abandoned salt-mine)
Uurastalt (a demonic wasteland of obsidian fire)
Vosgadh (a desert trading post locked within a deadly sandstorm)

Check out our full Durham events calendar.
If you'd like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event organizers to see if events change due to weather. Have a great weekend!

American Dance Festival

BODYTRAFFIC at Reynolds Industries Theater

• Widely acclaimed for its “peerless dancers” who “can do it all from hip-hop to ballet” (LA Dance Chronicle), the company is composed of artists who received their training at some of the finest schools throughout the world, and its smashing repertory includes the works of renowned contemporary choreographers.
• Thu, Jun 8 at 7:00 p.m.
• Sat, Jun 10 at 7:30 p.m.
• $27-43

2023 ADF Fête at Parizäde

• Dance the night away with BODYTRAFFIC and enjoy delicious food and drinks.
• Thu, Jun 8 at 9:00 p.m.
• $150

Rennie Harris Puremovement American Street Dance Theater at Page Auditorium

• The acclaimed work Nuttin’ But A Word by Rennie Harris pushes the boundaries of street dance vocabulary and forces its audience to view street dance through a different lens. Challenging the viewer’s perspective of street dance or Hip-hop dance and its culture, Nuttin’ But A Word takes you on a dramatic and abstract journey while twisting, matching, juxtaposing, and pulling vocabulary and music in ways unimaginable. Harris chooses to end this work in a traditional Hip-hop celebration, which Africanists may refer to as the Bantaba.
• Friday, Jun 9 at 7:30 p.m. ($30-45)
• Saturday, Jun 10 at 1:00 p.m. (Children’s Matinee - $12)

Multi-Day Event

Triangle Restaurant Week

• A week-long celebration of culinary excellence designed to incorporate the premier Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and surrounding area restaurants
• Participating restaurants offer special three-course menu options and fixed pricing
• No reservations, tickets, or passes are required
• Today - Jun 11
• $20-50

Venue Weekend Schedules

Events at DPAC

• Thu, Jun 8 at 7:30 p.m. - Indigo Girls with Full Band
• Fri, Jun 9 at 7:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. - Shane Gillis

Events at The Carolina Theatre

• Fri, Jun 8 at 8:00 p.m. - The Monti: Freak
• Sat, Jun 10 at 9:00 a.m., 12:00 p.m., 3:00 p.m., 6:00 p.m. - Dancing Through the Decades

Events at The Pinhook

• Fri, Jun 9 at 9:00 p.m. - Severed Fingers / Austin Lucas / DJ Melanoma
• Sat, Jun 10 at 8:00 p.m. - Burlesque: The Rainbow Connection – Boom Boom’s Big Gay B-day Review
• Sat, Jun 10 at 10:00 p.m. - No Visa X The Conjure
• Sun, Jun 11 at 8:00 p.m. - Kym Register + Meltdown Rodeo / Tami Hart / Dunums

Events at Motorco Music hall

• Thu, Jun 8 at 6:00 p.m. - Drag Trivia

Events at The Fruit

• Fri, Jun 9 from 2:00am - Sat, 10 2:00am - SUB: Terranean
• Fri, Jun 9 from 10:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. - HOUSE OF HER : An All Girls Pride Party
• Sat, Jun 10 from 9:00pm - 2:00 a.m. - Cosmic Gate

Live Music at Blue Note Grill

• Fri, Jun 9 at 6:00 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• Fri, Jun 9 at 9:15 p.m. - Crones of Anarchy
• Sat, Jun 10 at 7:30 p.m. - Addison's Playworld / Durham High Get-Together

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• Thursdays - Free Board Games
• Thu, Jun 8 at 7:00 p.m. - Trivia
• Fri, Jun 9 at 8:00 p.m. - 2nd Friday Blues Dance Night
• Sat, Jun 10 at 8:00 p.m. - An Offering to Bragi

Live Music at Sharp 9 Gallery

• Fri, Jun 9 at 8:00 p.m. - Angela Bingham w/Jim Ketch Quintet
• Sat, Jun 10 at 8:00 p.m. - Frankie Alexander Quartet

Events at Arcana

• Thu, Jun 8 - Pridechata and Tarot with Rene
• Fri, Jun 9 - Queer Joy: A Party and Fundraiser for Bodily Autonomy and Tarot with Virginia
• Sat, Jun 10 - Tarot with Heiltje
• Sun, Jun 11 - Jay Hammond & Quran Karriem and Tarot with Emily

Events at Rubies on Five Points

• Thu, Jun 8 at 8:30 p.m. - Step Friends with Gentle Junior, Megabitch
• Fri, Jun 9 at 10:00 p.m. - Renaissance Disko Presents: Body Tempo
• Sat, Jun 10 at 9:00 p.m. - Shallow Cuts: Mad Mix Beyond Thunderpop!

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• Thu, Jun 1
  • 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Food Truck: Tacos Mama Chava
  • 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Thursday Trivia with Nick
• Fri, Jun 2
  • 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Food Truck: Tacos Paradise
  • 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. - Open Mic Stand-up Comedy
• Sat, Jun 3
  • 12:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. - Food Truck: My Taste of Caribbean
  • 12:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. - Durty Dog Day
  • 4:00 p.m - 6:00 p.m. - Live Music: Peridot Sun
  • 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. - Bull Durham Screening Series
• Sun, Jun 4
  • 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. - MotoGP Watch Party
  • 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. - Hammered Trivia with Thor

Live Comedy at Mettlesome

• Thu, Jun 8 at 7:30 p.m. - The Uproar, a sketch comedy show
• Thu, Jun 8 at 9:00 p.m. - Standup Comedy Open Mic
• Fri, Jun 9 at 7:30 p.m. - The Uproar, a sketch comedy show
• Fri, Jun 9 at 9:00 p.m. - Well Seasoned
• Sat, Jun 10 at 6:00 p.m. - Improv 101 Graduation Showcase
• Sat, Jun 10 at 8:00 p.m. - The Racket - Pride Edition!
• Sat, Jun 10 at 9:00 p.m. - Sounds Gay, I'm In
• Sat, Jun 10 at 10:00 p.m. - The Alphabet Hour

Events at Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP

• Thu, Jun 8 from 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Beer Garden Jam Sessions
• Fr, Jun 9 from 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. - RTP Food Truck Fridays
• Sat, Jun 10 from 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. - Beer Garden Jam Sessions

Events at Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham

• Thu, Jun 8 from 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. - Live Music in the Taproom
• Jun 8-11 from 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Weekend Food Trucks

Thursday, Jun 8

Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi

• Each month Dashi's Thirsty Thursday drink specials revolve around a monthly theme – spirits, cocktails, special ingredients, brand, location, etc. – with new sips every Thursday. Learn more about upcoming themes on their website or visit them in person – there's always something new to try from their expansive bar!
• 5:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works

• Enjoy fresh vibes on the patio with DJ Deckades. Bring your own vinyl to share or just listen to what the DJ is spinning.
• 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham

• Show up and climb at TRC Durham, then head over to Hi-Wire for some brews. Don't worry if it's your first time or haven't bouldered before; everyone's welcome.
• Your first visit to the gym with the Meetup includes free admission and gear rental, and subsequent visits with the meetup are $15 and include harness rental (outside of meetups, day pass rates of $19 apply and do not include rentals).
• 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Trivia Night w/Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square

• Join Clouds Durham for Big Slow Tom's Trivia Night, every Thursday. Win some prizes, drink some beer, and show your smarts.
• Enjoy $4 select draft and $5 rotating bartender's choice all night.
• 7:30 p.m.
• Free admission

Friday, Jun 9

Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee

• Every Friday morning at 10 am, Counter Culture Coffee opens their Training Centers to coffee lovers who want to learn more about Counter Culture Coffee’s high-quality, sustainably sourced menu.
• 10:00 a.m.
• Free, but donations accepted

Saturday, Jun 10

Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park

• The Durham Farmers’ Market offers locally grown fruits and vegetables, meats, eggs, cut flowers, artisanal cheeses and breads, home-baked pies, honey, handmade chocolates, preserves, local wines, handmade soaps, fresh pasta, and artwork of all sorts!
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center

• The market strives to support new and growing farms and vendors in the greater Durham area, and they are also home to some of the most iconic Durham brands around.
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park

• A free, fun, and friendly weekly 5k community event. Walk, jog, run, volunteer, or spectate. It's up to you!
• 8:00 a.m.
• Free admission

Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works

• Free pint with purchase of craft box. Choose from a variety of craft packages available for all ages.
• 12:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Sunday, Jun 11

Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six

• Al Strong, the Grammy-nominated jazz trumpeter, composer and recording artist, will bring a rotating lineup of musicians to perform during Sunday brunch at Durham's Alley Twenty Six. Weather permitting the band will perform in the bar’s namesake alley.
• Brunch from 10:30 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.
• Music 12:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.

