David icke movies and tv shows


2022.04.06 08:45 shalomstopics MoviesAndTvShows_

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2012.07.14 10:01 appydays Moviesinthemaking: A behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of film

A behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of movies

2023.04.02 07:07 purple_carnations TV Shows and Movies


2023.06.09 05:54 Agile-Foundation-290 What's the most meaningful dream you've ever had, and why did it stick with you?

What was your favorite childhood TV show or movie?
submitted by Agile-Foundation-290 to u/Agile-Foundation-290 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:54 Ok_Cut7607 Reassurnes and cloud of doubts

I don't have this feeling that you know things. She used to be years ago, but now I'm not here. When someone with ocd is told to "just move on instead of dwelling on things", I try to move on, but I feel like I'm focused on high intensity thoughts that feel impossible to let go of. I seem to live the thoughts. And a kind of check if I "continued" or if I'm stuck in thoughts. Then I try to tell myself "Okay, just let go and don't try to concentrate on the thoughts" and sometimes it's kind of relaxing (I'm not sure it's relaxing) and I'm aware for a hundredth of a second how my consciousness is changing and how I'm getting a new feeling, but in the background I'm kind of afraid that the focus will return to the previous state. Sometimes I try to hold the situation where you are not focused in thoughts and I feel that I am disconnected and not focused on what is in front of me (for example while watching a TV show). Is it possible to reconnect to myself? get out of it all? Start feeling that my understanding of what is right and wrong is enough for me? Here I am currently aware that the point is to be satisfied with your knowledge and not look for too much certainty. Just "do you know it's morning?" This information is enough for you. And when I really direct myself to settle for it, I feel satisfied and calm. The point is how to make it permanent. Because my automaton is not to be satisfied. You need to be aware of your every thought of dissatisfaction, define it in your head "what makes me feel dissatisfied right now" and try to understand the situation in such a way that "my understanding is enough for me". Or even initiate an intention that my understanding is enough for me, for example to sit down and think that it is morning and my understanding is enough for me. It feels a relief. But I'm currently in doubt with whether it's a correct practice or a "ritual" to feel better. I don't know if I was understood either. what do you think?
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2023.06.09 05:51 Johnjohn155 You Chooms need to watch the new ark

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2023.06.09 05:50 Final_Middle_8626 If you could be any character from a book for a day, who would it be?

If you could switch lives with any character from a TV show, who would it be and why?
submitted by Final_Middle_8626 to u/Final_Middle_8626 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:49 reddit_userr1290 Quit haram and i’m having withdrawal symptoms

I cut out music, romance tv shows and romance novels from my life and these used to be the things i was obsessed with and had loved with all my heart. I understand why they’re haram so i’m not really complaining. The thing is, it’s been extremely difficult to get by some days. It was an addiction that i put a stop to and now i’m feeling withdrawal symptoms (quite literally). I want to delve back in but i’m holding back just for Allah. Does it get easier with time or is it always going to be this hard? Considering how big of a part these things played in my life and how much they impacted me. There were days where i would reflect on the lessons from the latest dramas/books i had watched/read and my friend and i would talk about the characters for hours on end. now since i stopped doing what we used to talk about, we’ve been chatting less. and that is making me feel empty. I’m hoping Allah makes it easy for me and all the other struggling muslims out there. I would love it if anyone of you guys with a similar experience could share their journey!
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2023.06.09 05:48 InsideDark_2260 27 [F4M] Are you bored there in the four corners of your room? 😅 hit me up cause im in the mood to know someone new too 😊 (US based, 25+)

I'm on the hunt for a single guy who's just as bored as I am and is up for some good old-fashioned conversation. Let's banish the boredom together and get to know each other in the process!🤗
I'm a laid-back and easygoing gal who enjoys engaging in meaningful discussions about a wide range of topics. Whether it's sharing funny stories, discussing our favorite movies or TV shows, or unraveling the mysteries of the universe, I'm all ears and ready to dive into intriguing conversations 👀
If you're a single guy who's looking to connect with someone genuine, fun, and eager to get to know you, then let's give it a shot! Drop your age and name on my chat box now!💌

submitted by InsideDark_2260 to Singles [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:46 recentlyquitsmoking2 Hitchens on Pat Robertson

“As the year 2000 approaches, it is a safe bet that we will be treated to more superstition and barbarism of the [Pat] Robertson sort, and that other unscrupulous demagogues will try to canalize the fears and doubts of those who have been let down by the education system.” [“Minority Report,” Nation, 10/04/86]
“Whether you are a creationist like Pat Robertson, or a Catholic like Pat Buchanan, or a materialist believer in ‘Natural Law’ like [Harry] Jaffa and others, you can’t avoid the salient fact that the Creator, or the Divinity, or Nature, or Evolution, has evidently mandated that there be a certain quite large number of homosexuals.” [“Bloom’s Way,” Nation, 5/15/00]
"The disappointment was, and to me remains, acute. Within hours, the “reverends” Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell had announced that the immolation of their fellow creatures was a divine judgment on a secular society that tolerated homosexuality and abortion. At the solemn memorial service for the victims, held in the beautiful National Cathedral in Washington, an address was permitted from Billy Graham, a man whose record of opportunism and anti-Semitism is in itself a minor national disgrace. His absurd sermon made the claim that all the dead were now in paradise and would not return to us even if they could. I say absurd because it is impossible even in the most lenient terms to believe that a good number of sinful citizens had not been murdered by al-Qaeda that day. And there is no reason to believe that Billy Graham knew the current whereabouts of their souls, let alone their posthumous desires. But there was also something sinister in hearing detailed claims to knowledge of paradise, of the sort that bin Laden himself was making on behalf of the assassins." - God Is Not Great
"The suspicion that a calamity might also be a punishment is further useful in that it allows an infinity of speculation. After New Orleans, which suffered from a lethal combination of being built below sea level and neglected by the Bush administration, I learned from a senior rabbi in Israel that it was revenge for the evacuation of Jewish settlers from the Gaza Strip, and from the mayor of New Orleans (who had not performed his own job with exceptional prowess) that it was god’s verdict on the invasion of Iraq. You can nominate your own favorite sin here, as did the “reverends” Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell after the immolation of the World Trade Center. In that instance, the proximate cause was to be sought and found in America’s surrender to homosexuality and abortion. (Some ancient Egyptians believed that sodomy was the cause of earthquakes: I expect this interpretation to revive with especial force when the San Andreas Fault next gives a shudder under the Gomorrah of San Francisco.) When the debris had eventually settled on Ground Zero, it was found that two pieces of mangled girder still stood in the shape of a cross, and much wondering comment resulted. Since all architecture has always involved crossbeams, it would be surprising only if such a feature did not emerge. I admit that I would have been impressed if the wreckage had formed itself into a Star of David or a star and crescent, but there is no record of this ever having occurred anywhere, even in places where local people might be impressed by it. And remember, miracles are supposed to occur at the behest of a being who is omnipotent as well as omniscient and omnipresent. One might hope for more magnificent performances than ever seem to occur." - God Is Not Great
"The same can be said of the King epoch. The southern churches returned to their old ways after Reconstruction, and blessed the new institutions of segregation and discrimination. It was not until after the Second World War and the spread of decolonization and human rights that the cry for emancipation was raised again. In response, it was again very forcefully asserted (on American soil, in the second half of the twentieth century) that the discrepant descendants of Noah were not intended by god to be mixed. This barbaric stupidity had real-world consequences. The late Senator Eugene McCarthy told me that he had once urged Senator Pat Robertson—father of the present television prophet—to support some mild civil rights legislation. “I’d sure like to help the colored,” came the response, “but the Bible says I can’t.” The entire self-definition of “the South” was that it was white, and Christian. This is exactly what gave Dr. King his moral leverage, because he could outpreach the rednecks. But the heavy burden would never have been laid upon him if religiosity had not been so deeply entrenched to begin with. As Taylor Branch shows, many of King’s inner circle and entourage were secular Communists and socialists who had been manuring the ground for a civil rights movement for several decades and helping train brave volunteers like Mrs. Rosa Parks for a careful strategy of mass civil disobedience, and these “atheistic” associations were to be used against King all the time, especially from the pulpit. Indeed, one result of his campaign was to generate the “backlash” of white right-wing Christianity which is still such a potent force below the Mason-Dixon line." - God Is Not Great
"The Leader of the Free World was frequently photographed in the company of “end-times” Protestant fundamentalists and biblical literalists like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson: tethered gas-balloons of greed and cynicism once written up by Martin Amis as “frauds of Chaucerian proportions.” The president found time to burble with such characters about the fulfillment of ancient “prophecy” and the coming Apocalypse. He also speculated drivellingly that the jury might yet return an open verdict on the theory of evolution. He was married to a woman who employed a White House astrologer. He said that the Abraham Lincoln Battalion had fought on “the wrong side” in the civil war in Spain, which logically meant that there had been a “right” side and that it was the Francoist one. (When the last attempt at a fascist coup was made in Spain, in the early 1980s, the Reagan administration was asked for comment, again in the person of the Strangelovian freak Alexander Haig, who flabbergastingly said that the armed attack on Spain’s elected parliament was a purely internal Spanish affair.) With Haig, Reagan also gave permission to Menachem Begin and Ariel Sharon to invade Lebanon in 1982, and to take their incursion as far as Beirut to do the dirty work of the Catholic Phalange. In order to gratify Chancellor Helmut Kohl of West Germany, Reagan agreed to visit an SS cemetery in Bitburg (Ich bin ein Bitburger) and, as if that in itself was not bad enough, to declare that those interred there were not just “victims,” but victims “just as much” as the civilians they had slaughtered. He made stupid, alarming on-air jokes about pre-emptively bombing the USSR. He pardoned the convicted FBI agents Felt and Miller, who had been prosecuted and fired for illegal break-ins and wiretaps directed at the anti-war movement. In a really sweet irony, one of these men (Mark Felt), as I was to learn, had been the “Deep Throat” whose torpedoes had sent the previous elected Republican administration to the floor of the sea.*" - Hitch-22
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2023.06.09 05:46 Specialist-Night-764 I need help understanding. Betrayed by two men