Food Truck Rodeo at Durham Central Park

• Most trucks accept credit cards but an ATM machine is on site as well. Free parking is available in nearby lots. Bring a blanket or a lawn chair so you can enjoy a relaxing and enjoyable Durham afternoon with friends and family.
• 12:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Public Tour at Duke Chapel

• Learn about the history, architecture, and life of Duke Chapel in this tour, which is free and open to the public. The tour begins at 12:15 p.m., or immediately following the conclusion of the Sunday morning service, and lasts approximately forty-five minutes.
• No reservation is required but if you plan to bring a large group please notify us in advance. Meet the docent on the front steps of the Chapel.
• Paid parking is available on a first come, first served basis in the Bryan Center Parking Lot at 125 Science Drive. ADA parking is available in the Bryan Center Surface Lot at the same address.
• 12:15 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.

Trivia at Navigator Beverage Co.

• Hosted by the Triangle’s Trivia team, Hammered Trivia, gather your team and post up to compete for prizes and enjoy an afternoon of great drinks, great friends, and great games.
• 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Running Art Exhibits

upstART Gallery: A Jim Lee Project at Pop Box Gallery

• upstART Gallery will host its first group show at Pop Box Gallery & The Art Chose Me’s residency in Old East Durham. The show features 27 artists who were selected through an open call review process. Artists were challenged to create work especially for this unique space, scaled 1:12 (one inch = one foot).
• Wed-Sat from 12:00 p.m - 6:00 p.m.
• Runs through Jul 1

Exhibit at 21c Museum Hotel

• Truth or Dare: A Reality Show
  • Runs through March 2024
• Open 24 hours
• Free admission

“Extra-Spectral” at the Durham Art Guild Truist Gallery

• This exhibit highlights several NC-based artists that, on the surface, use colors that are “extra” (which is where their commonality ends) to evoke their intent through a combination of this color with forms and imagery as well as the concepts embedded in color’s many identities. Artists Jane Cheek, Jerstin Crosby, Zach Storm, Tonya Solley Thornton and Leif Zikade all require color to play a primary role in their work and their relationship to an audience.
• Mon–Sat from 9:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. and Sun from 1:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.
• Runs through June 4
• Free admission

Donna Stubbs, Featured Artist at 5 Points Gallery

• 5 Points Gallery in downtown Durham introduces a new exhibit featuring the work of our member artist, Donna Stubbs. Donna uses an archaeological approach to painting, as she lovingly photographs her surroundings and unearths discarded items in thrift stores to create abstract mixed media works.
• Free admission

Chieko Murasugi & Renzo Ortega at Craven Allen Gallery

• An exhibition featuring both abstract and figurative works by two artists with international backgrounds. The SEQUENTIAL exhibition invites the observer on a visual journey, generating an organic relationship between the artworks and the gallery's visitors. Through the dynamics of color, form, ideas, and narratives, Chieko Murasugi and Renzo Ortega seek to generate a dialogue and the experience of art appreciation with the audience.
• Sat, May 20 at 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. - opening reception
• Runs through July 8

Spirit in the Land at the Nasher

• Spirit in the Land is a contemporary art exhibition that examines today’s urgent ecological concerns from a cultural perspective, demonstrating how intricately our identities and natural environments are intertwined. Through their artwork, 30 artists show us how rooted in the earth our most cherished cultural traditions are, how our relationship to land and water shapes us as individuals and communities
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Jul 9
• Free admission

Andy Warhol: You Look Good in Pictures at the Nasher

• Andy Warhol: You Look Good in Pictures explores the breadth of the artist’s relationship with photography through several distinct bodies of work including screenprints of celebrities, all of which were taken from photographs, a group of Polaroids and black and white snapshots illustrating his social circles, and an early silent film of the curator Henry Geldzahler from 1964.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Aug 27
• Free admission

Art of Peru at the Nasher

• This gallery features ceramics, textiles, metalwork and carvings produced by ancient cultures across what is known as present-day Peru.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Dec 2
• Free admission

A magnetic force pulled me against the wall as you leaned your body towards me; I can still smell your sweet cologne. Our eyes met and I’ve never had someone look at me the way you did. At that moment there was a feeling of being home but how could this feeling be real when your first name is all I knew?!
As time passed and text messages were exchanged, my heart only grew with a deep deep need to love you. You sent me messages that would normally only be found in a romance novel. Is that because your zodiac sign is Pisces? Aren’t they natural lovers? Anyway, you knew just what to say to keep me grounded in my place. My need for your love has now become a craving that I can’t seem to shake. Do I want to shake this? No… it’s become my own personal drug choice and when I don’t hear from you throughout the day I go through withdrawals… Help me!
483 miles. That’s the distance between us that keeps us from being able to embrace each other when we’d like. Yet it doesn’t hold us back from spending some time together. I’ve explained my fear of flying to you but the couple of times I’ve flown to see you there has been absolutely no fear. Almost as if you give me the strength to do the things that frightened me before. When I’m sitting in my seat on the plane, thousands of feet up in the air, all I can do is glance out the window and stare in awe at the clouds. They remind me of you. Is it because I feel like I’m flying when I’m with you? What is the saying? On cloud 9!? I believe so, it’s a feeling that I hope never goes away. It could be fatal!
First visit
I was so afraid. Not because of the flight but because I was about to travel to a state where nobody but you knew my name. The time was nearing for you to come up to my hotel room. Then that time passed and then another hour had passed. I was so afraid you weren’t going to show but at the same I was afraid I was being set up. “You’re a stupid woman”, I told myself. I stood outside on the balcony. Something about the fresh Washington air and the water front view made me feel an inner peace. It was calming and just what I needed at that moment. I was about to go back in when I seen you drive up and park across the street. My body froze and I just watched you as you walked towards the hotel. My nerves got the best of me. What should I do? Should I lay on the bed and pretend to be reading my book or just stand out here. Yeah… my body couldn’t move so I stood outside and continued to stare at the water.
I heard the door open so I finally got the strength to turn around and go back in. “I was going to surprise you out there”, you said as you went in for a hug. I melted, melted right in to your arms. The feeling of being home met up with me again. Until our lips met up for a kiss then a different feeling beat home. I was instantly ready for intimacy with you. We kissed as if we had been kissing for years, so synchronized. Til this day I constantly lick my lips in hopes that I could still get a taste of you!
So much for going out. We never made it outside. Our bodies craved each other, we both felt the sexual tension the moment our bodies touched. Our zodiac signs are sexually compatible though. Could that be why? It doesn’t matter, my body craved yours and I needed to give it what it needed. You were so loving, so passionate. I say this with heavy breathing as I remember how you gently loved on me as you stared deep in to my eyes. You’d lean in and synchronize our breathing. We harmonized so well together. Even though you were gentle I also looked forward to your freakier side… I’m a Gemini, I like rough sex.
To be continued…
All feedback welcome. Sometimes it’s the feedback you’re most afraid of that helps you grow.

Thought this could be useful. It's from the Cubs/Wrigley organization. If you bought resold tix, you may not have received this information.
Note the bag size limitation. My wife was actually affected by this last year, and she did not have a huge purse.
Hope everyone has a joyful, grateful, and kind time!