So I will try to make this as short as possible. I was with someone for 18 years who put porn before me most of our relationship. I was 16 when we started dating and we moved in together at 18. There’s a lot more I want to add but I will be here forever and I’m sure no one wants to read it all. From the moment I moved in he neglected me sexually for the next 16 years. We have children together (two pregnancies). Our marriage ended early 2020 because I found disgusting illegal things on his computer if you catch my drift. Yes authorities were notified. All of this over 18 years truly traumatized me on top of the fact that I was a foster child when I met him and he was 27 but lied to me and told me he was 23. I had spent my childhood being abused and in and out of group homes and foster homes. So my entire life up until 2020 has been traumatic. I felt free when I found everything I found. I hate that that’s what ended it but my marriage was over long before it really ended. So fast forward. I met an amazing man later on that year. We have been together almost 3 years come September. After some time I explained to him what I had been through and he told me that wasn’t him and I never had to worry about that because he thinks porn is repulsive. That ended up being a lie. We had/have a great sex life. I didn’t bring any of my past into our relationship. It started with a clean slate. We shared and watched our favorite movies etc that included nudity and so on. I’d say it was about a year and a half in when I found out that he watches porn. I was devastated. I brought up how he told me in the beginning he didn’t watch it and thought it was repulsive. He tells me no guy is gonna admit that to someone he’s dating. But it’s like I didn’t fucking ask. I confided in you and you divulged this information. I can’t find anything about being betrayed with porn addiction for the 2nd time but I am still completely affected. After some time he seemed to understand where I was coming from and he let me put parental controls etc on his phone…I really thought he was doing good. He told me he hasn’t looked at nothing in a year. I asked him over and over if he slipped bc it just didn’t make sense it was so easy for him to quit. He assured me that he hadn’t relapsed at all. I got access to an old email (he used prior to the parental controls) and found out that it had continued for 3 more months past when he promised me it would never happen again. One of those times is really devastating to me bc I put things together. I was at work and I told him my period was over and to be ready for me when I get home in about 45 mins. He said okay and said he was gonna lay back down. I came home and we messed around and he couldn’t orgasm. A little later I found a wet sock and he swore to god he didn’t do anything and I was crazy etc. well this discovery proved that when he told me he was laying back down he infact did not and he watched porn and came to it right before I got home when I told him to be ready for me. Idc if it was a year ago. I only found out a few months ago and I can’t let it go. Not only that. He’s a truck driver and promised me he’s never done that at work but that was a lie. He will tell me he will never look at porn again and say he doesn’t want to hurt me and he loves me but like didn’t you love me before? Like I told you what I been through and you didn’t care and put me through it all over again and now I am retraumatized and I am completely messed up over it. I worry he has a work phone or stops somewhere and buys a magazine. Everything triggers me. I can’t watch a movie with him that shows nudity or I am triggered. Today he had a free trial at a new gym and he stopped while we were out doing errands and I waited in the car and I saw 20 half naked women go in and out and it was so triggering. He got mad and freaked out telling me to get over it already and that it’s been a year and he hasn’t done anything. But I don’t know how to believe him. If it was so easy to quit like he makes it seem why wasn’t I enough for him to never betray me like that knowing what I have been through? How do I believe him when he tells me I am beautiful and he only had eyes for me?! When he never needed to look at porn. After 18 years of a dead bedroom I have a very high sex drive…I never told him no. Like to the point he would tell me I put sex on a pedestal and sex is everything to me and would tell me my drive is higher than his yet I find out that it didn’t matter how much he had sex at his disposal he would still go look at porn. I don’t know why I’m typing all of this or what I hope to accomplish but I hate that I am in the same mental state that I spent years fighting to get out of and years to heal from just for someone else to come along and drag me through it too. My entire life had been nothing but trauma and I spend so much time wishing I wasn’t here anymore. I can’t make him understand that I can’t just get over it it. He has nerve to tell me he hates being accused etc and he can’t deal with it BUT HE DID THIS..HE PUT ME BACK IN THIS MIND STATE. How could he love me and know what I had been through and put me through it all over again???
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2023.06.09 05:45 righttt 32/F - Looking for someone who likes to share random/crazy/dumb memes with 😬