We look forward to seeing you at Wrigley Field for the Dead & Company show Friday, June 9, as part of the band's The Final Tour! The show is scheduled to begin at approximately 6:30 p.m. CT and ballpark gates will open around 5 p.m. CT. Please take a moment to review the following event guide to help you prepare for the upcoming show. Getting to Wrigley Field (1060 W. Addison St. Chicago, IL 60613) Please give yourself plenty of time to travel to and from Wrigley Field. We encourage the use of public transportation including Metra trains and Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) buses and trains. The CTA Red Line stops one block from Wrigley Field at the Addison station. Visit Cubs.com/Transportation for detailed information on transit options from across Chicago. Free remote parking will be offered at 3900 N. Rockwell St., located approximately 2.5 miles from the ballpark. This lot includes free shuttle service to and from Wrigley Field. Services begin approximately two hours prior to the start of the show and returning shuttles run approximately one hour after the end of the show. Free bicycle valet service also will be available in the alley just east of the main entrance for the CTA Red Line stop on Addison Street. Limited parking will be available for cashless purchase beginning at 3 p.m. CT on the day of the show in our Toyota Camry Lot (1126 W. Grace St. Chicago, IL 60613) and Irving Park Lot (1052 W. Irving Park Rd. Chicago, IL 60613) on a first-come, first-served basis. Payment for parking includes a credit card, debit card or mobile wallet. No cash will be accepted. Tailgating is not permitted. A designated group charter, coach bus, limousine and black car service drop-off and pick-up location will be located on Irving Park Road between Clark Street and Seminary Avenue. Rideshares will pick up on Addison Street between Halsted Street and Broadway. Prohibited items The following items are prohibited at Wrigley Field during the show: Cameras with large lenses, including those with detachable lenses Professional or non-mobile phone video cameras Weapons of any kind, including knives or sharp items Tactical gear Backpacks (including clear backpacks) Bags larger than 16 x 16 x 8 inches Luggage GoPro cameras, iPads, tablets or selfie sticks Umbrellas Frisbees, footballs or other "throwables" Glass, metal and aluminum bottles and containers (Only empty or reusable water bottles are permitted) Hard-sided coolers Please also note the Wrigley Field campus, including Gallagher Way, is smoke free. No smoking of any kind and no spitting is permitted in or around Wrigley Field. For a full list of permitted and prohibited items, visit Cubs.com/Info. Important information regarding Shakedown Street (1088 W. Waveland Ave. Chicago, IL 60613) Shakedown Street, located in the Toyota Highlander Lot, will open to the public at noon CT and open to vendors at 11 a.m. CT on the day of the show. Please be aware all vendors must have a City of Chicago peddler’s license in order to operate at Shakedown Street. Vehicles are not permitted in Shakedown Street. Parking will not be provided to vendors. Alcohol is not permitted in the lot and all items and bags are subject to screening. The City of Chicago will strictly patrol activities and enforce all Chicago laws regarding the purchasing of alcohol or food product from street vendors. General Admission Tickets Attendees with General Admission tickets should enter through the Budweiser Bleacher Gate, located at the corner of Waveland and Sheffield avenues, to scan their ticket and receive a wristband. Those with General Admission tickets must retain both their ticket and wristband throughout the evening to ensure field access. Please note fans with General Admission tickets may line up on the north side of Waveland Avenue from the corner of Waveland and Sheffield avenues toward the east for entry beginning at 10 a.m. CT on the day of the show. Wrigley Field is a Cashless Venue Wrigley Field is a cashless venue for all food and beverage and merchandise purchases. Payment can include a credit card, debit card or mobile wallet. Reverse ATMs are available in the ballpark to convert cash to a card that can be used for purchases at Wrigley Field and elsewhere. 

June 9 Update: Tiny Moving Parts 13-jun cancelled. 12-14 June reddit boycott. Bonus 24-jun-only listing will be hosted off-reddit soon.

9-Jun Fri

• Shallow Levée 淺堤 (TW indie pop-rock band), lion studios 115b commonwealth drive, $89
• Esplanade: The Nature of Strings - pipa & harp by gildon choo & charmaine teo - day 1, free
• Esplanade Contemporary Dance: Dance at Dusk - The Human Expression (T.H.E) Dance Company - Day 1, outdoor, free
• SSO: Singapore Symphony Orchestra Magic Hour at Raffles Hotel, raffles hotel lawn, free
• Jazz Loft; UNDERGROUND feat. Tim O'Dwyer & Vuk Krakovic (Gypsy-Klezmer-Balkan-Celtic-Jazz party), blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
• Maduro: BLUES + SOUL = JAZZ ft. Rick Smith, Richard Jackson & Joshua Wan, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
• Cool Cats: Havana Nights with Dairon - Day 2, jw mariott beach rd, jazz-ish bar $30
• Piano Fest: Tengku Irfan - Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
• Piano Fest: Jonathan Biss - Masterclass, $20
• Piano Talk: Pierre-Laurent Aimard, Victoria Concert Hall, $10
• Klassique Musik: CORINNA Somewhere In Time Meets Winter Sonata, esplanade, $50
• Dance: NUNO by Decandance - day 1, esplanade, $25-$33
• Sopranos Bistro - Jazz & Clar (70s to 90s music live), 18 carpenter st clarke quay
• Las Americas - Barranquilla Night (live music, food, drinks), 43 Tras Street
• Gastrobeats: Tabula (rock), marina bay open space, free
• Drag Event: Baby Queen Movie Screening - SG first drag movie & drag aftershow, projector golden mile, $39

 

• DJ, CULTURE & Fuego Night 🔥 - Flyness X MOOD (hiphop rnb pop), luxe club marina square, $36
• DJ, JST BCZ - the Drum n Bass Den with Natty Lou, JAC, Suffix Sans, Davros SWTLKR, project x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $22
• DJ, Strange Weather - Kelab Malam ft. Dekadenz (JKT) w/ Aditya Permana, Ridwan, Jonathan Kusuma, club iki at ikigai riverwalk (clarke quay), $27
• DJ, COLDPLAY TRIBUTE Flashback Friday by UnfilteredPresents, hard rock cafe orchard, $28
• DJ, 87 Club Street Bar - DJ Matty, 87 club street
• DJ, Sleeping Giants Bar Taiseng: Ciento x Giants, 601 macpherson road
• DJ, Throwback Night @ Edition Rooftop Bar - dj andrew chow, 182 clemenceau ave (dhoby), free reg
• DJ, The Gentle's Bar & Records Soft Opening - DJ Aloy (80s), 47a neil road
• DJ, Club Hell, Reincarnation in Hell ft mistress kiramoon, 113 telok ayer (mrt), gay club $35 soldout
• DJ, Offtrack: HOLDTight (FRA), beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
• DJ, Potato Head: Seng Wei (disco funk nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
• DJ, Cherry: Haili, Mindaniel (vn), ayekay, som j, 133 cecil st, ~$30
• DJ, Club Rich: From Taiwan Night - DJ Ashley Baby x MC KTwo, 114 middle road (bugis)
• DJ, MILK: NO Regrets Hardstyle - ft. 3than, rick savage, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3, $30
• DJ, Black Horse: 525 Friday ft Joeru with Highness, Gerlexis (hardstyle, oriental edm, open), ming arcade orchard L7, asian style club
• DJ, Drip: GAWLI Sessions ft Y3llo, Jerry Jay, Fakecake, Past 12, Wuu Kee (hiphop, baile funk, pop), 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, $32
• DJ, Yang Club: The Scene ft Sherpa, reiko, miggy t, mr boo, clarke quay
• DJ, Prism: POSH - Pop Night ft. DJ Limmy, Tajima, Cherish (10s edm), prism club marina square, $27
• DJ, CE LA VI: ANGELOS (GRE, afro house, deep), marina bay sands hotel tower 3, $38
• DJ, Zouk: MAMBO JAMBO Night with ALDRIN & Hong(synthpop, disco, 80s boogie), zouk clarke quay, ~$45
• DJ, Marquee: SHOWTEK (hardstyle, electrohouse), marina bay sands, ~$55

 

10-Jun Sat

• SLAM 30th Anniversary Concert, star theatre buona vista, $137
• 魏妙如 Ruth Kueo - Safe Haven: Homecoming concert, lion studios 115B Commonwealth Drive, $74
• Zheng Yi (郑怡) & Zhou Zhi Ping (周治平) - Everlasting Love Ballads 那一年， 那首歌 2, esplanade, $88
• Liyana Fizi (MY singer-songwriter folk bossa) ft Subsonic Eye's Wahidah, projector golden mile tower, $38
• Mathcore to Pop-punk Gig: Brainwashed Vol 3 - Circle Line Kid, Heaven Brought Me Hell, Glassmouth, Aggressive Raisin Cat, Flush, phil's studio parklane shopping ctr L5, $20 doors left
• A Capella: NUS Resonance: Vocal Obsession X: the night we met - Day 1, NUS UCC, preview $20
• Esplanade: Pipa & harp by gildon choo & charmaine teo - last, free
• Esplanade Dance: Dance at Dusk by T.H.E - Day 2, outdoor, free
• Jazz Loft: IRESON Latin Jazz Quartet, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
• Simply Jazz: Mario Serio, Louis Soliano Night, B1 Chijmes, jazz bar
• Frenchie Wine Bar: Jazz Music with Rick Smith & Richard Jackson, 81 tras st (tanjong pagar)
• Maduro: KENCHANA JAZZ with Rachma Quartet ft. Soukma, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey), $65 drink credits
• Cool Cats: Havana Nights with Dairon - Last, jw mariott beach rd, jazz-ish bar $30
• SCO: For Our Dreams: Wang Chenwei’s Composition Showcase (cond. Tsung Yeh), SCO concert hall, $40
• Chinese Orchestra: SCO - For Our Dreams: Wang Chenwei's Composition Showcase 逐梦: 王辰威作品专场音乐会, 7 shenton way, left $40
• Chinese Orchestra: Ding Yi Music Company - 绣艺•留香 Intimate Intricacies (cond. Quek Ling Kiong), SCCC 1 Straits Boulevard, $28
• Piano Fest: Jonathan Biss Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
• Piano Fest: Masterclass by Tengku Irfan, victoria concert hall, $20
• Ballet x Orchestra: Symphony of Dance - SNYO x Singapore Ballet, esplanade, $20
• Ballet: Cheng Youth Ballet Academy - Révérence 2023 - Day 1, NUS UCC, $50
• Talk: Our Voices: Dialogue on Intercultural Music (classical), National Library, free
• Blackbird: Johnny Come Lately (eagles tribute night + surath&rene), gillman barracks music bar
• Hero's Bar: Embers (rock, funk), 69 circular rd boat quay
• Timbre One-North: Strait Up Blues Open Jam, jtc launchpad one-north, $20 per jammer with drink
• Gastrobeats: A-List & Onelove, marina bay open space, free
• Drag: RIOT!, hard rock cafe orchard, $15
• Roller Skate: HiRoller Skate Rink's Disco Night!, Pasir Ris E!Hub

 

• DJ, CAWFEE MIX!! 4th Anniversary - J-Core, Anime-song x Bass Music ft 3R2 (TW), rainry, rinairi/VITICZ/yungbentai/Vanille Altzy/10SAI/WINDY, Wild Pearl Studio Micro-club 195 Pearl's Hill Terrace (chinatown), $28
• DJ, Goth Event: The Batcave Project: Batastrophe ft. Kabuki Kaiser, Katronyk, Grave, Jono (darkwave post-punk, industrial, ebm), Hexenskye Studios at York Hill Blk 11 (near furama riverfront), $25
• DJ, TRANCE4M International ft Paul Denton (IRE), rob z, club iki @ ikigai riverwalk clarke quay, $45
• DJ, FUEGO NIGHT BEACH FIESTA DJs Kfaith & Skilla (Reggaeton, Afrobeats, Hip Hop, pop), sand bar 53 siloso beach walk Sentosa, $30
• DJ & Live Music: Transcend Ego Dissolving Dance Party by Mantravine ft yetpet, tom shellsuit et al., kult kafe the grandstand 200 turf club road (sixth avenue), $20
• DJ Queer Brunch: SUNNY SIDE UP: thugshop x fomohomo pink pride edition - Your queer boozy brunch party , 66 boat quay, $55
• DJ, Pool Party: AQUA AFFAIR (kollywood x bollywood ft DJ Prasen, Melwin, Helsing), one farrer hotel, $30
• DJ, Element Hip-hop Edition 2 - ft. DJ Marie, Badgaldidi, suffix_sams, mr gray, misfits bar 18 ciruclar rd (boat quay), $21
• DJ, Afterlife - Pop Queens Crush (y2k era) ft. 3than, Ling, scruple & dahlia rose), prism club marina square, $35
• DJ, Melodic Beats house/techno rooftop party - ft VIOLESC, Kid Barna & PMIGALIC, Club Di Lusso 2 Hastings Rd (rocholittle india), $20
• DJ, MODAL 1st Anniversary - Tommy Four Seven (techno) & aya , haw par villa, $37
• DJ, Mukke: berlin meets ibiza in singapore - ft. toasty, ultra vibrance (AU), frau meyer, Koppa (DE) - tech house/baeleric?, projector x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $22
• DJ, Parliament Bar's Disco Dream nite, 18 teck lim road (outram)
• DJ, The Gentle's Bar & Records Soft Opening - DJ Itch (Asian Boogie, funk, city pop), 47a neil road
• DJ, JinJu Korean Bar's DJ Night Inaugural - DJ Ilhammi Tan (edm), clarke quay
• DJ, LAST SATURDAYS - the late saturday mystery show ft HBN, Jiang, Haili, dm this IG, $10
• DJ, GrooveTop Garage (UKG, UK Funky, hiphop) ft. Head of Vibes, Kenneth Francis & Joshua P, Neon Pigeon 36 Carpenter St clarke quay, $30
• DJ, Manifest - Dirty Techno Series ft DOBé (DE), MINDANIEL (VN), NINO BLINK + JAMIE REACT (UK), yang club clarke quay, $30
• DJ, Kpop Arcade #14 - SVT (SEVENTEEN) NIGHT ft. kafekcj , Majesty Chen Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, left $50 doors
• DJ, Vertigo 26: Unker 4 - 80s SynthPop / Hair Rock nite, at MINT Museum City Hall, listening bar
• DJ, Moonstone: Ya5th (hiphop rnb), 103 amoy st
• DJ, Potato Head: Shaun Nocturnals + Mutiah Ashnim, 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
• DJ, Drip: After The Noon (PH) - also top 40s, edm, hard, hiphop rnb, 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, $32
• DJ, Club Hell, F*!@ Me in Hell, 113 telok ayer (mrt), gay club $35 soldout
• DJ, HQ: Halal Sol, The Weatherman, TMDDJ (house, techno), hq club 66A boat quay, $30
• DJ, CE LA VI: Glam Bash, marina bay sands hotel
• DJ, Black Horse: Miggy T, Highness, Gerlexis (hardstyle, oriental edm, open), ming arcade orchard L7, asian style club
• DJ, MILK: Viva La Vida (reggaeton, latin hits, guaracha) ft. relibre, snickaz, dj naddz, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3, $30
• DJ, Capital Zouk: Poparazzi presents Caden & Ghetto feat. MC T-Fresh (pop), capital zouk clarke quay (22+ yo), ~$50
• DJ, Tuff: CHRISTIAN SMITH (tech house), tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, $35
• DJ, Luxe: Inquisitive & Farah Farz, luxe club marina square, $50
• DJ, Zouk: MAKJ (big room edm), zouk clarke quay, ~$45 with 2 drinks

 

11-Jun Sun

• William Youn Piano Recital - Echoes of Silence (schubert, ravel), SCO 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $25
• SPECTACLE! - Estelle Fly, Alfred Sun, BINI, BGYO, XOXO, YES MY LOVE - AOR Global showcase Best of S-Pop & P-Pop, esplanade, $35
• Christy Smith - Tribute to FESTAC'77 & Fela Kuti (jazzy afrobeat) - Mosiac Music Series, esplanade, $38
• Tong Yao 桐瑶 - Best of Teresa Teng 邓丽君 Tribute Concert, esplanade, $48
• Esplanade: Flamenco Meets Jazz Music - amanda lee x dancer Tania Goh, free
• Esplanade: Beautiful Sundays: Sparkswind Ensemble Relaxed Concert, free reg limited
• Esplanade Contemporary Dance: T.H.E Dance Company - Last, outdoor, free
• Piano Fest: Pierre-Laurent Aimard Recital, victoria concert hall, $20
• A Capella: NUS Resonance: Vocal Obsession X: the night we met - Day 1, NUS UCC, preview $20
• Blu Jaz: New Stream Brass Band (new orleans style), blu jaz at bali ln, $22 soldout
• Talk: SCCC's TV Festival 生命传承 - 华彩电视节 ft Bryan Wong, Chen Liping, Marcus Chin, Low Wee Liang, Cheong Yan Peng, Gao Mei Gui, Ayden Sng, 1 Straits Boulevard, free reg
• Standup Comedy: Aravind SA's We Need to Talk, Alliance Française Theatre (newton), $65
• Ballet: Cheng Youth Ballet Academy - Révérence 2023 - Last, NUS UCC, $50
• Dance: Authentic Flamenco - Paula Rodríguez (last), Kewalram Chanrai Arts Centre (Robertson Quay), $65
• Blackbird: Cat Mountain Kings - blues and rock, also jack and rai, raw earth , gillman barracks music bar
• DJ, Foxtail at The Back Room - ft DJ Mari, Haili, Tasha, 36 club street, cocktail bar free reg