Like the title mentions, I’m in my early 30s who’s just looking to chat with someone as friends. Ideally, someone who is in the West coast due to time zones (met cool people once before here but our schedules were too different). Gender doesn’t matter, just looking for someone who doesn’t mind going into conversations about stupid random shit. 😬 Also not looking for anything romantic.
A little list about myself:
Ultimately what I’m trying to find is someone who’s willing to hear me out and talk to me while I do the same for them. Like finding someone who shares the same humor as I do would be great so that we could share dumb/funny tiktoks and memes we come across. Ideally messaging through Snapchat (or Reddit chat) where we could chat and if things go well, eventually through iMessage (where we could also play games lol). Don’t be afraid to hit me up if I sound interesting to you! 😀
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2023.06.09 05:44 chanma50 'Black Adam' was of course a flop, but in hindsight, its domestic opening was actually kinda surprising considering the state of its franchise and how the DCEU has performed since.

Black Adam cost anywhere between $190M to $260M, and (despite the protestations of Dwayne Johnson) lost a ton of money off a gross of $168M DOM/$393M WW.
Yet, it still opened to $67M in North America. That's by no means a particularly good number. But, compared with other recent DCEU films, it's kind of surprising that it did as well as it did.
The film stars a largely unknown character, supported by a team of also unknown characters. The strength of the DCEU brand was already in the toilet, so unlike a new MCU franchise, there's nothing to support it. Basically The Rock was its one and only selling point.
That was reflected in presales, which were heading to sub-$50M 10 days out. Yet, The Rock was still able to drag it to a $67M opening, appealing to general audiences that just showed up to see a Dwayne Johnson action movie, rather than a DC movie necessarily.
The next DCEU film, Shazam! Fury of the Gods, turned out to be one of the biggest superhero duds in recent memory, opening to just $30M (or 45% of Black Adam). That film's total domestic gross fell almost $10M short of Black Adam's opening alone. While that film didn't have as big a star as The Rock, it's still a sequel to a decently successful film, and even if you argue that it was always likely to make less, it shouldn't be making that much less.
Now, The Flash is pacing to open only marginally higher than Black Adam. The film came onto tracking at $70-75M (ironically same as Black Adam originally did). More recent projections from BoxOfficeTheory have coalesced around the $65-85M range, while BoxOfficePro analyst Shawn Robbins is targeting $75-80M. That's despite a much better known main character, as well as the presence of recognizable characters like Supergirl and Batman (multiple, in fact) in major roles. Reviews are also better (74% vs 38% on RT), and it'll presumably get better word of mouth (not a high bar). But the fact that at the moment, it's not leaving Black Adam's opening in the dust is concerning, to say the least.
Amusingly enough, Black Adam also compares somewhat favourbly to another The Rock-adjacent film, Fast X, which opened all of $13K higher.
Black Adam was never going to be a success at that insane budget. It could have broken even at a $150M budget, and been decently profitable (see: Shazam!) at a $100M budget. But in terms of raw gross, it could have performed a lot worse.
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2023.06.09 05:43 Spectral_Coen0 Twisted Metal TV series photos