 

12-Jun Mon

• Cui Xia 萃霞 aka Felinda Wong - 40 Years of Golden Hits, esplanade, ~$15
• Esplanade: After Tea Date with Ywenna Quinn (shanghai vocal jazz), free
• Esplanade Live Visual Art x Classical: Birds of Fantasy - Artist Jacky Mak x David Loke, Charmaine Teo, Dingchao Huang - Day 1, free
• Scary Psychedelic Night at The Fluxus House - Sakiko Performance Art x Cruise Chen, 23 teo hong road (outram/keong saik), also an exhibition till june 30, free

 

13-Jun Tue

• Esplanade Live Visual Art x Classical: Birds of Fantasy - Artist Jacky Mak x David Loke, Charmaine Teo, Dingchao Huang - Last, free
• SIMPLY JAZZ: Ireson (Latin Jazz sextet), chijmes b1 Jazz Bar
• The Purple Symphony Annual Concert 2023 Day 1, 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $20
• Improv Storytelling: What's Your Story SLAM: Summer, projector golden mile tower, $40

 

14-Jun Wed

• Lee Seung Gi, resorts world sentosa, $168
• Nobuyuki Tsujii Returns to Singapore (pianist), Esplanade, $48
• Chinese Theatre: Cao Yu's Sunrise by Jin Xing Theatre Shanghai & Mars Drama - Day 1, esplanade, $88
• Esplanade Theatre/Visual/Ambient: Transit 步: The Performance, free
• Cool Cats Jazz: The Blues: with Skunk Jive, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
• Candlelight: Best of Hans Zimmer by vocalise string quartet, the arts house (city hall), left $52
• Blackbird: Rockweller (hard rock), gillman barracks live music bar
• Standup comedy: Jinx Yeo at Mo's Grill & Bar West Coast, opposite haw par villa MRT, $22
• Punk History TouDialogue: POST PUNK with Shaiful Risan, 345 geyland rd Pavilion Square, $15-$25 with drink
• DJ, Prism: Ladies First with tarot Cards and Kandi Beads, prism pan pacific, femme free with timing - men $30
• DJ, Offtrack: Nightcap with DJ ITCH (asian boogie, funk, citypop), beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
• DJ, Potato Head: DJ Yenn (hiphop rnb nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro

 

15-Jun Thu

• The Purple Symphony Annual Concert 2023- Last, 7 shenton way sco conference hall, $20
• Esplanade Rap x Chinese Classical x Text?: Axel Brizzy, Calista Liaw, Jeremy Wong, Wovensound, Khalif Rawi - The Art of War 2.0 - Day 1, free
• Chinese Theatre: Sunrise - Day 2, esplanade, $88
• Cool Cats Jazz: Alina Ramirez plays Latin Jazz, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
• Candlelight: Vivaldi's Four Seasons - by Vocalise string quartet, the arts house city hall, $35
• DJ, CLUB RICH: DJ Dash, Lionnexus & a mystery DJ - EURO RETURN 2, 114 middle road (bugis)
• DJ, Offtrack: Daryl Knows, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar

 

16-Jun Fri

• SUGA of BTS Agust D - Day 1, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
• 伍佰 WU BAI AND CHINA BLUE ROCK STAR 2023 巡迴演唱会 - Day 1, resorts world sentosa, $78
• Metal/Core/HC Gig: That Incredble Gig in JUNE ft. TARIOT, Aggressive Raisin Cat, Destiny, Overthrown, Tailgates, Shy Guys, centre 42 waterloo st (bras basah), $16
• Esplanade: Cheats (PH), outdoor, free
• Esplanade: Shirly Temple (indie-rock, 60s psych pop), outdoor, free
• Esplanade Rap x Chinese Chamber Classical x Text?: Axel Brizzy, Calista Liaw, Jeremy Wong, Wovensound, Khalif Rawi - The Art of War 2.0 - Last, free
• Chamber: More Than Music Trio - Notes of Passion (dvorak, strauss, sibelius, tartini) - day 1, esplanade, $20-$30
• Jazz Loft: Sean Hong Wei Quartet (tenor sax lead). blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
• Cool Cats: Nikki Muller, also on 18 Jun, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $40
• Mandopop Chinese Opera: Who Says It First 戏谁先说 by Nam Hwa Opera - Day 1, 1 straits boulevard, preview, $28
• Chinese Theatre: Sunrise by Jin Xing Theatre Shanghai - Last, esplanade, $88
• Candlelight: A Tribute to ABBA - VOX string quartet, the arts house city hall, $35
• Drag Event: Baby Queen Movie Screening - SG drag movie & drag aftershow, projector golden mile, $39
• Gegarfest: Gerhana Skacinta (ska/rocksteady/reggae), Ryzall Noh, Caliph Buskers, singapore expo, free
• Gastrobeats: Shirlyn + The UnXpected (rock), marina bay open space, free

 

• DJ, NORTH EAST SOCIAL CLUB x Thugshop: Soul Mass Transit System (UK garage, bassline) ft mza, lemak, helios, tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, $37
• DJ, HOUSEWRK Presents: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA tribute, projector x picturehouse (the cathay), $22 (SHM10 code discount)
• DJ, CIEL X Therapy Room : Open Decks DJ ft. Jas, Daya, Vincent, Mari, BenBen, edition rooftop bar dhoby ghaut (82 clemenceau ave), $22
• DJ, Thugshop XXL Series feat. PIG&DAN (techno, progressive), MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $40
• DJ, Bailar - Agitar ft piratheeb, kelibre, dj snickaz, djsan, naddz (hiphop reggaeton latinhouse), hard rock cafe orchard, ~$20 not clear
• DJ, AfroDesi Night at Majesty Chen, Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, $25
• DJ, Phuture Zouk: TRANSFIX invites TRANCE4M by Last One Standing - DJ Tony Hang, Daniel Ang and Joshen, zouk clarke quay
• DJ, Blu Jaz: Back to the 90s with DJ Jag x Big, blu jaz at bali ln, $11
• DJ, Offtrack: Anwar, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
• DJ, Potato Head: The Beat Usagi + Nino Blink (disco/funk), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
• DJ, Yang Club: Kaylova, reiko & kidd royale ft mc hund, clarke quay
• DJ, HQ: GONNO (jp house, techno, ambient). headquarters club 66A boat quay, $37
• DJ, Marquee: Revolution - DJ Zippy's 'Future Rave' night, marina bay sands $20
• DJ, CE LA VI: FLOYD LAVINE (ZA afro house), kenneth f, marina bay sands hotel, $38

 

17-Jun Sat

• CLANG: 克朗! CHINESE Indie Music Fest - ft 麋先生 MIXER, 9m88, 旺福 WONFU, 守夜人 NIGHT KEEPERS, 海豚刑警 IRUKA PORISU, 甜约翰 Sweet John, 温室杂草 Easy Weeds, pasir panjang power stn, $120
• 伍佰 WU BAI AND CHINA BLUE ROCK STAR 2023 巡迴演唱会 - Last Day, resorts world sentosa, $78
• SUGA of BTS Agust D - Day 2, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
• Dewi Persik - Dangdut Mania ft Rina Nose and Nabila Maharani (INA), Rosalina Musa (SG), star theatre buona vista, $88
• Indie Rock Gig: TURN IT UP Vol II Rabak Records - 8forty5 EP Launch, KYYRA, Nosedive, feelslikeyou, freshpoutine, see link, $20 or doors
• Indie Rock Gig: Pink Cloud Summer - Bellied Star, MRTNS, FADER, Line Drive, Late Culture, see link, $25 soldout
• Esplanade: Door Plant (THA dream-pop/indie-surf band), outdoor, free
• Esplanade: Oh, Flamingo! (PH indie rock), outdoor, free
• Esplanade: ChambeElectronic: In The Living Room ft. Miao Kaiwen, Frances Lee, Chow Jun Yan, free
• Chamber: More Than Music Trio - Notes of Passion (dvorak, strauss, sibelius, tartini) - last, esplanade, $20-$30
• Carnatic Violin Ensemble: Indian Performing Arts Convention 2023: Strings of Gold ft Embar S. Kannan - with Apsaras Arts Dance Co., esplanade, $22 to $35
• SSO Organ: Tom Scott's The Composer and the Mouse + The Carnival of the Animals (family friendly), victoria concert hall, $20
• Jazz Loft: Amanda Lee Swingtet, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
• Mandopop Chinese Opera: Who Says It First 戏谁先说 by Nam Hwa Opera (SCCC Cultural Extravanganza)Last, 1 straits boulevard, $28
• Standup Comedy: Fakkah Fuzz (M18), esplanade, $55
• Kids Ballet: Live Your Story by JE Dance Academy, NUS UCC, $28
• Beatbox Battle: Escension Beatbox Battle by 555 Beatbox, 42 waterloo st (bras basah), $15
• Our Tampines Hub: Let's Rock (retro hits from 60s-70s), tampines, free reg
• Anime Event: MUSIC PROJECT & IDOL Only Event by iFest SG - Day 1, peninsula excelsior hotel ballroom, tics $30
• Soundbath: Mantravine's Soundbath, altered states at kallang riverside park
• Drag/Ballroom: Pink Kiki Ball 2.0 by vogue in progress, with dj bobby pingpongpanda, c2ac, MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $37 soldout, door available
• Drag Event: Yours Queerly's Queerly Affair 2023, 102 pasir panjang rd, $25
• Prohibited Projects: Distro Day Out - punk/subculture hangout , the substation alley 45 armenian street
• Gegarfest: Khai Bahar, jay jay, nana karia, singapore expo, free

 

• DJ, DJ Jovynn for Cross Border by Party Lab x Diamondcosg, prism club marina square, $30
• DJ, Pool Party: Party Social's Pool Party - Caribbean Vibes ft DaBishop OnDMix, DJ Cheri, Afro Junior (dancehall, reggaeton, afrobeats hiphop), grand park city hall, ~$20
• DJ, Bussy Temple: Father's Womb (Queer NB Positive Rave) - Dance Divine (DE), Sayang (UK-MY), Halalbutch, Soyf§g, Howrøng, 72-13 Mohamed Sultan Road (robertson quay), $27
• DJ, Stickies x What You Know Dance Battle - Block Party (hiphoppy), Stickies 11 Keng Cheow St (clarke quay), $25 doodm
• DJ, 4xF Uncharted - ft. Vaibs, pure love, Daya, Cosmo Carbon, Labraatz, Kayh (housey), stratos rooftop bar at national design centre (bugis), $27
• DJ, CULTURE Presents Back 2 Two Thousands, luxe club marina square, $32
• DJ, Dance Kartel - Gloo, The Kongsee 10 Gemmill Ln, $20
• DJ, Manifest - Jungle Beats Afrohouse + Tribal Tech - ft Cyril Labaude, Stephen Day, Joshua P, Mandala Club 31 Bukit Pasoh, $30
• DJ, EATMEPOPTART: Electric Feel - If You Leave ft. weelikeme, fantastic dinosaur (80s s disco, pop, funk, new wave), projector x picturehouse (the cathay dhoby), $20
• DJ, Yang Club: Asian Nation ft Noizefaktor (my), sherpa, reiko, mc hund, clarke quay
• DJ, Majesty Chen: Even Up Booze & Schmooze Mixer, Oxley Tower L20, 138 robinson rd, $49
• DJ, KPO: PET SHOP BOYS Tribute Night - admirably with DJ Kenneth Siew, beside orchard central (somerset)
• DJ, Offtrack: Archie (ID), bongomann & daryl knows, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
• DJ, Tuff: Thugshop x Art Beyond Presents - BERLIN SESSIONS with MATCHY (melodic techno & house), 138 robinson rd cbd, $37
• DJ, HQ: VOISKI (techno, leans ambient), headquarters club 66A boat quay, $37
• DJ, Capital Zouk: Total Recall with Caden & Rattle (90s - 00s), capital zouk clarke quay (22+), $75
• DJ, Zouk: Charged with Hong & Ghetto (bass night), zouk clarke quay, ~$45 with 2 drinks
• DJ, Marquee: Slushii (bass, dubstep/trap), marina bay sands,

 

18-Jun Sun

• SUGA of BTS Agust D - Last, indoor stadium, $168 soldout
• ITCHYWORMS (PH rock), timbre one-north, $50
• Jesslyn 陈佩贤 x YU JIA TSENG 曾昱嘉 - Heartfelt Concert 走心音乐会4, esplanade, $88
• Esplanade: monda(e) - instrumental rock/post, outdoor, free
• Esplanade: INTERMISSION - post-punk, outdoor, free
• Esplanade AI Theatre: AI x Improv Theatre, esplanade, free
• Carnatic Fusion Jazz/pop: Niranjan Pandian & NP Collective for IPAC - Samavaya - A Euphonic Co-existence, esplanade, $22-$35
• Classical Harp x Audio-Visual: The Four Seasons Reimagined By The Harp Quarterly x Avik Chari x Lynette Quek, national library drama center, $18-$28
• Candlelight: A Tribute to Joe Hisaishi - Candlelight Orchestra, victoria concert hall, left $84
• Live Reggae/Rocksteady/DJ: Sunday Live Reggae with Reggae Remedy ft Izaar, DJ Rumshot, Thirty Six Brewlab 36 Club Street (boat quay)
• Gegarfest: Insomniacks, Rahila, singapore expo

 

• Chinese Opera: One Opera Singapore 戏曲一家亲 - Cantonese, Hainan Qiong, Hubei Huangmei, Hokkkien, & Teochew Opera (SCCC Cultural Extravaganza), SCCC auditorium, $10 soldout
• Ballet: DuCon Singapore Gala ft Kimin Kim and May Nagahisa of Mariinsky Theatre, SOTA dhoby ghaut,$60
• Avant Dance: PheNoumenon by T.H.E Dance Company (last), esplanade, $28-$40
• Soundbath: Haw Par Chill-Lah: Hypno Sense & Sound Bathing, haw par villa, $60 (also on 17/sat)
• Anime Event: MUSIC PROJECT & IDOL Only Event by iFest SG - Last Day, peninsula excelsior hotel ballroom, tics $30
• DJ, KAMPONG BOOGIE x Potato Head: Straight outta Kampong (hip hoppy, mixed genres, rnb funky), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro tickets at door

 

19-Jun Mon

• Esplanade: Meet the East and West: Hindustani classical sitar and Western guitar - ft Guru Susanta Chowdhury & Isuru, free
• Avant Dance: Wild Flower by Jin Xing Dance Theatre Shanghai - Day 1, esplanade, $58
• Candlelight: A Tribute to Jay Chou - by Celeste Syn 冼佩瑾, chijmes city hall, $35

 

20-Jun Tue

• Esplanade: Meet the East and West: Hindustani classical sitar and Western guitar - ft Guru Susanta Chowdhury & Isuru, free
• Classical Art Song: The 11th Singapore Lieder Festival - Arnold Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire , esplanade, $15-$22
• Candlelight: A Tribute to Coldplay - pianist Sueli Tang, chijmes hall city hall, $48
• Avant Dance: Wild Flower by Jin Xing Dance Theatre Shanghai - Last, esplanade, $58

 

21-Jun Wed

• AI Theatre: AI x Improv Theatre, Esplanade, free
• Cool Cats Jazz: The Jazz Saxophone: with Sean Hong Wei, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
• Candlelight: Magical Movie Soundtracks - by pianist Gabriel Hoe, chijmes city hall, $35
• DJ, Potato Head: Prav of .wavy (hiphop rnb), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro

 

22-Jun Thu

• Kruelty (JP hardcore), Krusty (MY), Deceased & KillonSight, phil's studio at parklane shopping centre dhoby L5, $35 now
• Esplanade Multidisciplinary Poetry, music, theatre: Between Ground and Sky, exploring Shirley Geok-lin Lim & Tan Tiag Yi , free
• Jazz Loft: HORNS ARE UNIQUE (HAU) ft Benoit Trouwaert, Andreas Marinello, Rick Smith, blu jaz L3 at bali ln, $22
• Cool Cats Jazz: Beautiful Bossanova with Natasha Oong, jw mariott beach rd (esplanade), jazz-ish bar $30
• SIAO CHAR BORS COMEDY: The Big Gay Variety Show, projector golden mile tower, $28
• Voices of Singapore Men's Audition, capitol theatre
• BEERFEST ASIA, Open Carpark beside Kallang Leisure Park
• DJ, Offtrack: Nez Senja, beside hong lim park, music gastro bar
• DJ, Tipsy Penguin turns 5! Tipsy Slumber Party ft. DJ Mad Jester & Emo Nemo + Bolster Fight Championship, NTUC Income Building Tampines Central