Twisted Metal TV series photos
Here are the TV series photos for the upcoming live action adaption of Sony Playstations Twisted Metal coming to use to Peacock in the Fall of 2023.
A post apocalyptic narrative where a smartass milk man with Amnesia named John Doe is tasked with driving a mysterious package to a benefactor at the end of the Earth while being pursued by psychos in weaponized vehicles as he tries to reclaim his old memories that he had lost due to the past seasons
Agent Stone[Thomas Hayden Church] will be playing the human police officer villain of the show who takes the law into his own hands by any type of means. He's Judge, jury and executioner and the major threat to John Does journey throughout this.
Neve Campbell plays Raven the hearse driving goth character from the franchise.
Stephanie Beatriz plays Quiet a mysterious and a car thief who joins Doe for her own reasons while being both an ally and an antagonist to his journey
Samoa Joe portays the physical form of Needles Kane the serial killer Clown mascot of the series as Will Arnett does the dubbed voice performance to it
It's by the Deadpool team, a "bonkers" post apocalyptic comedic action packed narrative.
Calypso and the Twisted Metal Tournament are not involved with the series at all in the 10 episode run.
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2023.06.09 05:42 najib1312 Sarathkumar Appreciation Post

Saw Rudhran last night, overall it's a typical below average commercial movie. Raghava Lawrence tries so hard to immitate Rajinikanth and it's so cringe!! Can't accept him as a mass action hero.
The real show stealer is definitely Sarathkumar. Man is almost 70 years old but doesn't look a day older than 40! His getup & acting esp in the flashback portions were lit!
I feel Tamil Cinema didn't utilize this man to his full potential. If he didn't jump into politics and focused on his career, he could have become close to Rajinikanth stardom in 90s.
He was my favorite hero in the 90s and part of me is still excited to watch his new movies, although they've all been major disappointments. I think the last movie of him I enjoyed was Aai or Ayyam Looking forward to catch his new movie Por Tozhil, hearing good reviews on this.
submitted by najib1312 to kollywood [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:39 thestenz A Friend Told Me About The Show And I Binged Season 1

I needed something to watch and I asked around and my buddy told me Yellowjackets. Season 1 had already finished so I took his advice and was going to watch at least one episode. I ended up binging it in 2 days. I love well written, well acted shows, and how could I not being familiar with most of the adult cast. I had to introduce my GF to it. She can be squeamish about horror stuff, but like me she was hooked (and maybe a little obsessed) right off the bat. I hope they reach a writers agreement soon because I can't wait for season 3. This must see TV for me. It's so original and creative and just so damn good. It's also part of what brought me back to reddit. It's great to find so many fellowjackets!
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2023.06.09 05:38 00esmeralda00 31[f4r] SE asia/online - trying this again

Hello! I decided to give this a try again after taking a break for a while. I've met a few really cool people here but then most of the conversations die naturally.
I am not looking for a really long term conversation cause based on my experience, its kinda impossible, or if not, really hard to find.
I am ok with short and not forced convesation and playful banter on the side, cause who doesn't like a good humour? 😁
I also understand that life can be busy so no pressure to reply fast all the time. I do sometimes take a while to get back😅.
If you managed to get past that kinda long introduction and didnt get bored, here's a little about me so we can have something to talk about when u reach out:
  1. I like to cook and i sometimes bake.
  2. I dont go out very much and enjoy spending time watching movies/series or cooking shows or true crime documentaries.
  3. I like doing the laundry and Idk why most of the people are surprised with that. 😅
I can add more but what else to discover in chat if i put everything here😁
Good day! And drink you water!
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2023.06.09 05:37 thecomradej Question regarding the vampires in general

First note: I hope I don't come off bad in my line of questioning. I loved the original movie and I found myself loving the tv show after some initial trepidation. I've read some of her novels when I was teen like Servant of Bones and I feel a bit daunted with her prose. In any case, after finishing the tv show recently, a question popped up that I never had previously.
Are all the male vampires in the series gay/bisexual?
My observances with Armand, Louis, and Lestat highly implies it. Also the sexual imageries/languages Rice uses lends that idea to me. Just curious if there are any hetero vamps in her novels.
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2023.06.09 05:35 Potential-Farm-2425 I recently fished all the movies and shows, which comics are good to read lore-wise?

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2023.06.09 05:35 Leading_Catch_7277 If you could be any character from a TV show, who would it be and why?