 

Ongoing maybe not music

• Till 25 June Gastrobeats and iLight Singapore, free
• Exhibition: Naruto TV 20th Anniversary Exhibition, marina square, $25, everyday
• Theatre till 18 Jul: Wild Rice's Hotel, funan city hall, $70 for 2 connected shows, every other day
• Theatre till 18 jun: Pangdemonium's Doubt - A Parable, esplanade, ~$60, everyday
• Avant Dance 15-18 Jun: PheNoumenon by T.H.E Dance Company, esplanade, $28-$40
• Ballet Kid-friendly 15-18 jun: Singapore Ballet - Peter & Blue's Birthday Party, school of the arts dhoby ghaut, $35
• Theatre 15-18 Jun: Wild Rice's Singapore Youth Theatre - A Double Bill: Every Student is A Good Student/ In My Head, funan, ~$30 soldout
• Dance till 11 Jun: Authentic Flamenco - Paula Rodríguez, Kewalram Chanrai Arts Centre (Robertson Quay/Fort Canning), everyday, $65
• Indian Arts Workshops 18-24 jun: Indian Performing Arts Convention 2023 Workshops - FB, and IG
• Kid Friendly 9-25 jun: Esplanade: Discovering the Harp! with Laura Peh, only on fri-weekends, free
• Exhibit 13-18 jun: Esplanade: Transit 步: The Installation, free

I BOLDED the movies I've added this last week. Most of my movies get delivered on Friday or Saturday so I'm often adding more movies over the weekend if you want to check back.
 

• SONY - MOVIE BUFF PASS(ES) 1 Available $4 These Sony Movie Buff Passes are redeemable on Movies Anywhere (MA). You enter the code on MA and they show you the list of available movies (the current list of movies when I wrote this are below) and which movies you don't have or can use an upgrade on.
  • Starship Troopers
  • Julie & Julia
  • Not Another Teen Movie
  • Suburbans, The
  • Annie (1982)
  • Buck and the Preacher
  • To Sir, With Love
  • Armored
  • Little Man
  • Boogey Man 2

 
If there is someone that lives in the UK and uses Disney Movie Rewards there, let me know. I may have a code for you but it won't work for people that don't have an active DMR.co.uk account.
 

• Disney (No DMDMI points included) I also have a lot of these that haven't been split. If you need an unsplit or it makes the trade fair, ask and see if I have it.
  • Aladdin (Live Action) (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Aladdin (Live Action) (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Beauty & The Beast (2017 - Live) (HD)(MA) (Unsplit) $4
  • Beauty & The Beast (2017 - Live) (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Big Hero 6 (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Big Hero 6 (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Cinderella (2015 - Live) (HD)(MA- Unsplit) $4
  • Cinderella (2015 - Live) (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Finding Dory (HD)(MA - UnSplit) $4
  • Finding Dory (HD)(MA - Split) $3
  • Finding Dory (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Frozen (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $3
  • Frozen (HD)(GP - Split) $1
  • Frozen: Sing-Along Edition (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $3
  • Good Dinosaur, The (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Good Dinosaur, The (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Hocus Pocus (HD)(MA-Unsplit) $5
  • Hocus Pocus (HD)(GP - Split) $3
  • Inside Out (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Into the Woods (HD)(MA-Unsplit) $4
  • Into the Woods (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Jungle Book, The (Live)(Unused - It has never been removed from the packaging) $5
  • Maleficent (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Mary Poppins (50th Anniversary) (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Mary Poppins Returns (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Million Dollar Arm (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Million Dollar Arm (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Moana (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $5
  • Nutcracker and the Four Realms, The (4k) (MA - Unsplit) $5
  • Onward (HD)(MA-Unsplit) $4
  • Onward (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Oz The Great and Powerful (HD)(MA - UnSplit) $4
  • Oz The Great and Powerful (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Pete's Dragon (HD)(MA - Split) $3
  • Pinocchio (HD)(MA - UnSplit) $4
  • Pinocchio (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Planes (HD)(MA - Split) $3
  • Planes (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Planes: Fire & Rescue (HD)(MA - Split) $3
  • Robin Hood (HD)(MA - UnSplit) $5
  • Saving Mr. Banks (HD)(MA - UnSplit) $4
  • Saving Mr. Banks (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Tinker Bell: The Pirate Fairy (HD)(MA-Unsplit) $4
  • Tinker Bell: The Pirate Fairy (HD)(GP - Split) $2
  • Tinker Bell and the Never Beast (HD)(MA-Unsplit) $4
  • Tinker Bell and the Never Beast (HD)(GP - Split) $2

 

• Marvel (No DMDMI or Sony Points)
  • Amazing Spider-Man, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Avengers Endgame (HD) (GP - Split) $2
  • Black Panther (HD) (GP) (MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Black Panther (HD) (GP) (GP - Split) $2
  • Captain America: Civil War (HD)(MA) $4
  • Deadpool (HD) (MA) $2
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (HD)(Unused - It has never been removed from the packaging) $5
  • Logan (HD)(MA) $3
  • Thor (3): Ragnarok (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Venom (HD) (MA) $3
  • Venom (SD) (MA) $2
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past (HD)(MA) $4

 

• Star Wars
  • Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens (HD) (MA - Unsplit) $3
  • Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens (HD) (GP - Split) $1
  • Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi (HD) (GP - Split) $2
  • Star Wars: Rogue One (HD) (Unused - It has never been removed from the packaging) $5
  • Star Wars: Rogue One (HD) (GP - Split) $2
  • Star Wars: Solo (HD)(MA - Unsplit) $4
  • Star Wars: Solo (HD)(GP - Split) $2

 