Have you ever experienced a moment of pure synchronicity that felt almost supernatural?
submitted by Leading_Catch_7277 to u/Leading_Catch_7277 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:32 CoolSpeakers STR-DN1070 Won't Show Volume Level on TV

The display panel on the front of my STR-DN1070 is dead. I know it can be fixed with solder, but it's too far away for me to read anyway. For a long time, the receiver would show the volume popup over the image on the TV. The remote got button mashed recently and now it no longer pops up to show the receiver volume level on the TV. How can I fix this? I NEED IT OR ELSE I CAN'T TELL WHAT THE VOLUME LEVEL IS!
I already tried: Select [Setup] - [System Settings] from the home menu. Select [Auto Display]. Select [On] or [Off].
But neither On nor Off changes the setting, it's still not showing the volume level changing on the TV.
submitted by CoolSpeakers to hometheater [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:32 OutdoorzExplorerz What makes this a great show?

I'm going to admit that I didn't love it. I didn't watch under ideal conditions, though, as I watched it right before bed, and I watched each episode weeks apart. There were times that I couldn't quite remember plot lines, or who was who. There were other times when I felt like I didn't have enough Star Wars background knowledge to fully appreciate the storylines and connections. For example, I saw Rogue One when it was first released, but barely remembered the specifics of it...and I have a feeling that familiarity with Rogue One is a necessity.
So.... 1. What movies or tv shows should I watch first to make sure I can connect all the right dots?
  1. What about this show did you love? I think I'll enjoy it more if I can see it through a mega fan's eyes.
Thank you!!!
submitted by OutdoorzExplorerz to andor [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:31 RiverSmoak I think fanfiction is why "bad" movie/show adaptations don't really annoy me.

I mean, yes, I'd love to see adaptations that follow the book closely, but just because it didn't, doesn't make it a bad movie. Some movie differences I simply find amusing. Adaptations, variations, reboots, and such are simply "fan"fictions that the creators are legally able to make money off of. Besides, I sometimes read fanfics that aren't great writing, just because I enjoy the plot idea... or I've run out of other options...
Anyways, I do wish people would stop editing wiki sites with the adaptations' info and not saying which version the info was from. Better yet, they dhould create a new page for that info separate from original, like Shadowhunters did. Also, fanfic authors seem to be tagging both the show and the original content, even when it's more set with the show. That's getting annoying.
So, my main annoyances with adaptations aren't even from the actual adaptation but with fandom actions and reactions and such.
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2023.06.09 05:30 CaliforniaCynthia How lesbianism was drilled out of me growing up in the 80s

It's hard to understand just how homophobic American society was in the 80s without living through it. There were no LGBT people on mainstream TV. Nobody in our city was out publicly. Reactions to "coming out" ranged from disgust to violence. Most people didn't even know it was possible to like the same gender without being perverted, or that gays could have wholesome and genuine love. It was even worse for gay men than lesbians, because of AIDS everybody thought they had a disease and could spread death to any straight person they touched. Education on AIDS was minimal and millions of LGBT people died from it because nobody cared, least of all our president Ronald Reagan who let the disease run unchecked.
There was a guy at my college who was caught kissing another guy in 1987, he was expelled right away and had his was dorm trashed and things ripped apart, then he was charged for the damage. At 30 that was my only one and only experience meeting an LGBT person. I regret to admit that at the time my thoughts were "well he did do the gay, that's pretty bad, but he didn't deserve to get kicked out for it."
The signs that I was a lesbian were there but I never remembered, because it was all beaten out of me when I was too little to remember. When I was 5 years old I had this weird obsession with a movie I had never seen called "The Love Garden" just because I overheard somebody on the way home from school saying that two women kissed in it. My dad told me that "girls don't kiss girls" and that the movie was made by a "very sick person".
And my mom admitted that when I was 7 years old I tried making two dolls kiss and she smacked me with a mallet and sent me to bed without dinner. She said "if I ever tried anything like that again the Devil would come into the house and take me away to a place full of fire". So by the time I was 10 or 11 the idea that a girl could like a girl was totally unfathomable. I didn't even remember why exactly, just that it was not a thing that was possible.
There was a real yearbook quote from a guy I went to high school with in 1984 when I graduated that said "Couldn't get the girl of my dreams, but at least I'm not a f*ggot." Yes a slur written out in full, approved by the yearbook committee and the school. I never even thought about it until I was going through the book after I had changed my views on LGBT people sometime in the 2000s and I was like what the fuck.
My parents have changed their views today but they were caught in the same cycle of being raised on homophobia by their parents. They are really happy that I've come to term with myself, because I seem so much happier.
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