• Movies
  • 21 Jump Street (2012) (SD)(MA) $2
  • 47 Ronin (HD)(MA) $4
  • A Dog's Purpose (HD)(MA) $3
  • Adventures of Tintin, The (SD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • After Earth (HD)(MA) $3
  • Alex Cross (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Alien: Covenant (HD)(MA) $3
  • Alpha (SD)(MA) $2
  • American Girl: Grace Stirs Up Success (HD)(MA) $3
  • American Reunion (Unrated - 2012)(HD)(MA) $3
  • Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Arrival (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Atomic Blonde (HD)(MA) $3
  • Bad Moms (HD)(MA) $3
  • Beirut (HD)(MA) $3
  • Big Wedding, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Black Nativity (Ext Musical Ed) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Book Club (2018) (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Boss Baby, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Broken City (HD)(MA) $3
  • Butler, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Cabin in the Woods, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Cabin in the Woods, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Captain Phillips (SD)(MA) $2
  • Choice, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Choice, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Cold Pursuit (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Courageous (HD)(MA) $3
  • Criminal (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Daddy's Home 2 (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Deepwater Horizon (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Death Wish (2018) (HD)(Vudu/MGM) - $3
  • Despicable Me 2 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Devil's Due (HD)(MA) $3
  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid (3): Dog Days (HD)(MA) $3
  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid (4): The Long Haul (HD)(MA) $3
  • Dirty Grandpa (SD) (Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Divergent (1) Series: (HD) (Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Divergent (2) Series: Insurgent (HD) (Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Divergent (2) Series: Insurgent (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Divergent (3) Series: Allegiant (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Django Unchained (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Don't Breathe (SD)(MA) $2
  • Dr. Seuss' The Lorax (HD)(MA) $3
  • Dracula Untold (HD)(MA) $3
  • Draft Day (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Dragged Across Concrete (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Dying of the Light (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Emoji Movie, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Empire State (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Ender's Game (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Ender's Game (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Epic (HD)(MA) $3
  • Escape Plan (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Expendables 2, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Expendables 3, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Fast5 - Fast Five (Ext) (SD)(MA) $1
  • Fast5 - Fast Five (Ext) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Fast6 - Fast and Furious 6 (Ext) (HD)(MA) $2
  • Fast8 - Fate of The Furious (Theatrical Version) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Fast8 - Fate of The Furious (Ext/UR-Director) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Fault in Our Stars, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Fifty Shades of Grey (Unrated) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Fifty Shades Darker (Unrated) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Flight (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Footloose (2011) (SD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Frankenstein, I (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Girls Trip (HD)(MA) $3
  • Gods of Egypt (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Grace Unplugged (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Grey, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Heaven is for Real (SD)(MA) $2
  • Heist (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Hell of High Water (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Here Comes the Boom (SD)(MA) $3
  • Hidden Figures (HD)(MA) $3
  • Holmes and Watson (HD)(MA) $3
  • Hotel Transylvania (SD)(MA) $2
  • Hope Springs (HD)(MA) $3
  • How To Train Your Dragon - 3 Movie Set (1 Code - All 3 Movies) (HD)(MA) $8 1-^{How To Train Your Dragon} 2-^{How To Train Your Dragon 2} 3-^{How To Train Your Dragon 3: The Hidden World}
  • How To Train Your Dragon 2 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Hunger Games, The (1): (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $0.50
  • Hunger Games, The (2): Catching Fire (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Hunger Games, The (3): Mocking Jay Part 1 (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Hunger Games, The (4): Mocking Jay Part 2 (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Insidious: The Last Key (SD)(MA) $3
  • Internship, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Jason Bourne (HD)(MA) $2
  • John Wick (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • John Wick (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Jurassic Park (HD)(MA) $3
  • Jurassic World (HD)(MA) $3
  • Kevin Hart Let Me Explain (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Kidnap (HD)(MA) $3
  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle (HD)(MA) $3
  • Kung Fu Panda 3 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Last Knights (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Last Stand, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Last Witch Hunter, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Last Vegas (SD)(MA) $2
  • Legend of Hercules, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Legend of Hercules, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Les Miserables (2012)(HD)(MA) $3
  • Life of Pi (HD)(MA) $3
  • Like a Boss (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Lone Survivor (HD)(MA) $3
  • Longest Ride, The (HD)(MA) $2
  • Looper (SD)(MA) $3
  • M:I-2(2) Mission Impossible (2000)(HD)(Vudu,iTunes/Paramount) $3
  • M:I-3(3) Mission Impossible (2006)(HD)(Vudu,iTunes/Paramount) $3
  • M:I-6(6) Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018)(HD)(Vudu,iTunes/Paramount) $3
  • Madea's Witness Protection (HD)(MA) $3
  • Magnificent Seven, The (2016) (SD)(Vudu - Redeem through Sony Website) $3
  • Marauders (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate)** $2
  • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (HD)(MA) $3
  • Mechanic: Resurrection (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • MIB3: Men in Black 3 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Minions (HD)(MA) $3
  • Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (HD)(MA) $3
  • Moms' Night Out (HD)(MA) $3
  • Monument's Men, The (HD)(MA) $2
  • Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (SD)(MA) $2
  • Mortdecai (HD)(Vudu,GP/Lionsgate) $3
  • Mother's Day (HD)(MA) $3
  • Mud (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Mud (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Mummy, The (2017)(HD)(MA) $3
  • Mummy, The: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (HD)(MA) $3
  • Nobody's Fool (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Norm of the North (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Norm of the North (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Now You See Me (HD)(Vudu,iTunes,GP/Lionsgate) $2
  • Now You See Me (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Oblivion (HD)(MA) $3
  • Olympus Has Fallen (SD)(MA) $2
  • Olympus Has Fallen (HD)(MA) $3
  • One Direction: This is Us (SD)(MA) $1
  • One Direction: This is Us /&/ One Direction: This is us (Extended Fan Edition) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Paranormal Activity 3 (Ext Ed) (SD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Parental Guidance (HD)(MA) $3
  • Passengers (SD)(MA) $3
  • Penguins of Madagascar (HD)(MA) $3
  • Perks of Being a Wallflower, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Perks of Being a Wallflower, The (?D - Might be HD but I don't know for sure. It is a small size slip and gives the option to redeem at multiple locations from the Lionsgate site while the slips I pulled from DVDs only give the Vudu option. I reduced the price to $2 but you take the risk of SD/HD redemption.) (Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Philomena (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Phoenix Forgotten (HD)(MA) $3
  • Pitch Perfect (HD)(MA) $3
  • Pitch Perfect 2 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Playing with Fire (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Possession, The (?D)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Predator, The (2018) (HD)(MA) $3
  • Prince, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Rango (SD)(Vudu/Paramount) $2
  • Red 2 (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (SD)(MA) $2
  • Ride Along 2 (HD)(MA) $3
  • Rise of the Guardians (HD)(MA) $3
  • Saban's Power Rangers (HD?)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Safe (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate)** $2
  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Scorpion King, The 3: Battle for Redemption (HD)(MA) $3
  • Secret Life of Pets, The (HD)(MA) $3
  • Secret Life of Walter Mitty (HD)(MA) $3
  • Sicario (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Sicario: Day of the Soldado (SD)(MA) $2
  • Silver Linings Playbook (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Single Moms Club, The (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • Skyfall - 007 (HD)(Vudu/MGM,Fox) $2
  • Snow White & the Huntsman (HD)(MA) $3
  • Son of God (HD)(MA) $3
  • Sparkle (HD)(MA) $3
  • SpongeBob Movie, The: Sponge out of Water (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness (SD)(Vudu/Paramount) $1
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $2
  • Star Trek: Beyond (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $2
  • Suburbicon (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Terminator: Dark Fate (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Transformers (3): Dark Side of the Moon (?)Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Transformers (4): Age of Extinction (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Transformers (5): The Last Knight (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Trolls (HD)(MA) $3
  • Twilight (5) Breaking Dawn Pt 2 (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $0.50
  • Twilight (5) Breaking Dawn Pt 2 (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $1
  • Unbroken (HD)(MA) $3
  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Vow, The (SD)(MA) $2
  • Warcraft (HD)(MA) $3
  • Warm Bodies (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • What Men Want (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $2
  • What to Expect When You're Expecting (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $2
  • White House Down (SD)(MA) $2
  • Why Him? (HD)(MA) $3
  • Witch, The (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $3
  • Woman in Black, The (SD)(MA) $2
  • Wonder Park (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3
  • Woodlawn (HD)(MA) $3
  • World War Z (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $2
  • xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (HD)(Vudu/Paramount) $3

 

• TV Series
  • Mad Men: The Final Season (SD)(Vudu) $4
  • Orange is the New Black: Season 1 (SD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $4
  • Orange is the New Black: Season 1 (HD)(Vudu/Lionsgate) $5

 

• iTunes - Not Verified so have a backup planned. Some of these movies are from back when you used to need both the digital disc and the code to get the movie. You no longer need the disc to redeem these but they will probably redeem in SD quality. There are also a few codes that are the split portion from a Paramount, Lionsgate or Universal slip. If you need an iTunes code because you don't use UV, a lot of the codes in the MA section above have the ability for direct redemption on iTunes. Let me know if that is something you need more information about.
  • Act of Valor (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Black Swan (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Descendants, The (2011) (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Despicable Me (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Family Guy: Something, Something, Something Dark Side (Darkside) (SD)(iTunes) $2
  • Hot Tub Time Machine (SD)(iTunes) $2
  • Hunger Games (2), The: Catching Fire (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Iron Man 2 (SD)(iTunes) $2
  • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (HD)(iTunes/Paramount - Split) $1
  • Jumper (SD)(iTunes) $2
  • Jurassic Park (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Jurassic World (HD)(iTunes/Universal Split) $2
  • Lion King, The (Diamond Edition 3D)(SD)(iTunes)(Was old Disney File Digital Copy. Now it says you need to insert the disc just like how XML worked.) $2
  • Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • **Mama Mia! The Movie (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Mr. Popper's Penguins (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Nightmare Before Christmas, The (SD)(iTunes)(Was old Disney File Digital Copy. Now it says you need to insert the disc just like how XML worked.) $2
  • One for the Money (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Rio (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Sabotage (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Skyfall - 007 (HD)(iTunes) $1
  • Split (HD)(iTunes/Universal Split) $2
  • Star Trek (New cast) (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Taken (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Taken 2 (SD)(iTunes) $1
  • Thor (1) (SD)(iTunes) $2
  • Up (SD)(iTunes)(Was old Disney File Digital Copy. Now it says you need to insert the disc just like how XML worked.) $2
  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine (iTunes) $2